Dear Leta Mallory,
I am absolutely going to inflict some flattery on a popular writer by this entry and I won’t feel one bit ashamed of it unless that author finds this and demands that I remove it. I’m lucky enough that you’re now old enough to drink so if that happens let’s tie one on and forget this whole thing. Today you turn two hundred sixty-four months old. You are one old broad, kiddo. Lest you make the mistake to call me old I shall use my standby retort, “You’re only 15 years younger than I. Do you really want to go there?” In actuality, I love and adore and cherish you so much because you are ALWAYS willing to go there and be comical and entertaining when I challenge you. That right there is DARN GOOD PARENTING on my part and if my arms were longer I would pat my own back or box with God. I should give credit to your dad, the one you grew up with and who raised you to be spectacular in every sense. I’m so glad you grew up to be a Daddy’s Girl, too, even if life didn’t start out that way for you. Correction: you grew up to be a GOOFY Daddy’s Girl.
Unfortunately, I can’t really claim that you’ve grown UP because you are the shortest person in our entire family dating back about 683 years. It’s quite strange, but we don’t tire of teasing you about it. It’s not something I don’t think about a lot until you can’t reach the large mixing bowl on top of the cabinets or turn on one of the ceiling fans at which point every available family member is invited into the room to watch you jump up and bounce around. We’re not deliberately cruel. We just don’t have much money for expensive hobbies and this one provides endless entertainment.
We should have known that you were starting to feel short when you always took pictures standing behind your youngest brother. After much consideration, we realized that you were simply trying to choke him. He is, after all, your brother and the baby boy of the family. I do ask, though, that you not kill him before he reaches the age to watch a rated R movie on his own at the theater.
You no longer wet your pants or argue about sucking helium from balloons or create booger museums on your bedroom wall and I take pride in that. You’re headed toward gum disease and cholesterol watching. I’m certain that lighting your birthday candles won’t be that traumatic, but hey! Only 8 short years until you’re 30! Have you thought about that? Has that crossed your mind? If not, then you’re quite welcome for that little seed I just planted into your cerebral matter. Ginkgo biloba is just around the corner. Hold your head up, child, and respect the morning stretch.
For the last four years you’ve made us proud as you took university seriously. After your first semester when you asked me why college wasn’t like what you’d seen on television and the movies I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. You weren’t learning to tap kegs or finding where the best bongs were. You worked and studied and behaved admirably. But you also made me cry every single time you got back into that car after a weekend home to return to school. Not one time was it easy to see you go.
It’s enjoyable to watch you come full circle after already having been to college with me once before. The first time you weren’t even able to read until you tired of me studying all the time and I hurriedly taught you as you picked it up on your own because of your impatience. One time in particular I recall how we both went to the university library and I sent you off to find children’s books while I attempted to cram economics into my head and I said, “Mallory! Read on your own!” and you sweetly asked me, “But mommy. What sound does the B plus R make?” Exasperated, I yelled, “BR! BBRRRRR! IT MAKES BBBBBBRRRRRR!” No idea where you get your restless agitation from, kiddo. That one’s a mystery. But after you learned to read, there was no way I could plop you in front of the tv so I could get my homework done unless “Eureeka’s Castle” was playing. You swore that the sun rose and set on that show.
My favorite memory of you is when you picked up on my love of music and started learning the lyrics on your own. To hear you sing them as if you had the soul of Aretha Franklin in your little four year old body was hysterical. But when I went through the phase of only listening to Bob Marley you were a hit. Your frequent performances in front of my friends got us invited to a lot of dinners and since we were so broke that was helpful, but please don’t think of it as my pimping you out. I remember one time when we were walking back to our little apartment and you were sitting on my shoulders since I was also carrying my backpack full of books and I could hear your little sing-song voice. “Tree little birds. Each by my doorstep.” It took a few rounds of that for me to figure out you were trying to sing THREE little birds. Then you morphed quickly into “Steer it up. Little daaaaalen. Steer it up.” Again, I realized you were singing Marley’s “Stir It Up” in his Jamaican accent.
But it was listening to you play with your toys in your room as you sang, “Could You Be Loved” that was heartwarming. Life was simple and you were happy and didn’t know how broke we were. A glass of chocolate milk could make your day, a pair of cowgirl boots were your prized possession, and a visit from your friend Pei Pei was all you longed for even if he did call you Mowree and looked through the front door mail slot to see if you were home to play. After a day of riding your tricycle in your boots and drinking chocolate milk on the porch with Pei Pei you got your nightgown on while singing reggae as I sat listening in the other room.
You could be loved, Mallory. You are. Happiest of birthdays.
Love,
Momma
May 29, 2008 @ 4:47 am | Filed under Freaky Family | Permalink |
Suebob Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 6:18 am
Happy Birthday, beautiful girl!
Big Mike In Oz Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 6:36 am
Happy birthday Mallory.
Kelly,
If Mallory ever pulls the old card on you, you could always remind her that happy birthday has the same number of syllables as crusty old age, which you now intend to substitute at the cake cutting candle blowing ceremony.
I also noticed that Mallory is hugging someone in exactly 80% of the photos you’ve shown. That’s also a sign of good parenting.
Elizabeth Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 6:46 am
Happy Birthday Mallory!
dawn Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 6:48 am
Happy Birthday Mallory!
Well done Kelly!
Amy in StL Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 7:57 am
Happy Birthday Mallory! This post almost made me tear up at my desk it was so heartwarming.
Susan Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 8:19 am
Happy Birthday Mallory!
Susans last blog post..VBAC hooray!
Angella Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 8:40 am
This was all sorts of wonderful, Kelly! I cannot wait to meet you both
Angellas last blog post..Me, Dot Com
Trish Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 8:56 am
Happy Birthday Mallory!!
I love the love and happiness in the photos. Well done Kelly, well done. Now tell us, what’s your secret?
Trishs last blog post..All Gave Some, Some Gave All
Vicky Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 9:00 am
Wow- she looks so much like you!
Happy Birthday Mallory!
Incidentally, heard you made it into the Dallas Morning News?
Vickys last blog post..I am a bit concerned…
mp Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 10:53 am
What an AWESOME post (much better than the posts to Leta)
Happy birthday Mallory!
Hope she’s already forgiven you for the booger news..
mps last blog post..Bloggy Bling and other news!
sha Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 11:28 am
Congratulations to you and Mallory on her graduation.
Happy Birthday to Mallory…..this was a beautiful post.
shas last blog post..More Love
Miranda Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 11:58 am
Happy 22nd Mallory!!
Kelly, great post; I didn’t want it to end! I echo everyone’s comments: you’re an amazing momma!
Yolanda Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
Happy Birthday Mallory!!!
*sniff* there you go making me all teary again
Yolandas last blog post..Birthday Bear Boys
White Hot Magik Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
Wow! How blessed both of you are!
Jess Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 2:36 pm
Very nice
Happy Birthday Mallory! You just startled me into realizing Mason has already been to college too!
Jesss last blog post..Let’s get it on Summer TV!!!!
Average Jane Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
What a lovely tribute. Happy Birthday, Mallory!
Average Janes last blog post..Average Jane Plays Catch-Up
Dana Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
The last graph got me all teary-eyed. Happy bday, kiddo!
Danas last blog post..Turkeys gone wild
angie Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
Happy birthday to you both! I don’t know if the best thing about having a baby at 15 is growing up together, or that you look so young and gorgeous when she’s grown.
Kristin Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
Could she look anymore like you???
Happy birthday to a girl with a great smile and a great mom!
Kristins last blog post..Damn, The Knee Hurts
Daisy Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 5:18 pm
Sniff. Mine is 21; this makes me want to hug her tightly so she won’t grow up. Oh, wait, she already did. Sniff. Sob.
Daisys last blog post..Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand…
Mrs RW Said,
May 29, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Happy anniversary of your nativity! You are so lucky in your choice of mothers (or is it your mom in her choice of daughters?). Whatever; a match certainly made in heaven.
Mrs RWs last blog post..A 30-year journey
Casual Friday --- May 30th, 2008 - Work It, Mom! Blog - Work It, Mom! Said,
May 30, 2008 @ 5:08 am
[...] Do you write monthly newsletters to your kids? Only Kelly could make it up to Month Two Hundred Sixty-Four. [...]
KC Said,
May 31, 2008 @ 7:02 am
Oh… wow.
Sorry belated birthday Mallory!
I have tears in my eyes…
Love,
KC
KCs last blog post..Alma College Update…
KC Said,
May 31, 2008 @ 7:04 am
Oh wow… happy belated birthday Mallory…
MM… that was beautiful… indeed you are both very lucky to have each…
KC
KCs last blog post..Alma College Update…
Tom Said,
May 31, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
That’s funny with the Bob Marley. Mine does the same thing. I have to be carefull what I listen to when we are together. She has grown fond of a few songs with lyrics that a 7 year old shouldn’t be singing.
Toms last blog post..Would You Tell Your Boss?
chris Said,
May 31, 2008 @ 9:19 pm
Gorgeous post. Happy Birthday to Mallory
chriss last blog post..Dear Miles,
Mom2Amara Said,
June 1, 2008 @ 6:49 am
The apple sure doesn’t fall far from the tree. She’s gorgeous. I hope one day I can write something as heartfelt to my daughter.
Hope her birthday was spectacular.
Mom2Amaras last blog post..just please stop saying sorry
Wifey's House Said,
June 1, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
What a great newsletter - smiles! Hope she had a great birthday!
Wifey’s Houses last blog post..Mama’s Boy
dana Said,
June 3, 2008 @ 11:27 am
Happy Birthday, Mallory!!
This love letter made me cry a little. I love Momma/Daughter moments. It makes my heart swell.
danas last blog post..Acci-Dental
Rigel Said,
June 3, 2008 @ 11:48 am
You look like sisters!
Rigels last blog post..Of Course They’re Scissors
Tricia Said,
June 6, 2008 @ 2:14 pm
Your pride in your daughter is so loud…
I can only imagine the places you’ve traveled with Mallory in the last 22 years…emotionally, physically… finishing high school, college, relationship(s), pursuing your dreams, marriage, Mallory’s sperm donor, subsequent children…
Pound yourself on the back, because you deserve way more than a pat.
Tricias last blog post..The Two Vowels
Chookooloonks Said,
June 8, 2008 @ 7:07 pm
Happy birthday, Mallory! And if you’re any indication of what a young Marley-loving child might become, as the mother of a young Marley-loving child, I’m breathing a huge sigh of relief. And excited anticipation.
Wishing you (and your mom) many, many more happy years.
K.