Do you know what happens when you try that? She comes out swinging. And punching. And sometimes it creates in her a potty mouth.
But I didn’t come here today to talk about that. It’s been so long I’ll have to see if I remember how to do this.
First, write something pithy. Hit “publish” and then see 12 mistakes. Fix them. One at a time.
I may be out of pithy at the moment, but I could offer up some things that read like a tedious recital or a repetitive series resembling a Latin mass. Perhaps I should rethink the pithy.
You’re probably wanting some sort of magical update that will let you know that fairy dust is still emitting from my hindquarters or that I’ve stopped using my sweat glands altogether since it merely emits a faint brown liquid with just a hint of a coffee scent, but I can offer neither of those things. I can only say that I’ve really missed writing and that some nice people (LOTS of nice people, SUPER people even - the kind who have halos around their heads at all time) continue to write /call/e-mail and ask about how I’m doing and offer encouraging words.
That’s sweet. It makes me tingle.
I’ve updated people, anyone, as much as I felt I could. But I can share a few more things at this time.
I’ve been through two grueling interviews with so many people on the interview panel it could choke a Rottweiler and give anyone instant gray hair. After both of the interviews I was sweating in all my girly parts. It was awful and wonderful. I hated it and loved it. I am nothing if not a walking dichotomy. Neither of the jobs panned out and I actually lived to tell it.
After NOT getting the jobs (did I mention that I didn’t get those jobs? that I’m sitting here with a stack of beautifully done resumes with NO NEW JOB?) I went to a meeting at the Big, Scary District Office to get the writing scores from my school only to find out that my school…
…wait. I have to give some background information here.
I work at a high poverty, high mobility school that we liken to being a “step-child school” in the district. One that never gets good press. We only hear bad things. Even some friends of mine wonder how I can drive over to that side of town and work there. Our achievement scores were taking a downward turn a few years ago and we were ready for some turnaround leadership and some serious change.
Caught up? Good.
While I was at the Big, Scary District Office I learned that out of the six middle schools in my district that we had gotten the second highest writing scores. Scores that beat out the gifted school. Scores that were 9/10 of a point behind the magnet school. Scores that (and I used these words when I called my building principal to tell her the news) kicked ass.
Then, there was a not-so-nice newspaper article about our scores that headlined “School’s Scores Unexpected” and that hurt our feelings. When our students read the article (and the ensuing online banter that went with it) it pained me and felt like all fragile bone particles were breaking in my ribs and that my heart was squeezed from some sturdy hand on the inside of my body when one of them turned to me and asked, “We go to the “poor school”? I didn’t know we were poor.”
All of me wanted to say, “No, and don’t listen to that. Remember. We kicked ass.” But I did not. I was professional and told every single student that we DO have high expectations. I shall save the fangs and retractable claws for that journalist another time because I was too busy celebrating.
Speaking of celebrating, I have a party dress and some darling red shoes to wear to graduation.
Mine.
My graduation.
Tomorrow I’m walking on stage and picking up a diploma that has my full name and the words Summa Cum Laude under it. My family is awfully proud of me and when Mallory and I went to get our nails painted together last night a woman said, “Well, you girls are all ready for something special. What’s the occasion?”
“My mom’s graduating. Summa Cum Laude.”
I blushed. That kid of mine. She’s proud of me. Know why?
I kick ass.
May 11, 2007 @ 3:07 am | Filed under Education, Freaky Family | Permalink |
RW Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:31 am
You’ll also probably be very sexy with all that extra gear on your robe! The Mrs and I send our salutes!
Shash Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:50 am
Yes you do.
Wish I was there to cheer you from the stands.
Great job, girl!
Shash
Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:59 am
You sure do kick ass!!
Go you!
Congrats on the great scores and the graduation!!
You are gonna be smokin’ up that stage!
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:04 am
Of course you kicked ass! That’s what you do. I know I’ve said it before but congrats again. Now get to the real news: what shoes will you be wearing to your graduation?
jenny Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:06 am
yeah, you go on with your bad summa cum laude self! that’s awesome, my friend - congrats!
wifey615 Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:11 am
Let the haters hate, it gives you ’something else’ to strive for…may your list of haters be a mile long, that way, you know you are ‘kicking ass’! I love haters, makes me work harder to piss them off even more -but that’s just me
Also, congrats on the graduation. I know you’ve worked hard, so this, this is well over due!
Summa Cum Laude RULES!!!
NOW, wheres a pic of the outfit???
chris Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:12 am
You do kick ass!
Congrats. And yes tell us about the shoes….;-)
xoxo
Yvonne Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:40 am
Congratulations Kelly. Summa Cum Laude FINALLY! You have worked so hard for this. I hope you have a spectacular graduation. I miss you muchly. And congratulations also on the wonderful scores.
Pic of the outfit and the shoes must be posted ASAP!
Love you xoxoxoxoxo
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 5:56 am
You totally kick ass.
Great job!
dawn Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:16 am
Isn’t it sad when you still get beat down whe you succeed. Those kids, I feel for them. I worked in a district that was like your school and our students were so ingrained with societies view of them that so many of them stopped caring. It is important that they have someone like you who tells them they are smart and are capable.
Summa Cum Laude!!!!!!!!!! What can I say Kelly, other than you frickin’ rock. I hope you find the job that you want. But I hate to say it, it sounds like you are pretty amazing at the job you have. Keep it up and rock those red shoes….
Elizabeth Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:16 am
Hot Damn Woman! Way to go!
I’m not sure which to congratulate you for first, though. The Great Return To Blogland or that itty bitty thing called–what was it??–Oh, yeah. Totally rocking Summa Cum Laude! I read a joke once in Playboy once (probably my dad’s) and the punchline had Summa Cum Laude in it. Of course I don’t remember said joke or if it would even be appropriate here so…Way to go Kelly!!
Oh, wait! NOW I know what to congratulate you for first: kicking ass on those writing scores. Now you really rock.
Nice to see you. *hugs*
Karl Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:41 am
Nice way to wake up, finding a rare post from the Mocha. Congrats on the big graduation. Gorgeous nerdy women are the hottest.
CJ Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:54 am
Congrats on everything. Yeah, you kick ass! Maybe the degree can help you get the job you want, especially the summa cum laude part. Strange that yours will say that on it when mine didn’t. Lucky you. : )
dana Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 7:18 am
Congratulations Kelly! I’m so proud and excited for you! You work so hard at what you do, you deserve more than that diploma, you deserve a big fancy party in your honor. I’d throw one, but I’ll be at the zoo this weekend. With my mother. Who hates driving in Milwaukee. She’s forcing me to do it. Wish me luck.
But you! You!!!! I just love you so much I don’t know what else to say except. You KICK ASS, sweetie!
Nora Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 7:23 am
Congratulations again! Reading scores, graduation, it is like an academic Christmas for you. Including some nice fights with some jerks who can’t just be happy for other people, like that sister-in-law who is jealous of what you have so she makes fun of it. Thanks for posting, I needed a little shot in the arm this morning.
ChicagoDave Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 7:33 am
Indeed! You DO kick ass! Happy Teacher Appreciation week and way to go!
Brenda Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 8:34 am
That you do! CONGRATULATIONS on all of the above!!!
deannie Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 8:37 am
Wow - 9/10 of apoint behind the magnet school? That is awesome, Ms. Literacy Coach! You are not only personally Summa Cum Laude, you make all those around you rise to the occassion. If that isn’t gifted teaching right there, I don’t know what is.
Your excellence will be rewarded, it is just a matter of time now to discover how and in what form that lovely surprise will be presented at your door.
You inspire me too. I just love that
Many hugs,
Beckie Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 8:49 am
Congratulations on both achievements - kicking ass and the graduation! I’m happy that you updated us.
RWA Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Great work - at your job and your own schoolwork!
You handled the kid right. That would hurt me as well to see their success tarnished.
God help that newspaper reporter if you ever see him/her on the street!
Karoli Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 9:23 am
I am standing and cheering for you! The diploma and the kickass test scores are awesome.
As to that journalist…well. I had a similar experience here in Sticks’ freshman year, and 4 years later Sticks is graduating with a full scholarship in jazz studies at the college of his choice and that journalist isn’t anywhere to be found.
Sometimes there is divine justice.
coolbeans Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 9:30 am
Congratulations to your students and their teachers and to YOU for graduating. You were overdue for good stuff.
Lara Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 9:31 am
darling red shoes? new shoes? pretty shoes? shoes?
wait, did i miss the entire point of the entry? sorry. i got distracted by the shoes.
*scrolling back up*
congrats on graduating! work them shoes across the stage.
you do, indeed, kick ass.
i’ve been thinking of you too, sending good thoughts. i suppose if i were a better bloggy friend i would have sent them via email instead of just sending them out into the air. if it’s any consolation - and it’s likely not - i think of you pretty much whenever i buy new shoes!
chris Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 10:22 am
You certainly DO KICK ASS!
It is AWESOME that your school received such a high score! YEY for you all! Media flea can kiss your fairy dust hindquarters
Missed you. Glad to hear your voice again
mannyed Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 10:26 am
hell yeah you kick ass! Summa Cum Laude, that’s amazing! But you already knew that. Strut your stuff when you pick up that diploma!
Congratulations to you and the students on those high marks!
Sam Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 10:43 am
Thats right you kick ass! You are the ass kicker. That sounded so much better in my head. Its so awesome to hear from you again. I love reading your blog…I can support your habit if you’d like (coffee that is). I work at Starbucks. Let me know if you’d like some free coffee.
Sam
Busy Mom Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
Dude!! WAY TO GO!!!!!
Mocha Momma Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
Dang. I really thought, I mean really thought that no one would be reading me much. Look at you! Here you are!
You’re making a comeback easy.
Thank you everyone for the well wishes. I, Mocha Momma, do hereby vow to post pictures of the shoes and the dress and maybe I’ll be in both of them when the pics are taken. Mmmkay?
Must go practice strutting in the shoes now…
Rebecca Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 2:22 pm
Congratulations on a job well done!
Mel Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
Yes. You do kick ass. But you knew that already.
Straighten those wings, fairy godmother. The pixie dust is flowing, and hopefully the upward thrust will have you floating high above it all really very quite soon. The pendulum turns and eventually we swing back the other way - the good way. The way that has good chocolate, hot coffee, and hooker heels. We all need more hooker heels.
Kisses.
Mel
kate5kiwis Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
*screaming*
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
who knows if we’ll ever meet IRL, but i feel such an affinity with you chick, another young teen mommy who has *made something* of herself. you are out there girl, and all the family koves ya.
seriously, the no-job pales into absolute insignificance next to this h-u-g-e achievement:
i know this sounds emotional (and i’ve even had 2 espressos this morning, so should be on top of the world lol)…. but…..
*i salute you*
:o)
Miranda Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:19 pm
Kelly. We’re ALL proud of you.
Beth Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:20 pm
w00t! Go you!
And can I tell you the first thing I unpacked in my new house was the coffee maker, the giver of Life? I thought you’d appreciate that.
Tom Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 3:52 pm
Way to go Kelly. I’m sure all of your Omega-Mu sisters are proud of you.
“That’s sweet. It makes me tingle.” WOW! I always knew I did that for you.
Tom (member of Lamda-Lamda-Lamda since 1983)
MizAngie Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:26 pm
Yes, Ma’am, you do indeed kick ass. Congratulations!!
Mrs RW Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 6:58 pm
I’m having so much fun picturing the red shoes setting off the swishing of the robe as you promenade to “Pomp and Circumstance”. PS: Wear waterproof mascara.
sandra w Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 7:12 pm
YOU ROCK! I’ve missed you. I’m very proud of you and I want to be just like you when I grow up…eventually!
Heather B. Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 7:36 pm
You most certainly do kick ass, my dear. Congratulations!
Yolanda Said,
May 11, 2007 @ 10:28 pm
Congratulations!!! I am immensely proud of you- you are such an inspiration in so many ways
Beth Said,
May 12, 2007 @ 11:18 am
YOU ROCK! CONGRATS ON BOTH ACCOMPLISHMENTS. I feel for those kids. I wish people, espesially journalists, would realize that what they say has so much impact on kids. It’s good that they have you.
scout Said,
May 12, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
You totally kick ass.
Sascha Said,
May 12, 2007 @ 9:09 pm
*applauding wildly*
You Go Girl! Congrats on the ass kickin’ and the graduating, and most especially the Summa Cum Laude-ing!!!
Well done, my friend! You Rock!
Dorothy Said,
May 12, 2007 @ 11:21 pm
You go girl!!
krista Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 8:10 am
I saw a card yesterday that said, “The tassle was worth the hassle!” Cute.
Happy Happy Happy Congratulations. You rock Mocha.
deannie Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 8:23 am
You thought we would GO AWAY?!? You weren’t that good in your childhood. Like a bad penny, we just keep coming back….
Mommela Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 9:43 am
Why, yes. You do kick ass.
And if anybody has a question about that, I’d be happy to have a little, uh, conversation about it. Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it: a conversation. [electronic smiley face]
You rock. Your students and their ass kicking test scores rock. Summa rocks. And, although I have yet to see them, I’m absolutely certain your shoes kicked some serious ass, too.
J to the Wall Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 2:31 pm
You kick ass.
Our school kicked ass.
Your mom’s shephard’s pie kicks everyone’s ass!
P.S.
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
I am SO sorry I didn’t make it to your party….
I am still not done cleaning!!!!
Ami Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
Wahoo!!! You DO kick ass! We would never expect any less from you!
Happy Graduation! Happy Mother’s Day! And Happy Comeback!
-S. Said,
May 13, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
You Go Girl! Congrats! You Rock!
Sorry I am a few day late. So glad you let us know. Now that you are done with all of the school work, maybe you’ll have more time for us!?!?
Have a great Graduation and Mother’s Day.
-S.
Cynthia Samuels Said,
May 14, 2007 @ 5:31 am
As many of my young friends would say, OMG!!!!!!! Summa! I keep saying nice things to you but I am out of words. I am proud to be your friend!
Josh Said,
May 20, 2007 @ 7:36 pm
Man, I’m playing catch up here (remind self to never be away from blog central for long period again).
That’s so awesome about the scores…you kicked some MAJOR ass…
For my school, it’s more like the red-headed stepchild. I hate that schools like ours get bad publicity like that.
Anyways…congrats on those results.