My younger sister, Tracy, once jokingly told our mother that when whites and blacks get together to make babies they should sign an agreement that they would pay for the hair care for those children for the remainder of their lives.
I’m going to have to agree to that.
I didn’t learn how to do much with my hair until I was in my 20s and my best friend from college, Tammy, helped me moisturize it and straighten it and keep it from looking like a Chia pet on crack. I owe her my life but she’ll just want to use my uterus to grow her a baby someday since she’s probably not going to be able to carry it herself.
She was smarter than my sisters and I and has that agreement written in blood already.
Since I said I would post about my hair, oh, something like 7 months ago I figured I would do that today. It’s a time sensitive process that requires a good brush and these 5 products.
The products have an order in which they must be applied and brushing the still-wet hair must take place after every new application. If it becomes dry too quickly I have to start over and run my hair under the kitchen faucet. It’s very exciting. See how much I love doing that?
First, I spray it with Schwarzkopf’s Bonacure Moisture Kick and that is crucial because it keeps it from becoming too dry. It seems like the other products stick better when I use it.
Next, I put in Arosci’s Super Scrunching Creme that is purple and smells very good. You will want to put it on a salad but resist! Don’t do it!
By this time I have to add more moisture because I put on the product and brush it through and it’s becoming more dry but I have all this working with my fingers to create some curls. To keep it moist while doing this, I spray Motions Leave-In Conditioner.
Then it’s time to put some shine into it so I use Farouk Systems Biosilk and work it through. Tip: whatever is leftover on your hands makes a great skin moisturizer so rub it on your elbows.
To help the resistant hair I take a few pieces and twirl them around my finger so that they set in a curl.
Most of the time I forget to spray the ends of them and they might look dryer on the ends.
Now it’s time to work in some more moisture so I add another few sprays of the conditioner and then it’s time to scrunch. Aussie Scrunch Spray is probably the cheapest product I use. Just for fun I added up the 5 products and this daily task costs nearly $54. Mom and Dad? COUGH IT UP, FOLKS.
It shrinks up as it dries and to get the full effect I took one picture where it’s still pretty wet.
This next one is after about 2 hours. By this time I’m getting a little weary of the curls falling in my face so I use a barrette to hold it back, thus exposing my fivehead.
You’re riveted, I know this. Especially the men who read this site. Oh, shut up, guys. This will help you appreciate the time your woman spends in the bathroom. Women already fathom this.
There you have it! After this I usually have to empty out my brush and could probably make a baby wig with what I have brushed out. Why I am not currently bald with all this loss of hair is a mystery.
One more thing: with all the spraying of products and brushing of wet hair I have to use a bathmat or else I will slip and slide in the bathroom after this ritual.
Can you please leave comments telling my parents to write me a check?
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh dear Lord. I now take back every time I’ve ever wished my hair was curly. I take them ALL back. I wonder how my girl would look with a crew cut?
Wendys last blog post..Skipito Friskito (clap, clap)
Forgot to add..
But it looks so damn cute!
Wendys last blog post..Skipito Friskito (clap, clap)
I love your hair. I have super thick and kinky curls; I pick through them in the shower, use Redken’s heavy Butter leave-in conditioner, and in the summer I use Joico curl stuff and air dry. I don’t touch my hair once I’m out of the shower until it’s dry though because it will literally become the texture of dandelion tuft. When it was really long it had a habit of breaking rubberbands.
Danas last blog post..A Day in the Life
It looks AWESOME and even though you use a million dollars in products I would still trade you my fine flat hair.
Personal question: How often do you have to wash it? I would think the mixture of white girl hair would make it more often than if it was just black girl hair. The white and black girls in my office freak because I HAVE to wash my hair daily.
mps last blog post..Men! You can’t shoot ‘em.
Oh, Dana. I’m probably going to go out and buy those products. How much do I need to add to my parent’s bill?
mp – I wash it 3 or 4 times a week when I go curly, but mostly just use conditioner. Hardly ever use shampoo. When I straighten it then I only wash it once a week. Sounds gross, but it stays pretty clean and gets better looking by the end of the week. Somewhere around day 4 it RAWKS.
Dang girl! OK, now what I want to know is how long this takes and how often do you wash your hair?
Lias last blog post..Bedtime Routine
Love the Chia Pet comment… that’s actually what my stylist used to call me. She had to “go back in” several times after drying it. I explained this to the new one when I moved who thankfully had some serious hair. She didn’t even have to go back in not once!
And I highly highly highly recommend the TiGi Bed Head line, Curls Rock. My daughters and I use it. The boy just gets trimmed whenever he starts to look like a Q-Tip.
Sugars last blog post..City Girl
fivehead?
I’ve never heard that term before, what does it mean? (Remember, ignorant, hodge-podge northern isolated indian/white/whatever girl here!)
Lia – That whole thing takes about 15 minutes. The hairwashing I answered above. Look up!
anji – My forehead is huge. It’s a 5, not a 4. Sorry. Old joke from my mean sisters.
What a great post! I’ve always wondered how you did your hair! It also gave me a great idea for a post of my own. “How My Wife Colors Her Hair” I can sneak around with my camera and take pictures of her going through the process. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.
Nice forehead.
Toms last blog post..Its (I’m) Not Unusual
Reason #84 why I have short hair: I have no patience for products and maintenance.
That is quite a process but the results are beautiful.
Hey Mocha’s parents! You should at least give her a gift certificate at a beauty supply place.
sizzles last blog post..Hello. It’s Nice to Meet You.
Your hair looks fab, if I told you how long it takes me to “style” my hair you might cry!
I asked you parents about the check and they said its in the mail!
What do you wash with??
I’m with Sizzle, gift certificates would be nice or at the very least, random packages of beauty products delivered on your door-step.
gorillabunss last blog post..do you know what I would like to read?
I feel your pain. I have the same hair — though both of my parents are white. Therefore, I have to say that the “parental haircare fund” should extend to all curly-haired off-spring, regardless of race, creed, national origin, etc…
I, too, didn’t know how to deal with it until my 20s, but honestly, I don’t think they made products to tame wild hair until the 90s anyway. Before that, everything was made to give body and thicken. I cried every day as a teenager but now, despite all of the time and effort, I love my hair and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I do have to add that the only other type of product I use, and my hairdresser concurs, is lotion. While it’s still wet and during the process of applying the rest of the stuff, I add a little Lubriderm to the ends. Then, when it’s dry, if I need to tame it down a bit, I add a little more throughout (gently, though; we don’t want a hair explosion!)
It makes me so happy to meet people who have hair that is as high maintenance as mine. None of my friends understand – they just know that whenever we travel, I’m the reason we’re always late getting out of the hotel.
I have yet to find the perfect combination of hair care products – although I’ve used Matrix Gelee for years and it works pretty well… in combination with leave in conditioner and smoothing pomade and Aussie sprunch spray… oy.
I’m so excited because I’m going to a new hairdresser who specializes in curly hair! I’m really hoping she’ll have some suggestions. BTW, have you ever been to this site? Have fun!
jennys last blog post..V8
They definitely owe you money, but I think you owe them something as well. Your hair is gorgeous!
Missys last blog post..Going A Little Crazy
That’s okay, no apologies! I thought it was a general reference that I have no clue about… (that happens a lot actually, haha!)
My hair is thin, limp and blah. I only could WISH for curls. i did send your URL to a hairdresser friend of mine with a request for a perm so i can have hair that looks like yours
*fingers crossed*
Thanks to g’ma I have some wave but dislike it enough to keep my hair short. Though it makes for a quick morning after a shower; towel dry, spray whilst damp, foof, and DONE!
VENTL8Rs last blog post..Mosaic
I, also, wash my curly hair only 3 times a week or so. The day after I wash it is the BEST day.
Yours looks much, much softer. Please don’t freak out when I run up to you next month and touch your hair.
Just thought I should give you fair warning.
Angellas last blog post..Casing The Joint
Oh I soooo hear ya!!!
I agree with Angella – the day after the wash is best day for curly hair…
My list of products…
Lotion #9 by Sebastian OR Keratin Mist by Chi (great leave in conditioners, especially the latter) – to be used while hair is damp
Spray Gloss N Curl by Schwarzkopf (göt2b curl-vacious product line) – which you can also use on dry curls to revitalize them if you are on the run
THEN
Strictly Curls lotion by Mark Anthony
Set … use barret to keep out of face… and in the summer time – let it air dry.
Its the only way that I can get my ringlets to naturally stay ringlets – and not look like a close relative to Buckwheat.
KCs last blog post..Generosity of Spirit Abound…
Complain all you like, but the end result is worth any amount of trouble.
Dave2s last blog post..Adventure
Dear Mocha Momma’s Momma,
Please send moolah to cover the cost of intense hair care for your beloved daughter. Or, please drive to Wisconsin and make that really awesome baked mac & cheese recipe you are famous for, and I’ll forever shut up.
Best,
Dana
Kelly, your hair is gorgeous. I wish I had that curl!
danas last blog post..About a Boy
Oh. My. Lawd.
Um. Please don’t kill me when you get to BlogHer and realize that my typical hair styling involves a blow dryer, a straightener, and occasionally some spit polish – okay? I am officially done with the envy of the girls with the curly hair, as it would totally put a crimp in my Indefensibly Lazy beauty routine.
I recently left the house with my hair still wet and proceeded to put my makeup on in the car in under a minute while styling my hair WITH MY FINGERS as it dried. The girlfriend who was riding with me stared, mouth agape, for a few seconds… then said – without animosity – “I officially hate you.” (She’s Latina, and therefore requires serious time investment on both hair and makeup before she will agree to leave the house.)
In the plus column for me as a roommate, though? When I’m done primping, I’ll have plenty of time to sit near you while you finish your hair saying things like “You’re so pretty!” and “Oh, could you BE any more fabulous?”
I’m nice to have around that way. *grin*
MeLs last blog post..Indeed.
You got difficult hair from your parents, but you also got THOSE EYES!! So shuuuuuut up.
hurt me for saying such a thing if you like but you know what I really want to say whenever the subject turns to people of “mixed race” ? I rarely do it because it sounds strange to some people, but I think people of mixed race are – OK hit me if you want – some of the absolutely most gorgeous looking people on the planet, and I think it’s God’s way of saying something very important to us. I mean, I have NEVER seen a person of so-called “mixed race” origins that wasn’t either strikingly beautiful or enviably handsome. And I’m not saying that to be patronizing or anything like that, I have ALWAYS believed this.
RWs last blog post..The Other Top Chef… ME
I want my very own genuine, customized baby wig cut down from all your hair pieces. Please.
Jonathans last blog post..“Hitchcockian Movie Rant”
I should have done a hair post loooong ago.
I won’t kill you RW because you have a lovely wife and a sassy little car that I tried to put in my pocket because it’s so cute and small. And you? Well, you’re just smashing and dashing.
Someone asked about shampoo: I use what’s on sale or cheap and change quite frequently. Right now it’s just Head & Shoulders. One that I go back to time and again is Creme of Nature (in the Black hair care section).
Gotta go make a wig for Jonathan now. Any other orders? Pay only shipping and handling.
Oh.
Thanks mom and dad. For the eyes.
(No, you shut up, Sue.)
I really, really need to do a hair post. Like really. That is all.
Heather B.s last blog post..What do you love about your life?
Oh dear Lord. Buy a pony tail holder and run with it! =) I can’t do much with my hair … mostly because I’m not willing to take all that time, or spend that money. I wear a pony tail every single day. Except for special occasions, where I try to remember how to apply product and style my hair, and by the end of the event I generally have it up in a clip.
Do you have a CVS nearby? I wonder if you could save yourself lots of money by coupon clipping and stocking up during sales?
I wish I had my little cousin’s hair. Japanese father, white mama, GORGEOUS long jet black hair, stick straight and stunning. I hate her.
castocreationss last blog post..We Lost the Remote
I love your phrase “fivehead.” I’ve never heard that before.
Fivehead: one bigger than a forehead
Cute lingo Mocha-girl.
I admire your dedication to your hair routine. I’m utterly impressed with your dilligence.
Rigels last blog post..Don’t Bother Trying to Mess with the Zohan
Honey, with $40-$60 spent at the beauty shop every other week I have no sympathy. Plus it looks so cute when you’re done!
You, my friend, are GORGEOUS. Bravo on spreading the hair love!
I definitely think my cat would benefit from wearing a baby wig.
Picture it: a domestic short hair prancing around in a shoulder-length bob.
He will either resent me for attempting to turn him into a feline transvestite, or he will buy shiny dresses, clunky shoes, endless strands of beads, and start frequenting speak-easies.
Jonathans last blog post..“Hitchcockian Movie Rant”
Mom and Pop if you’re sending money to Mocha send me some too, kay?
I don’t have curly hair, wash it daily, and blow dry it for about 3.4 seconds, before running out the door..but I could use the money for something else- I’m just sure of it!
Mocha- You are gorgeous!!
Tricias last blog post..First Time for Everything
I’m a curly haired gal too. From the looks of it, I think we have about the same amount of curl and use the same amount of products. I can’t wash my hair every day because, as you know, curly hair is dry hair. So on day one- I wear it curly, except for the bangs. I straighten my bangs with a flat iron.
TG for the flat iron, by the way. You’re younger than me, so probably didn’t have to iron your hair on an ironing board. Lame!
Days two (and sometimes three), I straighten my hair with the flattening iron. If I didn’t, then my hair would be sticking up all over the place. Smooshed curly hair in the back is not pretty.
I’ve recently brought steam curlers back into my life. They’re MUCH better than regular hot rollers because the loose curl lasts a lot longer. I give them a 2 thumbs up.
With all the work we curly haired people go through, I think I understand why some people opt for wigs.
You are absolutely stunning, by the way.
RisibleGirls last blog post..Thanks, Mo’ Nature!
Add to the “I wish I had your hair” camp. The only way I was able to achieve that look was back in the late 80′s-90′s when spiral perms were all the rage. I loved the ease of just washing, applying gel, scrunching, and then go, hair. I, too, have the 5-head. If I had gorgeous eyes like you, I think I’d go sans bangs. Alas, I inherited very small eyes that sometimes even mascara can’t rescue, so I can’t get away with it. *sigh*
Susans last blog post..Let the count down begin
Cool!
I could write about my daughter’s hair (and have, sort of), she’s still young..
bens last blog post..boob shadow
Us curly girls and hair, we have to write about it and read about it. ; ) Every time I see the ad for this product, I think of you. http://mixedchicks.net/. Yes I think your parents should foot the bill.
I have a similar ritual, although the products line up is not quite set in my world yet, I am trying different combos. The two things I think make the most difference is I section my hair off and put product in each section and comb it through. Then I take a big round brush and twist my hair into ginormous ringlets and let it airdry, as it dries it separates into beautiful tight ringlets.
White Hot Magiks last blog post..The Art of being Crafty
I have to admit..I was riveted.
I used to perm my hair for that look..and then yeah, go through the gajillion products to have the girls just so.
And when I was younger it was the fifty hair HOLDING products to keep it just so….now..not so much.
A classmate of Adams…black (I don’t know the CANADIAN PC term!) girl…has an aboriginal mom and german grandparents….adoptions galore…so they were telling us the fun they had trying to figure how to condition and straighten up her hair for ‘styling’ fun….
You are so FREAKIN’ funny – smiles! Your parents should send you a check for that. And you are so right, hair product on the floor will make you bust your a*@!
Gotta love it…
Wifey’s Houses last blog post..Parent Participation
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