It’s been a long week of travel and business and it culminated with flying back in to St. Louis on Saturday. Mallory graciously agreed to pick me up even though she was in St. Louis hanging out with former college roommates and friends so letting her mom tag along on the Saturday night party was more than enough to give her Good Daughter Points. For the last week I’ve slept in a hotel where they fold the toilet paper into a little diamond point and I even had a car service (just for fun when I saw the driver holding a sign with my name on it I deliberately walked slower because I wanted to savor the moment!) so let’s just say I was well taken care of for this particular trip.
When we stayed in St. Louis we were going to sleep at Claire’s house who is shown in the previous post (she’s on the right) and I must say that her hospitality was far superior to the Westin. She let me sleep in her parents’ room and she even lay out towels for me on the bed complete with a little chocolate and a card she wrote in for me! (Best line from that card: “Who doesn’t love a chimp conga line?“) (You love a chimp conga line, don’t you?)
But staying in a bedroom with a rather large statue of Jesus didn’t go over well with me.
So I turned him around to face the corner.
I just couldn’t deal with a Jesus statue. What if I woke up in a strange bed in the middle of the night and looked over to see him Him staring at me and then I screamed? What if that woke up the rest of the household? WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IN THAT SITUATION?
So before I went to sleep I walked over to the corner and turned Jesus around.
Holy crap. I put Jesus in a time out.
March 9, 2009 @ 9:12 am | Filed under But Funny To Me | Permalink |
Maria Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 9:35 am
Yeah. You’re gonna burn.
Claire Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 9:54 am
But, it’s not really Jesus, just a statue of, so I think you’re fine. This is why you are friends with Catholics like us. We can justify just about anything.
Sra Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 10:11 am
I probably would have put a towel or sheet over him myself. Big sad statues of Jesus creep me out.
furiousBall Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 10:23 am
holy shit… you just invented “Time Out Jesus”
Angella Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 12:22 pm
That photo MADE MY DAY. I’m pretty sure Jesus is laughing too.
The Mother Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 1:01 pm
Best chuckle I’ve had all day!
nec Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
Now THAT, I say THAT, made me laugh…. I almost peed my pants :o)
Loralee Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
BWAH HA AH AHA H HA HA! That is one of the funniest things I have seen in a very long time.
The laugh was much needed.
Karen Sugarpants Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
It’s okay Kelly. He totally had his game boy under his robe. Cue Mario tune: do do do da do do ..boop..do do do da do do do dodododododooo….
trench Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
I’m thinking Blair Witch thoughts here.
If this happens again please - lights out, flashlight on, and shaky cam.
And say “Oh, Jesus, ohgodohgodohgod” a lot.
Blog post = ftw
Avitable Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
I think in movies whenever kids or anyone is staring in a corner and won’t respond, that’s even creepier!
veep veep Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 3:54 pm
Nobody puts Jesus in a time out
White Hot Magik Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
Nobody puts Jesus in a corner. Jeez Kelly! Okay I think I would have had to done the same. I think Jesus understands your need for privacy.
Jodie Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 4:28 pm
I laughed. Then I wondered, “Did she turn it back around before she left?” Then I imagined the holy freakout if they returned to that. Then I laughed more. Thanks, I needed that today.
Mocha Momma Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
Ok. Funny story. Well, funny follow up story to this. The next day Claire’s parents came home (and yes, saying that makes me feel like a teen who stayed at their friends’ house) and I cleared all my stuff out. We all went out to eat and were recounting the Jesus In A Time Out story.
Claire yells, “OH MY GOD, DID YOU TURN THE JESUS FIGURE BACK AROUND BEFORE MY MOM SAW IT?”
“Yes, Claire. I did.”
Turf Dad Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 8:21 pm
He could still see what you were doing Kelly.
Emily Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
This made me think of reading stories in my youth of Jesus visiting people throughout the Bible. I used to pray, “Please Jesus, don’t ever visit me because I will be so afraid I will probably die of fright.”
Suebob Said,
March 9, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
White Hot Magik stole my line! Dang.
Big Mike In Oz Said,
March 10, 2009 @ 1:23 am
I have 1 question and 1 observation;
What were you up to in someone else’s bedroom that you felt the need for Jesus to avert his gaze?
There’s no way any of my kids would have been made with a piece of artwork like that supervising proceedings.
angie Said,
March 10, 2009 @ 8:14 am
That’s funny, and it really shouldn’t be!
Woman in Transition Said,
March 10, 2009 @ 9:36 am
Oh, yeah, I’d say you soaked your thong in gasoline with that one… LMAO!
Hilarious!
Miss Profe Said,
March 10, 2009 @ 10:11 pm
Ha, ha!
How big is the statue?
Where can I get one? LOL
Nichelle Said,
March 11, 2009 @ 6:29 pm
That was sooooo freakin funny!!! 1/2 of my closest friends are teachers in elementary - high school - I’m going to send them to your blog!
Claire Said,
March 12, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
Did I really yell that loud at lunch? I guess I did but it was more in laughter than worry. And, for the record, that was recent purchase at an antique store and it’s maybe two feet tall. Remember, we’re Catholic, we’ve seen worse. Now I feel the need to point out that in our house there is also a leg lamp from A Christmas Story, an Addams Family pinball machine, and a light up palm tree, so really Time Out Jesus totally fits…
Assertagirl Said,
March 14, 2009 @ 6:18 pm
“Nobody puts Jesus in the corner.”
I probably would’ve put him in the closet, so there.
Mocha Momma » All I Do For St. Paddy’s Day is Erin Go Braless Said,
March 17, 2009 @ 6:05 pm
[...] talking about My Work and the students that come before me. Then I write something sort of stupid unbelievably blasphemous and totally crack myself up. Magically, no one tells me I’m going to hell when I write that. [...]
NYCity Mama Said,
April 3, 2009 @ 10:22 am
Hola Mierda! That was funny!
Gina Said,
April 11, 2009 @ 9:14 pm
I have a rather large Jesus statue - given to me when my father died - and I had to turn it around to face the wall when it was in my bedroom and I would have sex. It was just too much to have Jesus watch me have sex!
So yeah I am basically saying I totally understand! 