This is cross posted over at Flawed But Authentic which I specifically wrote it for, but it sure it easy to copy and paste.
Some of my friends are more punctual than others. That, unfortunately, determines how ‘on time’ I am when meeting them. If I have to meet one of them at 7 p.m. then I am either sure to leave in plenty of time or else I will leave right at 7 and arrive late. Wednesday I was meeting a Punctual Friend and had to leave an evening meeting to meet her for dinner and drinks at my favorite Pacific Asian cuisine restaurant.
Except I was running late and I had to get gas and the card reader at the pump wasn’t working. And in the cold night air I was forced to go inside to pay.
That’s not a problem. Usually. But there were many people in there and I felt myself briskly walking to beat a few of them to the counter to pay. One of them beat me and instantly there were four others behind me.
Hurry, I was thinking. Come on come on come on. Let’s go. I gotta get out of here.
She was maybe in her twenties and buying only a bag of cheetos and some cigarettes. Her wallet was, naturally, at the bottom of her purse and difficult to find. When she did she handed the clerk a debit card.
Credit or debit? he asked.
Debit.
Come on come on come on. I gotta go. I have 6 minutes to get across town. Credit credit credit. Let’s go. Come on. My head was on it’s own, the gray matter swirling around as I focused on trying not to be late.
It’s been declined. Should I try it as credit?
Ummm. Oh. Yeah. Go ahead.
I wanted to butt in and my manners were going to be compromised. I could just feel it. I was going to blurt out I’M IN A HURRY. COME ON. LET’S GO. CAN I GO FIRST?
Sometimes it’s necessary to bite one’s tongue. Literally. Until you can taste your own blood and shut your own self up. My head kept getting in my way and an unexpected flashback to being embarrassed when my own credit cards have been declined finally got to me.
Sorry. That one’s been declined, too. Do you have cash?
Certainly, she did not.
Five minutes now. Five minutes to drive what will take 11 at most. The numbers began to spin around my head. Six dollars for two items. Five minutes. Seven o’clock. Forty two dollars worth of gas. Six. Two. Five. Seven. Forty-two. Let’s go let’s go let’s go.
My body took over though my mind was still impatient and I stepped forward pushing my credit card toward the clerk.
Just put it on my card with the gas, please.
I didn’t want to be late and in my selfishness that’s all I could think about. I wanted to say, “I’m in a hurry. It’s fine. Let me pay.” but I didn’t. Because at that precise moment my own need to be on time was displaced with the fact that she couldn’t come up with six dollars on a debit card to pay for her items. Being so broke that six dollars wouldn’t be approved at the gas station took precedence over my other consideration.
Protestations would follow. I would decline.
It’s ok, I assured.
No. You don’t have to do that.
Let me.
No, I have to pay you back. Can I pay you back? She took out her checkbook and asked for my name.
I’ll write you a check. Let me, ok?
Nah. I’m not even going to tell you my name.
I smiled at her. I finally got it. Being kind and realizing that not being able to pay for cheetos and cigarettes far outweighed being punctual.
Well, what can I do? she asked. She wasn’t begging or trying to show any shame. She wasn’t poorly dressed. Probably just that normal twenty-something still-owning-college-furniture kind of gal. Probably wondering what a 401K is and whether or not she should get one. Probably having heard of a Roth IRA but thinking she had a few years to even look into that.
You know what? Why don’t you take some time and go volunteer in a school sometime. Go read to a Kindergarten student or something. I’d love it if you did that.
Ok! She finally broke a smile. I don’t know what will happen. I will believe, however, that she will do it. And I will be late for dinner. And I won’t care one bit.
January 21, 2008 @ 10:08 am | Filed under Nice | Permalink |
RWA Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 10:53 am
I don’t think there’s a better example of paying it forward - even if you were late for dinner.
Well done.
I’m betting that she will pay it forward in some way, shape or form.
dana Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 11:38 am
Wow. That is beautiful. What you did was so amazing. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t think that would have ever crossed my mind if I was in a hurry or not.
It sure puts a new light on random acts of kindness, though!
Elizabeth Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 12:00 pm
Everything happens for a reason, I say. Cliche, but so what?
Good for you!
Siobhan Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 1:01 pm
That was very sweet to read, and the perfect Pay It Forward resolution too.
I hope you are well and happy. And since I am such a bad friend, happy new year too. I feel bad for not visiting in such a long time. I have you on my new blogroll though, so now there’s no excuse! I just need to figure out how to make it visible to everyone. Oh, and guess what? Cameron just turn a year old. Where did the time go??
profesora de español Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 2:03 pm
That’s amazing. I’m sure that made her day, her week even. Truly inspiring.
Erin Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Kelly, that is awesome and I sure feel much better after reading this. Who really cares about cliche anyway.
Daisy Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 6:12 pm
If something happens often enough to be cliche, that’s good, right? I’ll guess that she’ll pay it forward somehow, somewhere.
Karyn Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 6:27 pm
That made me cry.
elizabeth Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
What a great story…isn’t it funny where our paths take us daily. Thanks for sharing. *elizabeth
Shash Said,
January 21, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
Beautiful post from a beautiful lady.
Ya done good.
Hope all is well.
S
Cynthia Samuels Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 6:52 am
Sure I love you all the time but this is one of those “over the top” love times. Because this kind of thing happens to all of us and a reminder of how we should be managing is a great reminder indeed. You are not the usual bear, my girl.
Cyndi McCarthy Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 8:21 am
I have a story with the same theme - different outcome. Nearly every morning I would pass an older gentleman riding an old bike to work. As the weather became colder, he pulled the sleeves of his old jacket down over his hands. Every day I saw this and I felt worse and worse riding in my car with the heat full blast and comfortable. I decided I would buy him a pair of gloves. I passed him at the same time everyday, so I left earlier and parked at the corner. As I saw him approach I got out and explained that I saw him and had this extra pair of gloves at my home and wanted him to have them. He said nothing - he stared at me. I realized also that he wasn’t quite as old as I had orignally thought and his jacket had a company name on it. Well, I went on my way and felt better that I had helped. About a week later I was sitting at a red light when my passenger door flew open and he stuck his face in and dropped a card on the seat. I proceeded to work and opened the card. It said that he would like to rub those gloves all over my body and enclosed his phone number!!!!!! After that I changed my route to work and locked my doors. This was about ten years ago and my now-grown children still tease me about this and I still practice random acts of kindness, but I am a little more careful about who I approach. There is no better feeling in the world than helping someone in need.
Kristin Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 11:53 am
The Butterfly Effect! I love this story.
Moley Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
That made me smile loads… Bless you.
Tom Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
Way to go Kelly, she will probably die of lung cancer or a heart attack.
onacita Said,
January 22, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
A lurker coming out of hiding. Believe it or not, I’m a single mom with a great job who happens to look like I’m about 19. The “declined card” has happened to me before, and I was absolutely mortified — but it was the day before payday, what can I say? I’m proud of you, because that girl was probably very, VERY relieved (and grateful).
anonymous Said,
January 23, 2008 @ 7:22 am
I love how even our grumpiness can be a source of grace.