In lieu of a post this illustrious Friday morning (and I will get to the recipe, people! The emails begging and pleading, my word. And no, I will not come collect your children and houseboats as payment I will just do it for free) I have some questions.

First, however, I should say that I learn best by discussing and talking. My report cards in elementary school claimed that I was a “social butterfly” which got me into quite a bit of trouble. Then, after researching learning styles in my education undergrad I realized that this was a good thing! Those teachers weren’t allowing me time to digest materials and let my creativity flow through! This means, of course, that now that I’m an educator I have to allow for those learning styles and being the master teacher that I am, tra la la, I do.

I’m digressing so let’s get to the point. Because I thrive and learn and live on interaction I need some feedback to chew on. This stems from all these conversations that are going on (at least in my neck of the internet) about race and blogging and community (and if you’re sick of this for now, hold on, because I need something from you, too) and it’s getting me to wonder.

Why do people feel safe reading about race here? Why do they want to comment and why is it that I get more email about that lately than anything else?

How is it that a community of readers is cultivated so that there is a fair amount of respect and healthy learning taking place? That wasn’t intentional on my part, but it rather happened organically. If I were to try that again, how would I go about it?

Finally, what is it about the politics of hair (black, white, you name it) that divides us to the point of total misunderstanding? For instance, a black girl will have a “weave” whereas a white girl would have “extensions”. Huh? The questions and issues of hair are ever present for me and right now I’m au natural with the free flowing curls (not kinky curls, either because gah! that makes me crazy when people say that due to the negative connotation) and if one more person comes up and grabs one and says, “Boing! These are fun!” I’m going to put my finger up their nose and yell, “Zing! I got one!”

While I could talk hair all day, I won’t. I’ll leave you to comment on the above. While you’re at it, you could combine all those questions into whatever the answer for this is: is there a reason Tyra Banks is beginning to look more and more like the white woman that Michael Jackson wants to become? Seriously. Girlfriend looks ridiculous.

*I tried posting this in the morning. No dice. I’ll post the Fried Mac and Cheese recipe soon.

Tonight there is a Podcast tonight with Glennia from The Silent I and Jason from Daddy In A Strange Land. In fact, there is a new button on my sidebar that you can click to get there. It’s at 9:00 pm EST and we’re discussing Inclusion & Exclusion: Where Are The Bloggers of Color and Why Aren’t We Reading Them? Actually, I thought it was just on “Race & Blogging” but Glennia mentioned this title on Kimchi Mamas and I didn’t want to look stupid like I didn’t know what the topic was.

Callers on the show are welcome (646) 915-8634 but the most exciting thing is that I’ll be doing my best to disguise my otherwise deep, Midwestern voice.

Among other things we’re discussing how ethnicity and cultural identification affect writing, perceptions about the lack of bloggers of color, and that whole PR can of worms I opened. I’d like it to be known, however, that I opened the can. Stefania ripped that top off with her teeth and growled with dripping saliva all over her teeth. I love her for that.

My less-than-stellar response would have been Listen up, bitches!

To be honest, it would have sounded more like this:

Dear Public Relations Folks Who’ve Been Ignoring Me,

You’ve surely seen my Google page rank. Well, by now you have because you’re wondering Who is this loud-mouthed woman anyway? Those of you who have written to me or about me have even admitted that it’s higher than some of the white-middle-class-stay-at-home-mom’s blogs you pitch. But you defend your position. You say that you don’t know what I’d like.

Let me tell you.

I want a mop that doesn’t crap out on me every 2 months.

I desire a shampoo in a hotel room that doesn’t “Add Body” because you really need to pay attention to the fact that we don’t all need body added to our hair.

I wish for a make-up for my face that actually matches my skin tone and doesn’t force me to mix and apply, mix and apply until I find the right shade because those scientists in your lab can’t seem to do it. Also, I’ll take a “flesh colored Band-Aid” that is truly the color of my flesh. Fleshy colored.

I long for socks that hold shape after washing them more than 10 times.

I yearn for a television show where the main characters look as varied as my own but that don’t adhere to every single stereotype therein.

I aspire to hear that I’m “articulate” or “well-spoken” without it sounding condescending or like a nice surprise for the person uttering that back-handed compliment.

I fancy a pair of jeans that accentuate my hips and my ass without making me feel like I’m “special” just “standard”. (And ones that truly FIT without that stupid gap in the back)

I crave quality writing paper and pens to leave love notes for my children.

I hanker after a good piece of gum that doesn’t burn the holy hell out of my tongue because it’s the FRESHEST, ZINGIEST, MOST POWERFUL GUM ON THE PLANET. Honest to God, I just want fresh breath after my morning cuppa, not a hole in the fleshy muscular organ in my mouth.

I hunger for a good blanket to cuddle up with my kids with that is soft and snuggly.

I thirst for a really good wine that doesn’t turn my ears red.

I cry out for a good, soulful song that makes me feel the kind of cozy that comes on a cool Fall day.

I covet a perfume that smells clean and sexy and yummy all at the same time.

I’m dying for you to know that I go to Target stores to shop because they are my Zen and that online shoe shopping helps me remember that I am a woman because I squeal with delight to find a pair that suit me.

Love, La Mocha

That’s all you need to know, people.

I think I’m fixed. I don’t know for sure, but the 503 people who e-mailed me to tell me that it’s broken can check for me and let me know. How’s the RSS? Is your Google Reader picking me up? Is this updated?

Try leaving a comment. If you click “comment” and it doesn’t take 45 minutes to load, then we’re good to go. I’ll tempt you with a mouth-watering picture I took of the food my mother had frying for me when I got home from work (honestly, the woman comes over to do her laundry and ends up cooking this) because when we went to TGI Friday’s she said, “I can make fried macaroni and cheese better than this!”

And she did.

*Comments are off. It’s better that way. Trust me. But know that I miss you. I miss you so so much that my tummy hurts and I have a hole in my heart so my tummy and my heart ache.

Me: I like Brittany Murphy. She’s a decent actress, but also a good singer. She did the vocals on one of the songs I listen to when I run by Oakenfold.

Mom: Paul Oakenfold? The one who does rave music?

Me: Umm. I don’t know. Rave music? You know him? Mom, you’re the shit.

While you’re sitting there frustrated at me and throwing tennis balls at my head, rest assured: I’m switching servers and hosting sites to better serve you.

Anything for you. Yes, you.

That other place I’m writing is temporary, but for the next week or so I’m guest posting over here. It’s my first “guest post” so I need to know, what should I ask to be paid? If I were housesitting I could easily get $50 a day. Help me out here and tell me what a good asking price is, please?

The first post is up. You can load the page and comment easily and everything.

Anything for you.