Rules. They Are Stupid.
Must… stop… BREAKING THEM.
You will think I’m kidding, but I am not.
When I was asked to attend a conference here at the Hamburger University at McDonald’s Office Campus (special coffee everywhere) I was apprehensive to say the least. I’m staying at ANOTHER Hyatt after checking out of a Hyatt on Monday morning. It is, surprisingly, quite a nice little conference center. I was thinking it would be a good place to do the BlogHer next year and talked to my sister, Tracy, who is an event planner.
Me: Hey, you plan stuff like this, don’t you? We should have BlogHer ’07 here.
Her: Yeah, I plan stuff like that. Never at Hamburger U, but hey, why not? Though, you may want to consider the anger you will incite, inviting folks to your big dork-tacular conference in the city, only to find themselves in the burbs at the all-beef patty institution of fryer education. Vegetarians may go batshit on you – exercise caution, sweet sister.
On second thought, maybe not. Not just because of her reasons, but simply due to the fact that I got a dress code requirement sheet from them.
Ladies: Blouses or sweaters, skirts and slacks, hosiery.
First of all, no one says “blouse” or “slacks” or even, God help me, “hosiery” anymore. We say “shirts”, “pants”, and “hose”. For fun, when we say “hose” we giggle a bit and think of pimps and hoes and there are all kinds of jokes involved. My inappropriate behavior knows no bounds.
Not only did I refuse to bring a blouse, but I wore a suit today with no hose. And I even brought some sassy sandals (not unlike these cuties I wore and found on someone else’s flickr site the other day) and am going extra wild with the curly hair.
I’m such a rebel. No one will ever hire me for a principal job when I’m done with these classes.
Freaky Shit. It Is… Well, Freaky!
I also spoke to my other sister, Erin, to tell her about someone I just “found” on the internet following an introduction to the intensely sincere George Kelly whom I met last week.
That reminds me: Don’t miss this opportunity to go read and nominate and vote for some really good Black blogs. If you need a really good blogroll, check this one out from George. He will shake your hand and look at you with an intensity unlike any other. The very weird part about the Digital Ethnorati connections I have made since returning home is that George gave the names of a few blogs with which I am familiar and one which I’ve only heard of by name but decided to look up anyway. We even joked during our Birds of a Feather soiree that we are all only a few degrees from one another. George mentioned several blogs he enjoys and I took copious notes on his descriptions and looked up one of them, Uppity Negro, just yesterday.
What a surprise, then, to find that the late Aaron Hawkins of UppityNegro and I went to junior high together. What a shock to find out about his death in this eerie manner.
Daughters. They Are Spoiled.
There is a new IKEA in the Chicagoland area so natch, we had to stop there. Mallory needs some things for her first new apartment and has a list, but I couldn’t get everything on it for lack of car space. I will be encouraging some spoiling of that child when I take home this thing that she lusted after online last week. My baby is going back to college for her junior year and I think her new apartment will look great with that addition.
MSN. It Is Annoying.
Trying to comment on their Spaces blogs has done me in. I can’t sign in anymore, it takes forever, and it’s a right pain in the ass. I’m not neglecting reading those blogs, I just don’t have the time to wait around for it to behave itself. WordPress, which I use, isn’t perfect, but if you ever have trouble leaving a comment you can always register with WordPress (it sends me a message, too, about who signs up) to make it easier.
The Conference. It’s Nearly Over.
I get to drive home today and sleep in my OWN bed with my OWN husband and pet my OWN dog (the hotel dog? It’s ceramic. Pretty, but ceramic.) and snuggle/giggle/lecture my OWN kids and contemplate the state of my OWN messy house.
I can’t wait. There aren’t any more cells rubbing together in my brain anymore.
The Brain. It Has Shut Down.
Just in time for my final week of summer vacation.
Have a great day!
HUGS,
Jill
A new IKEA!!!!!! I am salivating right now. Where is it?! The one is Shaumburg was an hour and a half drive from my house, but we would make it an outing once a year or so. Is the new one closer to Indiana? Please, Please tell me it is! I would be so there.
Jill – Ack! I tried! Again, with the loooong time loading. Stupid crap.
InTheFastLane – Bolingbrook, girlfriend. It’s closer to my house, too, but it’s not as big as the Schaumburg one. Still, it’s IKEA. Terrible construction surrounding it right now, so check online for alternate routes.
Hey! My girlfriends and I make a yearly trek as well, so I know what you mean.
MSN has gone whacko. It’s not just you. I haven’t been able to access my own space for three days. I can’t edit, add, or change my lists (and the lists to the right are totally gone). Nor can I add comments to any spaces. And lastly, the space itself is funky.
I thought of you when all this happened, since I know of your annoyance for Spaces.
I have finally been able to get back into my Space after a week since I went live. If you ever do get a chance to swing by, be sure to oogle the painting of Jenna that Ron did! He is so FAB!!
I also have a caption contest going on every Friday….;-)
I haven’t been having any luck with MSN either. Terribly bummed because I try to read The Barnyard every day and sometimes it won’t let me comment. Yesterday it let me comment but wouldn’t take my name
(
Puhlease no Chicago suburbs with MickeyD. I want Sex..I mean BlogHer in the City.
Lucky Mallory. But then, she is the princess of almost everything.
The story on Aaron was very sad. I cannot bear it when brilliant young people lose their way and their hope in life.
Only one more week of vacation? Nooooooo! Say it isn’t so! Make sure you give yourself ample time to just be a slug ;^)
Hosiery, pantyhose, feh. GONCH TUBES.
Wherever BH/07 gets hosted, it better be somewhere with a lax dress code. Cuz I’m slappin’ pasties on and I’ll be looking for you. I’m not missing out next time!
PB – That’s what I mean. That whole icky, funky look.
VENTL8R – I tried just now. I really did! I can’t get into it and I have no idea where your pictures are.
Pam – You, too? I’m missing The Barnyard as well. Oh, will you be here for that sex? I mean blog stuff? Just wonderin’. Mallory is, like her mother, so self-sufficient that she barely accepts anything from me. Well, lip gloss, sure. Did you go through and read about Aaron? *big, loud, painful sigh inserted here.
HBM – First: “gonch tubes”? You crack my shit up, girl. Next: Don’t act like those pasties wouldn’t make it out whether you met me or not. But I won’t miss it EITHER. Oh, love your little abbreviation. BH/07. Cool. Just like you to rock the newest lingo.
Slacks, blouses and hosiery…for cryin’ out loud. That conjures up images of a bad 80′s flick.Good for you for being a rebel. I’m sure you looked smashing.
I’ve had it with with MSN too. Whenever you’ve got time to guide me through the steps of freeing myself from Spaces, let me know. I’m ready.
Ahhhh thank you for the black blogs blogroll. I met George too, but we only spoke for 30 seconds. But he was everywhere I was, it was freaky, but a very nice guy.
NO one wears hose anymore. NO ONE. Unless you are over 60 and not with it. If you wear hose, ever. I shall disown you.
I live in a world of my own I suppose. I still love hose. Donna Karan makes some that are so sexxxxyyy…
Hugs to you after a long week, thanks for your comments.
Kelly, for what it’s worth, I’m running my blog mirrored on three servers, MSN, Blogspot ( http://theamazingshrinkingman.blogspot.com ) and Livejournal ( http://tomstormcrowe.livejournal.com/ ). Feel free to comment wherever it’s easiest for you! The only reason I haven’t dumped MSN is because of the high profile I have there.
Those are the weirdest rules! See, america IS freaky.
I’ve never been in an Ikea. Drove past the Schaumburg one several times, but never went in. This is partially due to my credit card. It likes to buy things that I will remorse about later. And the Audrey picture? BEAUTIFUL.
So glad you’re enjoying your vacation. But I can’t believe only a week left??? You have to go to work already?
Per Leahpeah’s Blogger Network project, I just realized that you and I live in the same city. I adore blogger meet ups – let me know if you would be interested in lunch sometime.
No one I know says “pantyhose” and if they do I laugh because those are two very funny words put together to make an even funnier word. Maybe it’s just a Canadian thing but here we usually refer to them as “nylons” and although it doesn’t make me giggle like a 9-year old girl it does allow me to finish my sentence without snorting. Almost always a perk.
You are just so slacksidasical, not wearing your blouses and hosiery. (I have an image of a shirt with puffy sleeves and that bow knot thing in front.)
Did you knock them dead with your bad self?
I am distraught that MSN is giving you a hard time, again! I need my comments, damn them, damn them to Texas! (just kidding Texans)
You’re right. The Aaron Hawkins thing was shocking, sad, and for you, errily coincidental. You just never know how much pain someone is in…
Add me to the George Kelly fan club too. What a generous spirit. You too, Mocha. Thanks for the post love.
I am straight-up horrified by a dress code that includes the word “hosiery.” Is it a law office? A bank? A nunnery? I’m cringing on the inside–good for you rockin’ the wild hair.
MSN is sucking these days–might be just what I need to strike out on my own.
KM
DRESS CODE?!?! D R E S S C O D E??!! good god, iw ould have fucking vomited all over the paper and then worn all the opposite. I HATE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO. issues anyone? lol
I haven’t worn “hosiery” since I was 15 yrs old. My grandmother used to drag us to church (and with teens you know that is literal since Sundays are made for sleeping) Of course, she wouldn’t allow us to leave the house without hosiery and a slip.
I too gave up MSN for various reasons…in fact I kind of gave up all together until recently
Aloha,
Inquiring
You know what my least favorite words are? The words that make me cringe when I hear them? “Blouse.” “Slacks”. Oh, and when fashion magazines refer to people’s eyelashes as just “lashes”.
I will NOT go to Blogher ’07 if it is held at Hamburger University! They would insist on serving us their special Premium Roast tastes like ass Coffee! NOOOOO!
Noooo! Not the McDonald’s Campus! First, crazy, stoopid dress rules. Second, not close enough to fun downtown Chicago things. Third, not really accessible to public transportation except bus and if I go to Blogher next year, I don’t want to drive my butt out there but would rather take the El downtown.
Oh, and you’re a nice Mom.
And LOVE Ikea. So dangerous…
Hey Lady, you rang? Or rather, from your other blog I see that you tried to ring but the wonderful new MSN system got in the way. If you’ve read my blog you already know that I’m less than thrilled with them. Actually, in the words of that great Mind among Men Jayne Cobb, they are “startin’ to damage my calm.” But at least you’re not alone, it’s driving my Library Chick friends nuts that they can’t comment. Sending me an email is probably a more reliable way of getting in touch with me until our mighty overloads get their heads out of their…well, you know…or until I set up a new home. I think, at this rate, even the Attila the Hun blog-hosting service would look good…and I think I’m may be at the head of the horde heading over. (Try saying THAT three times fast.)
Hamburger Campus with “ass coffee?” Please tell me you were packing…coffee beans that is. Oh and I LOVE the wall art (“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” – what a great movie).
There are SO many great blogs on MSN, and I, too, am frustrated to the point of absolute distraction by how exclusive and non-interactive they are! So while I do go and read Ami, Caffeinated Librarian, Aafrica, and MANY others, I cannot comment or participate in their blogs in any way. Yes, I have an MSN passport. YES, I sign in with it. And NO, it just doesn’t work. I know that Tom Stormcrowe will respond that it’s just a problem on my end, but I simply don’t buy that, because when I look at the comments on MSN Spaces blogs, they are almost ALL left by…other MSN Spaces users!
PLEASE, MSN users: Come on out into the light! Use TypePad, WordPress, Blogger, Blogsome, WHATEVER, but get out here where we can ALL play!
And to all the wonderful MSN Spacers who leave comments on my blog, please know that I DO read you, and would LOVE to comment on your sites…but I can’t, except once in a blue moon.
Yeah, MSN blows. I am not freaking bothering with the whole Passport thing. I have an old Hotmail address, I can’t remember the password and I really don’t give enough of a shit to mess with it. I may be missing the best blogs on the planet, but so be it. Sucks, because I know I’m missing those Be Jane beyotches and they’re so, like, smart and stuff.
“The Hordes” have begun marching…http://caffeinatedlibrarian.blogspot.com/
Enjoy your final week of peace!
Hey there! Could you do me a big favor? I have the test run of my website up today and I was wondering if you could go click around on it and see if it works ok for you or if you can catch a link or something I might have missed. (some of the pages aren’t all the way complete.) I also would like to know what you think?
hosiery? blouses? good lord!
ikea (droool). just went to the new one near here and dropped $500 (be warned). it was all for my son, of course. mainly. yeah. mainly.
plus side–you get shitloads for $500
Golly, I’m tired just from reading that.
OH, and Mochaaaaaahh…from my blogroll, go and check out “Misha, Barefoot and Real.” I have loved her pretty much from my blogging get-go. She absolutely does NOT blog for any reason other than herself, and as a result, it’s often beautiful stuff to read. She’s my “four-B”: Black Beautiful Bipolar Blogger.
Oh, gosh, I remember “stockings” with girdles or garters and those nasty hooks. Yes, I’m old. I remember getting my first pair of sheer pantyhose in the 7th grade. Awesome! By noon I would have these horrible wrinkly gathers around my ankles because the original pantyhose would stretch out something-fierce as the day wore on. I’d go to the bathroom to keep pulling them smooth. I could either have the wrinkled excess around my ankles or tie the wasteband of the hose around my neck from pulling them up so much! Of course, Mother only let us wear them to school on “picture day” or some other special occasion as the hose cost {gasp} over $1 a pair!!!
don’t throw anything at me…..were there always coffee beans down the side of your page?
How did I miss that BOF session? I would have loved to sit in on that. Dang.
You are so right about George. “Intense” doesn’t even begin to describe it.
It was so fun to meet you at the non-special coffee conference. How it is possible a beautiful young gal like yourself has kids in college, I can only say, God I started late.
I’m so glad I found you here. Loved this post.
I went to this school a few years ago that had this important thing in it’s dress code
“ladies may not be barelegged at any time while in public”
Crazyness!
I did read about Aaron. It was terribly sad. He sounded to be such a wonderful and talented young man. It hurts my heart when I hear that young ones make this choice. The loss to the world is so much greater than they could imagine. *hugs*
p.s. You can have San Jose. But a chance to go to Chicago? Priceless.
‘Hose’ indeed! lmao, yes the jokes would be fast and furious…
but um, trying to stay focused on the intended meaning, haven’t they heard of summer? And people dropping because of triple digit temperatures? And they expect women to wear ‘hose?’ I’d be reaching for a hose to hose down with inside of an hour.
Given what’s happened after this blogher, Hamburger U might not be a great place to gather. But then… there will probably be bodies taken no matter what anyone does.
One more thing… if I ever use the word ‘blouse,’ add me to that body count.
Loved the shoes. Do you subscribe to my motto, “she who dies with the most shoes wins”? I figure I can’t afford couture, but shoes are pretty and make you feel pretty, too.
I can only comment here about every other time I attempt, but I figure the world doesn’t end without a statement from me, so I just come back and try again next time…
I totally hear ya on the msn thing, I can’t get into MY space unless IT feels like it and when IT doesn’t I have to use IE which is sloooower than slow!
It’s been awhile since I’ve visted, you’ve been busy!