Sometimes when the phone rings you just have to answer it, you know? It might be a long lost friend inviting you over for cocktails and a cheese tray with that kind of cheese you’re too scared to buy at the grocery store because you think it might be the bad stinky kind of queso.
Sometimes it’s the good stinky type of molded mass of pressed curds so take a chance once in a while.
Last week during my giveaway (whose idea came to me in a flash and within minutes of posting I had three people emailing me offering me MORE STUFF) I realized that I needed to slow down, embrace my inner 1985, and groove out with some Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. That’s a pretty good destination for one of many Happy Places. Last night I had to go there again after getting worked up about this stupid makeover series (not ONE Black woman! Hey, NBC! DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANY BLACK WOMEN?). The whole thing irritated me enough to write them last night. Again. Do you suppose they have me on some list where when I write them they stop the office, invite everyone into the conference room, and laugh and jeer at my email which they display on the wide-screen while yelling, “Oh! There she goes again! Ha ha ha! Man. She’s SO stupid.” ? Do you? I am sort of hoping they do.
I’m looking at you, too, ABC. Your GMA track on “the worst hair in America” featured four women, three of whom were ethnic and had frizzy hair who needed to be fixed by straightening their hair. That’s THE WORST HAIR? That’s YOUR SOLUTION?
Well, thanks.
I don’t know where I get that complex about my hair. NO. CLUE.
Let’s move on because I could talk hair all day and there’s free gas to give away and I’m getting so worked up again that I am heading to the corner of my closet to rock myself in the fetal position as I chew on my hair and listen to Lisa Lisa croon at me some more.
Complete aside here (yes, I’m taking full advantage of my Close Proximity ADHD) (there is no medicine I could take to help with this) (you either think this is annoying or charming and I like how you’re thinking!): I loved all those comments from yesterday and I didn’t get to read all of them until just now because yesterday was such a busy day.
I’ve just now
1) chosen a category for this post
2) hit “Save”
3) hit “Preview this Post” and read it aloud to myself
4) wondered if anyone thinks that I’m taking my granny’s prescription medication because I sound completely whacked out
You still with me? Good, because I want some good comments today after last week’s “Hi! Enter me!” ones left me feeling sunk. How will I ever visit all those blogs? I don’t have time to change my own sheets right now.
Another aside: thanks, Mom, for coming over to cook last night and thanks for the plantains you’re going to cook for me today. (I hope you remembered)
Let’s get to gas, shall we? I figured I could make some fart jokes since the inner adolescent boy in me can’t stop letting one go near my kids and then swiftly leaving the room OR simply uttering, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry for this.” and letting them discover on their own that I busted a grumpie.
It’s hard to make fart jokes when there is the seriousness of premium petrol to be discussed. I’ll break down my test driving of the Premium 93 Invigorate from BP for you by giving a glimpse of what my brain did.
First, the gray matter was just excited to get some gas for free. Then, it wondered if the “truck light” (that’s what my car is classified as, though I’d just call it a “small SUV”) would reject good gasoline since it’s been drinking the cheap Kool-Aid for so long. Finally, it let in some memories of when I first got my driver’s license in and we all remember what that was like.
You must prove to the world entire that you can drive fast and also like an idiot, preferably at the same time.
The idiot driving notwithstanding, I was on highway 55 right outside of Chicago when I decided to floor it and pass several cars (right before all the construction, I swear) (there is an abundance of parenthetical statements today for which I’m truly sorry). Normally, Trudy (that’s my car’s name) sounds like the tranny’s dropping and she takes her time to actually speed up but this time SHE KICKED INTO GEAR AND STRETCHED HER LEGS.
“Nu uhhhh” I said to my mom who was in the passenger seat. “Did you feel that?”
“Yeah. That didn’t do that thing it normally does.”
So, you see? I had a witness and she makes fantastic fried plantains so you must believe her even if you’re skeptical about me.
The point is this: it was a really smooth drive and I could actually FEEL a difference in Trudy. It’s like using cheap shampoo your entire life and then trying out something with some conditioner and your hair feels better. As a performance result, yes, the BP Invigorate worked much better on my car and I don’t need to get technical in explaining that my driving experience was good while using it.
God love you if you’re still reading and also if you’ve picked up your phone book to find me some psychiatric help after this post, but you probably want some free gas from BP, so here’s what you have to do:
Take me back to the 80s and leave me a comment about your favorite songs from way back in the day because I’m looking for music to introduce to my teenage sons who haven’t experienced such magnificent music.
Four winners will be chosen to get $25 Gas Cards from BP and I will mail them out next week so you can remember your teenage driving days.
I hope your car has a name. If she does (like ships, cars to me are all girls) let me know her name, too.
(How did I start out writing this about answering phone calls and move on to cocktails and end up with music from the 1980s? It’s a mystery, I tell you.)
*Comments Closed! Good Luck!*
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I love Lisa Lisa! “My body never knew such pleasure, my heart never knew such payayayayain!”
Avitables last blog post..OMGLOLWOOT!!
Ok, so I’m younger than you, but you know, not as much as Heather B, so I still remember the 80′s.
Being from Minneapolis, Prince in the obvious one. So are the Replacements, and The Gear Daddies. I wanted to be a punk so bad, so I love The Ramones, The Sex Pistols and The Clash. And, if I dare admit to it, since we’re going there, Big Audio Dynamite II. (the local radio station played some of Joe Strummer’s BBC radio shows awhile back, and it was awesome)
I really love 80′s music, so The Police, REM, They Might Be Giants.
Yeah, sorry to ramble. Going to pull out the ipod and hide in my cube for the rest of the day.
Amelia Sprouts last blog post..Another year older
The Divinyls–”When I think about you I touch myself”
Not too creepy to share with your teen sons now is it?
My cars name is Hooptie….
dawns last blog post..Paris For President?
” The Message” Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five and “White Lines”
Renee aka MekhisMoms last blog post..Got Milk!
Hi there!
Just discovered you via Moosh in Indy. May I just say that you are hilarious! I read some of your older posts last night. tee hee! ha ha! Love you!
Anyways, my fave 80′s song of all time is “Sweet Child of Mine”. I have MANY others. I’m a child of the 80′s, and any and all songs from that era make me start to uncontrollably sing and dance, much to the annoyance and complete baffelment of my daughters.
Mandys last blog post..Some reasons to show my teeth
“The Message” and “White Lines” by Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five
These sounds provided a groove for the times and are seriously a part of the genesis of hip- hop in America. I have loads of other favorites from the 80′s but I can remember distinctly rollerskating to these tunes and having a ball. Speaking of rollerskating I have to add Imajin’s “Bounce,Rock,Skate,Roll”
Thanks for taking back to those carefree times of my youth!
Renee aka MekhisMoms last blog post..Got Milk!
I call my car Asshole most of the time because, well, she is an Asshole most of the time. Said with love though so that should count for something.
Essential 80s music to me is the corny ish of Janet Jackson (Let’s wait awhile, Nasty Boys) Dexy’s Midnight Runners (Come on Eileen) 2 Live Crew (Me So Horny….wait. Not so much for your teenagers, ”I’m like a dog in heat, a freak without warning I have an appetite for sex, ’cause me so horny” So deliciously foul were the 80s And now Luke has a reality show about parenting. Fuck we’re all old.)
CharmingDrivers last blog post..Over by Neil’s Today
I can’t tell you how many times I locked myself in my room and turned up Mercedes Boy from Pebbles (on a 45, no less!) and sang my heart out. Ditto for Naughty Girls by Samantha Fox. Oh! And who could forget Head Over Heels by the Go Go’s? Or Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds? I’d better stop here before I dive headfirst into a can of Aqua Net, heavy makeup and start dancing like Belinda Carlisle all over again. But I am gonna turn on my 80′s playlist on my iPod.
Elizabeths last blog post..TMI
Oh Mandy! Sweet Child O’ Mine! Yes.
I think the boys might need to hear some Violent Femmes, y’know?
mayberrys last blog post..Asking for trouble
I have written over 500 letters to Oprah since opening my store three years ago. I always picture the editors yelling out “another one from the nut at Providence Place!!” Oh well, one hundred percent of the shots not taken are missed.
80′s band The Call. They featured a lead bass guitar and boys liked them too. I saw them at the Illinois State Fair in something like 1986 or 1987 as the opening act for The Pschedelic Furs (also a great 80s band).
My car’s name is Sparkle E. Spaceship. My daughter wanted to name the car Sparkle and my son wanted to name it Spaceship. This was the compromise. It is a grey Ford Escape Hybrid. I’ll get more out of my $25 gas card than most.
I tend to stick with classics… like Miss Tina… What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Check out this site – number one songs in history
)
joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm
my car’s name is Marie!
She only takes BP w/invigorate now because our mechanic told us it was “the best out there”. If i put ANY. OTHER. GAS. IN. HER. TANK…she gets the shakes, and shakin is not cute, unless of course, you are trying to shake something OTHER than your ride!
My fav 80′s hits are by Erik B & Rakim, Lisa Stansfield and of course good ole Frankie Beverly & Maze.
Anything by the Commodores or Lionel Richie…Brick House, Lady…Hearing these songs always brings back college memories. Thanks so much.
Before I get to the music blah blah blah -
Can I just say how I had serious HAIR ANGST for years trying to get my hair to be all smooth and shiny and perfect and straight?!? YEARS!!
Nothing pisses me off more now that I’ve figured out, OH! HI! I HAVE CURLY HAIR! to watch all those design shows where their solution is excessive blow drying to get rid of curls. (OK, well SOME things piss me off more than that – but very few.)
Ahem.
ANYway.
Music? How about Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” – in all her cheesy crimpy neon lace gloves glory?
Miss Britts last blog post..Did I Ever Tell You About The Time Jared Peed All Over?
Wait. Did someone say Prince?
Prince is not 80′s.
Prince is TIMELESS, thank you very much.
Ok, I’m done now. Really.
Miss Britts last blog post..Did I Ever Tell You About The Time Jared Peed All Over?
Well, if you ever, EVER get a chance to floor it on 55 you must take it, regardless of the kind of gas you’re passing. Because that almost never happens.
One of my favorite songs from the 80′s–for a few passionate weeks anyway–was “Hey, Mickey!” Not surprisingly, this is because I had a boyfriend named Mickey that I knew was my soulmate because we were the same height, same weight, and wore the same size shoes. Yup. If that’s not destiny, nothing is.
I only remembered the song recently when I saw Toni Basil looking like a hot mess as a judge who could not talking about how everything was “street” on So You Think You Can Dance.
I’m not sure, however, that you should really introduce your boys to her. Or her song. But damn, I want to feel the power myself should 55 ever open for me.
Gwens last blog post..Work in Progress
Pat Benatar, “Hit me with your best shot…” and “we belong”. Oh yes indeed!
I love your site – I am here from Bossy’s and I have read a few of your archives. I totally agree with Janet Jackson’s Nasty Boys
Beastie Boys – Brass Monkey
Naughty by Nature – OPP – altohugh I think that was early 90′s.
Sir – Mix – A – Lot
Can I use this post in my classroom…a great demonstration of narrowing your topic.
As always a great read.
Song picks…
Panama – Van Halen, if was the first album I ever owned (now tell me that doesn’t date some of us…an alum!?) And equally as good, John Mellancamp – Hurts So Good.
Sadly, this is the first car I have owned that has not had a name, nothing has come to me in the year and half that I have owned it.
Metallica — One, Master of Puppets
Joan Jet – I love Rock n Roll
Oh and this video is full of great 80′s music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkTQwP2gFxU
White Hot Magiks last blog post..Pigs, puppies and tiaras, oh my!
mmm 80′s…
hair bands…
Prince…
Beastie Boys…
Phil Collins
Tiffany / Debbie Gibson (Did you say it had to be good 80′s?)
Wow.. apparently all over the place today too.
For some reason all these years later I still can’t get “Jane Says” (Jane’s Addiction) out of that special place in my heart. So I’ve got to recommend that one.
My car is the space egg. (It is a silver prius) I think the space egg is male, but that might be just because senor mysterioso stands on my dashboard.
he looks like this: http://www.mcphee.com/senor/stories.html
Crap. It is 10:20 and I am now dying for fried plantains.
nonlineargirls last blog post..A friendship, full of mystery and hope
I was a newlywed in the mid-80′s, so forgive me my choices.
Sergio Mendez’ “Never Gonna Let you Go” was OUR SONG. I liked a lot of jazzy things, too, like Spyro Gyra and Jeff Lorber Fusion (Kenny G got his start with Jeff Lorber- Jeff is better). Then there was Linda Ronstadt’s journey into the past with Nelson Riddle; oh, my, the orchestrations! Ah, yes, I’m a music geek. It runs in the family.
And my minivan remains unnamed.
Daisys last blog post..Brett, Brett, Brett.
I totally loved ‘Ghost in the Machine’ by the Police, “Thriller” and “21″ by Chicago. So like ANY song from those albums totally takes me back (‘Every little thing she does is magic’, ‘Thriller’, ‘Will you still love me?’ are just some examples). Also, can AC/DC do any wrong?!?
I don’t name my cars or computers (of which I have MANY). But now my books are carefully cataloged and cherished.
The 80′s, wow, I was such a goody-two-shoes then. I listened to Amy Grant and Michele W. Smith. It’s actually kinda embarrassing to admit that.
So it’s really no help to you with your sons, but maybe a gas card in it for me?
My husband and I decided to go against the flow and instead of naming our cars (as all our friends do) we name our computers. It’s lovely to have my hands on Sven (my computer, duh) when I need blog inspiration.
-K
Kristins last blog post..If Mama Ain’t Happy
there is a post out there rock music that blackpeople love that give you all of my favorites…
ALL OF THEM
http://www.catsandbeer.com/music/the-top-10-rock-songs-black-people-love-a-post-written-by-a-black-person
and gimme some gas thanks…
p.s tons of good stuff in the comments over there as well…
I know I’m hoggin the comment but can I just put it out there that “Bennie and the Jets” is probably my JAM!!! of all time..
Raquitas last blog post..Lisa
Ok…If we are going to talk about the 80s, then people have to realize that the Talking Heads are totally 80s…Burning down the House, And she was…and prince really is timeless!
My car (2003 Pontiac Grand Am) is old, paid off, and gets me everywhere I want to go. His name is Herman
and I love him…wouldn’t trade him in for anything.
Kool Moe Dee, “Wild Wild West” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h1o3JaYSNU) followed by Whodini “Freaks Come Out at Night” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLYC7ltxOrk) Then finish with this sweet performance from UTFO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHTdYuRZeyU) of “Roxanne, Roxanne” fame.
My car’s called the Silver Bullet, because of how it looks. I’ve been trying to break the cycle of relaxing my hair, because I want my biracial daughter see her curls as an asset, not some flaw she has to overcome. I’m not sure that I’m willing to deal with the long grow-out process, though.
Yolandas last blog post..Arrythmic
My favorite 80′s song? I have to only pick one?
“Bringin’ on the Heartache” by Def Leppard.
What? Shut up.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarahs last blog post..The World Just Keeps Getting Smaller
Where is the Oingo Boingo? I saw Oingo Boingo open for the Police twice in the 80′s. Both groups RULE and both lead singers are very successful today.
The girl from Romeo Void runs an art school out here in the Coachella Valley.
My car’s name is Kelly. Kelly is such a good girl, and fast too. Nobody tailgates Kelly.
Toms last blog post..Why I Kiss My Wife Goodbye Everyday
Oh. My. God. My brain just exploded with 80′s music goodness.
My era. Sigh.
Ok, here goes the cheezy (I love the cheezy):
Aldo Nova – Fantasy
Greg Kihn – (I lost on) Jeopardy
Ratt – Round and Round
Now the good:
ANYTHING THE POLICE DID. ’nuff said.
MY Van’s name is Max – short for Maximum Capacity.
Shash
Shashs last blog post..The Lost Meme
Springsteen, BonJovi, Police (Zenyatta Mandatta, Canary in a Coal Mine),
Also, can’t remember if this is 70′s 0r 80′s though a guy I dated turned me onto them in the 80′s…The Style Council. Best album evah!!
merlotmoms last blog post..Making Lemonade Out of Lemons – Sort Of
Hmmm. the 80s. They did have great dance music!
Let’s see…Prince, “I Wanna Be Your Lover” Anything Prince!
I don’t remember the name of the group, but the song is, “Friday Night, Just Got Paid”.
Anything, Earth, Wind & Fire, James Brown (who cares, whether it was 70s or 80s) it’s still hot!
If we’re going oldies, Let’s go with Maze, Marvin Gaye, Chaka Kahn, Larry Graham, Rolls Royce, Smoky Robinson, Cameo, Blue Magic, Stylistics.
My daughter who is 13 loves this music and wonders why no one makes great music like that anymore. She thinks we’re corny, but we had great music.
http://www.indigeneartforms.blogspot.com
OOOHHH!! Another funpost by the lovely Mocha!!
80′s music ocked! Loved KISS (though I think they were more 70′s); the hair bands (and being a Jersey girl, gotta say Bruce “Jersey Girl”and Jon “Runaway” are favorites of mine)
Have a great school year!!
I’m much older than you, (early beatles were our date music), but I did still listen to music in the 80′s, so Bette Midler “The Rose”.
I had a yellow 59 T-bird I called Tweety during the 80′s.
And, like everyone else, I could use a little gas.
Fried Plantains… mmmmmm… Sugar’s mouth is watering!
Quick comment on the “worst hair” bullshit… WHAT? How is that the worst? I would think that stick straight and stringy thin would be WAY damn worse than bold beautiful waves in all the heaps of glory that many a woman hath paid hansomely to have (remember perms in high school?).
And that takes me to gas. And my first year of driving. When I would complain about having to pay for my own gas. At $0.98 per gallon. Now when I say that out loud I sound like my old Nana that used to tell me about bread that was forty cents a loaf and then I would laugh at her and say, “Deal with it lady!” She’s probably sitting on some cloud laughing her old curly-haired Mexican ass off at me…
Deal with it, Princess!
I wear my sunglasses at night – Corey Hart!
scoutjs last blog post..So yeah…. I’m writing a book. Seriously.
It has occurred to me that I haven’t even said how I’d choose a winner.
BUT I WILL. I WILL TELL YOU.
As soon as I figure it out.
Also? Hasn’t anyone thought of the B 52s? I just did because Morgan, out of the blue, started singing “Rock Lobster“. FROM NINETEEN EIGHTY-SEVEN.
I’m immensely proud. Proceed to leaving songs and car names. They’re enormously entertaining and y’all are great.
Mochas last blog post..Passing Gas
Ok….how can you not think of Journey when you remember the 80′s?
Open Arms & Faithfully….classics!!!
“Roxie” and I cruise down the interstate and she doesn’t even mind that I can’t carry a tune in a bucket as I sing them to the top of my lungs…..remembering!!!
Can someone please explain to me the fried plantains thing? I feel clueless here!
Second comment here. I promise not to count MYSELF.
Elizabeth – go here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tostones-Fried-Plantains/Detail.aspx
Then make them.
Then pass out on the floor with a smile.
Then, call me and pledge your love.
Wow… I don’t think you’re gonna want to intro your sons to my favorites from the 80′s –
AIR SUPPLY
MICHAEL BOLTON
I will agree, though, anything Journey too
Bon Jovi.
Geeeesh, I feel old now. I graduated from h.s. in 1985. Our prom song was “Heaven” by Brian Adams. I was apparently the only one who felt it was inappropriate LOL
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near Yous last blog post..an ode to Akismet
ONE WORD… SHANNON.. LET THE MUSIC PLAY… opps maybe thats more than one word… But that song still rocks to this day.
Melanie!!! AWW that was my Jam!!!!
now my car had no name but my camera does.. Memphis..
Kelly:
Roger. Wilco.
I got my decades mixed up and spent my college years — aka the 80s — listening to The Grateful Dead, The Beatles and Bob Marley.
So…… “Ripple” “Norwegian Wood” and “Three Little Birds”
I know, I know. What can I say? I was ahead of — or behind? — the times.
Ellies last blog post..The Journey
Got it, LOVE SHACK by the B52′s–still listen to it on my ipod and dance around crazy and drive my 16 YO insane!!!!!!!!!
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