You hear words like, “Oops! Almost forgot my probe.”
You notice that there are 3 giant alphabet letters stuck to the cabinet that the sonogram machine is on and they are “V”, “A” and “G”.
You see your uterus on a giant display screen on the wall while getting a sonogram and think, “That would make an awesome screensaver.”
You are told that the doctor probably won’t need to examine you again so you start to put your clothes on, walk over to the “soiled gowns” basket to throw yours in and find yourself totally nude except for your knee-high argyle socks in front of your doctor who does, in fact, decide he wants to see you once more before you leave. AND THEN HE LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN WHEN YOU BACK AWAY TO HIDE BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
This is everyone, right?
That’s so funny, no it hasn’t happened to me this way, but one time I had to step outside of the room holding my gown closed in the back only to realize that there was a giant whole (not the opening) over my right butt cheek for the office to see……
well this is just a tid more extreme than leaving your panties out…..lol
Oh, my god–arygyle socks?
Kidding, I’d love a pair of arygle socks.
I went last week to the gyn–and then later that day I put the girls in the squeeze-o-matic. Good times!
I think the worst part of my gyn appointment was that my son (he’s 5)was with me…for the most part he played with some matchbox cars that he found in the waiting room, but while I was being examined, he pushed the cars down to the doctors’ chair where I saw him seeing a part of his mama that he hadn’t seen since he came out.
His expression was muddled…the doctor and I quickly asked him to play on the other side of the room. Hopefully he’ll quickly forget this–I so do not want this to be one of those moments that is burned into his brain. Maybe if he turns out to be a gynecologist in the future, we’ll know why…
Sounds like my last exam.
I won’t go into the details, but my ex’s sister-in-law had an experience in which her gynecologist and a nurse started laughing when they began her exam.
I am now officially afraid, very afraid of my upcoming appointment next week…
Of course I will also be laughing uncontrollably the entire time visualizing the “VAG Machine” and the argyle socks! Thanks for a painfully funny story. I definitely needed that today.
My mother’s doctore left an instrument inside her and left the room for some reason. Horrified and disgusted, she worked her vag muscles and shot his tool across the room. Ha ha… when he returned, she told him off.
And Jonathan – you can’t do that…spill it!
uhhh I meant ‘doctor’ not ‘doctore.’ It’s not some pretentious French-Canadian spelling, promise.
I’m in the stirrups and the doctor starts sniffing and saying what is that smell? She was referring to the heat coming on for the first time, but. . .Then she said she had a very keen sense of smell, and said something about it not being an advantage in her field.
i don’t think i’ve had that as a gynecological experience, no. date gone VERY wrong? maybe…
Well, I haven’t had anything like that, but once back when I was expecting my 2nd child and was having my monthly check, the DR was elbow deep and some (icky) guy just barges in looking for his wife. The Dr. litterally threw himself ontop of me and said no you’re wife is not in here. You could see the anger seeping from the DR. But everytime I see that guy, I think about it. And it’s been 11 years ago now.
You do check to see that there is actually a degree on his wall….right?
And that it’s not from a community college….right?
I must admit though, the screen saver idea is pretty sweet. Look into that one.
If you went home and had a shot of something extra in your coffee afterward, then yes. Been there, done that. And you reminded me I should make an appointment. *sigh*
When I was in medical school, we (females) had a teaching program for the “new recruits” where we pretended to be patients and taught them to do pelvic exams.
One of my students spread out the drape and actually said, “I feel like I’m at a picnic!”
Then he turned bright red.
Afraid we didn’t help. We couldn’t stop laughing.
Are you shopping for a new gynecologist now?
Although, I think maybe the word “VAG” spelled out might be enough to keep me. I mean, how can you not appreciate that kind of sense of humor?
“That would make an awesome screensaver.”
bwaa haaa haaa!!!
So, some of these stories are a wee bit different but STILL. You have these experiences and I feel a little better. Even if you have pretentious “doctores” in Canada.
Who wants these cute argyle socks now? I don’t know if I can wear them ever again.
And that is why I always have a female gyn.
It hasn’t actually happened. Maybe because I’m male. But I have a dream with a similar ending. What does that mean?
I’m sort of stuck on the fact that I would:
a) be just as horrified if I were wearing nothing but argyle socks for a female gyne
and
b) hate to try to interpret “a dream with a similar ending”. Because? All sorts of innuendo.
My ex’s sister-in-law told me this story maybe 3 weeks after I met her:
She was prepped for examination. Her doctor entered the room and began the exam. He started laughing. He went to get an assistant, brought her in, and she began laughing.
Of course the sister-in-law is wondering what is so funny.
Long story short: rogue piece of toilet paper.
Oh, snap!
The VAG thing was too funny.
Something always seems to go wrong when I visit the gyno. I think they teach them that?
Too, too funny. Of course they come in without knocking – it’s in OB/GYN training, i believe.
Uh, I’d have to say No. Find a woman GYN- they have better manners.
I would have suddenly worried if I’d remembered to shave that morning.
No, your experience isn’t normal/typical. Yrs ago my ob/gyn left after exam, & nurse said to get dressed & Dr. wouldn’t be back. Dr. came right back in (alone)–but I was in hurry & already dressed. He shut door, grabbed me in “bear hug” and began fondling me, saying (disappointment obvious & normally I would have been half-dressed if not in huge hurry) “you sure got dressed quick” and “you know, you shouldn’t wear your shorts that tight.” (summer–was wearing cut-off jeans). Kept me from escaping by blocking door (me: 5’2″–him about 6’3″). I was in shock, 21 yrs old. Switched drs.immediately–but no female gyns in town back then. Later found he had repution for doing similar crap w/many patients. Regret I didn’t report him to med. society. But was 1974 & he was “the best ob/gyn in town.” Also well known religious “pillar of community.” Creepy & scary. Finally let me go after I told him my husband was in waiting room. Laughed & slapped me on ass as I left room as final humiliatiion. Never told husband (now ex) as figured he’d rush in & kick Dr’s ass…wish I had kicked him someplace else. Did tell my mom, who said her ob/gyn had asked her, *during exam*, if it “felt good.” In those days, many or most women subjected to this felt powerless & only option was to find new dr.