My mother saves everything.
For instance, when I moved to my own place and had nothing but my clothes and nothing for a kitchen she gave me an antique clay bowl that I have pined for since I was little. When I was in college she asked us girls to tell her what we’d want to have of hers someday and I only listed that.
“You know that bowl you used to make chocolate chip cookies in when we were young? I want that.”
“What else?
“Nothing. Just the bowl. I will dub it The Cookie Bowl.”
Thankfully, she didn’t wait too much longer and gave it to me when I whined about not having anything, not even dishes to eat off of nor a table at which to sit.
This story isn’t about The Cookie Bowl.
When I was 29 my mom lived far away and I was in full-swing of being a mom of young children and working and missing out on the opportunity to glean wisdom from her on a daily basis. We are making up for that right now. I didn’t realize how much she’s been rubbing off on me until a friend pointed out that I quote my mother a lot. Some of her wise old sage sayings are a part of my vernacular. “If you bend over backwards for people, Kelly, eventually you will lose your balance” is probably my favorite and one that actually came out of my mouth today. Even when I uttered those words to a co-worker I knew that I was also saying them for myself because I am emotionally spent on a student lately. It’s not that I’m doing too much for her but that I feel entirely inadequate in supporting her and meeting all the demanding needs I see in her. Truthfully, she’s not doing the demanding. I see a need and so badly want to fill it.
I’m trying to watch over her and I need to reflect on why that is.
At 29 when my mom lived far away she sent me an email that had been going around about children watching the things their parents do without the knowledge of their parents knowing they were being watched. She took it out the other day and showed it to me. As soon as I read it I asked if I could blog it. She, in her infinite wisdom, replied, “Yes, but I have full copyrights.”
Here it is:
Hi, Mom. I made up my own for you…
Your Child Is Watching…
When you though I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of a friend with AIDS and watch him die and you taught me that caring for others is immeasurable in friendship.
When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you cry when I had a baby, got married, made mistakes, make good choices and you taught me that crying is a happy response to not only failure, but to success.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite food for me and smile when I closed my eyes and sighed, “uummmmm” because it’s important to serve others and the appreciation you get is from their satisfaction.
When you thought I wasn’t looking I heard you say that you were proud of me to your friends and your mother and I learned that you really like me as a person and not just your child.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you kiss daddy passionately and I learned to feel safe and secure as a little girl because my parents loved each other and I felt loved by that.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give up a nice house and cars and struggle on your own when Daddy left and realized that you were a person and not just my mother.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you smooth my clothes and brush my hair with a huge smile on your face because you wanted to do it.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of your grandchildren and you taught me the joy of being a mother again.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your hardships and you taught me that when life knocks you down you get back up again because you are strong enough.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes I hurt you and to be careful of your feelings because you are tender.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared about my making good decisions and allowed me to make mistakes because that’s how we learn.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of what I know about God and how He was there even when you weren’t looking.
My mother has given me tremendously more than that Cookie Bowl.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a great post. I’m stumbling it. Also, I love my mom.
This post makes me miss my mom so much right now. Still, it is a beautiful post. Thank you for writing this, and thanks to your mom for the release of the copyrights
Shash
that is wonderful and inspiring.
Very fine post!
Well done – as a daughter, I can relate. As a mother, I can hope.
All the things I wish I’d had and hope I am providing for my own children. Beautiful.
I’m going to link to this, if you don’t mind.
How fortuitous fir you both to have each other in this life.
Stumble and link away. I’m honored that anyone would do so.
I LOVE this. And the whole story reminds me of a wooden salad bowl that is the one thing I have requested from my Grandma when it is her time. I have already gotten everything else I could ever need from her.
This is just lovely.
Excellent, just excellent
Mmmmmm, lovely.
It’s way too early in the morning for me to already be sitting up here boo-hooing
Simply beautiful and I will find a special way to share this with my own mother, thank you for sharing it.
This is a beautiful post and I could give it to my mother as is. It would make a lovely gift. Thank you for sharing this.
Amen…
I wish I still had my mom to share this with. Instead I will share it with my daugher. Hopefully she will see herself and call me.
I love this poem.
Thank you for sharing with me everyday. I’m so blessed to have you impart in me your thoughts and its real. That’s why there is no one I trust more that would be there and will last.
This is so amazingly beautiful. High proof that we don’t need to wait until Mother’s Day to bring out the big guns of love. It also made me think about what kind of mother I want my kids to see when I’m not watching.
Keep bloggin’ girl. This is a great love story about two strong, compassionate women. Remember, Mr. Culp used to say,”We never really lose something or we get ourselves into trouble.” He said it when we were so used to winning choir competitions. Now I realize that wisdom stays with me when I realize so many things we can lose, and how many different ways I can get into trouble. You are right, the things we have to work out ourselves are the things that make us grow the most. I can’t be the person I am today without all of that hard work. Now, if I can only be so forgiving with my own children some day;)
First, please thank your mother for allowing you to share with us.
I have a wonderful mother who I am blessed to share time with on a daily basis. Until I became a mother myself earlier this year I didn’t realize how much I appreciate or love her.
All the while momma is challenging to shop for on ANY holiday. It has been a difficult year for our family in so many ways that she has asked her children not to buy a gift for her or my dad. Since I have lovely ornate paper and a pen this will fit the bill and is the most perfect gift even if I did have money to buy her her heart’s desires.
beautifully written little sister –
as usual you have have taken feeling and put it into words. Mommy if you read this, multiply that by 2. Although I am sure it is more like x3. We love you! Kuddos sis!