The things I had to do yesterday to set up a $1,000 webinar conference call which was reduced from a $3,000 training because I’m trying to save my school some money
Get a computer with Windows on it.
Jayne wouldn’t do. Obviously. I’m a Mac girl.
Set up and sync 6 palm pilots.
Beg a favor to get software installed on Jayne.
Export names from a database and put into browser-based program.
Remember that I don’t need all the names.
Type in all the names one at a time and use birthdates and 7 digit long ID numbers.
Cuss myself for leaving that part until last the night before.
Charge all 6 palm pilots.
Set up the Windows laptop illegally and get a lecture from someone in the tech department.
Deal with the second person in tech who came over to chastise me some more and tell me that I’ve now exposed the system to viruses.
“Borrow” a phone with conference call capability and nearly yank it out of the wall due to frustration level.
Look at the clock and realize I’m now 20 minutes late in making the phone call.
Take phone call from company left wondering where the hell I am and why I’m late so they could tell me they thought I lived in the Eastern time zone making them think that I’m an hour and 20 minutes late.
Decide to try Jayne and realize Hey! She might work! Forget the Windows computer!
Find out that the web page I need for the webinar is blocked by my school district.
Call head of tech to a) admit guilt, b) beg forgiveness and c) ask for assistance.
Call back after getting disconnected and continue apologizing for ever trying to hook up a Windows laptop while head of tech unblocks the website I need to get to for conference call.
See the participants of conference call begin to enter room where all this is set up and realize I’m sweating clear through to my bra.
Wonder if I smell, too.
Put cradle of phone on shoulder while I try to hook up projector to laptop.
Realize that a crucial cord is missing from the projector bag and begin to silently put a curse upon the head of the last person who used it.
Finish talking to head of tech, hooking up projector, silently motioning for someone to get me crucial cord for projector, and check to see if website is now unblocked.
Realize that conference presenters are still waiting for my call and cut short conversation with head of tech.
Do a quick pit check and determine that I must somehow take off the wet, sweaty shirt but keep on the sweater I’m wearing over it.
Wonder why I decided that any of this was a good idea.
Welcome participants to room as I finish up and try to find the phone number and login information for conference call.
Hear secretary out front say, “Hold on. She’s right here in the conference room. Kelly? Your daughter’s on line 1.”
Think that my daughter has the worst timing in the world.
Answer phone in exhasperated, irritated voice. “Mallory, whatever it is… can it possibly wait?”
Listen to the words that make me feel like a total shit.
“Oh, sure, Mom. No problem. Just wanted you to know there is a tornado here and I’m in the basement.”
March 2, 2007 @ 5:48 am | Filed under Everyday Mundane | Permalink |
Juli Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 6:23 am
Oh baby girl, don’t feel bad. We’ve all had those days, almost to the T, except for the daughter calling about the torndado, but I digress.
You are absolutely the best momma in the world and it’s proven by the way your daughter was taught to call you, let you know she’s alright and cut her message short for you. She knows you care.
What I’ve learned is never piss off the IT or storeroom/janitorial staff as you always need them most when things get really bad. I actually embarrassingly brown nose them in public just so I’m assured willing service when the disaster is upon us.
Hope everything is okay with Mallory. That is a scary deal.
So, how did the presentation end up?
Kathy T. Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 6:51 am
Man. You are wonder woman.
tanilan Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 8:23 am
Oh honey! Tech people can be really mean! And technology shouldn’t be so damn complicated anyway.
I think Mallory understands, and I hope everything is okay with her.
Much Love
Betsy Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 8:57 am
Crappy days happen. And then they’re over. And it’s Friday!
Cyndi Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 10:14 am
Dear Kelly - I read your site everyday and only occasionally leave a comment. Today felt like a day to leave a comment. Eighteen months ago I left my secure, unfulfilling job to open a store at the mall. I did this mainly to show my three daughters exactly what I had been teaching them all their lives. God doesn’t create ordinary - we settle for ordinary. I raised them telling them they have the potential to do and be anything they want. Well, fast forward 18 months. I work seven days a week, ten hours a day, no breaks, no bathroom, NO COFFEE!!!!! Somedays I spend the whole day without anyone coming in. I never dreamed this could happen. I spend alot of days trying not to cry or ask why. Yesterday was a particularly hard day - the first of the month - the bills, the worry, etc.. Well, I also have a daughter who got married and moved to the panhandle of Florida six months ago. I knew she was close to the hurricane area. Driving home, feeling sorry for myself and contemplating chicken or cereal, beer or martini, TV or In Style my cell phone rang. I picked it up and heard “Hi, Momma - I’m ok.” Suddenly, I realized that no day is crappy when I get to hear those words. Thanks for the reminder. Cyndi
Jenn Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 10:32 am
Oh my, what a day! You deserve a mega grande mocha cappa, a long soak in a tub with Calgon and bubbles, a good trashy romance novel and NO disturbances for about an hour.
Yeah, I know, sometimes I live in a fantasy world.
I hope Mallory is okay! Those tornadoes, they are SCARY!
G Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
I feel you. We’ve all had those days. I’m glad Mallory and the fam are ok, though!
Maybe you’ll smile at this - or maybe you’ll sue me for copyright . . . who knows . . . Anyway, I am taking pictures for an employee directory here at work today. I put up a sign saying “School picture day is here!” I wanted to put on the sign an embarrassing pic of mine from grade school to make people laugh, but didn’t have one (and my mom lives in Wisconsin, so they aren’t easily accessible). I remembered your post of embarrassing photos . . . I needed an embarrassing school pic photo . . . so yes, afro Kelly is up on the wall in my plant. If it makes you feel better, everyone thinks it’s me. They all say that the afro threw them (my hair is baby fine and straight as a pin), but the big brown eyes had them convinced it was me. While you were having a bad day in Illinois, little-you was making people smile in North Carolina. It didn’t make picture day any more popular though, I can tell you!
KC Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
How could you have known? What a crazy hectic time you were in … there was no way to know what anyone would have wanted had they called. Good thing is Mallory is alright… right?
Take a deep breathe and tell her you love her… ’cause we all know you do…
Hope you have a FANTASTIC weekend!
Ciao bella,
KC
Ariana Said,
March 2, 2007 @ 5:44 pm
What a stressful mess of a day. I think that phone call came right at that moment as a message from ‘above’ to help you put things in perspective.
Thankfully Mallory was safe.
Missy Said,
March 3, 2007 @ 1:17 am
After the day you had I sure hope you had a nice long bubble bath followed by an appointment with our friend, Margarita….
Yvonne Said,
March 3, 2007 @ 8:29 am
Although I didn’t understand most of the post due to me being one of thoses people who havent a clue when it involves technology, I got the gist of it. You had a spectacularly shitty day.
I hope Mallory is fine. I hope the presentation ended up going well. I hope the shirt and bra survived the sweaty ordeal
Mwah to you all
J to the Wall Said,
March 3, 2007 @ 10:05 am
Don’t leave out, “Making a co-worker so mad that you get ‘black-listed’ just for wearing a name tag with your name on it!”
Jaime Said,
March 3, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
Girl, next time just yell….. Even though some of those IT staff members are a real pain, some of us got your back
Lady M Said,
March 4, 2007 @ 1:00 am
We need to send you some tech support pronto. No one should have to change out of their cute clothes because the prepwork was so stressful! Hope the tornado didn’t do too much damage.
Jay Said,
March 4, 2007 @ 8:56 pm
I assume you look good in a cape?
VENTL8R Said,
March 5, 2007 @ 7:31 am
To quote Ralphie from “The Christmas Story”:
“Oh, Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge!”
*In SloMo, of course!*
Sending CyberHugs your way……