That story of the African-American mom coming up to the school for her daughter really struck me. It’s sooo true that we are too quickly (mis)judged, at a glance, and totally misperceived! It’s wonderful that you said something so simple, yet sweet and gentle, to that mom, as im sure she really appreciated feeling supported in that way.

Great post!

@ SweetWifey on Twitter

Your platitude is most correct and I hate that anyone ends up judging. I’m sorry for the assumptions people make and I can only try to stop myself from making those mistakes. May you be judged for your thoughts and heartfelt actions only.

(Pardon the Platitude) Judging sucks.

That aside, I do have a question about your story. Why didn’t she want her daughter to go to the hospital??

Thank you. That is all I can say. Thank you.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
– Mohandas Gandhi.

I am a white woman who taught in an all black school. Being the minority not only on campus, but in the community where I worked, I think I learned a lot. I can remember running off campus to run to the bank and being the only white person there. I felt slightly uncomfortable, not in any way unsafe, but like people were staring at me, wondering what I was doing there. I felt a little like I was intruding – on a bank – how lame is that?

I can remember wondering if this is what it is like to be a minority in a majority setting. I do have to say, I think I gained a whole new understanding of race, and sterotypes, and prejudice. I can remember being horrified by the way the principal spoke of the students and their families. especially out of the earshot of anyone who wasn’t white. She would have been judging that Mom at your school for the way she was dressed, she would have made comments.

Until I taught there, I thought people who spoke of racism and the day to day difficulties of being a minority as using excuses. Never again. I totally get it now. I totally get the undercurrent of disrespect, and prejudgement that minorities deal with. My nephew is Hispanic, and even though he’s four, my sister worries about it all the time. She’s right, it will have to be a real concern for his life.

I like your notion of Practice Black Person. In my life I have been Practice Jewish Person and even Practice Female Person. When people say (and they have) ignorant things my knee-jerk instinct is to get snarky, but it’s better to gently correct and try to educate. I applaud you for doing this beautifully.

Is race the first thing I see when looking at a person? Sure. But it’s taken for what it is (the same way I’d notice if the person am looking at is a guy or a girl) and I make no assumptions as a result. I could very well have pictured a white woman in your story, Kelly–or even a Pakistani woman.

I’ll admit to stereotyping. I tend to go for the “positive” stereotyping (is that even possible?) rather than the negative as a general rule. “Really, your from India? Oh! Can you teach me how to fold a samosa?” I’ll admit to stereotyping based on appearance–not race. Wearing too tight and too short shorts and a tube top (no matter what that person’s race)? I’m guessing that your not a nun.

Lastly, what qualifies one as a mommyblogger? And do I have something to worry about because I’m a mom and I also blog… occasionally about my kids? Why is there a general hostility to mommybloggers?

As always, I leave here thought provoked. And that’s a dangerous thing at nearly 11 at night.

Good night!