Lazy ass? Yeah. I’m doing it again. Bullet points, baby!
But first! With the Two Words game? Remember that? While my intention was that you’d guess HOW my day was going based on the clue words “Full Moon” it never occurred to me that you would guess in the form of TWO WORDS.
Genius. Pure genius. You are a smart bunch, you know that?
Especially that guy in the back row. Yeah, you, buddy. Steve, is it? You have been sorely missed and I must say that while Malathion Man was upset that I used the term “metacognition” you should have been over at the Caffeinated Librarian’s place because Steve used “syllogistic contrapositive” in the comments. No shit. Dude is smart. AND he has a beautiful wife AND he named his car. It makes him cooler than you know.
I realize that my love affair with sticky notes (I would say Post It notes but y’all know what I’m talking about) is a bit out of control because I can’t bring myself to go into an office supply store and not buy any. Any size, any color, lined, sans lines… it’s a sickness. There have been times when I write myself a note and not having anything upon which to stick it, will simply place it on my shirt. Near my breast.
That reminds me of a funny thing Erma Bombeck said about that one time when going to a party and putting her name on one of those “Hello My Name Is” stickers and placing it over her left breast. She’d then wonder, “What should I name the other one?” Oh, that Erma. She was a card.
Geez, how old am I that I not only know Erma Bombeck but I’m quoting her and calling her a card? A card.
Do you see what happens when my sticky notes are out of order? I can’t focus. Can’t concentrate. Back to my notes.
Wait. Not the notes yet. First, the full moon.
There are some work days when I get to school and realize instantly how it will be depending on whether or not someone is in my parking space. Recently, it was someone with a “WWJD” sticker on their car. All I could think was, “You know what he’d do? He’d tell you to get out of my space, THAT’S WHAT HE’D DO.” But I try not to blaspheme on a regular basis. Working on that. Shit is hard.
And yes, my language here isn’t perfect. But guess what? Sometimes, a really bad word fits. Who was the comedian who said that thing about the f-word? “Fuck is just the best word. It’s got the ffffff and the uuuuuuu and the cccckkkkk.” Or something like that. Can’t remember his name but I sure found him funny.
So, here’s how the day went: lots of people absent (on a FRIDAY? TOTALLY FAKE GASP HERE WITH MY HANDS UP AT MY FACE AND MY MOUTH MAKING AN “O”) which means I had to go help out in the office, deal with tardy students, nasty attitude students, and woke-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-web adults. Then, there was attitude galore to deal with in a meeting followed by a litany of data that I’m supposed to help get put up in our building. The end of the day was the best with a faculty meeting on “Safety” because of all the school shootings and such but I ended up learning a lot more about gangs than I ever knew was out there. I’m thinking of hanging everything to the left side from now own. Those gangs have the BEST grafitti.
So, my sticky notes? Here they are:
- Some of the gang members in the video mentioned all the gang signs (it’s a really cool sign language, too! They need some credit for that!) and how they’re not supposed to write them down.
- Someone else mentioned that they sometimes DO write them down because they have some slower learners. (This is so sad. Most of them have some kind of learning disability. Yo! G Dubs! Here are those kids who got LEFT BEHIND. Just so you know.)
- It’s funny everytime they mention having “People” and “Folk” because… well…. “folk” without an S and sounding like “folks” sounds funny. Every time.
- I got really pissed when they mentioned their brotherhoods and the “unity, love, and loyalty” and people laughed. Even if it is their own definition, it is what it is. Maybe they didn’t have any love and loyalty anywhere else.
- Kids today make up their own gangs on a daily basis. DAILY. I learned about 4 of them here at my school during the faculty meeting.
Our safety officer showed us this video and then talked about it and answered some of our questions and while we were having this discussion on a Friday afternoon when the kids got out early for a 3-day weekend… there was a gang fight outside our school.
My last sticky note?
- Holy fuck.
October 9, 2006 @ 8:05 am | Filed under Sticky Notes | Permalink |
Chase Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 8:46 am
Dane Cook was the mind behind the ffffff and uuuuuuuuu and the ccccckkkk!!
*gleam* I love him.
Almost as much as I love my MochaMomma.
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 10:17 am
Yes, Steve did indeed use “syllogistic contrapositive” in a comment. I suppose it makes me an utter sports geek that I steamrolled right through his nifty vocabulary and went straight for his slight of the Hurricanes. (Steve, babe, DAH-ling - where’s the love for the Last Year’s Stanley Cup Champions?)
Oh, and Mocha (since this is, ya know, YOUR blog) - I’m sending you my favorite sticking note. Just one mind you, so don’t get to excited. But you’ll see why it’s my favorite when it gets there.
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 10:18 am
*sigh*
I spell check and I spell check and they STILL slip through.
-S. Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 10:28 am
I loved Erma Bombeck and have read and reread many of her books.
-S.
Maria Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 11:01 am
*sticky note for Kelly*
Eddie Izzard was also a fan of FUCK.
God, I love that man.
Erin Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 11:06 am
I used to read the Erma Bombeck books in the teachers lounge while I copied things for my mom at her school when I was a kid. I love her!
I need sticky notes beside my bed. I wake up in the morning remembering that I had a great idea for a blog post in the middle of the night but I never remember what that idea was. It’s infuriating!
Nora Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 11:35 am
That Malathion Man could turn out to be quite the superhero, supervillan? Smart too? Scary.
That little f word can be so satisfying to say, can’t it?
Erma Bombeck? Who’s that? JK, I really miss her, she was a card.
The sticky notes were funny and sad.
Nora
beth Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 1:59 pm
I agree with the last sticky note.
Holy Fuck about sums up my life right now.
I love the ‘f’ word a little too much and use it a little too much.
jen Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 2:35 pm
holy fuck - how is it that i have not found your gorgeous blog until now?
Steve Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 3:30 pm
Thanks for the shout, Kelly. You and CL both have such fun and provocative sites – usually conducive to comments. I’m having trouble today, though, since in one recondite corner of your post you called me smart. Rather than trying to live up to that label maybe I’ll focus on that “back row” status instead and go for smart-assed.
Looks like Mallory and I have something in common. We both got folk into Erma. My mom was a fan even in the early days when Erma was just a columnist in the local paper. From what I know, you’re not quite as old as my dear, decrepit mother, but when you used the word “card,” I wasn’t sure. You weren’t tempted to say “caution,” were you? Then I’d worry.
Actually, I like your anachronisms, Kelly. They’re part of your wonderfully variegated language – a truly diverse mix. For instance, rather than concluding in old fogey mode by coupling Holy with Toledo, Smokes, or Moley, you went straight for the young folk line. The variety does add spice!
Dana Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 3:59 pm
Oh my gosh. I had a comment in my brain and I forgot now what I was going to write.
I think something terrible has happened to me.
I’ll be back later, when I remember what I was going to say.
mizangie Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 8:12 pm
I likes me some Erma. Everytime life gives me lemons I make lemonade, thanks to ol’ Erma. I learned on my own that if you add tequila it REALLY helps.
Y’all are scaring me with all the big words! Would you please dumb down your blog so I can keep up? What the hell is syllogistic contrapositive? Please do not use words that George Bush wouldn’t know or Dan Quayle couldn’t spell.
Thanks!
Mocha Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 9:37 pm
Chase - Are you flirting with me? For shame. For shame.
CL - A new CD and a sticky note? Is it my birthday? YIPPEE.
S - Mine have fallen apart. You can pick up any one of her books, start anywhere, and get to laughing instantly. I really wanted to attend a Tupperware party or something when she was around.
Maria - Yes, but he uses it so pretty. It sounds like “fook”. As in “fooking ‘ell” and it doesn’t sound dirty. It sounds PRETTY.
Erin - Leave yourself a sticky note to leave some sticky notes by your bed. Now, where would you put that one,hmmmm?
Nora - Best we keep the big words from him then. He’ll become a Triple Threat.
Beth - Awwwwwww. Does someone need an encouraging sticky note? (Besides me?)
Jen - Holy fuck! I don’t know! Have you been under a rock? All I can say is that I am an acquired taste. So those who hate the many times I’ve written “fuck” today won’t be happy. But you can stay! Sit down! Kick up your feet!
Steve - Here’s the funny part about that anachronism: I could recall Erma’s name but not Dane Cook’s. And my teenager listens to him ALL. THE TIME. You would think I could do that, but noooooooo…. Chase had to come in here and remind me of that obvious point (THANKS, CHASE!). So it’s not only an anachronism. It’s ironic. Or is that an anachronism, too? Wow. Anachronism isn’t very fun to type.
Dana - Sticky notes, people! Sticky notes!
Mizangie - I would normally be able to explain a syllogistic contrapositive but I’ve already added tequila to that lemonade. I’ll try: it’s like logic derived from 2 different propositions. Seriously. If I try any harder I’ll hurt my OWN head.
Elizabeth Said,
October 9, 2006 @ 10:05 pm
When did making clubs when you were little turn into gangs? *sigh*
BTW…I’m in the middle of To Kill A Mockingbird now and am finding it every bit as good as you (and CL) said. I’m having a hard time putting it down…
katy Said,
October 10, 2006 @ 6:32 pm
Mocha–
HF? Was that because of the gang fight or just because of the day.
The f word is a good one–one of my favorites, actually.
I think any gang who takes care of business on school grounds is full of chickens. They know people are going to come running and try to bust things up.
KM