So last week, when the lovely Kelly invited me to guest post for her here on her blog, I immediately said, “yes, yes, oh, a thousand times yes!” before realizing that this actually meant that I might, oh, you know, have to WRITE something. As this fact began slowly dawning on me, I began to panic: “Umm, Kelly?” I sheepishly e-mailed. “I have no idea what to post. What are your readers like? Maybe that would help me narrow down my topic?”
“Oh,” she said. “They’re lovely. Very artistic, and extremely well educated. Just write anything – if it’s something The New Yorker would happily print as its lead article, you’ll be fine. Toodles!”
And then she whisked herself away in a Cloud of Fabulous, leaving me to wallow in a quagmire of my own self-doubt.
No pressure.
So, anyway, hi. I’m Karen. And for those of you who don’t know me, I’m usually found at a little photoblog with the charming-if-unpronounceable name of Chookooloonks, where I post images of beauty that I find around me in my daily life. While the focus of my site is generally around imagery, I often accompany the photographs with words – words which I try to ensure are uplifting, or peaceful, or generally create a refuge from everyday life.
Thing is? This isn’t my blog. I guess I don’t necessarily have to do that here.
So I thought that instead of carrying on the Chookooloonks tradition, with your permission, I’d tell you about a couple of things that have been irrationally occupying my mind lately. These are thoughts that really don’t express well in a photoblog format, so it makes sense to me (somewhat) to express them here. Some might call this “taking advantage of Kelly’s blog while she’s away and venting all over it,” but I’d like to instead call it “sharing.” It’s a much more palatable term, don’t you think? And while the following might not be particularly indicative of an artistic or a well-educated mind, imagine me typing this in a tweed jacket with elbow patches, smoking a pipe. That might help.
So without further ado, the Top Five Not-Particularly-Artistic-Or-Well-Educated Things That Have Taken Over My Mind Lately:
5. My birthday. In a little over a week, I will be celebrating my 41st birthday. I’m not generally a person who cares about age – it ain’t nothin’ but a number, baby! It’s not how old you are but how you feel!
I’ve been saying the above to myself nonstop for the past 2 years, 11 months, 1 week and 4 days. Eventually I’m actually going to start believing it. Mark my words.
4. Ghosthunters. As a rule, I hate reality shows. All of them. I always have — I find them trivial and pedestrian. But for some reason, I break this hard and fast rule when it comes to this paranormal reality show, and I’m starting to worry about myself. But, come on: two mild-mannered and phlegmatic Roto-Rooter plumbers found The Atlantic Paranormal Society, and hunt for ghosts using high-tech equipment like Electro-Magnetic Field Detectors and Thermal Imaging Cameras? Dude, that is television GOLD!
3. Amy Winehouse. Amy, if you’re reading this, you’re way too talented a singer to be so hell-bent on doing things which will inevitably end your life. Stop that.
2. The ads for the Girls Gone Wild videos. Some late nights, while my husband and I are watching repeats of Ghosthunters these ads come on the air, encouraging us to buy DVDs of these young, nubile girls (”Finally 18!” the announcer screams), often unleashing their young, nubile (and blurred-out) breasts on Spring Break for all of us to see. And the entire time these ads are on, I can’t help secretly and evilly wishing that somewhere out there, one of these young girls is at home with her parents, sitting and watching repeats of Ghosthunters when these ads come on. And then I dream about what would occur when these parents slowly realize that the young girl on television, doing a backbend on the cheap motel bed while jiggling her lovely jubblies is, in fact, their angelic daughter. And I fantasize about the explosion that would necessarily follow.
And then I realize I’m turning into my parents.
And finally, the Number One Thing That Has Taken Over My Mind Lately is:
1. How to lose 20 pounds before BlogHer. I’m thinking of amputating a leg.
July 8, 2008 @ 6:09 am | Filed under Uncategorized | Permalink |
All Adither Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 7:02 am
If you drink nothing but chamomile between now and Blogher, that should rid you of your 20 pounds.
Angella Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 7:11 am
But if you amputate a leg, how will you participate in the Shutter Sisters Photo Walk?
I say you stick with the chamomile tea strategy.
Angellas last blog post..Or So The Saying Goes
Sugar Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 7:59 am
I love that you want to lose weight for BlogHer. Good On’ya and all… but we are going to like the best eating city in California, you know. It would just come back on anyway. I say keep the leg.
See you in The City!
zeghsy Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 8:22 am
hehe… i think about that very same thing when those commercials come on too!
zeghsys last blog post..ma shoes!
Average Jane Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 9:03 am
I just turned 41 yesterday, so I can tell you firsthand that it’s not that bad. Except for the needing to lose 20 pounds bit, which I think is the most unfortunate side-effect of being over 40. I waited too late to do anything about my extra 20 before BlogHer, so I’m just going to eat whatever I want during the conference and worry about it when I get home.
Average Janes last blog post..Average Jane Prepares for BlogHer
mp Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 9:27 am
I LIKE YOU!! I love your photo blog..yet another I’ve marked on my browser to visit. I LOVE to take photos but haven’t learned how to use my camera..and really need to take a class. I have the “eye” but not the skills. SO…I love yours.
I have thought the SAME exact thing about he Girls Gone Wild..I keep thinking about the parents..and wondering #1 how could you dissapoint your parents like that? OMG..then I realize not everyone is blessed with parents that give a crap.
I’ll be 42 in November…41 was kinda wierd, but OK. I think I’m looking forward to 42.
I can help you GAIN 20 for blogher..losing it..meh..if I knew the answer to that I’d be in a size 10 by now.
mps last blog post..Don’t Get Old!!
Suebob Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 9:52 am
You are so dang gorgeous, woman. Really. Do not change a thing. It kind of makes me mad that I live in a world where someone as beautiful as you doesn’t just walk around in a cloud of her own perfect glory.
Amy in StL Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 11:17 am
While working nights last month we watched a lot of certain channels on TV. During the day there’s news, weather, more news…. But at night comedy and old sitcoms kept us awake. Imagine sitting at work and seeing those commercials come up just as one of the guys walks in. It’s uncomfortable all around, especially considering I couldn’t change the channel in the room I was in.
tash Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 1:20 pm
You’ve done yourself proud as usual Karen!
And I think the amputation should be a last resort!
tashs last blog post..Unification…
Anali Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
Great post! And some of your readers are also readers here, so no worries. ; ) I’m loving how you’re celebrating your birthday month. I do the same thing, but didn’t start until my thirties. I always enjoy it - even though I’ll soon be 44.
Analis last blog post..The Foodie Blogroll - Updated
VENTL8R Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
I, too, despise reality TV, but hubs and I did watch the entire season of “The Joe Schmoe Show” on Spike a few years back. Did’ja happen to catch that one? Brilliant piece of TV.
Then we got sucked into MXC; Most Extreme Challenge from Japan. It has now morphed into “Wipe Out.” Haven’t watched it yet; tonight is “Deadliest Catch” night.
VENTL8Rs last blog post..BULLSEYE!!
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
I’m glad to hear that someone else is as obsessed with Ghosthunters as I am. I’ve tried to explain my obsession to my friends, who are all somewhat horrified by the fact that I watch this show…and I just can’t quite do it. It’s something about the guys - they’ve got great chemistry. Jay and Grant in particular, but even Steve and Tango - just listening to them yap and bitch at each other makes me happy…whether they find anything interesting or not.
But I won’t watch Ghosthunters International - *pft!* they’ve grouped all my least favorite people from the old show and lumped them on that one. Gives me a headache just thinking about it…
Caffeinated Librarians last blog post..No Respect (and other thoughts)
Chookooloonks Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 7:40 pm
All Adither — Hmm… you might be on to something…
Angella — I hadn’t thought of that. Although perhaps someone could carry me?
Sugar — I do love me some San Francisco food scene. I may just have to amputate the other leg after BlogHer.
zeghsy — THANK YOU!
Average Jane — Girl, you ain’t lyin’. I turned 40, and my metabolism was all, “peace — we out!”
mp — I LIKE YOU TOO!
Suebob — You are so lovely. Thank you.
AmyinStL — Dude.
tash — thanks! And we’ll see … desperate times, don’t you know …
Anali — age ain’t nothin’ but a number ….it’s not how old you are, but how you feel …
VENTL8R — I have no idea what any of those shows are you mentioned. How sad is that?
Caffeinated Librarian — I KNOW!!!
Heather B. Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 2:27 am
Oooh we can celebrate your birthday. Also, I lost about 4 lbs the other day by cutting off some hair. It did wonders.
Daisy Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 7:14 am
My husband and daughter are Ghostbusters addicts. I irritate them by sitting in my corner with a lamp on (so I can read my book!), which ruins the whole effect of watching ghostly TV in the dark.
Daisys last blog post..Must be my rapier-like wit.