Housekeeping stuff
There are some ads that will begin showing up on my sidebar compliments of BlogHer Ads. I’m always so very ten minutes ago. It took 4 separate people asking me and a fantastic Haiku from their people to get me to fill out the paperwork.
Contests! Prizes!
Starting next week there will be some contests going on to win an HP Photo Album. I’m giving away 4 of them. In the meantime, take some Fall pictures as that will be the theme. You know…leaves, pumpkins, football, caramel apples, stilettos… what ever strikes your fancy. It could even be Halloween costume pictures. I’ve been scouring the gorgeous trees here and trying to find some orange leaves and photography shots that make me catch my breath. Easy to do in my neck of the woods.
School Related
Finally, Dana asked some questions the other day that required longer than my own comments had time to respond to, so I’ll answer them here.
What I view in the schools I’ve worked in has been so similar that it gives me a frightening view of what probably happens all over this country. Blacks and Whites don’t always interact in social situations at school (lunchroom, outside, sporting events) as much as I would think they would. Sure, there are many who choose their friends based on other important things, but many of them still seem segregated.
The unwritten rules are just like you said, but they are based on a long tradition and kids at school are just playing out what they see at home most of the time. There is a lot of interaction, though, but I know they are mirroring the behavior they’ve grown up with and there is caution there. Too much caution, if you ask me. It prevents us getting to know one another. That’s easier said than done because I’m overt and all kinds of words that are opposite of SHY.
Oddly enough, the kids I work with are also steeped in a “North Side” kind of pride in this town and will back one another up at any time based on where they’re from and their loyalty knows no color when it comes to that.
Love! Valor! Racism!
There are always so many good comments to read on many of the topics I throw up (no, seriously. Throw up. Take it as you will.) but the equal number of e-mails on the subject are mind boggling. That tells me two things: you honestly want to express yourself in writing and perhaps there is still some fear in saying things in a public forum.
However, Liza gently reminded me that it isn’t just racism. I would never say to her, “You know you remind me of this OTHER lesbian I know…” because if she reminds me of someone it’s another human being. My heart goes out to her for dealing with that kind of ignorance on a daily basis. Because, of course, as we all know, ALL LESBIANS KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND PROBABLY WANT TO TURN ME INTO A LESBIAN,TOO. Because that’s how The Gay are.
Even Tracy, my sister, expressed this to me as I just read in an e-mail. One of the many questions she brings up is this one:
How do we, on the BLACK end, address people in situations like this?
And I’m sick and tired of the question always being, “How do I, as a White person, relate to Black people? Poor, scared little me. I’m so afraid of saying something wrong blah blah blah…”
Anyone within earshot of my mouthy rantings knows that I would respond with snark. It is a gift, this snarkiness.
I know what you mean. I, myself, don’t know how to relate to White people. I mean, why do you people (fill-in-the-blank here)? You’re just so… hard to relate to. Always touching my hair and asking these questions. Geez. Y’all are weird.
But, hey Fam. If you have something you’d like to add to that, feel free in the comment section. Help a sista out.
A Meme Done My Way
I haven’t gotten a meme request in a while because of the lameness-that-knows-no-bounds on my part. But when I got this one the other day and realized that Lovebabz was heading to serve her prison sentence soon, how could I refuse? Still, I have to be different so here goes:
The rules are to list 7 random facts, but in going to Lovebabz’ site (English teacher that I am, that damn apostrophe has me wondering right now) I heard the always soulful Thelonius Monk on her Sonific Songfest and it got me thinking about the 7 songs I’m currently listening to that are all a little bit old school.
1. Step In The Name of Love by Andre Ward. Screw R. Kelly. This one is much better and reminds me that my family loves to dance. My sister, Erin, and I used to step in our living room growing up and this makes me want to go dance with her right now.
2. Where Do We Go From Here? by Staci Lattisaw and Johnny Gill. A little gospely sounding in that feel-good way. Church, anyone?
3. Trouble Man by Marvin Gaye. Makes me close my eyes and wish I were in a cafe in Belgium where he spent a lot of his later years. Still makes me sad to think of that talent gone from this planet. My head moves involuntarily to this song.
4. Baby Come To Me by Regina Belle. This song has been a favorite since I was young. Too young to have understood it, even. Great slow dancing song. Grab a partner and swoon appropriately.
5. Me And Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul. Oh, come on. You know you’ve listened to this song by yourself and tried to scream out, “Meeeeeee aaaaand Mrs. MRS. JONES!” at one time or another. A lovely symphonic accompaniment in this tune. Pour yourself a glass of wine and belt it out. You’ll feel better.
6. Shining Star by The Manhattans. Would anyone like to get a boy band together and choreograph something to this song? I can do jazz hands like nobody’s business.
7. Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough by Michael Jackson. Song. Totally. Stuck in my head. Can’t. Stop it. Mason keeps playing this when it’s his turn to do the dishes. I think he wants it to motivate him, but I just keep telling him to wash the dishes every night so I can hear the song when he plugs his iPod into the speakers near the kitchen. Little does he know…
Feel like doing a meme? Do it for Lovebabz and hand out some linky love. And listen to some good “old school” music this weekend.
September 21, 2007 @ 4:28 pm | Filed under Artsy Fartsy, Education | Permalink |
MizAngie Said,
September 21, 2007 @ 6:52 pm
Good grief. Are you in a retro mood with those songs? And, *snark*, Marvin Gaye is not music - he’s foreplay.
With all the Jena, LA stuff on the news I’ve gotten into some verrry interesting exchanges. My fave thing was to bring up the topic when there was a brother and a redneck in the same place - coaches, co-workers. They respected each other enough to not be themselves, but I loved watching them squirm as they tried to be loyal to their beliefs without being totally insulting to the other. Ya know what I mean? tee-hee. I kept baiting them by saying stuff like, “Well, the white kids had always sat under that tree.” and “Why would they keep the black kids in jail all that time when all they did was beat the white kid up? It’s not like they maimed him for life!”
And I must say, since I’ve been so anti-Jesse, that he took over an angry near-mob yesterday and calmed them. When I first started watching the live feed the whole thing looked like a cluster and the most vocal of the group seemed to be trying to whip the crowd into a less than peaceful frenzy. Things could have gone really bad which wouldn’t have helped anyone’s situation, especially Mychal Bell’s, and Rev. Jackson did a great job of unifying the crowd and keeping the protest peaceful.
FYI. I know what you mean about the hair. I’ve always had long hair and my black classmates, friends, and the kids at work, like to touch my “smooth” hair. Or comb it. And when I see long, sleek, shiny hair I can’t help but touch it. Probably because that’s the kind of hair I always wanted to have.
Dana Said,
September 21, 2007 @ 7:28 pm
Thank you for answering my questions! And I loved what your sister Tracy said, because I used to be afraid of offending my friend.
She rightfully put me in my place. It was several years ago. My younger sister is a rebel. Always getting in trouble, always doing radical things to upset my parents. I was complaining about it and I said in a huff, “My sister is just rebellious. She’s the the black sheep of the family.”
I realized what had come out of my mouth and freaked. I was saying that my sister caused so much embarrassment to my parents, but I thought my friend would think I was being racist.
She said to me, “It’s more insulting that you think I didn’t know what you meant.”
That was the day my eyes were opened very wide. I learned to be real with my friend, and never make such stupid assumptions. I also learned that my white upbringing made me afraid of being white in front of my black friend. My friend wasn’t afraid of being black in front of me! I envied her for that, but I’m also thankful for how she taught me to stop fretting and just…be, I guess.
(I still can’t get the words out as eloquently as others. I apologize if I’m not making sense. I never wrote about this before.)
Lovebabz Said,
September 22, 2007 @ 7:12 am
Sister-friend,
Thanks for the shou-out on the meme! I loved your choice in music–although your missing anything from Donny Hathaway, and you may not be old school enough to dig anything from Ronnie Laws and family. I am feeling old school this weekend–so I am listening to all my “back in the day” music–Teena Maria-behind the groove, Rick James, Chaka, New Birth, Taste of Honey, The Emotions, Slave, yes old school is on all weekend long!
Regarding Love Valor Racism, check the book by Dr. Beverly Daniel Tautum, “Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria?” And Other Conversations About Race. This might give folks a bit more insight into this and maybe a way to flip the script.
Hair Tales
I have dreadlocs to my butt (I am 5′8) and I am always stopped by White and Blacks alike who want to touch and ask me a million questions about my long long hair. And I always get from Sisters “I wish I had the courage to go natural” this always makes me sad. And then the real pisser is when I run into White folks with dreadlocs and they rush to let me know they /we are connected.
Have a fab weekend!
Daisy Said,
September 22, 2007 @ 7:48 am
I keep wondering if I’m racist or not. Is that a strange fear? I live in an area that is still ninety-some percent white. I’ve had a very narrow upbringing.
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
September 22, 2007 @ 10:12 am
You ask, I meme.
EricAtRandom Said,
September 22, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
I think it’s all fear. People clump together by race not because they are accepting or unaccepting of different people. It’s because they fear not being accepted, themselves.
The actual lack of acceptance, I think, comes later, when those in the segregated groups start to reaffirm their concerns that the others are the ones who are unaccepting.
Does that make sense? Growing up a skinny little white boy, I don’t remember ever thinking of a stranger, “I don’t like him ‘cuz he’s black.”. I remember thinking, “He won’t like me because I’m a skinny little white boy.” But, at the same time, my crowd was quite mixed. And we never noticed race within our group… only in the crowds that *had* segregated themselves. And there were plenty who did (even down to things like Italian and Irish — not just by color).
I don’t know the answer… except to always remain part of the mixed group and hope it catches on.
Yvonne Said,
September 23, 2007 @ 4:46 pm
I’m not just afraid of offending you or other “blacks”. However I do tip-toe around you more than anyone else I know. I am petrified I WILL OFFEND YOU OR SOMEHOW PROVE HOW INEPT I AM AT THIS HUMAN BEING STUFF! I feel like I have to be on my best behaviour and impress you, just because you WOW the pants off of me!
It doesn’t help me much that you are the ONLY person in my life who is not white. And this is not by my choice, rather by the fact I am a stay home Mum aka HERMIT/OGRE. I have never treated people differently because of race and I never will. I try very hard to just treat them as people. I’m just not so good at the whole “people” bit as I should be.
I am afraid of offending everyone! Due to my endless fight with this disease I have called “Put Both Feet In Mouth And Mumble The Most Insulting Thing You Can, Without Meaning To, Whilst Digging My Own Grave”.
The doctors tell me there is nothing they can do for me. I must go out into the cruel world, make a more racially mixed circle of friends and ask them to bitch slap me into submission when I say something morbidly STUPID or offensive.
And I apologise for being “the one” that would touch your hair, stroke your skin and just marvel at the wonderful differences between us. (We both know I just need a good excuse to touch you right? You lick, I touch…. all is well). I will however, attempt to stop asking so many stupid questions and start googling more
Or should that be oogling more? Hmmmmm
Yvonne xoxoxoxoxoxo
KC Said,
September 23, 2007 @ 7:03 pm
OK… I love the music Meme.. so I will oblige…
Ciao bella,
KC
Chocolate_matters Said,
September 28, 2007 @ 11:16 pm
I don’t know where you are located but on Long Island black and white children rarely get to interact with one another in a classroom let alone in a school district. Here on Long Island you have white districts and districts with people of color which shows segregation in schools along the lines of race are still prevalent today. 50 years after a landmark civil rights decision and folks still found way to segregate schools here in the north by years and years of block busting (telling white folk that their property value will go down if blacks live in the neighborhood so when the black folk do arrive, white people pack up and leave for greener pastures). It is a sad site to see how funding among schools with a higher ethnic population are lower then schools with an nearly all white population.
As for your song list I have listened to every song on that list (I might need to hear a snippet to jog my memory) except that other version of step in the name of love. I would like to hear that one.
Peace.