When I was about 5 years old my mother took me to the Jewish Community Center (yay for multiculturalism, folks!) to see about putting me in their after school program following my indoctrination from the Catholic School I was attending. If that’s not enough for some future therapy people, I don’t know what is. I tell you this because while they were monitoring my “play” to see how I would adapt I went over to the Living Room Area and started doing what I presumed to be “play” though I’m sure that fixing martinis and looking for my long cigarette holder weren’t part of that. Still, I grew up wanting those things.
So I’m playing and playing and having a grand old time and then my mother looks mortified - mortified I tell you - that one of the things I’ve been playing with is the potential Jewish teacher’s purse (she was for sure Jewish, but we didn’t know if she’d be my teacher yet). Apparently, I was removing all the items and lining them up and doodling all over her checkbook.
Since then, I’ve decided not to mess with other women’s purses. The Jewish Community Center thing worked out just fine but I was slightly traumatized that they kept a kosher kitchen and I cringe just a little to think that we couldn’t have cheese on our tacos. That’s probably because I also attended a bi-lingual nursery school with many Hispanic muchachos y muchachas.
Seriously. I’m either very well represented or in need of a bong.
So! I say this because yesterday my post about my TYPICAL WHITE MOTHER just got eaten up by my server and it’s still in the process of looking for it so I cleaned out my purse. Which reminded me of the Jewish Community Center purse story and I realized, hey! I haven’t shared that story online yet! so there you have it.
Ok, so I’m going to write about Going Green which obviously the ENTIRE WORLD IS READY TO DO. Have you watched television lately and seen all the Green commercials? The Green products? Wow. I’m proud of you, Earthlings. You’re doing your part. But I have to admit that I am carrying around my camera in the car lately because I long to be featured on the FUH2 website whereupon you flip the bird to those blowholes with the nerve to even own such monstrosities.
In an effort to see if this is really working, I’m committed to checking this site every 30 minutes or so to see if comments are working.
If you came here and just read this and are clicking off, DON’T. I need you. Every single one of you. Leave the comment and back slowly away. You can even link here and read about the woman who went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead. The second comment on the page will make you piddle in your pants. Grab a tissue first.
Or else no tacos with meat AND CHEESE. You don’t want to mess with my Judeo-Christian-Hispanic alter egos.
March 27, 2008 @ 7:09 am | Filed under Everyday Mundane | Permalink |
dawn Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 7:18 am
Hey Mocha Baby…I want to see your picture on FUH2. I thing that site is awesome. I am going to have to carry my camera around with me. I must see at least 6 of those crappy cars a day.
Really do you have to be one or the other. I think you can have the bong too.
Linsey Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 8:47 am
Hi Mocha:
Long time lurker, first time poster. I enjoy your blog very much. Thanks
supersuz Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 8:52 am
ditto what Linsey says
Mocha Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:16 am
Oooohhhh. Lurkers. Hi.
I’m going to make both beef and chicken tacos now. Come on over.
Heidi D. Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:27 am
Hi, Mocha.
I’ve also been reading your blog for months but I’ve never posted a comment . So here I am, saying “hi”.
bree Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:32 am
ok well i am glad to hear that your post aboout your typical white mother was eaten up by your server…i thought i had gone crazy and it was never there. your post today saved me from going to a therapist and saying i’m reading things on the internet that are not really there.
Melissa Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:37 am
@Bree - me too! Mocha, I don’t often comment but I love reading what you have to say.
Fabiola Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Dear Kelly,
It is been a while, but I am coming slowly back to the blog world.
Fabiola
Mocha Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:48 am
I’m going to run out to the store for all you crazy-but-not-crazy folks and get more tortillas. And some gefilte fish.
Jewish Fish Tacos! Ole!
Y’all are making me feel tingly today. Thanks for de-lurking.
lex Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 9:57 am
Just discovered your blog recently, and am doing as instructed.
Hi!
mayberry Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 10:44 am
Commenting. Ma’am.
I died inside when my neighbors started driving a SCREAMING YELLOW Hummer. Thank god they moved away.
PS I did see your awesome post about your mother too.
Mocha Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 11:40 am
If I’d have known you people were so obedient I would have taken out my whip long ago.
How do gefilte tacos sound? Gross to anyone else? Yeah, I thought so.
smtwngrl Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 11:40 am
Hi there! I’m commenting…it’s been a while, I think.
I wondered where your “Typical White Mother” post went. I came over from my reader to comment yesterday and it was nowhere to be found.
Also, as I’m learning more and more about global warming and trying to reduce my own “footprint”, I’m finding it really hard not to judge (or hate) people just because they drive SUVs. It’s not easy. Particularly because my own typical white mother just bought one.
Jessica Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
Why am I commenting? Because you said so? Yeah, I’m good with that. Now go comment on my space but, wait 2-3 days when I get my ads up! Woohoo I can’t wait to make $2.37 next year!
Lady M Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
We drove by a preschool labeled “Chinese Montessori” the other day - should be an interesting experience!
Elizabeth Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
I LOVE that I can live in a multicultural world. LOVE IT!! It’s all about the food, baby! Ok, I’m enraptured by the people too. Sure. Mmm Hmm.
I may be up your way in a couple of weeks. So far the plan is to take the girls up for a symphony (Emily’s violin instructor plays there) the weekend of the 5th. Know any good parks in the area? And do they serve coffee?
Trish Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
Oooh ooh! It’s taco night at our house tonight! That seems to be the only thing my stomach likes right now. The first couple months of baby baking really sucks. I love that you had all the different influences growing up. As a military kid I hated being all over but as an adult, I am thankful. I loved the post yesterday BTW.
Daisy Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
I feel privileged. I must be one of the few who actually had a chance to read your Typical White Mother post! It was great, by the way.
I’ve learned to love Hmong egg rolls. Somehow, the egg rolls at the various restaurants never taste as good. Ah, the joys of a white city changing and diversifying…yum.
V's Herbie Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Hi! fairly new reader here…
I’m glad the post vanished due to technical difficulties and not drama. Your mom sounds awesome, and not at all typical. My mom is essentially June Cleaver minus the housework, and, yeah, typical does not equal good relationship with children.
That diversity thing is awesome… I once knew a two year old who didn’t talk much because he got German and English at home and Spanish and English at daycare. He understood all three languages though!
Mocha Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
Trish! Congrats on baby baking! I loved doing that and my body seemed to extra good at it.
Oh, and Elizabeth? We’re going to Washington Park and I’m taking you for coffee. My treat. We’ll sip and stroll, mmkay?
I’m kind of liking getting back to commenting on commenters. Because I just refuse to Twitter…
Mocha Momma Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
SO
within the time I wrote that, checked my kids’ Facebook pages (they know I conscientously object due to the titty thing) I created a Twitter account.
I am a fraud.
Fungible Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
It took a bunch of reloads, but the comments link *did* load!
Good stuff!
-Fungible
margalit Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
Thrilled to see you on twitter.
Heather B. Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
This whole server/host thing is starting to give me an aneurysm. Or at least make me want to whimper ever 45 seconds as I refresh my site because I want my site back!
I love how I’m complaining here to you as opposed to the powers at be but you understand my pain.
Also nothing makes me happier then getting to stalk you via Twitter. Now when I complain about education policy, pedagogy and my hair you will be there to understand it all.
Elizabeth...mommy...etc Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
I would agree w/ “leg operation commenter #2″…it does truly “stink” that the woman has 2 anuses…or something like that. hehehehehe
*elizabeth
Nora Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
I read the mom post, but lurked. I was going to lurk today but you called me out
.
“Morning breath” that was funny.
While I know fish tacos are a staple near oceans, I can’t help think of something else. Which is why when a local restaurant changed hands and the new owner stated they were keeping the menu the same except adding fish tacos for her and extra long bratwurst for her husband, I nearly fell out of my seat laughing.
Wifey's House Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 7:57 pm
OK, I’ve commented before, but lurk, too! Yeah, well indecisiveness is only one of my flaws.
I guess you’re proof - ask and you shall receive! Smiles!
McSwain Said,
March 27, 2008 @ 8:33 pm
Here in Stepford, I could snap a H2 every day. There are two parked on my street right now, and I live in a cheap condo, for gosh sakes. Makes me want to move from SoCal back to green Oregon.
Missy Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 1:21 am
Hi Mocha:)
Awesome multicultural post…not to mention the FUH2 link. I am going to have to drive around with my camera now and take pictures of all these ridiculous monstrosities that are on base and NOT the miliaty vehicles either (which is another story altogether). There are tons of personal H2s and H3s on base…mind boggling.
Aloha,
Missy
MeL Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 7:15 am
Kelly! My darling! I have a silly present to send to you. Also, I recently bought reusable shopping bags from onebagatatime.com and they are my FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD right now. Huge and roomy and with little plastic stabilizer thingies in the bottom. It’s my first officially green act… well, except for recycling, but I started that in the nineties as part of that whole “Reduse, Reuse, Recycle” thing. I just did the recycling until now, though… now I’m actually taking the other 2 to heart. Haven’t been able to switch to cloth diapers yet, though. My gag reflex objects too strenuously, and a wise woman listens to her gag reflex… especially when pregnant with offspring #3 because, as you well know, a pregnant woman’s gag reflex is basically the evil dictator of her body.
Oh, also, also, HI! *waves vaguely and realizes she has not had her coffee yet* –> coffee!
Fiona Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 9:00 am
Kelly.. comments on. Loved your post on your Mom. Just wanted to say again that I am so grateful for the way you present things. Your writing opens windows to views I didn’t have before…
Oh yea… mmmmmm tacos.
Keis Said,
March 29, 2008 @ 12:27 am
*waves* I’m still here . . . lurking.
K Said,
March 29, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
A little late to the party…but I’m prompted to comment because your post about your mother? I have it in my bloglines still because I was behind in reading! Do you want me to copy and paste it into an e-mail and send it to you?
Cynthia Samuels Said,
March 31, 2008 @ 6:44 am
So I love a kosher life and it can be a real pain - so don’t apologize for being traumatized. I only started four years ago (I write about it a lot on my blog) and still find it odd - am over the cheeseburger prohibition but MISS VIETNAMESE FOOD with pork. IT’s all worth it, but you are not demented because it was odd. LOVE the purse story… and you, of course.
aunt tea Said,
April 3, 2008 @ 12:00 am
typical white aunt stopping by. i can never find the stuff in my purse and i’m quite distracted usually, which is why i so often forget to come over here.
good to see ya hunny.