I got a curly perm thinking that would be a nice change and would keep my hair from going flat by the end of the day. It’s the first perm I’ve had since the 80s when every white woman in Texas had a curly mullet-looking ‘do. The back looks okay but the hair around my face looks like I stuck my finger in the light socket. VERY frizzy and fuzzy. I shouldn’t have let her talk me into the “fringe of bangs” that would soften my face. Note to self: Do not get another perm in the summer when it’s 80-90% humidity every frickin’ day. I’m very bitter about hair right now…

While I also consider this a must read because it makes me laugh, I also have to come and see one of my curl gurus. I think us curly headed girls need to stick together! ; ) I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, I am still trying to figure out how you got them to behave so well for a photo. Mine always like to stick out their tongues.

I grew up in the sticks, country, farmland, etc, so we did not have many blacks in our area. As our city started expanding they started drifting into our area, but there is still only one black family in my parents neighborhood, which is pretty rural. I have had black friends over the years and never really thought about their color. Most are not too interested in my likes while growing up, showing horses and dogs. It was and still is, pretty rare to see a black person competing in those areas. I really do not know why.

I was in Jr high and had a crush on a black guy that was in high school, he played football and we both taught in the same kindergarten class at our church. I would imagine that people feel more comfortable with you and your writing. You have the ability to get to the point without humilitating or being rude. I know I am rambling and don’t know if this anwers you question or not.

As to the hair, I have very kinky curls and hate it when people want to touch it all the time. It is hard enough to keep them from frizzing without anyone touching them:o) It is even harder as my hair is long and just calls to them!!

I usually don’t get lost that easily.

I do have very curly blonde hair. I do not like people touching my hair or commenting on curls, they are the bane of my existence.

As I said I come here because I enjoy reading what you write. You make me laugh, cry and you educate me. Sometimes I forget that you are a woman of color, but then you’ll put something in writing and I’ll be reminded that you have had different experiences than I….and I appreciate you even more.

I was extremely lucky to have been raised by a woman who was color blind. As a teacher my mother accepted all who came into her classroom and into our home. Color, religion and sexual orientation made no difference to my mom, she was way ahead of her time. We lived in the whitest of communities too! Eyebrows certainly waggeled at the boyfriends my sister brought home in high school hehehe. Tall, dark and handsome to say the least. Unfortunately my parents moved when I was in high school to a different community and I didn’t date until college.

I wish my children were as open as I was raised to be. But this community they grew up in is much different and less tolerant. There was much less exposure to different people and cultures…stupid little town. They are seeing new diversity at college.

I know I rambled here…but I think it comes down to this…as an educator and writer you are extremely articulate. I not only come here to read but to learn. Your classroom is a safe place to do that.

So please keep teaching me!

I can’t really say why folks feel comfortable speaking on race here, other than you’ve made them feel comfortable. It’s just like a welcoming home, or a relaxing day at your for favorite coffee spot. It’s just feels like whatever conversation that is going on, I’m welcome to have an opinion. The internet is vast, but you make it feel as if in this small spot, everyones thoughts are important and relevant. A rarity? Maybe. More significant is that it is simply a lot to read out there. You make me feel like I can be myself and take my shoes off (holey socks or not). Race is one of many hard topic to discuss, but you make folks feel like they are at home and able to reveal honest thoughts on variety of things.

I don’t get the whole weave/extension thing either. Maybe if everyone stopped talking about hair altogether, it would no longer be a topic of confusion.

Oh, and about the hair thing, totally not alone. When I met my future MIL for the first time, she had to grab my curls and pet my head. Kinda made me want to grab her boob and see how she reacted. The politics of hair are weird regardless of race. I grew up around straight haired blondes and I have curly dark hair, and I couldn’t get a decent haircut until I moved to a large city.

That whole hair touching thing is a mess. One thing I hate to see is when all the little black girls in a classroom find some long-haired white girl and just stroke, and pull, and play with it for hours, like they have nothing they’d rather be doing in the world. That’s easily as annoying as the whole ‘your hair is softer than I thought it would be’ comment.

When I was in Undergrad, I would only read the school paper if it had a racism article. A whole anti-racism movement rose up when I was there, so the paper got pretty exciting for a minute. I think there is a salacious element to your discussions of race here. You really manage to bring it up very eloquently, and in a non-confrontational way so that people feel safe to comment on this exciting, but usually scary topic. I really appreciate the doors and the dialog you open. You’re great!