There are a few people I’d take over my knee when they clearly should know better but don’t do better. Many to whom I’m referring are people in my own profession, teachers who have consistently let me down when it comes to helping my child succeed in school when they distinctly are asked to do so as a part of their craft. However, I have to remind myself that everyone isn’t me and that they have their own way of doing things. That’s fine, but when I’m advocating for my son on his behalf, which is MY job, and then they don’t? Well, those are the ones I want to spank.
In answer to Aimee’s question in the comments yesterday, I have to address this one simple fact: teachers are not allowed to diagnose a student with dyslexia. They can, however, suggest that a parent see their doctor who can refer them to specialists who can test them. The brain research on reversing dyslexia is astounding because there is a way to reverse it. It’s intense and requires a lot of work, but it is possible. My own school district doesn’t have a policy about paying for such testing, but we certainly aren’t culpable for proposing that a student get outside assistance.
As to the question about teachers being prepared to deal with learning disabilities outside the special education realm, I can only say that I, too, was unprepared and had to learn much on my own. While mine came in the form of marrying a man with ADHD and bearing two sons with it, it’s fair to say that no matter how the learning comes, the important thing is that it be learned. Recently, the newest buzzword in education is “RtI” (why they don’t capitalize the “t” is strange, but it’s R-T-I). “Response to Intervention” is a way for special educators to spearhead efforts to get students the help they need. Mostly, this addresses reading and you might want to read more about it here.
Another route is to have students tested in your school district for a label of “special ed” which many people take issue with, but that’s not ever been a problem for me. It didn’t work with Mason because he tested too high so we aimed to get him a 504 Plan and that failed miserably, but I take issue with his middle school for that. They were adamant that he could “just do it” if he wasn’t so “lazy” and “tried harder”.
Those are the most frustrating words for a parent to hear.
“He’s just lazy.”
It speaks volumes about the philosophy of education when the system (in this case, a team of teachers) blames the child for not learning. I believe that every child can learn and that is the pedagogy which educators are supposed to hold to, yet new laws from NCLB haven’t addressed that. While I appreciate much that NCLB has to offer it’s important to note that those laws strictly enforce what the system must do, what the states must hold as standards, and what teachers are responsible for, yet it missed one crucial piece: it doesn’t ever address the responsibility of the student. A tragic mistake because it never holds them accountable.
Mason’s middle school teachers simply didn’t listen. Every year we wrote his teacher’s a letter from the time he was in 3rd grade until 8th grade highlighting his strengths and weaknesses as a student. It was a plea to have them help him organize and we added suggestions as to what might work for him:
Don’t have too many distractions in the classroom. If there were lots of posters he would stare at them and not pay attention.
Keep him close to the teacher whether that was his desk near the teacher’s desk or having the teacher walk around the room constantly (Because, you know what? Too many teachers SIT while teaching. I wrote a poem about it once entitled “Get Up Off Your Fat Ass And Teach My Kid” but I’m not sure where it is right now)
Don’t require him to keep a lot of papers for which he will have to organize unless you are TEACHING ORGANIZATION. My problem with this was a math folder they were to keep with every paper from the beginning of the quarter. I told them he would lose it and it would be messy, but they kept saying “We’re trying to teach him responsibility!” and we would counter, “No. You’re grading him for something which you have NOT been specifically teaching and IT’S NOT ONE OF THE STANDARDS.” We didn’t get anywhere with that one. It only fueled my desire to eviscerate a few people.
Allow him to move and walk around. Do NOT take away recess as a punishment. For a child to miss the physical activity that his body needs is not punishment. It’s torture. After a while, I just started saying, “Fine. If you make him miss recess then YOU will be paying for it in the afternoon when he’s bouncing off the walls and we will NOT punish him at home when you call us telling us he’s not sitting still.”
Poor Mason has had it rough and had to learn that not every teacher cared about his learning. It’s not about what you TEACH, teachers. It’s about what the student LEARNED. If you have an entire class fail a test it cannot be blamed on all those students. What could you have done differently to ensure that every child learned the material? What are the multiple intelligences you used to help every learner?
Most of the time when Mason would get in trouble as a young child, we spanked him because that’s what would get him to stop long enough to pay attention to our words and the seriousness of the situations. If it was because he was running in a parking lot, so be it. It saved his life because he would then hold my hand while walking to the car. We gave up on spanking him for things which were out of his control and started changing other things.
The students in our classrooms aren’t going to change. We deal with what we’ve got. Just because some students are able to be still and make eye contact with the teacher and do what they’re told is no reason to ignore the other learners. You can’t pound a square peg in a round hole, so why even try? In education we tend to punish the capricious, difficult learners and reward handsomely the ones who are able to work in silence with empty smiles or unoriginal thoughts. That tragedy is for us educators to deal with and if we ignore it, then we’re the ones who need a spanking.
January 30, 2007 @ 6:54 am | Filed under Adrenalized | Permalink |
Aynde Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 7:27 am
Been There/ Done That. Dear God I hate having to go rounds with teachers about my son and his needs. Although It’s usually me that is the one saying “He’s just lazy.”
He has no foundation in the basics of math and reading. They’ve been “dumbing down” his benchmarks for years. We’ve seen little progress but he is allowed to move to the next grade. That puts him even more behind the curve and then then they dumb down his curriculum more. It’s an ugly cycle.
We wanted to hold him back last year and not have him enter middle school until he had a better foundation in math (in the beginning of the year he was at a 3rd grade level. No progress had been made since 3rd grade) We wanted him to repeat the 5th grade. The wonderful state of texas educational system said that parents do not make the decisions on student progress. If the educators feel he is able to progress to the next grade then he has to do so. WTF?! It’s no wonder they have seniors in high school who graduate but can’t read. UGH.
Lady M Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 7:50 am
Good teachers are a blessing who can change the lives of thousands. My mom told me there is a Chinese saying about bad teachers - they are relegated to one of the circles of hell along with traitors.
Jennifer Smith Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 8:38 am
The more I read the more I am in awe of you. You are such a great mom and teacher. You also have a lot of important things to tesch other educators!
furiousball Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 8:47 am
I’ve been reading You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? and although it’s written for adults, it has helped a lot with understanding our special 5 year old son.
Jenn Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 9:07 am
My daughters are complete opposites. The 14-year-old, she IS lazy. She just doesn’t want to put forth any effort whatsoever. When she does, the work is stellar. She is a student with straight A potential who has decided she’s just going to do enough to squeak by.
The six-year-old, she bounces off walls and has hard time concentrating on one thing for too long, especially if she is bored with it. If you can’t engage her mind with something she WANTS to learn, you’ve lost her.
I keep thinking I just need to quit my job and homeschool the young’uns.
Then I remember there is a reason I didn’t become a teacher. I don’t have the patience to be graced by their presence 24/7!
RWA Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 9:46 am
You should write a book - and it should be mandatory reading for teachers all over the country.
I had a few teachers in my day, from public school to college, who seemed proud of themselves when a majority of the class failed an assignment or an exam. I always thought, “What the heck does that prove?” You’re exactly right. That reflects on the teacher, not the students.
Sarah Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 11:17 am
Just wanted to point out that I’m also slightly dyslexic (by my standards, never been tested) so I thought I was seeing things until I went slower. You misspelled culpable, lol. Sorry to nitpick. I also wanted to see if you could give me more info about the work that can be done to “reverse” dyslexia…Thanks in advance.
grace Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 11:58 am
I personally think too much dianosis is being done in public schools and not enough teaching. Good teachers are not being able to do just that, teach. As a result, children suffer. Bad teacher refuse to do anything to help those who have special needs because it will disrupt their classroom. Leave teaching!
I wish I knew you, boy you tell it like it is.
People wonder why some parents homeschool.
Tricia Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 12:04 pm
So, how come he didn’t qualify medically with an ADHD diagnosis????
tanilan Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 12:05 pm
HUGS! You are a students greatest asset in school. I wish there were more educators like you out there. I don’t think many take the time to KNOW what is wrong. Instead they want to point the finger at the student or the parent, sometimes both.
Bless you. Don’t you want to teach here in Texas, in my district?
Beth Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
Although I have read your blog for quite some time, I have never left a comment until now. My daughter, Jordan (who is actually not mine…she is my now ex-husband’s, but I still claim her), is currently walking down this path. You could not be more correct about the differences that one teacher can make and the NEED of the parents to fight for their children. JoJo’s first grade teacher had the nerve to tell me that my child asked for it when other kids got her in trouble. “Because she is the one who misbehaves the majority of the time”…after that I quit punishing her because I knew that the teacher did not have her best interest at heart. The next year we had a wonderful teacher who saw all of her strengths and help us tackle her difficulties. Now that she has had the proper testing and has some medication to help her, Jordan’s school life is much better but she still faces some challenges. Hopefully with the help of those adults around her, she will be able to succeed. Thanks for some of the great ideas. I had never thought of writing to the teacher at the beginning of the year.
Karoli Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 1:21 pm
This should be required reading for every teacher. Truly. With that said, I will also say that Sticks has been blessed with some truly wonderful teachers who have recognized his gifts as well as his limitations and have beckoned him forward with focus on what he can do well rather than what he cannot do well.
My daughter, on the other hand, is the quintessential good student. She participates, does her homework in advance, does more than she’s assigned, and THINKS. For that, she’s rewarded (at least right now) with MORE work which doesn’t necessarily translate to learning. Did you ever have to memorize 3 page single spaced research papers word-for-word and deliver them orally for an A on the overall paper? She has one of these every three weeks.
My point is that a teacher who loves to see kids learn gets the idea that it’s what they LEARN, not what they do. In my daughter’s case, she is learning at age 12 to suffer deep anxiety in three-week spurts. Insanity.
J to the Wall Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 1:55 pm
Well. That’s about all I can say. Well….
Mocha Momma Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:14 pm
Aynde - My question, should I dare to advocate for you on behalf of your son, would be What kinds of interventions have you teachers employed to ensure his success? because I would want to know what it is that they’ve tried so his math and reading skills could improve.
Lady M - I could name a few who will be there on that particular circle. I’d bet my paycheck on it.
Jennifer - That’s kinda what part of my job is, so you get all this. For free. Heh. Now, let’s get back to my paycheck…
furiousball - Interesting! I will have to check that out for a certain someone who resides with me. Make that “someones”.
Jenn - See, it’s the “lazy” one that concerns me. Why isn’t she being challenged in school to work on that? Does she have an advisory period in school that targets weaknesses? That is just as much of a goal to strive for as learning about cellular mitosis.
RWA - Totally. Soon as some free time opens up. When is that again?
Sarah - Aaarrggghhh. I hate making errors. I had to fix it. Done. Now, you can look at this post for where I talked more about reversing dyslexia in young children. Or, just go directly to the Center For Cognitive Brain Imaging.
Grace - You know, not everyone appreciates that about me. I’m so glad that you do!
Tricia - You have to prove that your diagnosis of ADHD impedes your ability to learn. He can learn like the rest of the students so we suggested the 504 Plan. Still, didn’t work. Basically, I believe they were too L-A-Z-Y to do the work it involved. There. I said it.
Tanilan - With those unbelievable standards? HA. I’m still wondering how Texas is going to meet the criteria in 2014 like the rest of us. I should start a speaking tour, eh?
Beth - It is downright cathartic to write that letter. You really learn a lot about your child when you do and it shows how involved you are as a parent. As a teacher, I’d LOVE to get one of those.
Karoli - Memorizing 3 pages? Which standard does that fall under? Huh? Seriously. I’d like to know. That is, without a doubt, a PERSONAL TEACHER’S EXPECTATION that is just silly. Memorizing great works of literature or the U.S. Constitution actually serves some purpose, but your own writing? Geez. (You can copy my answer and pass it along to that teacher if you want. I ain’t scared.)
J to the Wall - Well, that’s because you are out of my clutches right now to be spanked. However, there’s an opening in my calendar for Thursday. Are you free then?
Liz Ditz Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
What Aimee said:
“So, today I was talking to the special ed director at my school and asking why a teacher wasn’t suggesting to a parent that their child be tested for dyslexia. Her response was that a teacher can not suggest such a thing because if s/he does, then the school is obligated to pay for the testing. (???) So, theoretically, a parent can not understand what their child’s problem is and the teacher ain’t tellin’ b/c of a few dollars for a test????”
1. Aimee, for the real deal (as opposed to your SpEd Dir’s fuzzy understanding) go to Wrightslaw
http://www.wrightslaw.com/
which has numerous articles on SpEd Law.
2. Testing for dyslexia is complex and expensive (a complete psychoeducation battery is running about$3,000- $5,000 around here). Teachers simply aren’t qualified to do the testing; it should be done by a PhD-level psychologist with experience.
I have a pretty complete post here, describing the test batteries:
http://lizditz.typepad.com/i_speak_of_dreams/2006/07/testing_for_dys.html
3. However, there’s a new screening test from England that may be promising
Heather van der Lely and a team from the Centre for Developmental Language Disorders and Cognitive Neuroscience at University College (London) has developed a rapid-screening test called GAPS (standing for Grammatical Abilites and Prereading Skills) for children 3 1/2 to 6 1/2 years of age.
http://www.dldcn.com/
4. I highly recommend Susan Barton’s work. She has three very informative webcasts:
Susan Barton
http://www.bartonreading.com/
Barton System of Reading and Spelling
http://www.dys-add.com/
Bright Solutions for Dyslexia
Has produced several informative webcasts
Watch this first:
http://www.webcastgroup.com/client/start.asp?wid=0680831062670&auto=true
Dyslexia: Symptoms and Solutions& (180 minutes)
The classic warning signs in children
Spelling and its relationship to dyslexia
Why dyslexic children “hit the wall” in reading by third grade
Why most schools don’t test for dyslexia — and why most dyslexic children will not qualify for special ed
How to find a qualified tester — and get an accurate diagnosis
Research-based best practices to improve spelling, reading, and writing
Why tutoring alone is not enough
Then this one:
http://www.webcastgroup.com/client/start.asp?wid=0681219062975&auto=true
Testing and Teaching (60 minutes)
Which tests reveal dyslexia — and what they are looking for
Who should do the testing — and who should not
Which reading programs to use — and which to avoid
And finally
http://www.webcastgroup.com/client/start.asp?wid=0671129062946&auto=true
Classroom Accomodations for Dyslexic Students& (60 minutes)
Susan Barton shares 23 practical, no-cost accommodations that regular education teachers should offer to help dyslexic students succeed in the mainstream classroom despite their difficulty with reading, spelling, handwriting, test anxiety, homework, and their unreliable memory. She explains why they are fair, and how to implement them without making the dyslexic student feel different than everyone else.
5. Aimee, Your SpEd Director evidently knows bupkis about dyslexia:
“She went on to explain to me some simple ideas for handling a student with dyslexia - one of them being that it is necessary to place a student on the left side of the classroom when placing them in a seating order because anything you can do to work AGAINST their tendency to maybe read from right to left will help.”
Completely useless. Dyslexia isn’t a disorder of directionality; it is a complex syndrome, the most common feature of which is a child’s inability to distinguish sounds in spoken language (phonemic awareness) and the child’s inability to connect the sounds to the symbols (grapheme phoneme correspondence).
6. Ask your SpEd Director if she has ever heard of Orton Gillingham — it is now more of a philosophy or a label for a group of programs that have been proven effective in remediating dyslexia. All the programs have the following features:
One shouldn’t regard a dyslexia program as tutoring. Parents should select a program that has been shown to work, that has the following features:Effective Teaching to Remediate Dyslexia–These steps must be mastered in order!
Phonemic Awareness is the first step. You must teach the student how to listen to a single word or syllable and break it into individual phonemes–the individual sounds.
Phoneme/Grapheme Correspondence is the next step. Here you teach which sounds are represented by which letter(s), and how to blend those letters into single-syllable words.
The Six Types of Syllables that compose English words are taught next.
Probabilities and Rules are then taught. The English language provides several ways to spell the same sounds. For example, the sound /SHUN/ can be spelled either TION, SION, or CION. The sound of /J/ at the end of a word can be spelled GE or DGE. Dyslexic students need to be taught these rules and probabilities.
Morphology and Roots and Affixes–Morphology is the study of how morphemes are combined from words. A morpheme is the smallest unit of meaning in the language. The curriculum must include the study of base words, roots, prefixes, and suffixes.
How it is taught: Simultaneous Multisensory Instruction: Sometimes we rattle this off and don’t really explain what it means or why it is important
This can be confusing to parents Sight or seeing, using the eyes = VISUAL Hearing or listening, using the ears = AUDITORY Feeling or touching, using the skin = TACTILE Moving through space and time, using the whole body = KINESTHETIC
Reading and writing go together; writing is a kinesthetic task–(can you feel how all the muscles in your hand and arm work to form letters as you write a sentence?).
Dyslexic people who use all of their senses when they learn (visual, auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic) are better able to store and retrieve the information. So a beginning dyslexic student might see the letter A, say its name and sound, and write it in the air — all at the same time.
Excellent instruction includes:
Intense Instruction with Ample Practice: The dyslexic brain benefits from overlearning–having a very precise focus with lots and lots of correct practice.
Direct, Explicit Instruction: dyslexic students do not automatically get anything about the reading task, and may not generalize well. Therefore, each detail of every rule that governs written language needs to be taught directly, one rule at a time. Then the rule needs to be practiced until the student has demonstrated that she has mastered the rule in both receptive (reading) and productive (writing and spelling) aspects. Only then should the instructor introduce the next rule.
Systematic and Cumulative: Many dyslexic students are not identified until later in their academic careers. They have developed mental structures of how English works that are completely wrong. To develop good written language skills–reading and writing–the tutor must go back to the very beginning and rebuild the student’s mastery with a solid foundation that has no holes or cracks.
Synthetic and Analytic: dyslexic students must be taught both how to take the individual letters or sounds and put them together to form a word (synthetic), as well as how to look at a long word and break it into smaller pieces (analytic). Both synthetic and analytic phonics must be taught all the time.
Diagnostic Teaching: the teacher must continuously assess their student’s understanding of, and ability to apply, the rules. The teacher must ensure the student isn’t simply recognizing a pattern and blindly applying it. And when confusion of a previously-taught rule is discovered, it must be retaught.
Siobhan Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:46 pm
Hi, thanks for the visit. We got the furniture shopping done, decided on the twin storage bed. Now I have a place for some of the couple dozen (hundred!) cars of his!! Putting it together was fun, I’ll be talking about that, complete with pics, and hubby painted it and it looks fabulous!!
I love this post. My hubby is ADHD… really!! He was doped up to his eyebrows with ritalin as a kid and even went so far as to jump out of a window, (first floor thankfully) to get away from the teacher when he hadn’t taken it. The way he deals with it now, and it is a way that he has sort of developed on his own, is once he starts something he will not stop for anything until he is done. If I need to ask him a question or tell him something, then I have to follow him, because he won’t stop.
My parents were always told that my younger brother was just lazy. He was very bright, just lazy. I think sometimes that they were the lazy ones. Joe just lived in his own world, and you had to get his attention.
Sorry, this is turning into a blog of my own. I think that the ADD and ADHD diagnosis has been overused and so now when teachers get a child who truly has it, they don’t take it as seriously as they should.
Siobhan
Daisy Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:48 pm
We are SO much alike. We need to meet in the middle somewhere between here and there and teach together. And raise our special-needs sons together.
Tom Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:48 pm
It seems like ADHD is fairly common these days. Would you guess that most teachers have at least one student a year that fits that diagnosis? You go to training outside of work, is any of it ADHD related? You would think public schools might look into that if they don’t.
I will refrain from making any spanking comments.
John Hayes Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 2:54 pm
I too would be interested in reading about any research that reverses dyslexia. I feel I keep up to date on most dyslexia research and all I have seen is some claims about brain plasticity for dyslexics that indicated that they have been able to see some changes in the brain with fMRI imaging that are due to dyslexia interventions and indicate that the brain structures changed somewhat in the direction of structures seen in normal readers.
Personally I feel that announcement about being able to reverse the effects of dyslexia needs to be taken with a grain of salt. There has been no indication that the dyslexics studied have had any reversal of symptoms that would indicate they can now perform at a non-dyslexic level of reading due to their interventions. If that was true the headlines would proclaim the Effects of Dyslexia Have been Reversed . When you consider that it is presently beyond the current abilities of fMRI researchers to be able to scan a person and determine if they are dyslexic or not , then what does it mean. The differences that have been observed are from groups of dyslexics compared to groups of normal readers.
If you believe that the structural differences in the brain cause the impairment that results in poor reading skills, a common belief, then perhaps a measurable change caused by an intervention could be considered some degree of reversal. I agree that the results are amazing that some change has occurred in the direction of normal brain structure. I don’t believe that at this time that the results indicate that any structural changes seen are likely to continue to the point where the individual eliminates their dyslexia problems or achieves a normal brain structure.
A careful read of the fMRI study would indicate what has been determined is that eventually it might be possible to evaluate which dyslexia interventions might be effective for dyslexics.
I am encouraged that several researchers have determined that while most dyslexics have phonological difficulties that seem to be at the root of their problem they have also identified that for a minority of dyslexics the cause of their dyslexia seems to be caused by visual stress. This is a step up from common past positions where dyslexia is seen as having a single cause. Having a single cause leads to the conclusion that there would be a single intervention.
Visual stress has been oversold to the dyslexic population in the past and even in the present some people advocating precision tints as the solution claim success if a dyslexic likes to read using a selected color without having any noticeable effects on reading ability. I sell a new product called See Right Dyslexia Glasses at dyslexiaglasses.com .There is only one claim for the glasses and that is : if a dyslexic can describe a visual problem that makes reading difficult the glasses will remove the problem. It is a niche product for the minority of dyslexics with described visual problems. They are also unconditionally guaranteed.
You have read about dyslexics that can describe their visual problems. The letters move, are missing or transposed all of which cause problems reading. The See Right Dyslexia Glasses eliminate those problems.
lara Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 7:43 pm
ack! i so wish i could say something eloquent and astoundingly insightful right now, but i can’t. all i can say is “preach on, sister!” because you are so right on about all of this. it’s incredibly frustrating at times, as an educator, but it’s part of the job - what we took on when we accepted the responsibility. i do believe that there might come a time (with one student or another) when i will ask myself that crucial list of questions - did i do X to help him? did i do Y? did i do Z? did i do EVERYTHING I COULD? - and say, yes, i did, there was nothing more i could do to help that child not fail. but i think those cases are VERY rare. yes, it’s a tough job, but the more of us out there trying to do it well, the better off the kids will be. (and yes, i count myself among the good ones. so there.)
dragon-mum Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
My sweet Mocha,
Today is NOT the day for me to be my nice self. Bowen went back to school yesterday (hooray peace and quiet). And I was seriously pissed off because they took all the kids into their old classrooms with their old teachers. Then they were going to take them into the new classrooms with new teacher about an hour later. SO I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO MEET THE BLOODY TEACHER. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO IT IS!
Bowen came home so ?(word like pathetic, he was just so blaze… distracted…and soooo angry. I am too angry to look it up). He has no idea who his teacher for this year EVEN FUCKING IS! So we are off to a flying start to the year. His teacher has made such a positive impact that Bowen CANNOT even tell me if the teacher is a he, she, it, animal, plant, vegetable or what it’s name might be. Hmmmm yep…. great job at connecting with my child and engaging his willingness to behave in class and OMFG maybe even LEARN!
Whoever it is has obviously not fucking bothered to spend an iota of time with his teachers, tutors and helpers from last year. How do I know this? Bowen eats like a horse on his meds for which I am eternally grateful. And when he comes home with a full lunch box…. I K.N.O.W something is very wrong. Apparently he was naughty in class yesterday and had to stay in class at recess and lunch. They have 3 BREAKS and he wasn’t allowed out for EVEN ONE OF THEM. Nor did this prick of a teacher allow him to eat when he had finished re-doing his work, becuase the break was over. Nasty assed circle begins and by day’s end Bowen came home breathing fire and bouncing like he’s been sniffing lines of speed ALL DAY. Not to mention abso-fucking-lutely STARVING. He even managed to not eat on the bus, cause he knows we have no other way to get him to school. And eating on the bus will get his pass taken away permanently.
If his teacher had cared at all to find anything out about Bowen they would know he gets 10 minutes out of every hour to go outside and run laps around the play equipment. We found that allowing him to vent the “sillies” for a few minutes every hour meant he was able to sit a bit quieter and more still and learn. They would know that he has to eat or the meds make him feel very ill. They would know I am the bitch from hell and should not be fucked with. They would know that I love this kid and will rend people into shreds for messing with him. I have written a letter to the teacher over a dozen times today but keep destroying them cause I cannot remain CALM. And I cannot think past the swearing to write a sane letter.
Please help? Email me a few lines I should be asking or what to say. Cause I swear Kelly, I am so tempted to march up to the school and start removing organs til the teacher starts to listen. And I managed to last just over a day before all this got the better of me and I got smokes.
Sorry it’s so long. Sorry for swearing so much. I know you are very busy. I’m off to go cry for a bit and shred a tree or two until I calm down.
I read the book furiousball mentioned. It helped me alot with Justin
Love you
Yvonne
Susan Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
Please PLEASE find that poem. I am begging you.
Lisa Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 9:08 pm
I wish I would have been in contact with you when my youngest son was going through school. Maybe you could have given me some of these nuggets of wisdom. Or at least been a shoulder to cry on. You speak so much truth in everything you said! He ended up quitting school (I feel strongly as a result of ADD) and fell through the cracks during most of his education as a young boy. Things have never come easy for him. I’m so sorry your Mason has had to learn things about teachers instead about what he SHOULD be learning about. I know your pain but you have it right on the head as a mom and an educator. I wish there were more like you baby! Thank you for standing up for what is right! Our kids DO matter and are just as important as those without ADD/ADHD!
Hugs
L
Josh Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 9:56 pm
WOW…that’s something for most of us as educators to think about. That was very cool. I know I have been guilty of that myself…getting frustrated at the students, then not really looking at the bigger picture…if what I’m doing is not working, then what am I going to do that WILL work.
Very cool.
J to the Wall Said,
January 31, 2007 @ 8:59 am
I was going to come back to school Thursday but if you plan to spank me while I am down…I might stay home another day. However, it depends on who is doing the spanking…..
Jessica Said,
February 2, 2007 @ 12:33 pm
Very nice. My Mason has had many issues but, we were able to get a 504 plan for him. I start every year holding my breath and meeting with teachers to try and start out the year positive. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. When I told the new middle school to not let him get away with one little thing, to call us, they didn’t listen. So when they called me to say he was going to be suspended I refused to let them do it. I had not heard one word from them about behavior! They said they like to deal with things internally at middle school first. I asked them how that was working out? So, finally we seem to be on the same page and things are ok for now. Grades are inconsistant but, he does seem to be trying at least. Sorry for the loooonnnnggg comment, this is a subject close to my heart!!
Jessica Said,
February 2, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
HA, just read some of your other comments! My comment wasn’t long at all…I feel better.
Natalie Said,
February 2, 2007 @ 7:15 pm
The other responsibility to look at concerning NCLB is that the funding was never fully realized. It was enacted without full funding. Crazy. Then it falls back to the money-poor school districts to deal with the deficiencies.
I’ve become a psuedo-legislator as a result.
There is a bill being proposed to take the required number of school days from 180 to 210. Yes, that’s twohundredandfuckingten. How are they going to pay for it?
Um, dunno… but if it doesn’t change, they won’t sign-off on the budget. What the heck is that? Crazy mo-fo’s thinkin’ they are doin’ somethin’ good but lack the ability to TRULY see the big picture.
Our oldest is being re-tested to NM standards as they “can’t understand the IEP form from Illinois.” Dumbasses… here, let me translate it in English and in Spanish for you… it says he’s ADHD with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He’s taken care of his language problems and needs special focus.
During our little “mental health” meeting, I told them that they needed to separate him for the testing otherwise he would bring down their scores. They told me to not worry about it because of his special classification. I guess they understood the IEP enough to get that he will be in a different percentile for NCLB testing.
It’s all so silly, really… but I have a feeling that their “re-testing” will have significantly different findings that, in the long run, will not provide the services that he so desperately needs.
We are putting up the good fight. In fact, my mug is now familiar to the Superintendent (in a good way) and I am pretty sure I can drop a few names that will keep the wheels greased in the right direction.
What a shame that I’ve had to go to such extremes.
Well, what can I say; I love the boy.
I’m feelin’ sistah.
Liza Said,
February 15, 2007 @ 7:12 pm
I just added your blog in my sidebar links. I hope it’s ok.
Liza