Looking for some good advice, folks. LeahPeah asked me recently what advice I could give. I offered something my mother has said to me latterly. Yes, I just wanted to use the word “latterly”.
Best advice given to you. Let me have it.
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“Stop beating yourself up for being human.” — from a mentor in teaching, after I’d made a mistake that upset me terribly. Many years later, with 20-20 hindsight, I realize mistakes are just part of the learning curve in being a teacher.
Five and a half years ago my divorce attorney said (re. my very messed up ex), “Never downtalk your ex in front of, or to your son. If you do, he’ll tend to raise his father up, put him on a pedestal. If you don’t, your son will figure things out for himself. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for that way.” My boy’s 8 now, and he gets it–I never did have to say anything.
On which specialty to pick:
“Pick the thing where the day to day crap bothers you the least.”
It was given to me by a pediatric endocrinologist during my peds clerkship four years ago. Now I get to work with her a lot.
You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself. Meaning, you can only change how you react to people.
“It’s just as easy to fall in love with a reach man as it is a poor man”. Did I follow her advice? Of course not. I’ve forwarded that advice to others as “Marry a rich guy with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. Then you can marry the second husband for love and have the money, too”.
Now, for the real advice: see dink(y) above: her advice will take you through to the grave and save a lot of angst.
I’ve been reading and enjoying for a while, but don’t know if I’ve commented yet…
I’ve been given lots of great advice over the years, but this is one I figured out for myself and it’s now in my standard advice-offered-to-others-bag (so to speak): “Everyone else can offer opinions and advice (good or bad) about your life, but no one else is living your life and no one else is in your relationship but the two of you.”
As in, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of following advice, so make sure what you do is right for you (and your relationship).
Becca
Some may think these cliche’, but the following have been pounded into my head by my mother since I was a child…which I have repeated often, to my daughter!
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
Show respect and receive respect.
Show love and receive love.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Amen!
From my mom: “Never make major decisions at night.”
I can’t remember the first time she told me this, but her point was that everything looks worse at night – problems seem insurmountable, all your strengths seem like weaknesses, and you feel totally alone. But by tabling your fears, going to bed, and then revisiting the issue again in the morning…your whole outlook can change and you can make a solid (and probably more realistic) choice.
The most memorable time that she told me this was when I bought my house. One night at about 11 pm, during the week of the closing, I TOTALLY freaked out – “there’s no way I can do this – I’m never going to be able to make the payments by myself on my salary – I’m going to go into debt – what if I lose my job? – the bank will eventually foreclose on my house and I’ll be living in a box by the side of the road.” You get the idea.
So I called my mom, she reminded me her little saying, so I took her advice and slept on it. And now I’m a happy homeowner who has lived in her home for about 5 years (no foreclosure in sight…*knock on wood*).
“When you sleep with dogs… you wake up with fleas.”
So… no sleeping with dogs.
That what I can think of right now. I’ll think some more later. I’m enjoying the weekend.
“Would you advise a girlfriend to follow this course of action?” Closely followed in the same conversation by “What does doing this say about how much you care about yourself?”
All re: getting back together with a boy who’d treated me wretchedly (I didn’t!) but useful in other situations. Would I tell someone I love this is a good idea? Do I love me enough to do the right thing?
“Kill them with kindness!”
I use this at work when a couple of the woman bring their claws out at me.
“Never do anything you’ll regret five minutes, five days or five years from now.”
“You are not responsible for other people’s happiness”
&
“Beer before liquor, never been sicker.”
I will always remember the words of my father while growing up on the south side (chicago). “Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.”
Have a great day!
“A journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step.”
I especially like using that saying when losing at a team drinking game such as beer pong or corn hole (do you have that game out there?), although I guess it could apply to real life. Try it next time you visit your daughter at college, I think it will really boost moral when you’re down by three cups.
On a separate and comletely unrelated note, how about that Chevy Malibu?
You can’t talk shit about your in-laws- even when your spouse is
Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.
People don’t change…wish I’d have listened to that one…
I swear I got this in a fortune cookie once: “Don’t take things too seriously.” Great advice. Plus, I learned this one later in life, is that I never regret things I did, only things I didn’t do. Maybe that only applies if you’re the world’s biggest prude, like me, but I try to enjoy my life more as I only get one chance at it, y’know?
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.
And listen to Sterling Harrison “Don’t mess with my money”.. pure gold..
Love ya..
Jean
New here. Got tons of advice – some original and some wisdom I’ve picked up from reading.
The one I give out most often is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. A Highly Recommended Book:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best
I have found through my life when I have had issues, disappointments, etc if I would have followed one or all of them I would have been happy. Blessings, K.
well, i am late to this, but there’s one piece of advice that a friend gave us on the birth of our first bubba:
the good thing about advice is that you can take it or you can leave it.
(cos everyone gives ya advice on the birth of a bubba)
and my other thing that i’m all about:
find the *sparkle* in every day.
there’s some somewhere, just gotta find it.
love to you chick X
“Just use your head and you’ll be fine”
A colleague told me this when I started a new job, and it works wonders in all other aspects of life as well.
“If you don’t believe in yourself, sure as hell, no one else will either.” – from my Grandma Helen
I have no idea if she was rambling something off incorrectly or what have you, but I laugh when I think about this advice. It’s kind of true to a point, but I think my parents have believed in me, even when I haven’t believed in myself.