All’s fair in love and tagging. Or so sayeth Shakespeare. Maybe it was Marlowe? Hard to tell now. That English Lit. degree is lost somewhere in the depths of that junk drawer in my kitchen so it’s difficult to remember.
When I tagged Julie the other day she returned the favor and asked me and a couple of pregnant ladies and even some un-pregnant ones about when they were at their most ‘bangable.’ I’m going out on a limb here to suggest that means when we think we were at our prettiest. Like princesses. Like darling young ladies who felt really good about themselves. Or maybe she meant when I had bangs. Me and bangs just don’t get along.
You really don’t want me to start talking about hair because I’m a curly girl.
Tangent coming up! This one’s for the Curly Girls and Guys. I’m looking at you, Mr. Brilliant Malcolm Gladwell.
I found a new product line called Ouidad and if you visit their site you’ll find where they offer free trials of products after you let them know about your own curly hair. FREE TRIALS, CURLY PEOPLE.
With that said, I suppose I’d better get back on track here, except I feel another left turn coming up ahead.
Growing up with a beautiful, athletic, popular sister it was hard to ever feel ‘pretty’. One story in particular comes to mind when I think about how I’ve viewed myself as a girl, a young woman, and eventually a woman. My father was active in the Jaycees and helped to coordinate all of the events where we lived and, since he was big on staying active, he signed us up for all kinds of marathon runs for charity. We were about 12 and 13 years old at the time. In one of them there were all these celebrities and my sister and I were quite overwhelmed with meeting these people who our parents talked about. We weren’t all that much into Frankie Avalon or Connie Stevens, but we couldn’t wait to meet Smokey Robinson.
After the marathon there was a dinner at a banquet hall where my father took both of us after we’d cleaned up from our sweaty runs and we stood close by our father in the hopes that Mr. Robinson would shake our hands. Maybe we’ll get an autograph!
As we sidled up to him my father very proudly presented his two daughters and he did shake our hands. Smokey, known for his sparkling eyes, noticed that mine were about the same color as his and told me, “Pretty eyes!” and I probably stopped breathing for a second there. Then, my older sister was presented to him and he gasped. “Oh! SHE’S beautiful!”
There was enough of a difference in the way he said that for everyone to notice. I continued to hold my breath except now I was also holding back tears. I knew that everyone thought she was pretty, but I wanted that, too. What little girl doesn’t? My father’s hand was squeezing mine tightly and, in a rare moment of complete understanding from him, he pulled me back into the circle where Smokey Robinson was salivating over my sister and firmly said, “Both of my daughters are beautiful. Thank you for meeting them.”
In what would become a pattern for us, Erin would take me off to the side and reassure me that we looked the same and that none of this mattered and look! Shrimp cocktail! Let’s distract you with food!
If I could fast forward to being 17 I recall having this strange thought that feeling good about myself wouldn’t really happen until I hit my stride in my 30s. It took that long to drop the baby fat from my kids, gain strength from weightlifting, and finally getting control of pimples and wild hair. (See above)
Now that you know how Smokey Robinson helped blow my self-esteem for my teen years, you’ll understand why I like myself much more now and that it took until I was 34 years old to actually have a good picture taken of myself.
I forgive you, Smokey. But you had no idea looking at me how much worth I had on the inside anyway. Now, sing me a sweet lullaby and we’ll call it even.
Average Jane Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:08 am
It’s sad how something like that can stick with you for so long. It’s good that you’re ready to let it go.
Average Janes last blog post..Just How Nerdy Is Average Jane?
mothergoosemouse Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:13 am
Three cheers for your father! And boo hiss at Smokey (although I agree that you’ve got amazingly beautiful eyes).
Thanks for playing. My response to your tag is up over at MGM!
mothergoosemouses last blog post..Maybe if I do this meme, Mocha Momma will let me touch her hair at BlogHer
Jakki Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:27 am
Good Lord lady, you are beautiful! Forget Smokey! He reminds me of the Cowardly Lion.
My oldest son is going through something similiar, he is used to being the ‘one’ that everyone gravitates too…great grades, great looks, great athletic ablity but now his younger brother is moving on up…and I do mean UP. My youngest son is taller than my older son. They are both teens, those years that are sooooo tender yet wild and crazy. You wouldnt believe how many adults say
‘Hey, your younger brothers taller than you!!!’
I want to snatch them by their jugular.
Jakkis last blog post..Jermylah….
Cynthia Samuels Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:33 am
Well Phew! When I read your Tweet I couldn’t IMAGINE geting mad at Smokey but now hearing the story I’m mad too. Except that we DO love when he sings… Honestly, since the moment I arrived at your blog almost two years ago (is that possible?) I’ve thought you gorgeous so my outrage is infinite. (to say nothing of the fact that to EVER compare two children in any way in their presence is waaay rotten.
On the other hand, I AM a Ouidad devotee. To say that I am absurdly grateful for the “products’ is to underdescribe. They are really great, and friends who know her tell me she really did build this biz on her own so that’s another plus. Yay Ouidad! My hair looks so much better that it’s horrifying that I didn’t find it sooner.
Now that that’s established, my gorgeous friend, your forgiving spirit is duly noted for praise - so baby baby don’t cry the tears of a clown — you’ve really got a hold on me and, if you want to make up with Smokey, I second that emotion. SORRY I couldn’t seem to help myself.
mp Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:48 am
I think it’s wild how we have such selective memory…there were at least a million people that told you how beatuiful you were when you were a child..but it’s that one time that you remember… (I’m assuming a million..giver or take a few)
mps last blog post..I hate "mommy-bloggers"
Susan Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 9:42 am
First time commenter here….See, eyes are the first thing I notice about someone. They are the window to the soul after all. I think you have beautiful eyes and so far since I’ve been reading you (thanks to FP), you seem to have a beautiful soul too.
Susans last blog post..Obviously I wasn’t thinking
Dana Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 9:52 am
OH I envy you. I’ve had a crush on Smokey Robinson since I was a little girl…listening to old records of my mother’s….I remember years ago he was featured during half-time of some Super Bowl and I was drooling…. My poor husband (I think we were engaged at this time) says, “You know he’s older than your FATHER, right?” I didn’t care. I salivated over him and his vocals.
Although, had I met him and been subjected to that, I’d have cried, too.
Danas last blog post..Attack of the Pod Preschooler
Blondie Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 11:10 am
Wow–that photo is HOT. As the younger sister of another gorgeous woman, I can’t tell you how many times I was in the exact same position. And she was smart, too. Awards night at the high school was painful more than once.
Anyway, I stopped by to let you know that I wrote about your Blogher interview with my sis on my own blog. I always like to let people know when I do this so they don’t get all weebed out when they discover it like a year later.
Blondies last blog post..Surrender, Dorothy
White Hot Magik Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
Thanks for the Ouidad link, I want to try their product but am too cheap.
I find what you said to be true as well. I may or may not have looked better when I was younger but I am much more confident now and fell much more sexy than I ever did when my body was in better shape.
The comments look lovely too now.
White Hot Magiks last blog post..More Hummingbird Jewelry
jenny Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 1:10 pm
Two things:
1. Thanks for the tip! I’m ALWAYS on the lookout for good product for the curls.
2. It’s interesting how certain moments just stick with us - it’s so often the negative ones that do. But you? Well, I’m always bowled over by your beauty - in photos and in person. All those clown tears must have been clouding up Smokey’s eyes that day.
jennys last blog post..TequilaWeekend: The Recap
Angella Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Hooray for your Dad!
I know all about the awkward years. I never felt comfortable in my skin until I was in my late twenties. The thirties have been even better.
I’m not as hot as YOU, mind you, but I’m alright
Angellas last blog post..Getting Jiggy With It
kate5kiwis Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 2:48 pm
*love* your curls.
i think we finally start growing into ourselves in our thirties.
actually, my “look” is heading backwards towards my teen years lol
mwah X
BotchedExperiment Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
Hey, Mocha. I thought I’d pop over and remind you of the old days on the Fat Cyclist blog.
Unfortunately Elden, the Fat Cyclist and his family are going through a tough time. His wife’s breast cancer came back and presented with multiple metastases. The first round of treatments (including a total hip replacement) seemed to knocking it back again, but it has recently spread to her brain.
It’s a tragic and inspiring story, and I thought you and your readers might appreciate reading about it.
BotchedExperiment Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
My link didn’t make it.
http://www.fatcyclist.com
Lara Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 5:16 pm
yeah, i got no idea what you looked like as a teen, but now? you are smokin’. honestly - it amazes me.
Laras last blog post..You Want a Piece of Me?
JenniferB Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
I was “out cuted” by my older sister AND my younger SISTERS — plural. So yea, I feel where you are coming from. But Wow! Your photo is incredibly gorgeous — so obviously Smokey was blind!
KC Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 7:19 pm
Thanks for the 411 on the curls… a girl can never have enough product for her curls… and god only knows I’m still looking for the right one.
So I appreciate the link.
As far as the rest… I concur with everyone else…
KCs last blog post..A Worthy Meme…
Daisy Said,
May 8, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
Smokey needs to read this. And you, my dear, are gorgeous. Simply gorgeous.
Daisys last blog post..Blogging. Do you get it?
Steve Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 7:47 am
That was quite a story, Kelly. It’s a reminder of the weight such words can carry. Unfortunately, celebrities make unreliable ambassadors of inclusive good feeling. Even a clued in, protective dad wasn’t able to undo that one.
My own dad told me an even sadder story once. He noticed a shy little girl standing in line with her mother and thought he might brighten her day by saying something to the mom about what a lovely young lady she had there. The mom then said, “Oh, it’s my other daughter who’s the pretty one.” How fair can life ever be to a kid like that?
Anyway, I’m glad your own self-esteem made a comeback.
Kim Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
I have always thought that you were gorgeous. It is hard to grow up with a pretty sister, I love mine dearly and we are best friends, but it sometimes smarts!!!
Quidad is awesome for curly hair, of which I have a ton. I love, love their products and have been using them for about 8 months now.
Kim Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 1:30 pm
Re-read my comment, I meant I have a ton oc furly hair, NOT a ton of Quidad:o)
Kims last blog post..We Are Back…
breed 'em and weep Said,
May 10, 2008 @ 9:06 am
Okay, I SO cannot forgive Smokey. Forget it. UH-uh.
xoxoxo
breed ‘em and weeps last blog post..Every woman gets her fifteen minutes
Redneck Mommy Said,
May 12, 2008 @ 8:25 am
You are beautiful. I’m so glad your father knew this even if that old bat Smokey couldn’t see it.
Redneck Mommys last blog post..To All the Kick Ass Maternal Queens Out There