This probably isn’t a very good confession, but I’ll go ahead and admit it: for the last week and a half I have been late to work every single day. It’s because I stay up far too late and watch the Olympics and I tell myself, “Ok, go to bed after this event.” Forty minutes later I say it again, this time with much more force in my voice (these are all aloud): “What are you, crazy? Go to bed NOW.”
Since track and field is one of my favorite events I know that tonight will be a late night again. It’s the only sport where someone is waiting on the sidelines to hand you the flag of your country to wear as a shawl (a shawl? yes, a shawl) while you pose for the cameras. What about those people who don’t win? Are the shawl-bearers watching them come in 7th place and do they quietly tuck the flag into their bags hoping that no one will notice their embarrassment?
Just some thoughts going through my head.
Something just occurred to me while writing this: shoes. It’s like a sickness, I swear. But if you want to win a $500 shopping spree to Zappos, go confess your parenting secret here. One of my favorites:
“My son threw up on the carpet last night and I left it there hoping the dog would eat it.”
My confession to win shoes:
In order to get my son to give up his “blankie” I told him that we needed to lay it down in the backyard and let the Blanket Fairies come get it to take to the forest animals. Then, I snuck outside and retrieved it only to put it away in the closet. When he whined for it I told him to stop being selfish. Those forest animals get COLD in the winter and he had a sweater and a furnace so DEAL WITH IT.
Confess, my child. You’ve got parenting stories, too.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Fine, discriminate against us childless people, why don’t you? Well, not you, Zappos, but I can’t go yell at a company.
Avitables last blog post..Forget THE MAN, it’s all about the old folk
But I talked about SPORTS, Avitable. You might add a story about how your parents betrayed you somehow. I’m sure you have some stories like that.
A couple of years ago my son’s tooth fell out while were out of the house. I put it in my pocket and somehow lost it before we could put it out for Roy*. I told him to put a cup half full of water on the bench for Roy anyway. Next morning there was 20c in there just like every other tooth that had fallen out.
“But dad, why did Roy pay for a tooth he didn’t get?”
“Roy doesn’t pay for the tooth. Roy is like an insurance underwriter. He’s paying you for the tooth you lost, not buying the tooth from you. So that 20c is for the gap in your mouth, the same as if someone crashes into my car and then they pay to fix my car.”
*watch “Santa Claus” and stop laughing. My kids call the tooth fairy Roy. It’s what Roy wants.
Big Mike In Ozs last blog post..It starts.
ROFLMAO! You just made my day.
Pams last blog post..McCain & The Mortgage Crisis
I haven’t watched one single second of the Olympics. Am not a good American.
Great confession! I wish that would work with Luke’s thumb, but it is attached afterall.
Truemomconfessions.com, although a good idea to vent anonymously about the frustrations of motherhood and commiserate with others doing the same, can also be VERY depressing to read about how many women out there in the world who actually are THAT frustrated to admit to some pretty nasty stuff. But the shoe giveaway: pure genius!!!! Guess that’s why the site is so popular, huh?
I’ve been late myself…for the same reason! lol
Patrices last blog post..nothing in particular
Darn, I wish I had a confession that tops that “throw up on the carpet” one. That was hilarious!! The best I can do is to confess that I periodically tell my daughter that I will shave her head like Brittney Spears if she would prefer not to put the convulsions to the side long enough to get it combed.
Proud to say it works every time…
Ms. Bar Bs last blog post..Never Sell Yourself Short
My confession is a bit deep. Raising teenaged girls is hard… really really hard… You might hate me after you read it… but it’s the truth… and I’m sticking to it.
http://www.living-intheory.com/2008/02/spirited-cries.html
Sugars last blog post..Monsters
The dog eating vomit takes the cake. I don’t think your confession is that bad, it was a very clever way to get your son to give up the blankie.
Renee aka MekhisMoms last blog post..The Nile Ain’t Just A River in Egypt
My mom had my favorite uncle offer to trade me some stuffed monkeys for my blanket. It totally worked. AND, when I moved away at 29 my mom gave me my blanket back to help soothe the homesickness of living hundreds of miles from home. She’s a keeper, that one.
When my children have whined for Happy Meals, ice cream, or other treats in the car, I have been known to flip open my cell phone, conspicuously pretend to hit buttons, say “Hi McDonalds! Are you open today? Oh, no? You’re only open on weekends? OK, we’ll try again later!”
And Mocha? You were very right and very astute – it was most definitely a Blue Moon with lemon.
xoxo
JessicaAPISSs last blog post..Get A Sitter: Downtown Silver Spring Bars
Love the throw up on the carpet confession. Damn if I don’t try and ignore some shit, hoping it will go away or clean itself … like my bathrooms!
Wifey’s Houses last blog post..I Suck
My youngest son had a reflux problem, my oldest son was always getting in his face and I would tell him to stop. One day my son came in saying, “Mom, James slobbed on me”! Sure enough, his brother had thrown up in his face… I said, “Hang on”, got my camera and took pictures before I cleaned it off…
LOL Thats a good one. I wish I had a dog
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