I believe an introduction is in order here. Hello, my name is Heather B. (or HB if you’d like) and I write for a wildly unpopular site called No Pasa Nada. It’s a well detailed account of my life after I graduated from college in Washington, DC. This means that every other post is about how drunk I got this one time in Georgetown.
Kelly asked me to do a little babysitting for her while she lives it up and mentioned that I should write about whatever and that I could swear. Because she likes it when I curse. Since I have the maturity of a gnat, I had to keep myself from writing a post that went something like this *ahem* “Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. Love, HB”. Of course I am not going to do that for that would be rude and I would never just step into someone’s house and start clipping my toenails into neat little piles. Point is, you have to be polite in another’s domain. I have some manners.
The night I first met Kelly was in July of 2006 at BlogHer in San Jose. Also known as three days of my life I lost and wish I could do over. I feel like if you fuck up egregiously, that day should be a Groundhog Day and you should be able to have at it again. In this case I would want all three days back so that I wouldn’t be so stuck up and ornery and neurotic. Perhaps I would open my mouth once or twice to form words. Anyway, Kelly happened to be standing poolside with Maggie - who was newly pregnant - and Alice. I’m not sure how I ended up standing right there with a slight buzz, but there I was while Kelly extolled the wonders of giving birth. And I stood there mouth wide open and mentally preparing myself for getting my tubes tied. She saw my look and as I recall asked my age. I told her 22 and she said “OH GOD, you’re a ZYGOTE”. And until recently she referred to me as such. Now, at the ripe old age of 24, I get to be an embryo. I figure by 28 she’ll let me be a fetus. I have big dreams.
Last year at BlogHer in Chicago, Kelly and I happened to attend the session on Mommyblogging. This was way back in the day when there was A (singular) mommyblogging session as opposed to an entire track. We also used rotary phones and cassettes. So Kelly and I are in this session and the discussion turns to PR and marketing and how to do it the right way when it comes to getting the attention of parent bloggers in general. Prior to this discussion, Kelly and I had a conversation about why companies don’t go after bloggers of color which was something upsetting/intriguing to both us. For her as a parent blogger and for me as a person who writes about business and personal finance. When the conversation turns to PR, I keep kicking Kelly in the back of her chair from where I was one row and three seats behind her. Egging her on and telling her to stand up and talk. Far be it for me, Pussy of The Year, to actually speak. Kelly gets up and eloquently and concisely says exactly how she feels and everyone agrees. She’s awesome. The end.
Well the session ends and I go up to the front of the room where the speakers are and a woman comes up to me, very politely I might add, and says “I really liked what you had to say”. I stood there for a second and then said “Wait, what?”
“What you said earlier about PR companies not coming after parentbloggers of color”
“Um, that wasn’t me. That was her” I point to Kelly.
“Oh….um….ok”
“But it’s Ok, we’re friends”
And this poor woman stands there red faced and mortified as she looks around the room trying to get herself out from my line of sight before lasers shoot out of my retinas directly into her skull.
So for a little pre-BlogHer guidance for all of you attending. Here is a photo of Kelly:
Here is a photo of me (from Aimee Greeblemonkey):
If you look closely you’ll notice that we are not the same person. Keep that in mind.
The end.
July 9, 2008 @ 9:56 am | Filed under Uncategorized | Permalink |
Aimee Greeblemonkey Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 10:22 am
Whew. Glad you cleared that up. Cause I would have made a complete ass of myself going up to Kelly and giving her a wet sloppy kiss at BlogHer.
Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..Looking for Balance
MetroDad Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 10:56 am
Oh man, another case of “all look the same.” As an Asian-American man, I get this all the time too. Depending on my mood, I’ll either shoot the offending party my KDS (Korean Death Stare) or I’ll just rip into them and loudly berate them for their ignorance. Have fun at BlogHer. What are the odds that it happens again?
MetroDads last blog post..Happy 7th Anniversary, Sweet Cheeks!
amanda Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 11:51 am
The power of the profane…I have had people delurk to comment on their delight at finding that I really do swear. Next time I’m feeling really sassy I may divulge what I do in the can. I’m such an ass I might confuse you with Aimee.
amandas last blog post..Remember the person who…
Amelia Sprout Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
Yeah, totally, you could be twins…. What EV-AR.
Just have to say, I do adore the fun that Kelly has lined up while she’s away. Finding all kinds of good things to read.
Amelia Sprouts last blog post..Moving on…
Amy in StL Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
I’d like to point out that it’s probably because some people just don’t pay that much attention to… well, anything!
We have two guys here in the office who are constantly getting mixed up. They both have goatees and are white - end of commonality.
Our fleet manager gets me mixed up with another girl in my office and the only commonality is he knows both of our boyfriends. She’s tall, brunette, athletic, nicely dressed. I’m short, heavy, redhead and usually in jeans.
I think people just sometimes are so wrapped up in - well, hell I don’t know what - that they aren’t paying attention to the person that well. I wouldn’t automatically put it down to racism - just stupidity. Wait, that’s not better, is it?
Heather B. Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 1:13 pm
Amy in StL - NOT racism. Just stupidity. It’s actually just funny. That’s all. But no, I am not about to call anyone a racist based on such a thing.
Heather B.s last blog post..The Dumbest Story Ever Told
All Adither Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 2:01 pm
But you’re both beauties.
All Adithers last blog post..A very deadly catch
Bri Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 2:12 pm
Weeeeell, I’ve already met the amazing Kelly, so that should not be a problem for me. Also, I love that she calls you a zygote! Funny, I don’t think you write like a 24 year old, either. Hell, I’m 31, and I think you sound older in writing than I do. (Does that make sense?)
Bris last blog post..Quick and Dirty BlogHer post
sizzle Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 4:44 pm
I’m thinking I wouldn’t have confused the two of you but everyone makes mistakes. I guess it is good you were singled out as making good comments instead of like, “were you the asshole yelling outside by the pool with the cocktail in her hand?” kind of situation, right?
sizzles last blog post..Living The Life
Heather B. Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 5:12 pm
All Adither - Why thank you, my dear. I’m sure Kelly will thank you as well as soon as she finds a place to set her mai tai and finds internet access.
Bri - Yes, it does make sense
Sizzle - True though I’m actually surprised that has never happened to me. There’s always this year, though!
Heather B.s last blog post..The Dumbest Story Ever Told
Caffeinated Librarian Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 6:07 pm
Holy crap, I loved this post. Talk about laugh-out-loud-even-though-it’s-not-really-funny-but-still-it-is.
My favorite is the folks who start talking with me thinking I’m someone else only to realize mid-way through the conversation that they don’t know me. And believe it or not this has happened to me multiple times throughout my life so I am evidently so nondescript looking that I’m easily confused with multiple people.
Or else people really are clueless and unobservant. Let’s go with that one…it’s better for my ego.
Caffeinated Librarians last blog post..No Respect (and other thoughts)
No Pasa Nada » Blog Archive » If I’m Not Here…(Volume 1) Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 6:29 pm
[...] I kiss her ass enough she’ll give me another week off for being so damn awesome. I’ve guest posted at Mocha Momma and well the word ‘racist’ came up once in the comments. So… yeah. And at Mama [...]
Jakki Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 7:16 pm
I stalk the both of you so this was an insane moment to link in and find you here…
Oh yeah….I can see the resemblance…
Jakkis last blog post..This post is a call for help…
gorillabuns Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 7:21 pm
i’m really starting to get very depressed that I won’t see any of you guys this year.
gorillabunss last blog post..family blind item #1
Angella Said,
July 9, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
What? YOU are Heather B? I thought I was sleeping with that other chick next week.
I kid! Of course.
The person who approached you must have started imbibing at the break of dawn. You are both beautiful, BUT LOOK NOTHING ALIKE.
Angellas last blog post..Canadian Chicks Are Hot
Rigel Said,
July 10, 2008 @ 6:29 am
I love the story and then the pictures at the bottom were the icing on the cake…again, probably just someone that wasn’t paying attention. But FUNNY none-the-less. Thanks for the laugh girl…I needed it.
Rigels last blog post..I Know This Is Morbid, But THINK About It
angie Said,
July 10, 2008 @ 9:28 am
Girlfriend, you are hilly-arious. I actually hunted you down last summer when I realized it was two black folk in the room at blogher. Now you and Karen and Kelly all on the same blog. I don’t know if I can stand the excitement!
angies last blog post..love Thursday
Maria Said,
July 10, 2008 @ 10:52 am
Was she white? Can I ask that? No? Ok.
Well, just for the record: All black people do not look alike.
Most of them don’t anyway. Some do. Kinda.
Marias last blog post..The BlogHer Post
Mocha Momma » Heathers Said,
July 25, 2008 @ 6:15 am
[...] you remember this post? By my friend, Heather [...]