Today’s guest post was written by someone who is like that older brother I never really wanted but who is fascinating and funny. When I met Neil last summer while on a visit to the Queen of Spain and LeahPeah and SueBob and a bunch of other folks (it ended up being a spontaneous party) we ate burritos (is that a theme in my life lately or what?) we sat in this Mexican restaurant until closing time and he mentioned he was a screenwriter. Of course, I beg him constantly to write a part for me so I can make my acting debut. He doesn’t think I’m equally as fascinating, though. A “bit part” he keeps saying. Ah, well. I like Neil anyway.
My dependence on technology is bad for my brain muscles. I don’t remember things anymore. By being “connected” all the time, I feel as if there is the tyranny of the “now.” When I blog, an old post is promptly put into the archives, never to be seen again. I spend less time thinking about future events. I create a note on my calendar and let my computer do the remembering. What is important is now. My latest blog post. Your latest comment. The latest hot buzz. In the past year or so, the importance of “the now” has intensified for me when I joined Facebook and Twitter. I can now follow your personal life by the second. I know you are eating lunch at noon. I know what you are eating. I know what time you are going back to work. An event that happened ten minutes ago is old news.
A few weeks ago, I met a group of bloggers in New York. It was an exciting moment for us. We were meeting for the first time. But I noticed something new at this group meeting. We seemed as interested in reporting the event to others as enjoying the moment ourselves. As we ate our dinner, we were taking photos and sending them to Flickr. Others were live-twittering the event, so outsiders knew as much about what was we were talking about as those actually there. I’m sure this will be happening a lot at BlogHer this weekend.
In some ways, I think this is an amazing advance. We can share our lives with others. For those bloggers not going to BlogHer, these messages and photos are a lifeline to the experience. You can even go on Second Life and go to the conference in a virtual world!
Sometimes, it feels as if reality isn’t “real” without it being broadcast. Are we losing our ability to enjoy life if we don’t capture it in a photo or words and share it with others? Will future generations want to have sex if they can’t make an amateur sex video for YouTube?
I’m concerned about younger people born into this text-message. Do teenagers feel lonely or isolated if they aren’t in direct contact with others 24 hours a day? When a young person sees the majesty of the Grand Canyon for the first time, does he take it in, or is his urge to text message his friends, “Hey, dudes, I’m at the Grand Canyon.”
This issue has resonance with me because it reminds me of going on summer vacations with my parents. Even though my father never sent a text message in is life (or would ever do it), he was obsessed with taking home movies when we went on vacation. I hated it. We would go to Disneyland and rather than running through the gate, my mother and I would have to stop in front of the sign and wave to the camera. I just hated it. It felt as if he cared more about the movie than the experience. If you saw the home movies today, you would see me grimacing during every vacation.
Of course, today I am grateful for all these home movies. My father knew what he was doing. He was keeping a record of life — of his son growing up. He knew those days would pass quickly. Although those home movies were a pain in the neck to me as a child, he was thinking about the future. He wanted a record of our time together.
This is very different than the world of Twitter and Flickr. We have little interest in preserving events for the future. The future is gone within one second. When that teenager today writes that text message at the Grand Canyon, he has no interest in keeping the memory alive. He does it because if he doesn’t share it, it feels as if it isn’t really happening, like that tree that falls in the forest when no one is around. It is less an act of remembrance, than that of loneliness.
July 16, 2008 @ 12:37 pm | Filed under Guest Blogger | Permalink |
Lara Said,
July 16, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
ooh! me! i was at that party too! hi neil!
Laras last blog post..My Special BlogHer ‘08 Scavenger Hunt
McSwain Said,
July 16, 2008 @ 3:55 pm
Interesting to ponder… I had similar thoughts the other day–as I posted my status on Facebook, I thought of my father-in-law, who seemed to spend every waking minute in communication with invisible folk on his ham radio.
All of this has an upside, though. I save my blog posts each month as I once did my journal–a record of who I was at the moment I wrote. Through all this electronic communication, I have reclaimed important remnants of my past as I’ve found long-lost friends online.
But you’re spot on about the downside as well. It’s easy to forget how to be alone in the moment.
McSwains last blog post..
Citizen of the Month » I Hum Said,
July 16, 2008 @ 8:38 pm
[...] also guest posted today on the blog of the brainy and gorgeous Mocha Momma. Tags: humming, songwriting [...]
Jennifer H Said,
July 16, 2008 @ 11:54 pm
I do think it’s possible to spend too much time recording life in artificial ways (things as immediate as Twitter or as elaborate as the kind of scrapbooking a lot of women do these days. I wonder if future societies will wonder what the heck all these women were up to, decorating photo pages).
We run the risk of missing a lot in our urge to record it all. I know I spend more time on blogging than I should, but I’m not about to add Twitter to the mix. (My daily life isn’t that interesting, anyway.)
There’s a good chance that the expression “You had to be there” will fade away.
Jennifer H Said,
July 16, 2008 @ 11:59 pm
P.S. Not to pick on women…I’m sure there are men who scrapbook, also. Sorry for that. I’m not picking on women, or scrapbooking.
savia Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 12:13 am
Superstar and I get into this every once in awhile, too. He’s very much live in the moment, experience life and I am more of an observer and a recorder. I like to think that we balance each other out. But mostly, he reminds me to grasp the moment and savour it instead of thinking of the words in which I will realate it to others on my blog. It’s all about balance, right?
savias last blog post..Howdy, stranger
Sara Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 6:10 am
How sad, being on and connected twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes solitude is a healthy and necessary thing. Turn off the cell phone, log off the computer. Just listen to the silence. Delicious.
All Adither Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 6:59 am
Yeah, I agree. As a stay at home mom I rely on the internet for some of my connection to the outside world. But surely it degrades real life, makes my kids feel less important and takes time away from other things I’d like to be doing.
Still, I can’t quit!
V's Herbie Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 9:10 am
I hear you about the home movies…
My dad’s first 8mm camera with sound arrived the day I was born. The first movie he shot was of my mom looking very uncomfortable saying the date and that they were on their way to the hospital. Then there’s a cut, and my dad comes on. He says “Well, I’ve never had a movie camera before, and I’ve never had a baby before either”
Gee… which one was he more excited about?
V’s Herbies last blog post..long time no post
KC Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 9:26 am
I like to think there could be a balance of both.
Excellent post Neil.
I really enjoyed this one… have me pause.
Thanks!
KCs last blog post..No. I’m Not a Conservative.
Daisy Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
I’m wondering if I should be embarrassed. When we went on vacation, I kept texting my daughter, the one who stayed at home to feed the pets and work at her summer job. when a 40-something mom and her 21-yr-old daughter are texting to keep in touch, does that mean anything?
Daisys last blog post..victory in vegetables
Jenny Said,
July 17, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
Great post Neil. I have felt this way for a long long time. I have a friend who lives her life this way. Her feet may be in a moment, but her heart isn’t because she is constantly wondering how she will relate this moment later when she blogs or tells others about it. I think it is a very lonely way to live. It is almost as if she is always writing a screenplay in her head. I sometimes wish she could be more present, and never tell anyone about something we may have seen or done, no matter how great, funny, creative, weird, strange, or whatever it may have been. Sigh. Thanks for writing this post.
mn Said,
July 18, 2008 @ 2:03 pm
checking out your site via bossy, who i read from time to time.
i like your blog title. and i enjoyed your post today.
my two cents: i agree, people are so wanting to savor the moment in pictures, they forget the moment. i used to be like that but now i just absorb when i realized i have no place to put my photo collection.
so i only take pictures of imp. stuff anymore. I let my MIL obsess over the pictures at every restaurant and get them through her,ha.
there is a pakistani skit in which the bride is videotaped fifty billion times over several days leaving her home bc the “videographer” kept yelling “Cut!” and having the family redo it over and over again.
until the guests lose their cool, ha.
have a safe trip back.
Kazelpjr Said,
August 14, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
Hi webmaster!
Kazelwco Said,
August 14, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
Hi webmaster!