Mallory and I are attending tonight’s showing of Ira Glass and we’re beside ourselves. This is her Christmas present and the most unselfish thing I decided to do when I purchased the tickets a few weeks ago was invite myself along so that we could cherish Ira in all his chunky-glasses glory together. If you aren’t familiar with Ira Glass then I am only able to say this: he is the Jesus of Cool.
I’m going to hope for a much better time at this auditorium since she and I last attended the symphony (I know! Like grownups! I’m a patron of the arts!) where this enormous, juicy fly continued to harass me until I killed him when he landed on my leg and then he fell to his death right between me and the elderly woman to my right. Part of me was embarrassed that Mallory had laughed at me swatting at something which she says wasn’t there and because it landed smack between the stranger next to me. But then I remembered this old lady was releasing silent, pillowy farts throughout the entirety of the first movement of The Butterfly Lovers Concerto. So, in a way, that old broad kind of deserved the dead fly lying there.
But really, I have nothing against septuagenarians. She just must have had something loaded with fiber before coming to that symphony.
Tonight, I will attempt to get Ira Glass stashed in my clutch purse if he’s willing to be folded up and then I can blog about how he lives in my basement and broadcasts his radio show from there.
Maybe he’ll help me pick a winner for the Shabby Apple dress, too. He’s been looking forward to that all day. I’m just certain of it.
Winner will be announced on Monday!
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“…But then I remembered this old lady was releasing silent, pillowy farts throughout the entirety of the first movement of The Butterfly Lovers Concerto.”
Ah… I’m looking forward to old age… the things I can get away with!
I’m hoping you’ve seen this? http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_2&listing_id=18399828
Ooh, ooh, me first. I want Ira Glass in my purse first! So jealous. I lurve him! Have fun.
Just think of all the interesting conversations you two will have in your basement.
I hope you have a wonderful time!
Karyn
Rhi, I hadn’t seen that but now that I have I feel fulfilled in the most delicious way. Thank you!
I think my life would be more satisfying with an Ira Glass finger puppet.
Ira was magical, by the way. I left there feeling hopeful and tranquil and wanting to be a better writer. He refused my request to get into my purse but that did nothing to deter me from adoring him.
Mmm. Yummy.
That’s a shame because I was looking forward to visiting your basement.
Just today I told my friend Mo that everything I’ve learned about being Jewish I’ve learned from This American Life. I know, this is sad. But all the stories rock.
TAL episode on the Ground Game – last days of the campaign in PA was fantastic. btw, usually big, fat juicy flies lurk around dead animals and rotting flesh..
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