Not to be confused with Sniglets and, I’m showing a little bit of my age here which, you know, is fine and all because I’m the only 35-year-old I know with a 20-year-old kid, but I miss Not Necessarily The News.
I liked that better than SNL when I was growing up and I’m not sure I was supposed to be watching it. Just like all things on HBO in the 80s. However, some really good movies came out during that time so I don’t regret it. Like Three O’Clock High. Does anyone else know this movie?
Sniglets have kind of been replaced by Urban Dictionary.com where, by the way, I have learned all kinds of very bad stuff.
Case in point:
Me: (reading something online at the table across from Mallory) Hey, this would be really funny if I understood everything.
Mallory: (completely disinterested in me and completely interested in her bowl of cereal) Oh, yeah. Like what?
Me: Like, I think I need to know what a Dirty Sanchez is.
Mallory: MA! STOP! NO! GAAAHHHHHHHHH. (her tongue is hanging out by the end of this word/sound/facial grimace)
Me: Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll look it up.
Mallory: (stops eating her cereal and looks at me in disgust) You DON’T want to know.
I hate it when my 20 year old is right. I did NOT want to know. And now I do. And now I won’t be able to order the sanchez deluxe at my favorite Mexican restaurant.
However, the best sniglet I can recall is the schwiggle which was defined as “The amusing rotation of one’s bottom while sharpening a pencil.” It was fruitless to get my 11 year old to understand this one as he’s grown up in a world with only electric pencil sharpeners.
You know what I think? I think that just now, when you read that, you stood up out of your chair and made that movement. Didn’t you?
Some snippets from this weekend:
A voice mail: “It’s Becky. I’m only telling you this because I know if I don’t you’ll give me CRAP: I made chocolate chip cookies. Bye.”
A bit of advice from the husband when I lamented all this working out and not losing a single ounce of weight from it: “You’re toning. That’s good for you. Your body will start to lose pretty soon. I learned that from Celebrity Fit Club.” This was NOT related in any way to the above comment. I didn’t go over her house and snarf those cookies until AFTER this.
A friend let me drive her Jaguar and as I was moving the steering column up, I snapped off some button. Later, to Ken, I said in one complete breath in my rapid-fire speaking: “Dear sweet Jesus! I was in that car a full fucking 20 seconds and I broke it! I broke a Jaguar! Why do people let me drive their Jaguars?”
To make me feel better about the issue of exercise and not losing weight, Mason chimed in: “Mom. Ok, turn to the side. OH MY GOSH! I CAN’T EVEN SEE YOU. You’re getting so thin I think you’d be really good at hide-and-seek.”
After attending a wedding reception Ken and I discussed co-workers: “You realize that every time we get together and have drinks with them that so-and-so takes off their pants and we’re treated to a fine piece of ass, right?”
This is normal snippet material for everyone, right? Tell me that my snippets are traditional and that I lead a completely conventional life.
Right after you stop doing that schwiggle.
July 24, 2006 @ 5:48 am | Filed under Everyday Mundane | Permalink |
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 6:20 am
1) I remember “Three O’Clock High” too.
2) The first time somebody told me what a Dirty Sanchez was I laughed so hard I cried.
Chase Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 6:49 am
I didn’t stand up, but I totally did the schwiggle in my computer chair as soon as I read it. I even made the pencil-sharpening motion with my hands. *blush*
Fat Chick Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 7:00 am
My boyfriend successfully ripped holes in two different pairs of shorts in the ’seat’ area in the past four days. He’s feeling a little bad about himself right now. I guess it would be wrong to mention my broken dining room chair he was sitting in that just ‘happened’ to break. lol
~ Fat Chick
NursePam Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 7:17 am
I think, perhaps, that Mason has inherited his mom’s wise ass POV ;^) It always works better when cloaked in baby faced innocence.
Oh yeah. You lead a completely conventional life. But your sense of humor is twisted. That’s probably due to all of those hours spent in the company of children.
Beth Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 7:21 am
Ooh, those are totally traditional snipets, I hear them all the time.
My step-mom was so skinny when she first came into our lives that I used to say what Mason said to you all the time. That or “You better put rocks in your pocket or you will blow away”.
Ps. I have no idea what a dirty sanchez is…I think I live in a bubble. haha.
Jeff Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 7:41 am
Great - thanks to you I had to Google dirty sanchez.
Ummm - yeah, no thanks…
VENTL8R Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 8:27 am
UGH!! MEN ARE PIGS!! A dirty sanchez is beyond toilet humor!!!
One of my favorite sniglets (Thank you Rich Hall!) is Caltitude - how high a cat can raise its butt when being scratched at the base of the tail.
Tom Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:00 am
I remember “Three O’Clock High.” I remember Miss Farmer was hot! I think she had blue eyes.
It was “cool” when she comes in and kisses Jerry in front of everyone, and the gossip that followed was great.
Just like when I was in school!
Steve Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:13 am
Kelly,
That Mason kid is one s-m-o-o-t-h talkin’, silver-tongued lil devil, ain’t he?
He’s gonna do REALLY well with the ladies…(problee already IS doing really well…)
Loved your recent post over at the OTHER place, BTW… Too funny. Kind brought to mind the recent string of PC vs Mac commericials currently being shown on the TV.
~(:=0)
babyoog Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:14 am
Still schwiggling.
Ami Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:34 am
I wish my weekends (and my entire life, really) was nearly as amusing as yours! You make me laugh on even the worst of days.
Dana Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:52 am
When I learned what the DS was I threw up. Literally. I was pregnant, someone at work was laughing about it. I stupidly asked what it was and then I proceeded the ladies room to vomit. It could have been morning sickness, but I made damn sure the culprit thought he made me vomit. I’m cruel. what can i say???
And the Jag thing…..oy girl…if I had a jag I’d let you drive it no matter what. =)
QofS Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 9:54 am
Dirty Sanchez and Upper Deckers!
Sarah - should we upper deck at blogher?
Mocha Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:15 am
Sarah - I didn’t laugh so much as force my daughter to stop eating her meal and spend the rest of the day asking WTF?
Chase - Does it work as well while sitting down? Can that also be classified as the Pee-Pee Dance? Of all the people that would do it, I knew you’d be one.
Fat Chick - My clothes are fitting better. Just doing some weight distribution I guess.
Pam - YES! I can blame it on the CHILDREN. Why didn’t I think of that?
Beth - Honey. Sweetie. Darlin’. Don’t look it up. Stay in that bubble.
Jeff - Honey. Sweetie. Darlin’. I’m sorry.
VENTL8R - I should have asked everyone to write their favorite sniglet. Yours was great!
Tom - Best line during that was when he lights a cigarette and sneers, “It was a good read.” Popular quote in this house, btw.
Steve - Mason is, of course, totally oblivious to the opposite sex. He’s too busy being a boy in a grown man’s body. Like his father.
babyoog - Do you know that LL Cool J song that keeps repeating “You’re jiggling, baby. Go ‘head, baby.” ? Now I’m singing, “You’re schwiggling, baby.”
Ami - Weekends are always fun when people drop their pants. I’m just never one of them.
Dana - Well, I did fix it and stick it back on, but I’m a really good driver. Seriously. I’d be careful. Sorry about the DS, but I’m glad you exacted revenge.
QofS - All I can say is that I find an Upper Decker in my room, I’m kicking ass first and taking names later. Unless, you wanted to do it someone else. Then, I’ll take pictures.
Della Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:21 am
ACK!!!! Blast my curiosity!! I did not know what a dirty sanchez was…I have been content to NOT know, not knowing I didn’t know! Then read this…and I’m all “no, really, I want to know…really!” and no, I didn’t….drat…now I know…and I’ll always know..
DavidShag Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:22 am
I had never heard of the term “Dirty Sanchez” until last week (and I didn’t know till now what it was) - then you came up with it - sounds like one of those ideas whose time has come. Thank goodness I still have something to look forward to in this life…
T. Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:46 am
Sniglets! I didn’t ever see the show, but I had the books next to my toilet for years while I was growing up, so I had some serious time to study my Sniglet lexicon.
My favorites were “Cheeriomagnetism–How the five or six remaining cheerios floating in your milk seem to cling together for dear life” or something to that effect, and “Caltitude–The inevitable rising of a cat’s rear end when you stroke its back.” These are not exact definitions; I’m merely relying on memory here.
Natalie Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:51 am
The most amazing thing about this post is that it was posted at 5:48 AM. AfrickenM!
Wow. Do you wake up funny or is there something in that thar coffee of your’n?
Natalie
PS. All of the above snippets sound perfectly reasonable to me but then… you pretty much know how I’m livin’. lol C’est la vie!
EricAtRandom Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 11:12 am
My favorite sniglet is furbling. That’s when you wind up and down between those queue-line things at the bank to get to the teller even though there’s no one in line.
As for the Dirty Sanchez, I am going to engage the protective bubble of sanity and state that it is purely fictitious. Nope… no need disputing it. And if you show me a picture, I’m going to say it’s faked (Hershey or chocolate mousse or PhotoShop or SOMETHING!).
Earl the squirrel Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 12:40 pm
I loved the snigglet deals….can’t remember any of course at the moment……but i’m sure I will the second I get done with this comment.
Jess~sapientia2010 Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 2:45 pm
I so love “Three O’Clock High”. In fact its still in our DVR! As for the dirty sanchez thing I had to look it up as well. I wonder statistically how many times those evil little words were looked up because of this blog entry. I was nauseated not more than a week ago when I had to google feltching. Don’t do it, seriously, yuck!
Shash Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 3:00 pm
Sigh… I miss Not Necessarily the News too…
I saw Stewart Pankin in something recently and was shocked at how gaunt he looked. I used to have the book of Sniglets somewhere. I hope I didn’t sell it or something.
Shash
Elizabeth Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 3:53 pm
Ok, it is totally NOT COOL to drop a “Dirty Sanchez…wtf does it mean” comment and not leave the link so that others who aren’t enlightened either can look it up! Who cares if I have Google at my fingertips! I didn’t want to type out more characters. *whew* Ok, I’m done.
~~After Googling Dirty Sanchez~~
Oh. My. Lord. That’s just not right.
mamatulip Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 5:26 pm
Sniglets, schwiggles and Dirty Sanchezes. I’m dying here.
Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.
Beth Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 6:22 pm
I have the bubble and I will never ever be the same again.
sigh. However, do you know what a “Hot Lunch”? is….
because not only did I learn what Dirty Sanchez meant but I got a WHOLE EDUCATION! You should be proud…you educated me.
Tom Stormcrowe Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 7:47 pm
Kelly, this is just for you! I know it’s off topic, but it fit’s you to a T!!!!
Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
Aristotle
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist
kate5kiwis Said,
July 24, 2006 @ 10:12 pm
well, my confession is that i was reading so fast i thought you said *singlet* and it took me until the fourth *sniglet* to realise you hadn’t done a typo. and yuk, i had to look up the DS too and i hope you don’t do that at blogher, no matter how many mojitos you drink..
Belinda Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 1:46 am
Nope. Takes more than that to get me up off MY behind.
MeL Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 4:47 am
Okay, I knew what a DS is, and yet somehow I was still compelled to see if… and yup, it sure does… has its own Wiki entry. I just fell in love with wikipedia all over again…
Oh, and don’t forget “Sashimi”: The shimmy a woman does to get into a dress she has pulled on over her head. (You’re doing it right now, aren’t you.)
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 4:50 am
I have no idea what a “Dirty Sanchez” or “Upper Decker” is. I think I’ll resist the urge to Google them…
I’m just amazed that everybody’s asking about sniglets, schwiggles, and such when a phrase like “After attending a wedding reception Ken and I discussed co-workers: ‘You realize that every time we get together and have drinks with them that so-and-so takes off their pants and we’re treated to a fine piece of ass, right?’” is hanging in the air.
*pause for dramatic effect*
Okay, explain how co-workers dropping their pants comes up in conversation after a wedding. Or, explain how co-workers dropping trow becomes casual conversation - does this happen a lot with teachers? ‘Cause I’m thinking I picked the wrong profession. And most of all, inquiring minds want to know…please, describe the ass. Feel free to use all the Romance novel language you want…
*waiting…*
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 4:59 am
Oh, and my mom agrees with you. She says I did too much navel gazing and not enough telling off of our femme fatale wannabe.
*insert eye roll here*
Oh great. Now there’s two of you.
Mocha Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 5:27 am
Eric - Furbling? HILARIOUS. However, I refuse to do it and with long legs I just start stepping over them.
Jess - You’re KIDDING. In your DVR? Right now? Weird.
Elizabeth - I know. That was wrong of me not to leave the link, but I figured if anyone REALLY wanted to know (and those of you with the self control NOT to look are my new heroes) they would find it. It was wrong. I’m sorry. *shuffling feet and staring at the floor
Kate - I’m guessing that a “singlet” to you is an undershirt, right?
Belinda - Please don’t make me think up ways to get you off your behind. The thought will consume me. You know what? How about dancing to “Apache” or “I Like To Move It”? Because I was supposed to do that dance for you in San Jose….
MeL - You caught me. I did the “sashimi” just now.
Libby - I thought that was odd, too! But I was purposefully ambiguous as to WHOSE wedding we went to (be it mine or Ken’s co-workers) so now you have to wonder if it was teachers or people who work at the hospital. Have you ever partied with doctors? Whew. They’re C-R-A-Z-Y.
“It was an ass that held great beauty, smooth and perfect in shape. It belied all the effects of a hard life, but gave us all newfound respect and we sat in a puddle of our own drool just to gaze upon such a butt.”
Now. You must be left wondering if it is a male or female ass. HA.
Pant-dropping is far more casual conversation than I care to admit. Why do people always want to discuss those things with me?
Mocha Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 5:28 am
Oh, Nat! My clock is all messed up so this “time” is always wrong. But I do get up by 5:30 and start posting by 6:30. Don’t blame the coffee. The coffee is innocent.
krista Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 5:34 am
hey, can you make an about me page. I am intensely fascinated that you had a baby at 15. I had my first at 20 and I thought I was a young mom- Wow. Awesome.
So, do you like- love the show the Gilmore Girls. You are totally a Lorelai!
Mocha Momma Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 5:48 am
Krista - Yes. For you, I will. I’ve been working on it and have neglected to finish one. And yes, I LOVE The Gilmore Girls! I keep wondering who is stealing my life and putting it on television without giving me proper credit. In honor of the show, I named my iPod Lorelei.
Avitable Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 7:30 am
Wow, I haven’t thought about Sniglets in 10 years or so. I loved “Not Necessarily the News”!
Breezy Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 10:44 am
Similiar conversation with my mom:
Mom: What are you laughing at?
Me & Bro: Nothing
Mom: What, is it me? Are you laughing at me?
Me: *Bro said ‘dirty sanchez’
Mom: What does that mean?
Me & Bro: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..nothing.
Mom: No really…
Me: You don’t wanna know
Mom: Oh come on….
**Bro tells her**
Mom: That is disgus…where did you….I didn’t raise you…are you serious?….did you make that..???….
*Try explaining ‘tea-bagging’ to my mom who drinks GALLONS of ice-tea a day. Laughing just thinking about it….
Dana Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 1:44 pm
Wait! What is an Upper Decker? Why do I not know about that?
Elizabeth @T4Five Said,
July 25, 2006 @ 8:45 pm
Oh man, I had forgotten about Sniglets! I REALLY like this one, and in fact had a conversation with one today:
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
And Breezy? I also once had to restrain myself from telling my MIL what “tea-bagging” was. I did, however, have to tell her what a pole-smoker was, thanks to an episode of “The Family Guy”.
Chantele Said,
July 26, 2006 @ 11:04 am
Ok, I know I’m really late on commenting here, but it took me this long to resist the urge to Google “dirty sanchez”! I think I’m finally past the urge now. Maybe. As long as I don’t re-read your post!
jeankfl Said,
July 27, 2006 @ 1:06 am
Well, I always learn such lofty information by coming to Mocha’s site!!! Tea-bagging, dirty Sanchez’s, all these things add soooooooo much to my peace of mind!! YUUUUUKKK I must learn to resist the urge to Google!!!
I loved Sniglets.. Haven’t been around lately…must not stay away so long…the subject matter gets so interesting…lol.. And I learn so much! I can tell you’re an educator…*grin*.. I wish I was going to BlogHer…and no, I didn’t get up and do the “schwiggle”…I just did it in my chair!!!
You make me laugh entirely too much (is that possible?) Love it!!!!
Jeankfl
R Burgess Said,
July 28, 2006 @ 3:47 am
Have I just led a sheltered life? I swear I don’t know what any of you people are talking about! Except for the Sniglets . . . I remember those! Well, I remember they EXIST, don’t ask me to remember any actual WORDS!
I am trying to decide if I should be “with it” and “cool” and Google some stuff, or stay the dork I truly am. I guess if I still say “with it” and “cool” I really am a dork! Oh, and do people still say “dork”? I must be completely ignorant!
Bipolar mania has kicked in–I am really posting at 5:46 in the AM, and I haven’t slept yet. Too much worrying. So sleepy . . . So stupid . . . Getting goofier . . . Spelling checker in the brain is failing . . .
I must come back and read when I’ve gotten an 8 hour night sometime in about 4 months.
Missed reading here . . .
R