The best pair of frames I ever owned were these pair right here.
Except, when I wanted my new prescription put in them I was told it would cost about $100 extra just to keep those frames and would be better off with a whole new pair.
Stupid much, Lenscrafters?
Then, I reluctantly got these. They were sort of close to them, but not quite.
A few weeks ago I picked up these pair:
I had decided that I wanted something really cool and on the edge, but not too on the edge and still sorta cool. The guy helping me just looked perplexed. Maybe not. Hell, what do I know? I couldn’t see him as he made faces at me because I wasn’t wearing any glasses at the time and couldn’t see him.
Insertion of important factoid here: umm…I’m legally blind. Which sounds bad but really it means I can’t drive without the aid of … what’s the word? SOMETHING THAT HELPS ME SEE.
I called my mother and begged her to help me.
Me: Hey, Ma. You busy? Can you drop whatever important thing you’re doing right now and meet me to help pick out frames? A girl can’t do this by herself, you know?
Mom: Anything for you, babe.
Uh huh. She worships the quicksand I walk upon.
She was more than happy to help me come up with these maroon frames with pretty rubies on the side. The fact that they’re made by Versace didn’t faze me until I picked them up and found out that they come with a certificate of authentication. Criminy, it’s like buying a car. By that I mean I think I had to give them a blood sample and a promise to take possession of a kidney should they decide at a later date.
Morgan, my only child who patiently takes pictures of my for my 365 Project, helped with the photos.
Me: Hey, kiddo. Wanna take several thousand photographs of Momma with her new glasses?
Morgan: Sure. Can you put them all on at once? Wouldn’t that be funny? Hahahaha. Yeah. That would be funny! Do it! Do it!
While I adore me some Dorothy Parker, her quote about boys making passes is probably true. I might alter it a bit to read: Boys don’t make passes at girls who put on three pair of glasses and out of themselves make asses.
There’s a certain poetry to it, don’t you think?
February 20, 2007 @ 5:50 am | Filed under Everyday Mundane | Permalink |
Juli Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 6:32 am
Cute, all of them. But, I do see a trend here. You may not see it as you are legally blind. But they all kinda look the same girlio. What happened to the Elton John Stars glasses? Those would be cool!!??!!
Oh yeah, the guys don’t make passes thing.
I laughed when you said Morgan your only child. I thought you were disowning the other two for slanderous remarks. I see now that he’s the only one accomodating your habit. He’s such a good boy. I think you can keep him.
Aynde Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:04 am
If glasses make a person look smart does 3 pair make you triple smart??? I gotta try it and see…LOL
Looking good Lady! BTW I would have opted for the Bootsie Collins rhinestone star glasses. Maybe he and Elton shop at the same store.
VENTL8R Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:05 am
Guys may make passes at girls if it appears that the girl is more of a doofus than he, that way he doesn’t look so bad.
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:25 am
Hey now! I’ve had glasses since I was 3 years old and I’m living proof that guys do INDEED make passes at girls who wear glasses. But that could be because the guys wear glasses themselves…which is sex-y, in my opinion.
As for the glasses…um…am I the only one who thinks they all look almost exactly alike? Beside, Mocha honey, you could wear a burlap sack and make it look good, so pleeeeease.
scout Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 8:20 am
They might look alike but the new ones are VERSACE!
They look great.
Mommela Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 8:43 am
Sweet peeps! The bottom pair on the trio pic are my favs. You could make Buddy Holly’s specs look hip.
Trisha Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 8:49 am
Your new glasses are great. I’m thinking, though, that for the price of the three pairs you bought, you coulda sprung for the extra $100 to keep the old frames. Oh well, change is good for the soul.
By the way? That bit in your cuppa the day? That’s a major spoiler for people who Tivo’d the show. Like me. I still love your blog, though.
Steve Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 8:52 am
“worships the quicksand I walk on”
Good one!
I also had to laugh at your passes/asses rhyme. Long ago and in a different context, I made a similar edit to Parker’s line. At the time, first date decorum required that I keep it to myself, though I could probably confess to her now since she did marry me.
Chris Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 9:55 am
I really like the new ones. And Liberty just walked by and cracked up at your 3 sets of glasses. She asked if you were an alien with hidden eyes. sigh. Can you tell she watched Star Wars all weekend?
angie Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 10:03 am
I don’t know if I like the first pair of glasses best, or the picture of you in the first pair best. It’s easier to see your eyes in the lighter frames, though. Ever considered wire frames? I know what you mean about glasses and poor vision, too. Before we were married, my husband scored big points with me by recognizing me in glasses after first having seen me in contacts. Have you ever tried contacts? Your eyes are pretty enough to be seen.
deannie Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 10:19 am
You are too pretty for words with your glasses on. How come I can’t look that cute?!? Bah
love you - mean it.
RWA Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 10:39 am
“Boys don’t make passes at girls who put on three pair of glasses and out of themselves make asses.”
Hilarious!!!
Great pictures by the way…
kapgar Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 10:58 am
What’s wrong with glasses? Katie looks pretty sexy in them.
J. Fergie Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 12:04 pm
Great choice. I think I had the pair you are wearing in the middle pic. Then I upgraded again last year after I had my second daughter and subsequently became even more blind. My “new” pair are Prada (with a little bling on the sides) and came with a cert of authenticity too! I love them, but should a mom of little ones have such extravagant frames? Now I break out into a cold sweat each time my toddler is even remotely close to my glasses…
Love your blog!
Lorina Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
Lovely lady, you have beautiful taste in spectacles.
Seriously, though, I probably won’t be able to afford Versace frames any time soon. Which is okay since I’m hoping to get Lasik sometime soon after college.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 1:53 pm
I like pair #3.
Fabiola Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 1:58 pm
Hey Kelly,
I agree with you. Girls cannot pick one frame by herself, especially if she doesn’t see a thing without her glasses (I am right there with you).
I love the new frame, it just reminds me it time for me to get a new prescription too.
Fabiola
Mocha Momma Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 2:12 pm
Trisha - I have since added “spoiler warning” - you are so right. I didn’t even think about that. Who knew you were reading me anyway?
Thanks for the etiquette lesson. Still, it was a little disconcerting to have her…ummm…. you know.
Steve - You’re always enamored of the rhymes. It’s in your blood.
J. Fergie - Notice how I waited until my youngest was in junior high school before I bought nice ones? I can’t imagine trying to keep them away from a toddler!
Daisy Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 3:18 pm
I love Dorothy Parker — my favorite is “One Perfect Rose”.
Hilly Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 3:19 pm
I think these days, men see glasses as sexy. I have a large amount of male friends that say they like a girl in her glasses!
Yours are so cute, btw.
Tom Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
I think it is good thing you plucked your nose hairs before Morgan took those pictures.
dragon-mum Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 3:58 pm
You are such a good looking woman when making out of yourself an ass!
Who can resist the power that is Mocha, glasses or no?
Due to toddlers I gave up on glasses and have contacts now. I hear you on trying to choose glasses when you are blind. I see in drunk-o-vision or blurry-as-all-hell-vision when I don’t have my contacts in
Please post a pic with the glasses on the back of your head. I need some backup. Bowen won’t believe me that ALL MUM’S have EYES IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEADS.
Plus it would be worth some giggles
Miranda Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 4:56 pm
I, too, like the new Versace one’s best. Maybe don’t take my opinion though cause I’m the girl that looks at department store catalogs and will pick out what I like best and find it’s undoubtedly the most expensive thing on the page. every. time.
It’s funny you mention calling your mom to come help. I was just in picking out new frames on my own about 2 weeks ago and got so frustrated that I ended up trying contacts. I’m so happy I did; love em!
lou gillihan Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
hello, get the rimless with fexlible ears . your beatiful eyes will appear and you won’t even know you wearing glasses.. lol keep up the good work. Lou
kate5kiwis Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
you have *three* pair of glasses???
wow.
and my R13 just got contact lenses.
i am like. so. jealous. of both of you.
amanda Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:10 pm
For the record, with the perfect teeth and sassy hair, the glasses become moot. Did you see Studio 60 last night? Glasses were the anchor in the ideal woman for Matthew’s character. They all looked great, the test is how they look in the morning over coffee before daily beauty ministrations.
sizzle Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 7:24 pm
i love glasses. i think the right pair can totally be worked as a hawt accessory. i kind of feel naked without mine… and well, i am likely to trip as i can’t see all that well without them.
all the options look great on you- you’re stunning! i like the last frames before the three frames at once picture. they show off your eyes best. what did you decide on?
Grace Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 8:52 pm
I LOVE all three selections really. That just reminds that I need to get a new pair. But I am basically blind. How negative are you? And you’re okay with just going to Lenscrafters? Gosh…if it’s going to be as convenient as going there than I’d better get cracking on ordering some stylish eyewear like yours!
Mrw RW Said,
February 20, 2007 @ 9:43 pm
I have several pairs of glasses, only one of which I wear regularly because they’re the most comfortable. When you are very blind even the ultra-lightest lenses are heavy when combined with any kind of frame (unless it’s one of the new titanium frames)so my everyday pair is frameless and devoid of any bling *sigh*.
I wore contacts from the time I was 12 until my mid-forties when presbyopia (the inability to see things close up) kicked in. After unsuccessfully trying bifocal contact lenses of every sort and prescription I finally realized my contact lens-wearing days were over.
I love your new frames. You look beautiful AND smart! And as for “boys don’t make passes…” next Monday I’m getting braces. What do they say about glasses AND braces? Should I just kill myself now?
Lady M Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 12:03 am
Love the new frames!
Someone already said it above, but I must repeat: “worships the quicksand I walk upon” - excellent line.
I need to get to the eye doc. My glasses can’t possible have much to do with my actual eyesight this many years out from my last appointment.
Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 5:32 am
Damn, you’re cute! You could wear 12 pairs of glasses and still be adorable…You know who you look like? Vanessa Williams…Of course, in her “Miss America” days…before we were exposed to her “Photo shoot”…
chris Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 5:52 am
You are gorgeous, darling.
I love that your son takes the photos of you. So sweet.
Kfarm Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 6:42 am
Well I think you look fab in any of those glasses. I just found out my new pair are going to cost $320.00. Damn those progressive bifocals. I came by to ask if you had hear about the controversy over the Newbury award winner “The Higher Power of Lucky” I ranted in my blog. Sheesh! Have a good one.
-S. Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 8:37 am
Hey there Mocha! Now I don’t usually recommend others sites to people, but the blog o this site from yesterday will be of interest to you. It is about Librarians censor a book. Check it out if you have a minute. http://kfarmer25kfarm1961.spaces.live.com/
Thanks,
-S.
Sarah Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 10:31 am
I don’t know about that saying…since I got my glasses a couple months ago I’ve gotten tons of comments on them including and some even included the word “hot”.
In fact just the other night this random old man (at the bar…but he wasn’t that drunk I swear)told me that he liked my glasses. I also had guy that’s an eye doctor (again, at the bar) tell me that I had really good frames. Mine are cheaper models, but apparently a hit!
Sarah Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 10:31 am
Oh, and by the way…I love all three frames on you!
Dana Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 11:45 am
Adorable glasses, darling. I should show you my blue/orange hip ones.
And the poem is kinda catchy. Glasses, asses, passes, lasses…..
Her Bad Mother Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 12:03 pm
You look great in all of them, all at once. Me, I loves me my current pair of glasses, but that they are perpetually smudged with baby grot.
Lara Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 12:12 pm
the picture with all three pairs at once is simultaneously really cool and slightly disturbing.
but you’re a cutie either way.
Mike Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 1:37 pm
Women in glasses are hot - period! And you make them smoke. Any pair is good on you, but to be honest, some wire frames would be DA BOMB on Ya! I usually visit just to see the 365 pics. and those eyes.
Mocha Momma Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 3:51 pm
Generic comments again. I so suck. But I’m really busy.
I’ve had rimless and they’re nice, but these add such character that I am loving them too much. I’m fairly negative (is that the right term?) in my eyesight, but I switch back and forth between contacts and glasses.
Vanessa? Yeah, she stole my look years ago and then posed nude which made it rather fun for me at the time.
Currently, I have glasses AND a clear retainer that makes me sound like Owl on Winnie the Pooh. Is it the owl I’m thinking of who lisps?
Beauty ministrations. HA. So very HA.
I decided on the last pair, but the ones before it are a “backup” pair. Because I’m spoiled like that.
It’s only because I have a LISP WITH MY RETAINER.
Nora Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 4:27 pm
I had noticed that girl looked like you, I wondered if you were related. ; ) I am so fashion backward, I cannot give advide, but I do feel better about my lisp from my new tooth, at least you have one too, and you are cool. (Maybe I should have made that sentance longer.)
Mom101 Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 8:36 pm
Ooh, I love those last two with the darker frames. Tres chic!
Don’t be too freaked about the Versace label - Lenscrafters used to be a client. All those brands license out their names; it’s not like Donatella’s handcrafting the frames for you.
big label or not you look gorgeous in glasses!
A Million Paths Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 8:46 pm
Posting late, but I like the middle pair best, although all three suit your face. As for your retainer…having a lisp worked for Cindy Brady
Lia Said,
February 21, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
I like pair 3 the best too. Why is it though that you look so great in all of them!!
StrollerGuy Said,
February 22, 2007 @ 2:33 am
Love the pictures!
Lara Said,
February 22, 2007 @ 9:53 am
it was rabbit who had a lisp. not owl. silly kelly.
TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre Said,
February 23, 2007 @ 10:09 am
As a certified Optician (I do glasses), I’m first of all bummed that you had to go to Lenscrafters-they suck. Second, there is no reason it should have cost you an extra $100 to put lenses into your old glasses. Unless they were VERY old and then they’d just need to tell you they might break. Finally, SOMEONE should be there helping you! Opticians are trained to know which glasses look good on who, and to take the personality of the patient and really find them something good. I loved that part of my job! I wish I had been there, we’d have had a great time.
Lastly, I like the bottom pair. But they’re all good.
Next time call me and send pics and I’ll help. Unless you’re in the Portland area and then I’ll come help you!
jenB Said,
February 23, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
chica, you are a supermodel. you would look great in anything. or nothing. woooo wooo. look at at blogher baby. i’m so in grade 7
Jessica Said,
February 24, 2007 @ 7:38 pm
Girl! I just dropped $700 on new glasses and contacts (yay medical savings plan!)! The were buy one get one free but, I still feel like I got totally hosed.
tanyetta Said,
February 24, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
love the specks!
Chadie Said,
February 26, 2007 @ 5:43 am
My oldest son, he is 17, thinks glasses are beautiful. He wishes he needed glasses. I think he sure would look at a girl in glasses. It makes the women look intelligent and smart, he says.
Mike Said,
February 26, 2007 @ 4:15 pm
You are wrong. I asked a girl out the other day and she had glasses on. So what do you say about that?
I know you want to know so - She said no date. I did ask tho.
Siobhan Said,
February 27, 2007 @ 10:58 pm
Funny how I too wore glasses for years, used them as a crutch and hid behind them, ditched them after 22 years and now, just a piddely 4 years years later, sometimes find myself trying on low prescription frames just to capture the sexy librarian look I never had. “Healthy” prescriptions suck.
You, by the way, look awesome, designer or no designer.
Siobhan Said,
February 28, 2007 @ 10:08 am
P.S. Are you lying on your kitchen floor??