Mallory was home this weekend to work at a new job she got just in time for the holiday season Christmas. The weekend before we met her in the eastern part of Illinois for a wedding we attended where she was a bridesmaid. (The slide show can be seen here.) Each time, I’ve only spent a limited amount of time with her, but both of us will be done with our final classes on Thursday of this week and then we’re going to do some things together.
We will pick out a Christmas color for our toenail polish.
We will cook together in the one-ass kitchen and learn to make mojitos!
We will watch movies together.
She mentioned that it was time we re-watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer because it was full of racism and hatred and that it just wasn’t a simple movie about a deer. No way! It was despicable! Vile! Loathsome!
Me: Mallory, just what is it about Rudolph that has your panties in a wad? It’s a Christmas movie about a freaking reindeer.
Mallory: No, it’s not. Mason and I watched it this afternoon and did you realize the racism in that movie? I mean, Rudolph is an OUTCAST for the color of his nose. Everyone teases him. They are mean. They treat him like crap.
Me: Umm-hmm.
Mallory: AND! That movie teaches kids not to like gay people, mom! That’s terrible.
Me: Gay people? Well, I’m sorry…. who is gay in Rudolph again?
Mallory: It’s clear that it’s the dentist. Duh.
Me: Who is the dentist again?
Mallory: (Exhasperated) Hermey, mom. It’s Hermey. He’s gay and Rudolph is… what… black, I guess… and they are MISFITS. See? It’s an awful movie.
Me: Full of conspiracies, I see.
Mallory: YES. FINALLY. YOU GET ME.
We will lay off the mojito making until she is indoctrinated with more Christmas Hates Gays Who Are Dentists And Blacks Who Have Red Noses movies.
{ 22 comments }
Wow. That is some pretty intense analysis of a cartoon Christmas movie.
Hope you get that straightened out so you two can move on to the mojitos.
I say whip up those mojitos and discuss something even more controversial. Say, liquid v. powdered laundry detergent.
If you think about it though, she’s kinda got a point. I still love the corny little movie though. Have fun with the mojitos!! You could also discuss the life span of Twinkies (they do last an unusually long time!)
wow, you have some intense children, lady. i like your holiday plans, though. i think alcoholic-beverage-making should become a part of mine, too…
also, i’ve been told i’m a freak for the fact that i have, in fact, never seen this rudolph movie of which you speak. the clips i’ve seen have creeped me out enough to keep me away.
I want to see what you two come up with after a few mojitos.
Love ya!
make me a mojito.. now mocha dearie… my hubby and I both agree that you are GOREGOUS… will you make me a mojito?
Me and her would have a field day over Sleeping Beauty . . .
I watched Rudolph this weekend, and I had the same exact thoughts! It has some pretty potent themes–I mean, even SANTA doesn’t want anything to do with Rudolph because of his nose. But in the end, Santa realizes the error of his ways and the misfits all get homes. At least there’s a little change of heart…
(P.S. I love Mojitos! Gotta teach us all how to make them when you get it down.)
We watched it this weekend too, I commented several times about how mean Santa was, one of the first things he says to the new parents is how ugly their baby’s nose is… that’s just mean!
Kelly, I must admit that I have never heard an analysis of “Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer” quite like this one.
Brings a whole new perspective… Not exactly clear on what that perspecetive might be, but it’s DEFINITELY NEW!
~(:>)
That wedding looks like it was a total blast! It totally rocked out!
I have no idea what a mojito is. I need to get out more.
Great pictures, especially the ones of Mallory dancing with her father and brother. Beautiful.
My brother’s girlfriend makes a wicked mojito.
Brown sugar, mint leaves. Crush. Strawberries, lemon. Slice. Top glass with ice, white rum, soda water. Voila.
Hope you have a good Christmas.
Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing. You and Mallory know how to crack me up.
-sending pre-Christmas hugs and kisses your way- I miss my Mocha!
Wow, that’s deep!
I am glad you are back. I found your blog during the NaBloPoMo thing and I have to say that I got used to readinng you on a daily basis – it sort of spoiled me.
You are fun read!
I just looked at the photos from the wedding. They are awesome. Absolutely beautiful as always. Mallory makes me smile, and I start wishing for a daughter.
I think my ovaries are acting funny.
Interesting… what does she make of the Island of Misfit Toys?
(BEA-YOOO-TIFUL photos.)
Nice analysis. I kind of wondered about Hermey myself. He and David Spade remind me of each other. I’m done on Thursday, too! Bring on the Mojitos!
If Rudolph can fly, why doesn’t he fly away from the Bumble?
Melanie gets the first mojito.
Seeing how awesome of a relationship you have with your daughter makes me fear teenagehood less.
xo
Mallory and I are on the same page about Rudolph. A snippet of my conversation with C_ while watching Rudolph.
“So, the dentist is gay. Right?”
“Uh huh.”
“We talked about this last year, right?”
“Uh huh.”
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