Today was one of those days when I really wanted to sleep in late because there’s a new sinus infection brewing in my upper facial regions that I’m considering making a phone call to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not just to get them to come shove a camera up my nose to take pictures. And while I’m still verklempt over your unbelievable outpouring of support for my student Anna I can’t help but go in another direction today and wax poetic about phlegm. Yet, I also need to remind you that I always get like this when I’m under the influence of medicinal products like Sudafed which, yes, is used to make meth and now that I’ve ingested some of it and am writing in these long, run-on sentences betraying my English Lit. degree from undergrad I have to say that it’s best that pharmaceuticals and I don’t mix because my own brand of Crazy is best left unsullied by not-so-over-the-counter drugs where you have to produce your license, a pint of blood, your social security number, your last 5 years worth of tax receipts and the promise of your firstborn child JUST TO GET SOME NASAL RELIEF.
This is what makes me want to move to Mexico where la farmacia has all kinds of stuff available.
Ok, so I won’t write about phlegm but there is something pretty fantastic that you have to see but first I shall write another run-on sentence. Mallory works as a designer for a furniture place and hey! that’s great! because now she’s using her college degree and yet she still works like three jobs because we’re in a recession and she’s trying hard to make ends meet except that she moved back in with me which is great because hey! she was an excellent roommate the first 20 years and one day at work she had to go “on site” which meant she needed to wear a hard hat and she was all, “I need a pink hard hat!” to her co-workers but they didn’t see The Funny in that but I found it totally hilarious and 1/10th of my body actually found it quite serious because hello! Pink! Hard hat! so here is a picture of it because someone at work FINALLY GOT HER CUTE JOKE and they spray-painted one for her and it’s all kinds of awesome:
If you don’t think the idea of a pink hard hat is completely phenomenal then you really need to come and try some of these expired drugs I’m on so that you, too, can love it and possibly also dream about crossing the River Styx to shop for lip gloss made from leftover Greek foods.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate that whole meth-lab crap.
I have four boys, and they all get sick at the same time, but I’m only allowed to buy 30 Claritin D per month?
In a household of 6, that’s not even enough to last 3 days.
I’ve been forced to ask my neighbors to sign THEIR lives away on occasion.
Of course, if anyone actually looked at our consumption, they’d be convinced that we WERE a meth lab, wouldn’t they?
That’s cool that someone at work actually went to that effort.
Awesome hat! And I’m just waiting on allergy season so I can start my own meth lab! One of these years I’ll actually go see a doctor who can prescribe me some meds that actually work. But isn’t breathing through the nose so overrated?
I have pink shoes for the field. However, I feel like I need to intervene and mention that hardhats should never be spray painted. Something about not being able to check for hairline cracks or structural integrity or something. Okay, safety rant over.
I do love pink field gear!
@The Mother – I think we could all chip in and collectively get some for your household. That’s not illegal, is it?
@Avitable – I know! I think it was so awesome that they took the time to make her day.
@Meg – Should we wear the hats during allergy season? I think it would have the same effect as a tin foil hat.
@Amy in StL – You’re probably right. What companies would just make them in pink for us anyway? I say “us” like I need one. But after she got one I really wanted one, too.
back in the 80′s my mom was a woman welder which was like, a big thing back then…. and, she was the only girl (er, WOMAN) in a shop of boys (er, BOYS)…. and, she painted her hat pink and painted rainbows and other stuff… she also spray painted ALL of her tools pink so that none of the guys would take ‘em. No boy would be caught dead with a pink hammer, trust me
http://www.coopersafety.com/results.aspx?categoryid=58&pageindex=1&a1=Color&av1=Pink&f=g&c=ghardhats&gclid=CMTZ4vj7hpkCFRo-awoddCMnnw
Neti pot. Really. I resisted, but when the doc saw I was on my second Zpak in three weeks, he told me I needed to try it.
So far, it’s working. If I stay healthy for a while, I think I’ll reward myself with a pink hard hat. It’ll protect me at parent-teacher conferences, at least.