My sensitivity to smell has afforded me a heightened sense of scents, but that’s only because I’m legally blind. Since I can’t see very well, my olfactory sense is really very good. This is the argument I use when I buy lots of perfume and have bottles and sprays everywhere. My friends and people I work with know this about me and I’m known for my smell.
That sounded bad, but it’s not.
A long time ago while working in my classroom on a weekend, another young teacher came to find me because when she walked in the building she said she could smell my perfume.
Another time I let a girlfriend borrow a sweater which she took home with her. Later, when I was visiting her she returned it to me saying that she found it in her teenage daughter’s room and was told, “I wanted to sleep with it. It smells like Kelly.”
So, saying something smells like me is no big surprise.
Last weekend I had to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles to get a new license because I lost mine. Blame it on too much purse changing, but it was G-O-N-E and I can’t live without it. I’ve learned my lesson at the DMV and I’m not ashamed to say that I will wear my best push-up bra, put on makeup, and do my hair. There’s just no other way to get ahead with some of the cranky people who work there, so flirting is one of my options to getting good service.
I completely condone this.
I strutted my stuff all the way up to the counter only to find a woman working the desk.
So much for that plan.
She wasn’t smiling when I got there so I started in with “Hi! How are yoooouuuu?” in a sing-song voice. She wasn’t buying it. Damn. I sighed loudly and began taking out the requisite docutments to prove my identity. She waited patiently as I dug through my large bag and then she broke through the shuffling noises I was making by asking, “What are you wearing?”
I recall putting on lip gloss for the man-who-was-supposed-to-flirt-with-me so I could move along faster. Every other time I’ve been there, it’s been a male manning that first counter where I check in.
“Ummm… I’m wearing C.O. Bigelow mentha lip gloss. Is that what you smell?”
“Noooooo.” She joined in the sing-songiness of my voice and looked upward to think of a way to better describe the scent. “It’s not that. I don’t think.”
To be sure, I pulled it out of my bag and handed it over to her. As she pulled it near her nose to sniff, I heard the shuffling of feet behind me. Wonderful. We’ll get a line here in a minute and I’m still busy flirting with the woman-at-the-counter-who-was-supposed-to-be-a-man.
“Is it this?” I ask and pull out my Frozen Daiquiri spray. “That’s from Bath & Body Works.”
She takes the bottle from me in one hand and exchanges the lip gloss in another as I’m pulling every product from my purse. The counter at the DMV is beginning to look several teenage girls are getting ready for prom with all the stuff on it.
“No. That’s kind of fruity. This smell isn’t a fruity smell. It smells like….. like…. HEY! DO YOU KNOW THAT SALON DOWNTOWN? It’s on a corner?”
“Yeah. I used to go there. They sell all Aveda stuff.”
“THAT’S IT. YOU SMELL ALL AVEDA-Y.” She pronounced it uh-vay-duh-ee.
By this time, the line has 4-5 people behind me and I realize that I really need to haul ass to get my picture taken (since, you know, I got all dolled up for this) and get outta there before they realize that I drove illegally to get there.
DMV Chick does her tap-tap-tapping on the computer to finish my application and hands me a number to move along to the next place. This is the first time we’ve stopped talking about what I smell like and it’s totally silent. It’s got that awkward situation vibe to it, so I try to break the silence.
“Look. We’ve already moved way beyond “What’s Appropriate At The DMV. Would you like to smell my hair?”
I lean over the counter and offer my hair to her. She laughs and says, “Yep! That’s it. That’s the smell. What is it?”
“Confixor, a hair gel. Doesn’t it smell great?”
“Yeah. I gotta get some of that.”
I put my belongings back in my enormous bag and move along to the next counter where the guy gives me a can-I-smell-you-too? look.
It was the fastest, nicest visit to the DMV in my entire life. It wasn’t really how I looked, it was how I smelled.
July 20, 2006 @ 5:48 am | Filed under Everyday Mundane | Permalink |
Dana Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 6:47 am
I can relate to scents as well. I used to work in a department store (Elder-Beerman to be exact) and I’d buy all the designer perfumes when they were on sale. My favorite is Ralph Lauren’s Ralph. Once some asked me what I was wearing and I made the mistake of saying, Ralph. The poor woman was like, “Oh, what a yucky name for such a good scent.” I had to tell her not Ralph as in vomit, but Ralph as in Lauren!
Jill Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:14 am
Hahaha… I know for a fact that a great smelling guy will get away with a lot more with me while at work than one that smells like barnyard or work sweat…. The same with the girls… some of them just smell too nice
On another note… glad your trip to the DMV went smoothly… not that it is any of my business, but how did the picture turn out?
Jill
Juli Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:14 am
I have a heightened sense of smell as well and never really attributed it to the fact that I have a terrible astigmatism (eye thing). But my olfactory cue is a curse as all I seem to be most keenly aware is the nasty smells. Rue the day when someone drops a bomb near me!! PEW!
Even good scents are often too powerful for my overly sensitive nostrils. I couldn’t wear perfumes for a long time because I thought they were too pungent on me even if I liked them in the bottle.
However, since I know Mocha, I can attest that she does SMELL rather fragrant. Wafts of her flowery hair gel plumes the air with freshness.
Tom Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:28 am
I got an e-mail from Mocha Mama the other day. It smelled real nice!
Elizabeth Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:31 am
I’m so proud of you for strutting your stuff. Work it girlie!
My C.O. Bigelow Mentha is lip tint #1136. I feel like I’ve put on Bonne Bell once it’s on…it’s all think and shiny.
Elizabeth Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:31 am
THICK and shiny. Ugh. *smacks head*
Elizabeth Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:32 am
…Oh and I can smell you from here. Part Kelly, part coffee.
Mocha Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:36 am
Dana - I’ve never met anyone else who knew what an Elder-Beerman was. We had one near my college town. And I always called it “Lauren” with the emphasis on the “-ren” part. LauREN. Ralph just wasn’t what I wanted to be thinking about.
Jill - As luck would have it, they keep your photo on file so they printed off the old one. That sucks. I have a “what’s that stinky smell?” look on my face. No kidding. It’s awful.
Juli - Thanks for the vote of confidence considering the last time you smelled me I was sweating and BATHING in your sister’s pool. You smelled nice, too.
Elizabeth - Mine is No. 1136, but I don’t really care about the color. I basically eat it off and reapply 17 more times every day. I got a tickle from the Part Kelly, Part Coffee bit. That could be a post title. HA.
Mocha Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:38 am
Tom - I missed you! I was busy thinking about the girly girls who were commenting and discussing lip gloss. Would you care to add? Favorite flavor? That particular e-mail scent was Eau de Pledge. I was cleaning the house that day.
Elizabeth Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:42 am
There we go again…being on each other’s blogs at the same time. That makes for rapid fire blogging. Would you stop it?? My fingers can’t take the pressure!
We faired okay here, only a couple of small branches down which is AMAZING. We usually have half a tree down in an event like this. Jim & I took the girls swimming at the Y when Armageddon hit. We damn near drove over some trees and the occassional powerline. That was enough to send me into hysterical fits. I’m all better now.
NursePam Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:49 am
Mmmmmmmmmmm! The scent of a woman ;^) I am a scent freak. It’s one of the sad things about choosing to be a nurse. You cannot OD on the perfumed products because it nauseates people when they are ill.
But whoever woulda thunk that smelling nice could get you attention at the DMV. I’ll have to file that one in my memory bank.
I can’t wait to get back to Hawaii though and load up again on island blossom scents.
Jeannie Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 8:16 am
Smell is such a wonderful thing! I will quite literally rub my face all over smell good stuff! Talk about sensual…and I love “Breath Romance” from bath and body works. Maybe I should clarify a little bit here. I don’t necessarily rub my face all over PEOPLE….or at least not ALL of them anyway. Okay, I’m making my exit here before I say something totally inappropos.
jenny Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 8:24 am
Ha - love it! Although when we met, I think the pizza smell was too overwhelming for me to notice your lovely scent. You’ll have to come back to Chicago so I can verify for myself. I use Aussie Sprunch hairspray, and often get comments on it. The most awkward was a tech guy fixing my PC at work, “Wow - your hair smells really nice!”
Um… okay, so should I reboot now?
Juli Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:11 am
Jenny, Isn’t that a commericial? Or should be anyway. I’m not sure if it should be for “Gee your hair smells terrific” or “how to hit on computer geeks”. Too funny, you made me snort out loud again. That’s really embarrassing in cube world.
Mocha, you have expensive tastes for a poor teacher lady. You know, that could be an alternative reason why all those kids in your classrooms get in all those scuffles - Cuz smell good teacher will come over, and break it up. You may want to quit bathing in it. Food for thought.
Jess~sapientia2010 Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:21 am
I absolutely love smell too! I always wear Bath and Body Works White Tea and Ginger. I too splurge on perfume. Just a year ago I bought Beautiful by Estee Lauder. When my hubby came home from work to kiss me he started to have breathing problems then broke out in hives. Oh, well. I brown nosed and gave it to my boss’s wife. I’ve always liked her anyway!
Jessica Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:23 am
I use Confixer too…did they tell you to mix it with the Elixer? It actually works great for curly hair, the Elixer is a leave-in conditioner so you don’t get that wet crunchy look. The Aveda-y smell is my favorite smell ever. There used to be a hot guy at my office who wore some kind of Aveda colonge or something. It was kind of creepy how I would find reasons to get close to him and sniff!
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:24 am
*sigh* Mocha honey, ONLY you would end up getting smelled by the staff at the DMV.
Bath and Body Works “Cool Citrus Basil” - body splash, body wash and cream - is my scent of choice. Too bad I can only find it when they’re having their season ending sale (at which I stock up). And I do wish the scent lasted longer so I don’t have to reapply every hour or so…I end up feeling like an orchid that constantly needs misting.
DavidShag Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:24 am
I always get a woman at the DMV - AL, WI, NY - all of the ones I have been to. I didn’t know they allowed men. Women, I believe, have a more acute sense of smell (and hearing) than men - I think men have the better sight, though. I remember once I had on some diGiorgio stuff my nephew gave me - i never noticed it had that greek ‘pi’ symbol on it - and I was at the doc’s office, and the female who weighed me said, “Oh you are wearing Pi - I love Pi” and I had not a clue what she was talking about and of couse assumed ‘pie’ - yet for once DIDN’T make a fool of myself - I proceeded cautiously, until I finally figured out what she meant. And I do like it - actually - it is completely different from any of the other men’s stuff.
Alex Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:40 am
My mother-in-law bought me some on that “pi” cologne one time rather as a prank. But, it really did smell pretty good. I used every bit of it. I have always been a big cologne guy, not too heavy mind you, but loved to smell good. It’s a smell good, feel good sort of thing, I think. It is always good when you find that just-right fragrance that blends with your body chemistry and creates something totally unique. I used to have a cologne that blended well with me. Used it for years, BUT, Belinda doesn’t like it. So, now I go with my mother-in-law gifting me “pi.”
Now, Mocha, I am getting to know you through Belinda and she tells me all these wonderful stories and how beautiful you are….and if you smell as good as reputed then dang, you must be a force to be reckoned with.
Colleen Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:47 am
Hi, Smelly.
What’s up?
deannie Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 10:03 am
My last trip to the DMV was equally GREAT and I totally attribute it to the hair, lip gloss, low cut T-shirt combo. Oh, and showing up at 8 am before anyone else was there.
I know what you mean about smells…I am also blind and can smell things a mile away. I still live in a household where there are folks who are allergice to perfumes, so I only get to smell them at the department store counters. So far one scent that I totally love and have yet to ever actually buy: Eternity by Calvin Klein. I swear, it smells like a romantic bouquet of roses…yum
Hugs,
Joy Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 10:11 am
you smell ADEVA-EY??? you sexy wench you. i have to say, i balk at aveda prices, but i have never thought of it in hte same league as my perfume purchase. hmmm. anything that will get me ahead at teh DMV, or have someone sniffing my hair in awe–i’m IN!
Miranda Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 10:16 am
I have, like, mad blood hound sniffing skills. Too much of a smell, good or bad, makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. It’s terrible. My husband, on the other hand, seems to not smell anything, which is so annoying when he forgets to take the trash out and can’t understand why I’m gagging.
I’ve always loved perfumes, but couldn’t wear them because I’d smell myself all day and get nauseous. Then Chanel started making Chance and I’ve worn it everyday since. My husband associates it so much with me now that he gets mad when he catches someone else wearing it. I think he’s got selective smelling skills and likes to mess with me.
fizzle Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 11:49 am
Hmmm. Funny you should write about smell. That’s the exact opposite of my day’s experience.
I woke up early to get a 10 mile run I’ve been dreading in. Why shower? I’m only gonna get stank. 3 miles in to a hot and humid run I realize, “shit! ob/gyn appointment, in one hour on the other side of town!” In a rush, I book it there, unshowered and sweaty.
In the confines of the elevator I could smell that I had a very, uhm, particular odor.
But apparently this didn’t do my any disfavors. I’m in an elevator with doctor and two people, wearing a tank and workout shorts. The two people exit the elevator on the third floor and as the door closes behind them (leaving me and the tall, well-dressed cute doctor), he says to me from behind, “my tie on straight?” and gives me a seductive little wink, while adjusting his very straight already and fly tie. And then…he banters.
My stink attracts flies. And doctors. Not sure it’ll do me favors at the DMV.
Aafrica Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 12:36 pm
oh that’s so nice! i’ve yet to find my specialty. my nose isn’t really up to it ‘cuz i have bad allergy. i’m too near sighted to see anything. … but wait, my sense of touch is very good. hmm … i wonder if people would let me touch them …
MeL Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 2:37 pm
I am sooo addicted to Bath and Body Works Sweet Pea. Lotion, body spray, you name it. THEN I started using the Warm Vanilla Sugar hand soap. I am addicted to vanilla in an unhealthy and perplexing way, but I’ve come to terms with it. (Triple Shot of Vanilla in your latte, anyone???)
THEN I recently discovered Avon’s “Tomorrow” perfume. Which smells Exactly. Like. Warm. Vanilla. Sugar. In perfume form. So I smell like I just washed my hands in $10 soap ALL DAY LONG. (whoever posts next must refrain from capital letters, I seem to have absconded with all of them.)
But, seriously. It’s THAT good.
Kelly, when do I get to smell your hair????
Mannyed Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 2:52 pm
*sniff, sniff* Ahhh! I love that “New Kelly Scent! You should turn your “scent” into an air refreshner.
Mocha Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 4:48 pm
I’m glad y’all are telling me your faves. Kennimus is not. He knows I’m adding them to The List. It smells much better in here, too. Lord knows we needed it. Fizzle brought the FUNK with her.
Pam - Let me know when you go to Hawaii - I’ll put in an order.
Jeannie - Inappropos runs rampant here.
Jenny - That was Pepperoni Perfume. I just happened to blend in with the restaurant.
Jessica - WHAT? You’re supposed to mix it? They never told me that! HAVE YOU SEEN MY CURLY HAIR? I would have hoped they could mention it.
Alex - I immediately hollered out, “It’s SnortinFartinHog!” when I saw your name. It was all in adoration you know. Belinda will tell you that it’s my eyes that she fears. It’s amazing I ever got married. Well, not really. I scared him into it.
Colleen - How did you know that was an old nickname?
Aafrica - I can safely say that they probably would, but then you’d regret it.
MeL - I need to smell me some of that Avon perfume! Re: smelling my hair - if you ask me, I will let you.
Mannyed - Can you see a bunch of coffee cup car fresheners hanging from mirrors?
Belinda Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 5:12 pm
I can’t do the heavy scents at all. Has to be Chanel No. 5 cologne spray (something about the alcohol base makes it lighter and more powdery) for me. Unfortunately, I’m married to a Guy Who Likes Smelly Stuff. He wants everything perfumed, right down to the laundry detergent. Ugh.
I do enjoy the scent of clean, fragrant hair, though. It’s just enough scent to not be overpowering.
The way I know it’s you calling on the phone is the ghostly aura of mocha latte that fills the air right before the first ring.
Oh, and Alex also says “LauREN” like that. It used to drive me crazy! And then one time we watched an interview with Ralph Lauren himself, in which he pronounced the name “Lauren” several times (emphasis on the LAU part, as I pronounce it), and then afterward, talking about it, Alex was STILL saying “LauREN.” I asked him, “Do you think the man does not know how to pronounce HIS OWN NAME?” and he answered, “Oh, he doesn’t know.” There’s no winning with my husband.
Tom Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 6:02 pm
Watermelon. My little girl’s favorite.
EricAtRandom Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:07 pm
Of course you know that smell is the sense most closely tied to memory! Should you need to go back to the DMV, put that same stuff in your hair. That lady will suddenly be your best friend all over again!
On my trips to the DMV, the ladies there seemed to have no concept of glamour products. Rather “down-to-basics” bunch, as I remember. I was just glad to accept the belief that they’d probably showered recently!
On a survey, I answered the “perfume you love to smell on a woman” question with “Gummi Bears, if it existed” (nothing better than the smell of a freshly opened bag of gummis!). Sure enough, a year or so later, some cosmetics company put one out! How funny! I need to start patenting these ideas.
colleengirl Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:14 pm
I didn’t know. But Smelly in a good way.
RW Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 7:38 pm
Napalm! I take napalm! Hah! Ready!?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning…
Geez how could you guys resist!?
PointlessBallyhoo Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 8:01 pm
You are just too much! I mean that in the most wonderful way possible.
Elizabeth Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 9:22 pm
I have been searching for just the right perfume for years. I used to like Estee Lauder’s Beautiful, but now it smells too heavy. I love the B&BW Warm Vanilla Sugar, but the Body Splash doesn’t last very long.
Another scent I really like is sold at Victoria’s Secret of all places, it’s called “dream angels heavenly”. They say it’s America’s #1 fragrance whatever that means.
You won’t think it’s weird if I lean over and smell your hair at BlogHer, right?
Belinda Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 11:37 pm
You might be the first person to have elicited a comment from The Husband. See? Your power, it is awesome.
QofS Said,
July 20, 2006 @ 11:48 pm
What the hell comment am I? 37? 38?
Natalie Said,
July 21, 2006 @ 9:55 pm
I have a signature scent: patchouli. This is one of those essence oils that is actually in almost every perfume (no one really knows that) and on its own, smells quite strong. I use it carefully as it is one of those scents you either love or hate. There is no inbetween. I mix it with all kinds of stuff and many people have no idea it is patchouli. It smells really good on me. AND… hair products, you know, we’ve discussed this… VERY important!
Last thought:
hmmm… I had a thought of “Scratch n’ Sniff Kelly” and decided to stop right there….
ROFL
Natalie
aak Said,
July 22, 2006 @ 3:02 am
Woah…slow down one sec… how in God’s great earth are you LEGALLY blind and getting your DRIVING LICENSE?
I am confused.
I like yummy smells.
aak
Mocha Said,
July 22, 2006 @ 5:19 am
RW - I KNEW what was coming! You are a sick, twisted man. I like that about you.
Natalie - A Scratch n’ Sniff Kelly could produce two results: a yummy delicious coffee smell or boob sweat smell. It’s a gamble.
aak - Legally blind means I am not allowed by law to drive without my glasses. I won’t even try it since I can’t even see the alarm clock next to my bed without squinting and leaning over very far.
Erica Said,
July 23, 2006 @ 8:07 pm
“We’ve already moved way beyond “What’s Appropriate At The DMV.” — Bwahaha!
Steve Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:24 am
Laughed. My. Ass. Off!
carolyn Said,
August 2, 2006 @ 12:44 pm
i know i’m so late on this comment, but i just had to chime in. i LOVE confixor.
love your stuff, mocha. ever since you responded to my little intro post on blogher. aw… sniff sniff.
Linda Said,
August 23, 2006 @ 10:35 pm
to nurse Pam,
did you know some Hawaiian products can be purchased online? Just look on the bottles of great Hawaiian body lotions that you have, to see if they have a website. I know they smell so good! My favorite is Plumeria.