Last night’s phone conversation with my mother:
Her: Whatcha doin’?
Me: Well, I’m trying to get back to my online class projects, but Ken’s taken over my computer at the moment.
Her: What’s Ken looking at on the Internet? Porn?
Me: No, he’s not looking at porn, Mom.
Ken: (shouting into the phone over my shoulder) No, those are on home videos!
So there is that going on for me right now. Inappropriate conversations with my mother are always fun. It will be on a more frequent basis once she moves here in the next couple of months because SHE WILL BE LIVING WITH US FOR A WHILE. If ever I were concerned about running out of topics to write about, she’ll provide me with plenty.
Being near family has been foreign to me for many years. After I left home and went to college I never returned again. Not even in the summer months. It was far too difficult to pack up my toddler and go back to live with my mom in Chicago so I stayed and took classes over the summer months as well. One would think that I could have finished in under 4 years. I managed to squeeze 4 years of college into 5 and am quite proud of that fact. I waited until the last semester to take my math class and was sorry I did: all the freshman taking that course kept pestering me to buy their beer for them. Wouldn’t you think those stupid rookies know I kept an extra $2 bucks when I gave them their change back?
As if that weren’t enough, my absolute favorite sister-in-law, Chris, called me just now to tell me they are moving to St. Louis. I think I broke her eardrum with my scream. We’ve never been able to do so much as a 4th of July bar-b-que with family because they all live so far away, and now I’ll be able to see her every weekend if I want. Chris and I have always gotten along (after I was done being jealous of her because she’s so smart and beautiful and talented and just generally fucking annoyingly wonderful) and love to talk and shop. She is an excellent shopper. Her shopping skills need to be chronicled. I think she has blueprints to the galleria.
God. I love her.
She’s married to Ken’s older brother, Gale, and they are the closest in age to use as anyone else in the family.
That’s because Ken is the baby boy in a family of 5 kids and there were four kids right in a row one, two, three, four and then TEN years later, there was Ken. So, not only did I marry a Baby Boy, but I married one who is, by psychological standards, an ‘only child’ and quite spoiled.
So stop thinking it’s all that great to be married to Kennimus for a minute, ok?
Because as soon as they move here I will become a widow of sorts. They will golf together, watch pro-basketball games together and generally do All Boy Stuff since they get along so well with one another.
Chris and I will shop during that time. Hopefully, I can suck her in to the inappropriate conversations as well.
June 29, 2006 @ 4:00 pm | Filed under Freaky Family | Permalink |
Erin Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 4:12 pm
I, too squeezed 4 years of college into 5. *grin*
Natalie Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 4:48 pm
I now live just three minutes from my mom. Holy Blog Fodder! Actually, she’s been absolutely wonderful. She cajoled me into going to Costco with her today. I needed nothing but spent twice as much as her. *sigh* Let’s just say we’re mighty, mighty shoppers! (And lettin’ it all hang out!)
There’s something really great about being so close to “family” ie; my mom. I hope (and I’m sure you will) you find it as wonderful.
We have landed… and are STILL waiting for our TIVO and need to unpack about 60 MORE boxes. God, ya start on one thing and it leads to twelve more. That’s how it goes, I guess. I miss my desk. Right now it’s being used as an entertainment center for the tv. I’m using a big ol’ folding table for a desk. I guess it’s better than sitting on the floor.. HOWEVER… Angela needs a new computer and I think I’ll give her mine and sneak out and purchase my own “Jane.” Yeah… computer shopping. Woo!
I’ll talk to you soon…
Take care darlin’, (notice the suddenly southwestern affectation in my drawl)
Natalie
Natalie Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 4:49 pm
PS…
You may note that my powers of rationalization have dramatically increased.
It’s the altitude, baby!
LOL
Amber Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 6:18 pm
Heavens,
LIVING with Mother? My sympathies. Mine is coming for two weeks to “help” with the baby and I’m not sure if I can survive it. When she came to “help” with Hadley, we had non-stop wars over the fact that she constantly cranked the heat. When it was 95 degrees outside. The woman has NO ability to monitor her temperature. Don’t ask me how she’s survived in Canada her whole life…
Dawn Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 6:21 pm
I live in St. Louis. Love it. My mom as well as the rest of my family lives within 15 minutes of each other. I look forward to hearing about your time with your mom as mine drives me nuts most of the time. If I don’t talk to her every day I get the “I haven’t talked to you in so long”
Tom Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 6:59 pm
Shoot, I didn’t even start college until I was 36! Then it took me 3 years to get a 2 year degree. I had to work the graveyard shift at Home Depot and watch my 3 kids during the day. I was pretty stoked when I pulled that one off,although it was probably tougher on my wife. Oh yeah, I only had one teenager ask me to buy him beer.
Mom of Sweetie Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 7:40 pm
Ahhh. Finally a moment to read blogs and I get to come here. So hello! And boy am I looking forward to the mother chronicles. Because I know there will come a day when my mother’s casa will mean MY casa. Oy vey.
Chantele Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 9:32 pm
Well, I stretched 4 years of college into 6. And I took summer classes every year too! I did transfer from a community college after getting my Associate’s, though, and that cost me about 30 credits. And then I failed the big “prove you can do it” class and had to retake it…twice…but the first time I just dropped it. Hmmm…maybe I should just blog about that story sometime.
freckledSasha Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 11:23 pm
Moving in with you? For how long? I can only handle so much of my mother. I love her, and she is my bestest friend, but we have such different communication styles that we begin to clash once the novelty of seeing eachother wears off (it takes a good 7 or 8 days). I hope you and her will do better… either way I look forward to the stories, especially the embarassing ones
StrollerGuy Said,
June 29, 2006 @ 11:55 pm
Um, yeah…I do remember leaving a comment. I suppose I should add that the “stop licking now” bubble is a nice touch. “Good to the Last Blog.” Hmmm - do you like coffee? It’s hard to tell…
Sure - come back and join the fray anytime. I understand that my Space gives Macs fits, but I am working on it. (”That’s funny right there - I don’t care who ya are.”)
I don’t live in St. Louis per se; I am in it’s long-ago “competitor,” Alton, Illinois (about 25 miles away). I claim “St. Louis Metro” because, A) very few know where Alton is, and B) anytime I say Illinois, folks automatically assume I live in Chicago.
I have been there ONCE. It was nice. It’s almost SIX HOURS away. So I claim the “STL.” (Thanks, Nelly!)
It would seem that the Gateway City figures into your scheme somehow. Have you ever been to The Grind in the “CWE.”
Peas,
david
jackt Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 2:15 am
So nice to have family around. I’m glad you have some moving nearby.
teddy Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 4:01 am
4 into 5. You crack me up.
Mocha Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 4:31 am
Erin & Chantele - Oh, good. So I wasn’t the only one.
Natalie - So good to hear from you and so sad we never got together to meet before you moved.
But! You sound unbelievably happy, albeit tired, to have moved the family. And! It gives me a reason to visit. Powers of rationalization are not state-specific. Or area-specific. I’ve mastered them as well.
Amber - We’ve got the temp thing down ok. But (and I say this knowing FULL WELL that my mother does NOT read my comments, only my blog entries) I hope she cooks and cleans for me because I’m just too tired and busy and then we wouldn’t need a maid. We’ll have her. Gosh. I hope she doesn’t pick TODAY to read my comments.
Dawn - I consider you very lucky for that! Hey, didn’t I see you over at Erica’s? I was certain I’d clicked on your name from a while ago. Y’all have that adoption thang in common. Best of luck with that!
Tom - Anytime you start is fine, I think. Good on you. You didn’t say whether or not you bought the beer for the teenager…
Mom of Sweetie - I envision that my stories will be filled with “I-can’t-believe-she-said-that” type stuff. The “Oy-vey” won’t set in for a few months.
Sasha - Hopefully, it will be for a few months. If I know her, she’ll stretch it into a year. Ok. I was kidding with that. She’s far too independent to want to live with me that long. Wouldn’t it be great to take bets on how soon before I crack with her living here? You’ll notice a change in my writing. It will be full of rage.
StrollerGuy - Let me impress you with my knowledge of Alton, Illinois. First, it is where “People” magazine was begun. Robert Wadlow, the World’s Tallest Man, lived there, and it’s a known stop on the Underground Railroad. But, I love it because of Fast Eddie’s. Good GOD, was there ever a better hamburger anywhere? Or cheaper? Good times. We make a trip down there quite often to stop at Fast Eddie’s Bon Aire (what’s with the extension?) and have gone to the riverboat on a few occasions. Now, what the heck is CWE? Or The Grind? I’ve lost you on my impression now, haven’t I?
jackt - Thanks! I’m glad you think so. Everyone seems to think I’ll go nuts, but when you haven’t had it for a while, you really miss it. I’ve really missed it.
teddy - It takes a special skill, Young Grasshopper, to have managed that. Ok, not so much. Because at least 2 commentors have also admitted it.
notafitbabe Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 6:37 am
No you are not alone… I wrapped 2 2 year programs I was taking at the same time into 3 1/2… shouldn’t have tried taking them at the same time. But on the positive side, I am only 6 classes away from a bachelors in psych if I ever want to go back… I barely did it with two little ones… can’t imagine it with ones that actually expect me to drop everything be their little maid… Good luck with Mom… I can’t wait to read them…
Jill
Dawn Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 7:03 am
The Grind is a great coffee shop in the Central West End(CWE) our very sophisticated living/eating/shopping area on the east side of Forest Park.
Dana Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 7:04 am
Can I move in with you, too? I can only imagine the conversations that would develop!
Mocha Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 7:12 am
Jill - Doesn’t that just get to you knowing you’re so close?! 6 classes? Hey, I’ll bet I could do that within 10 years or so.
Dawn - Thank you for explaining! Once, when I visited my daughter in STL she commented on my outfit and said, “Maaaam (with her newly developed accent) you look SO West County.” I’ll have to look up The Grind now!
Dana - Do you cook well? Can you contribute to dysfunctional daily drama? Wash clothes and DRIP DRY the bras? Then, c’mon over, girly.
Carrie Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 7:24 am
Hey, I haven’t been here in a while - love the new blog site. You’ve done a great job.
Have fun with your sister in law! My hubby and I used to live in St. Louis for about 6 years. LOVED IT. Great city. You’ll have so much fun shopping there!
Blog Fodder Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 7:50 am
MY coming to live with you gets THREE SENTENCES and Ken’s sister-in-law coming to live 2 HOURS AWAY gets paragraph after paragraph after paragraph!!! Am I SPECIAL or what?!?!?!?!?!
Brenda Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 8:01 am
I wasn’t gonna do it… but Eric did so now I have to admit completing my 4 years of college in 5, too. What shameless blog friends you have!
Please keep me posted on the chronicled shopping skills. I’d so love reading them.
Fabiola Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 8:08 am
Hey,
Brazil won. People were crazy. Today, everyone is cheering Germany. Because we don’t like ” Los Hermanos Argentinos” during the World Cup.
Tomorrow, we will play against France. All the reasonable people are saying we will gonna repeat the match of 1998 World Cup final, when Brazil lost. But the Latin blood which makes everyone emotional is saying it will be the long waited revenge.
Letīs wait and see!!!
Fabiola
Dweena Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 8:15 am
Just wanted to say hello! I will be stoping by on my regular blog journey each day. Glad to have found you.
Nina
KC Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 8:44 am
Hi Hun… I can finally come by and get caught up!!! My home internet fiascos are fixed and your site is firewalled at work (LMFAO)… so I am now getting caught up!
It does sound like you are excitted about your mom coming to live with you for a bit… I purposefully live as far from my family is possible but I secretly admire families that are close knit and loving. I always encourage my girlfriends to appreciate their family relationships and what they have…. You are lucky.. and I look forward to reading the pelithera of stories your mum will provide you!
Nice to be back hun! Are you low on Timmie’s yet? Let me know…. LOL
Ciao bella,
KC
Jeff Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:28 am
My wife and her family are from St. Louis so we visit frequently. In fact, we met at AJ’s bar downtown! We (all of you St. Louisians) will have to pull a blog-together sometime ala your Chicago funfest with Dave.
Jungle Mama Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:39 am
We’ve not gone back to family for 11 years now. And we just keep moving further away. I think I might actually be hyperventilating if I found out I’d have so much family close by. I normally end up in some sort of nervous breakdown after we visit home . . . way too much family. A little dose will do ya.
Mocha Momma Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:40 am
Blog Fodder - Wow, Mom. You just served me my own ass on a platter. In front of the entire Internet. Nice. I meant it all in love. And St. Louis is ONE hour away, Mom. ONE. ONE! Less than that if I’m driving because I got my lead foot from you. Kisses!
KC - Girlfriend, I’ve been out of Timmie’s for a while. Kennimus sucked that up quickly.
Jeff and St. Lousians - I’m up for it but since I don’t live there because I live ONE HOUR away, I can’t put it together. Anybody game for it? Just don’t kill me. Or be psychopaths, ok? Ok.
Ami Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:47 am
That is absolutely the biggest thing that I miss since moving away from my home town. My entire immediate family, and most of my extended family, lives at least 6 hours away by car, with no acceptable airport in the near vacinity. You’ve just reminded me how nice it is to have family around and exactly why I enjoy my time with the people that share my DNA (and a few who don’t but might as well).
~A
Siobhan Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:55 am
When we got pregnant my dad asked us to move in with him. It has been good, but hard. Especially on my hubby. He’s the kind of guy that needs to be the king of his own castle. Hubby wants to move to California eventually, the schools are better there then in Vegas. We would be living near to his family. After 8 years of living near or with mine, I can’t begrudge him that!! Just makes me a little nervous for 2 reasons. 1) California is $$$expensive. 2) His family is crazy
Jennifer Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 10:51 am
I can understand the need to be close to family. When my husband & I got married 8 years ago, we moved about 17 hours away from my family to South Carolina. His mother is here and I truly do love her but it is just not the same. We just sold our house and are going to rent for about a year, save money and move back to Texas. My husband is so good about understanding that I need my family around. It is great to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
By the way, it took me 4.5 years to get through 4 years of college taking summer classes as well. I don’t know why! It sure felt like I was going full time. Oh well, good memories!
Dana Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 11:35 am
Yes, I cook well. Medium well to be exact. NO bloodiness in my steaks. And I do laundry and I know not to dry bras. And I’m the princess of dysfunctional. Lemme tell ya!
And blog fodder! You rock! I now see where Kelly gets her spunk!
Tom Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 3:10 pm
There was a time …. but no, I didn’t buy the beer.
May Blaiz Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 4:22 pm
You are too funny!!! Your writing has been applauded by many MSN spacer’s and so I had to take this time to read some of your blogs. Like you, I have a man who is basically an only child; he has 5 siblings and he is 9 years apart from the second last child. It’s not fun sometimes… And me ? I’m the oldest child… what a combo… but we’ve managed to stay together for 7 years… imagine that? Now someone can relate to me… FINALLY!!!
Enjoy the weekend..
Sue (Mominator) Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:56 pm
OMG,my sisters and I all fight over who is going to have mom over for dinner! Heaven forbid she would have to move in with us. I think I’d move and not leave a forwarding address! Good luck!
You are to be congratulated for finishing college as a single mom. People just don’t realize how tricky and difficult that is to achieve. And you did it right out of high school. You are amazing!
Sounds like you will have a hanging out buddy too! Dish us the dirt on the shopping please!
: ) Sue
twin_cities_chic Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 1:29 am
You are a brave person to have your mother come and live with you, I don’t think I could do it. ~twin_cities_chic
Brenda Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 9:08 am
… as I look back over my post (NOTE: left prior to my caffeine kick of the morning) and realized that I thought “Erin” was actually “Eric”! Talk about a fog. I need to borror Francesca one of these days. Folgers just isn’t doing it for me!
jeankfl Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 11:54 am
Kelly,
You have my sincerest condolences! I live across the street from my mom, who I adore, but boy!She can sometimes send me into la-la land without even trying hard.. After all, she wired those “buttons”, so she can hit them without even getting out of breath! Good luck, my friend.
*hugs*
Jean
Nooner Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 4:55 pm
Can Ken use an older freind like me? I love his humor .. lol @ “No, those are on home video”.
I was thinking of doing a blog in the next day or two that included my mother. She was my first kiss (at birth) and, 56 years later, my most recent (a few hours ago at the Skilled Nursing Home she is at). Though every moment is precious now, I understand fully how living under the same roof years after leaving the house can be nerve racking. So, Bless You in advance of her arrival! lol.
~Nooner~
EricAtRandom Said,
July 2, 2006 @ 7:15 pm
OK, too funny… I skipped forward a bit at one point and mistakenly got the impression your mom was also your sister-in-law (i.e. thought Ken’s brother was married to your mom because I missed the part about Chris’ call)!
Glad I went back and re-read!
Oh, and by the way, the internet is for porn, as evidenced by this (no porn here… just a verbal reference to it):
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5430343841227974645
Enjoy!