It’s Almost As Strong As Starbucks
I’m not big on looking at Google searches for how people found me, but today I actually had the time to do it. While I have no idea why the “crawling skin” person would be interested in me, I am most pleased that “shoplift the pootie what does it mean?” garnered me the number one spot. Cool. Starbucks needs to watch their back, too, because “kopi kampung” brought them up in the 1st and 2nd spots, but it was MOCHA MOMMA that was numbers 3 & 4. HA. I’m hoping to knock them out so please leave some Kopi Kampung love for me in the comments should you be the commenting type.
His Kung Fu Is Strong, Too
Recently, my addiction with flickr has helped me find not only great photos, but some great bloggers as well. Currently, my favorite photographer is Ted Foo who has some serious kung fu to his photos. He also introduced me to this as Mr. Rogers has been the topic of late in our house. The video is about 6 minutes in length, but it’s worth it to watch the entire thing for his sincere concern for the state of television in 1969. Every time I watch it I tear up for how it touches me.
First, it’s been the topic because Morgan watches it every single day. I’m grateful for that because Mr. Rogers was The. Coolest. Guy. Morgan doesn’t really have much of a choice since we don’t have cable (or TiVo or anything - it’s a personal family choice so we don’t watch crap).
Secondly, because Ken’s sister used to work for the public television station. Once, while working up on a scaffold she dropped her hammer (or wrench or something made of metal and hard) and she yelled “Ow! Fuck!” (or something really, really bad) and when she looked down she noticed Fred Rogers walking by and looking up at her. Of all the people in the world you wouldn’t want to cuss in front of, I would think Mr. Rogers would rank right up there.
Her Kung Fu Is The Strongest
Since I’ve been handed my ass by my mother in yesterday’s post comments, I figured it was time to make good come of it. Because, seriously, I don’t need my mom to be mad at me. It’s not like I hold the cards on her and can’t make her life miserable while living with me. Sure, we have an extra room, but that couch is looking like a perfect fit for her now. This was paragraph number one, Mom.
There’s something about the impending threat of my mom moving in with us that makes me want to clean things that she would never really care about, but I don’t need to hear anything about the state of my closets or about the dust behind the piano. I’m on it. Mason was given the dustrags and some furniture cleaner first thing this morning from his TaskMasterMommy. Right after he asked to go to the movies and needed money, I knew how I would rope him into doing housework. This was paragraph number two, Mom.
There are a few things my mom and I do well together and one of them is cook. We are on the same vibe in the kitchen and have shorthanded language and like to eat all the same things. No one in the world makes better biscuits and gravy than my mom and I’m going to make her cook it every Saturday morning. Please, Mommy? This was paragraph number three, Mom.
It’s my sincere hope that our family doesn’t try to change things when she moves in, but I know that’s inevitable. We’ll try to live life as normal as possible with regards to hanging out as a family, attending various kid functions, but Kennimus and I will try to have very quiet sex. This was paragraph number four, Mom
Her sense of humor is far greater than mine and she is exactly where I learned to be this wild, mouthy, opionated woman. It’s possible that we’ll even get another tattoo together. I envision a lot of laughter in this house and that’s no different than our every day norm. I even laughed when I saw her comment for the first time ever. But, in truth, what I originally thought when I read it was don’t get cheeky with me, motherfucker.
I’m more concerned about cussing in front of Mr. Rogers than I am my mom.
June 30, 2006 @ 10:34 am | Filed under Freaky Family | Permalink |
Dana Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 11:32 am
Kelly! Watch you language! My mother may have a nervous breakdown if she ever reads this! -hehehehe- NO but seriously, curse away! I don’t mind it!
notafitbabe Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 1:15 pm
Kelly, perhaps in another 10 years I will get it, along with my criminal justice degree to go with the security guard stuff….. My mom would love your site, language and all, because as I get older the things that I just knew that she would not like I see her doing over and over and over. I don’t know if my kids would survive without their tv… not that they watch anything real inappropriate…
I wish you all the best in overtaking the 1 and 2 spots away from you know who…I will help any way I can
Jill
fizzle Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 1:22 pm
Shoplift the pootie’s what you’re known for, eh? Nooot surprising.
Be kind to thy mother, girlfriend, that’s always smart. And now I just have to follow my own advice….
NursePam Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 2:02 pm
LMAO! Have fun with mom. You know you’re gonna love it. That google thing is very cool. Kopi Kampung!
Karen Said,
June 30, 2006 @ 9:14 pm
Thank you for the link to the Mr. Rogers video. I really admire what he did with his show and the life he led. We also do not have cable at home (and we rarely watch t.v.), Mr. Rogers is a program I enjoyed as a child & I am so glad it’s still aired on PBS stations so my daughter can enjoy it too.
I hope you have a lovely holiday weekend!
auntteamals Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 1:15 am
trust me, i would rather cuss in front of mr rogers.
always a nice surprize to see a comment from you and today i needed a nice surprize. Ü
cybilscribbles Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 10:07 am
So what was your record on the states test? Our house record is 92%, 5 miles, and 167 seconds…
Better you than me living with your mom. At our house that would last about 168 seconds.
When my oldest was a toddler, he always called Mr. Rogers “Rogers”. No “Mr.” to be found. Have you ever heard the bizarre urban legend that Rogers was a navy seal? It is hilarious!
mizangie Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 1:04 pm
When my mother’s sister was dying of cancer, my cousins kept their mom at home and nursed her themselves, with MY mom’s help. After my aunt died and my mother came back home, we had this discussion:
Mom: So, when I start dying are you going to take care of me like the cousins did your Aunt Pat?
Me: No. I’m slappin’ your ass in an old-folks home and will only visit once a week.
Mom: Why would you do that?
Me: Because you’re a hateful woman whose mission has been to make my life miserable, and you’re a bitch.
Mom: C*nt!!
My God I miss her…
R Burgess Said,
July 1, 2006 @ 7:49 pm
You should hear my mom playing MadLibs!
R
TJ Said,
July 2, 2006 @ 3:56 am
Humor and sex. It’s what’s for dinner.
KC Said,
July 2, 2006 @ 7:18 pm
Congrats on your movin’ on up the google search! Not bad! You are always full of humor and well… hey what’s a little ’shoplifting the pootie’ amongst friends?
Happy 4th to you and yours…. we are in the finishing touches of our Canada Day weekend celebrations (the fireworks have officially stopped freaking the shit out of my cats now… Thank you) I have one more day off before hitting a short week at work…
I hope your mum pending stay with you is as excitting and as full of adventure than I envision. I am very envious because I will never get that chance with my mother. Or my father. So count your blessings dear one that she is still alive and kicking… even if it means quiet sex for a little while.
Ciao bella… miss you! Come by and visit anytime now that you’ve cyber stalked my ass!
KC
ImHir Said,
July 3, 2006 @ 7:25 am
So funny, my mother taught Bruce Lee(roy). Perhaps yours taught Jackie Chan. Long before they came up with WWJD, I was dealing with What Would Mommy Do TO ME?
You’re a brave girl, though, I’ve cursed in front of my mom exactly once… ONCE I tell you was PLEN-TY! She’s 4′10″ and every BIT as crazy as a drunken wombat in a burlap sack tied to a merry-go-round.
Funny, funny lady. Oh and you are too Mocha.
Foolish Skeptic Said,
July 4, 2006 @ 6:41 pm
Not sure if you already knew this, but “kopi kampung” literally translated into english means “village coffee”.
Bit of trivia. *smiles*
Winged-One Said,
July 5, 2006 @ 2:55 am
Kelly, my sexy wench. New computer has been installed and paid for. I am back online and am able to do whatever the hell I please. Come see me, email me, flash me… whatever. I miss you. PMSL@ Blog Fodder handing your arse to you on a platter. I would DIE if my MUM ever found my site. I mean that. She’d hang me, harrangue me for eons, mutilate, disect and quarter me. Then she’d die just so she could keep yelling at me in hell. Mwah to you, Kennimus, kids and Mom. Soggy wants to know where the pics you promised him are? LOL