There are 5 school days left. You’re not going to get a sequential post out of me until that’s over and this brain swamp is all cleaned out.
Undisciplined writing coming up. You’ve been warned. Turn left and go grab some smoked almonds or just hop in a taxi and get on to work or start your Christmas shopping now and be the envy of your friends.
Mono hangs on like a mofo. I wish it would have just been some benign influenza. But mofo mono has a ring to it and it’s fun to type. With mono comes unexplained crying and headaches. Sorta fun if you’re the making fun of weepy migraine type.
Every time I see something idiotic like “Say goodbye to cellulite” I want to scream, “Screw off, cellulite! Hasta la vista cottage cheese thighs!” Who wants to send off cellulite with a polite “goodbye”?
On Saturday morning Morgan smiled at me and snuggled up and whispered, “Morning, Momma. Can we go get donuts?” Hot damn, did a chocolate long john sound good right then. I’m a sucker. I did it while the kids were straightening up and when I came home they dug in while I was straightening up and THEN THEY WERE GONE. “There were 12 donuts here, you evil spawn! HOW MANY DID YOU HAVE?”
Mason held up two fingers. Mallory held up one. They simply couldn’t speak while my head was melting. I went trolling through the house for Morgan and bellowed, “NINE? DID YOU REALLY EAT NINE DONUTS?”
My children were strangely quiet around me today.
Work related crises were non stop today. Five days left. Five days left. Five days left. Trying not to count them.
I hit my mutant quotient early today and didn’t much feel like messing around with students but they kept coming into my office.
Lately, I’ve been in a Bob Marley state of mind . “Buffalo Soldier” will make me sing “why yo yo why yo yo yo why yo yo yo yo yo yo yo” in my head for days. Remind me to tell the story about Mallory singing Bob Marley lyrics when she was three. Remind me on Wednesday night so I can write her a Birthday Post the next day.
We watch a lot of “Family Guy” and I can do a pretty good Lois. Peeta!
My gestalt is all off kilter. There were no drugs harmed in the making of this post.
Why can’t grown ups have goody bags after their parties?
Have you ever tried Sterzings potato chips? It’s a really good reason to visit the Midwest. Also, you could come see me and bring donuts.
New realization about myself: I have a really good radio voice. Like Angelica Houston sexy. It’s all deep and throaty and I pronounce things very well. Where can I apply for this?
Tonight after work I was sort of a pill to be around and Mallory summed it up. “We’ll just slap some fun pants on you.”
MacBook Pro. Silver. HOT. Can be used to turn me on. Is there a Sugar Daddy website out there where I can apply to have someone get this for me? Let’s discuss. Wouldn’t this be a great idea? Because the one I currently use belongs to the school district and I want one of my own. This one has a broken mouse pad that doesn’t click and a piece of the arm rest part has recently snapped off. I use the heck out of it and I want my own. Sugar Daddy applications now being accepted.
Slap on those fun pants and bring me a MacBook Pro. Donuts, sadly, will not do the trick this time.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
um….wow
well I certainl hope that you’re doing better, MUCH better, in five days. Though I won’t lie, I think you are super duper fluper funny right now (that’s how my 5 yr old would say it)
Feel better woman!
Trishs last blog post..All Gave Some, Some Gave All
That was a disjointed post, but let me see if I can summerize the important points:
smoked almonds, cottage cheese, chocolate long john donuts, and some Midwestern potato chips
Neils last blog post..“Write Like the Opposite Sex Day” – A Question
5 more days…5 more days…5 more days… It makes a good mantra, doesn’t it? So, when are you coming to Chicago so we can get together, huh??
PS: the new template is pretty – all girly girl.
Mrs RWs last blog post..A 30-year journey
This is what happens when Twitter is down for so long. All the random thoughts rush into one blog post.
Mocha! It’s been awhile. I have some catching up to do. Glad to see you continue to blog through your illness.
The tears of laughter are coming to my eyes right now. Line after line of hilarious frivolity drips from your lips (or is it your fingers?).
Mono eh? That explains the duration and severity of your symptoms my dear. I pray for a speedy recovery.
A Friendly Irish Blessing
May you be the donut monger in your household
May a sugar daddy rise up to meet you and bestow a silvery laptop
May the “Family Guy” bring tears of joy to your eyes
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Rigels last blog post..Trans-racial Adoption
Ugh, I had mono in college. Soooo not fun! And apparently I need to keep from getting tired and rundown because the symptoms can return. Happy “five days left”!
Oh hell no! There’d be WWIII in my house too if I didn’t get even one crumb of a chocolate long john! Especially if I paid for the suckers! I can’t believe one person ate 9 freakin donuts! You poor, poor woman.
Here’s hoping the mono hurries up and gets the hell out of dodge now that Spring has sprung. You need to find a hammock to lay in to soak up some sun. It looks like the rain is finally heading out of our area. Thank God!
Susans last blog post..VBAC hooray!
I really like your disjointed posts. Not that I don’t like your others – these just remind me of that comedian who says things that shouldn’t make sense but that make total sense. I had mono in college but I don’t think I was this funny. I just slept alot.
Heathers last blog post..Scarier Than Vampires
I want the Sugar Daddy but not for the MacPro but a new camera. A Sugar Papa for the Digital Rebel. Yeah….that would be it….
I had mono in high school. Worse 3 weeks of my life. After that, it seemed like it was really easy for me to catch strep which I seem to have at least once a year….Rest easy…after all…5 more days. I could go into my Marley impression but maybe not such a good idea.5 more days
Jakkis last blog post..Critical adjustment
I hope you have a pair of fun pants in white.
Elizabeths last blog post..Things I’m looking forward to on my vacation