I’m going to put out a Missing Ad on the milk carton because, people! Where are you? Oh, yeah. I know. Gearing up for writing daily during November.

So I asked for some assistance writing a biography for a new project I’m doing which will be unleashed soon, perhaps even on November 1 which means I need to haul ass.

It’s possible I have strep throat so I missed work today and under delirious feverish circumstances I wrote the following biography. If it sucks, it’s all your fault. If it’s fabulous, I was indeed NOT feverish, but in an enlightened state of being and this simply flowed forth from the creative crevices of my cranium.

Mocha Momma: The Biography

Educator. Writer. Woman. Flawed.

Mocha Momma was birthed in a coffee shop in the frosty upper reaches of Chicagoland, but now resides in her head most of the time and only comes out to view the yellow brick road on occasion. She is only slightly Pollyannaish and only after being yelled at in an angry voice. She recalls the time her first boss screamed, “Look here you goddamn ray of sunshine, life sometimes does, indeed, suck!” Other times, she is a cynical, mouthy woman who ends up gobsmacking those in the immediate vicinity. She went to college with her 3-year old daughter and studied English Literature to become the hip literate snob she was sure she was meant to be. However, during her last semester at university she visited a classroom with a friend and decided to become a teacher.

She rides her bike through the corn field roads, reads anything she can get her hands on (and yes, she repents for stealing magazines from the dentist’s office) and makes a mean Cajun Fettuccine that comes out differently each time she hankers for it.

When she’s not belly-laughing with friends and pretending that her laugh is whimsical rather than throaty and full of hot-breathy, she can be seen coveting Oxford Dictionaries and highlighting words like “rigmarole”, “pejorative” and “isochronous”, but she is far too immature to stop herself from giggling when she reads the word “sphincter”.

Mocha’s other interests include photography, crocheting, baking comfort foods, and searching for the perfect sarong. She doesn’t want you to know that she’s slightly asthmatic because you’d refuse that foot race she’s sure to challenge you with. She also hopes you gloss over that sentence-ending preposition.

She is currently living happily ever after, but, if you could, please back up and don’t stand on her aura.

So then, I find out that it’s too long. You’ll see what I hacked out and added to the editing when I tell you about that new project. Soon. Hurry up and get found so I don’t have to put your photos on that milk carton. I’ve been worried about you.