Different professions probably have their own certain phrases that are used so much they become a part of the everyday speech. I imagine that every time the guys at the garage see me coming in to have something fixed or replaced on my car they all mumble, “Another one bites the dust, boys. Here comes the lady who just hands over her checkbook to us. New tires!” Or maybe they just jump up and down in excitement when they see me approach knowing that I will throw money at them to make my car stop making whirring noises.
In education, especially at the administrative level, we know that we are an island unto ourselves. Sometimes there is no one else to bounce things off of and other times you have to keep so much to yourself that when the hits start coming you have no choice but to take them. But the phrase we constantly use is “I’ve just been thrown under the bus.” (This is followed by a sigh, a pregnant pause, and then, “Again.”)
This week alone I have often said this to the other administrators in my building: Boy. I don’t think there’s a bus left in town that I haven’t been thrown under.
When you’re the “boss” or even have the perception of being one, people will disagree with you. As an assistant principal I know that I make decisions that people don’t like. I know that I make the hard decisions that others don’t have to and then I have to live with them and with the criticism that follows. I know that parents blame ills of the system as a whole on me as a person and I am of the school of thought that there’s no way in hell I will accept such accusations as true. People say things and want to place the blame, but it’s usually not warranted. As usual, discipline is at the crux of what teachers dislike and I’ve come to the conclusion that I WILL NOT MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. Truly, I would be a millionaire if I had a dime for every time I heard, “You’re not a teacher anymore. You forgot what it’s like in the classroom.” There’s just no way to make everyone happy.
And I’m ok with that. On my little island I have realized that being ok is better than trying to please everyone. The other reminder to myself on a fairly regular basis: I’M HERE FOR THE STUDENTS.
That brings me to the student du jour and a little encounter I had with him today that ultimately gave me enormous pleasure. If I don’t laugh then I will have to tear out my hair. (Which? Ok. Sounds like a great idea! Think of all the shampoo and conditioner I will save on if I’m bald!)
Terrance drives me a little crazy. He is a student with more energy than one body ought to be allowed. He’s short and talks fast and trips over his words which is why he ends up repeating phrases in his speech when he’s talking to me. He’s pretty comical to me. My dealings with him are always with a grain of salt. One day last week he was “burning up” and kept saying, “Come on! I’m on fire! I can’t work in this heat!” This was, apparently, because it had finally reached a decent temperature and we hadn’t opened windows or turned on the air conditioning. Poor Terrance. He was groggy and sleepy and he wanted to argue with me about it much like a 5-year old would. But that’s about his speed so I just go with it.
“I do NOT control the weather, child. For real. Are you seriously complaining about that?”
I ended up giving him the small fan I had in my office and let him use it in his classroom (a small, self-contained classroom in a life skills type program that we offer). While I knew other students might be jealous of him it got him out of my face for a while. He seems to seek out my presence at school when he’s avoiding work. Terrance needs a bit of a different type of handling and, while he can be annoying, he is quite harmless in the grand scheme of things. And he likes me. Dear sweet Jeebus, that child likes me.
Today, as I was eating my lunch, I could hear the security guards mention that he’d escaped his P.E. class and went AWOL. In the span of five minutes I listened to the chatter on the radio I carry and quietly ate my lunch. The people eating lunch with me said things like, “That’s YOUR child” when they heard his name and I just rolled my eyes knowing that Terrance was working hard to interrupt my eating. Well, ok, maybe he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but I shoved the food in my mouth in preparation for having to leave the table all too soon.
“Terrance was spotted by the soda machine on the 1st floor.”
“Terrance has been seen walking around on the third floor.”
“Terrance is running from the security officers.”
Well, crap. Someone might have just said, “Terrance is going to ruin your lunch, Kelly, so give up the ghost and go chase after him!”
A few other things kept me from going to see him right away once he was caught and brought to the discipline office where my co-worker was waiting to hear from me about another issue. When I got to the office Terrance was sprawled across three chairs and trying to sleep.
Oh, no. No no no. This child will NOT be sleeping after this recent wild goose chase!
“Terrance!” I whisper-yelled. “Get up! Come with me.”
He whined for a full two minutes. Luckily, I seemed to have an extra dose of patience today. I continued to press him and tell him that he needed to get up. I waited for him and moved slowly to the door which I held open until he decided to rub his eyes and get up. I told him we were going for a walk because I needed some fresh air and was starting to go into my Afternoon Wind Down which is always coupled with a Do I Have Some Change For A Diet Pepsi To Wake Me Up?
We finally made our way to the front door and he pushed on my patience some more but I stuck with the same sentence, “Yes. We ARE going for a walk. Outside. Around the building. Let’s go.” He mumbled under his breath the whole time. We got to the door and he whined again. Again, I refused to give in to him and repeated what we were going to do.
About halfway around the school building I finally decided to ask him why he had left his class in the first place.
Mind you, we were outside. Walking. Around the building.
He stopped walking, copped a full on attitude pose, cocked his head to the side and said, “I left my P.E. class because I didn’t want to go OUTSIDE. I WANTED TO STAY INSIDE.”
There was so much effort on the part of my body to not give in to him that I burst out laughing because no energy was left to keep it in without falling over from exhaustion.
“Do you know what this is, Terrance? This is IRONY. It’s not a big word, but I’m going to explain it to you while we keep walking.”
By the end of the walk, he totally got “irony”.
Hell, yeah. I’m still a teacher.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Jeez, what was it, like 70 there?
It’s going to be 90 here in Palm Springs this weekend.
It was, like, 50 degrees yesterday.
Good for you on having 90 degree weather. How nice of you NOT to throw it in my face.
I remember having that speaking issue when I was a kid. I had so many ideas I wanted to get out that I ended up talking over myself.
The “Terrance has been spotted…” portion of this blog post needs to have a soundtrack. I’m thinking the main theme from The Great Escape. (well anyway, that’s what *I* heard when I read it).
That is all.
I just think you are the best… and what a gift you have in your sense of humor – very key in the job you perform!
Caffeinated Librarian’s comment…
“The “Terrance has been spotted…” portion of this blog post needs to have a soundtrack.”
can i write that music? please?
Love it – and way to teach irony as a life example! I probably would have just burst out laughing!
I love how you find humor in the crazy. The radio talk alone would have annoyed me to know end but your retelling of the story is hilarious. I really enjoy reading about your experiences with the kids. You are truly a positive role model for them.
Great post, as always. I love how you use real life experiences to teach. And your humour is intoxicating. Your children are lucky to have you.
Happy Conscious Friday!
When I was a teacher the buzz phrase for those opportunities was “reachable teachable moments.” Heh. Lucky Terrance.
Terrance, Terrance, Terrance. I feel as if I know you well. This stuff needs to be required reading for every adult in the country.
Love the story. What a high maintenance little boy. You are a saint for your patience.
Ah, teaching irony as an abstract concept can be so difficult. What a perfect opportunity you had to make it stick! And perhaps Terrence will stay in PE from now on? Perhaps?
Man, back in the day the nuns would not be tolerating Terrance. His a– would have been black and blue everyday. Shoot the Dean of Discipline in my Christian Brothers in high school had a paddle called “Retribution” and detention was called “JUG”, short for Justice Under God.
Terrance is a lucky cuss!
The irony of the situation is, Terrance will probably be the only kid in his class who actually gets irony.
So much of this post resonates with me. I’m not an administrator, just an ordinary teacher, but I’ve felt like a rock, an island, so much this year. There’s so much that’s out of my control, but within my circle of blame. I’m seriously questioning my career choice this year.
Thanks for this post. It’s encouraging. Better than Prozac – or so I’ve been told.
Terrance sounds like a handful, and I could help but laugh at the irony myself.
That was priceless! He didn’t want to go outside.
Too funny. Thanks for sharing that one.
um, i’m laughing my ass off remembering your impression of terrance. so funny!
I was just on your site and wanted to say I like what you are doing. Keep up the effort and keep the posts coming.
Every time I read one of your school posts I get into my complete crush mode all over again. You are just the coolest AP anywhere and any bus you’re under, I want to be under too.
What’s ironic is expecting a kid named “Terrance” to be anything but a terror on this earth. Latin, anyone?