Dear Vicky,
Your new swimwear sounds great! It’s always been a dream of mine to maximize my boob potential, so this is what I’ve been waiting for.
With all your work in clothing design, I wonder if you have any engineers on staff? Do they help you come up with these ideas or just execute them from the MBA’s you have working on how to market your merchandise?
Here’s why I ask: this new swimwear called “The Miracle Bra Swimwear” says that I can wear a push-up on my bikini. You call it “push up swimwear” and promise maximum cleavage enhancement.
Now, when I go in the water I can foresee a problem. Since there is buoyancy in water and my boobs end up floating anyway, will the Miracle Bra Swimwear increase the liklihood that I’ll have boobs directly under my chin when I swim? Will they detach completely with the combination of water and Miracle Bra technology so that they swim next to me? Should I teach them the breaststroke if that happens, or is this instinctual?
Let me know soon. I’ll need to decide whether or not I keep my breasts close to my body.
Thanks so much!
Kelly
p.s. Do you also make Miracle Bra floaties for the boobs that swim on their own? Just wondering.
April 25, 2006 @ 4:17 pm | Filed under Uncategorized | Permalink |
Curlysue Said,
April 25, 2006 @ 4:28 pm
Oh dear goodness! Now that was a riot!
erica Said,
April 25, 2006 @ 4:45 pm
…if you don’t have boobs, these are not questions. you simply thank the gods for push up bikinis that squeeze your flesh together and make you look like a B cup…..
how i envy that you need your own floating devices, or for godsakes, your knockers would hit your chin!!!
PointlessBallyhoo Said,
April 25, 2006 @ 10:14 pm
:::laugh, snort::: I almost coughed up my NyQuil with this entry! Oh, you made my night.
P.S. Did your Flickr icon on the left side of your page lead one to your page of pictures? It doesn’t anymore.
P.S.S. I signed up for Flickr a while ago, but had problems getting confirmed or something, and they’re looking into the matter…been looking into it for nearly three weeks.
SandraLea Said,
April 25, 2006 @ 10:42 pm
How funny you are! I would have never thought of that….thanks for the heads up!
NursePam Said,
April 25, 2006 @ 11:49 pm
ROFLMAO! Would that I ever had enough boobage to make cleavage under any circumstances. My only hope is to reach 180 pounds which might give me enough fat to create something with the right device.
jess Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 12:56 am
You’re funny. I want less boobs, not more. I need a miracle un-bikini.
steve Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 9:49 am
I just visited your other site and found it interesting that you’ve adopted a slightly different persona at this one. You’re entertaining at both, of course, but maybe in a more female way at this one. For instance, your boob reference over at MSN involved accidental contact from little kids wanting your attention — a passive role for your “breasts” (as you referred to them in your professional mode). With this post, though, they could hardly have been made more active.
VENTL8R Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 11:15 am
What’s next, water wings?
Jennifer Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 11:43 am
Or even worse (depending on your level of modesty), will they float OUT?
Della Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 11:49 am
I think many people who buy these are not planning on messing up their perfect hair and makeup by actually going IN the water!
Tom Stormcrowe Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 11:59 am
re Steve’s comment: I noticed that as well! I like both sites, but this side of you is a more delightfully wicked “Bearded Spock Universe” kind of place……in a good way! I take it you feel a bit more freedom on the blogger side?
Mocha Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 4:36 pm
curlysue - Thanks! I wrote it this weekend when I saw the new ad showing up when I checked email. Gooooollllleee.
erica - Only if I purchase their ridiculous suit! Otherwise, The Girls are normally rather nondescript.
pb - It still works. I just checked it. Are you using a new browser? Maybe need to refresh it?
sandre lea - I’m going to leave your “heads up” comment alone, but there are soooooo many boob jokes there. I promise.
pam - Yeah, that’s kind of where I am at this point. Soon as I lose some weight, I might NEED to buy this suit!
jess - The “Unkini” as opposed to the “Bikini”? It sounds better if you say it aloud. Trust me.
Steve - Well, it comes down to this: I did promise MSN to keep it clean and I toe the line once in a while. It’s only because they featured me and seem to be coming down hard on people who are risque at the moment. Don’t dare me, though. It’s always bad to dare me.
ventl8r - Wings for breasts? Hmmmmm. Does anybody have a craving for chicken now? I’ll take an order of fried wings, please?
jennifer - Dear me! I hadn’t thought of the practical applications of them floating OUT. Could they serve as a device for others? Do we need to go there?
della - I think you’re right. They’d rather pose in them and be *seen*. Me? I don’t care. I just want to swim!
tom - Of course you do! You laugh more at my wicked side than anything else (other than getting on my soapbox - which I tend to do on MSN). Maybe I’ll throw you for a switcharoo someday and make you wonder if I forgot where I was posting!
Politically Incorrect Mom Said,
April 26, 2006 @ 10:36 pm
Hilarious! My beef is for those of us who do NOT need to increase our bust size, can there be ONE (just ONE really!) bikini top without padding???
Mocha Said,
April 27, 2006 @ 6:56 am
pim - I’m with you there! Seriously. What are they thinking, that every woman looks the same?
Wait. That’s EXACTLY what they’re thinking.
Aafrica Said,
April 27, 2006 @ 1:04 pm
my boobs don’t have the floating away tendency, but my inserted paddings do. can be really embarrassing at times. meanwhile, try iPex, the high tech bra, as they say in commercials. i’ve tried, but haven’t figured out how to program it to do my budget, but then, it could be just me.