Context, People. CONTEXT.

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I’m just standing. Minding my own business. Near a wall where a guy is also standing. I am absentmindedly thinking of the thousands of things my brain is running over at the beginning of my day.

“Are those real?”

My eyebrows raise. I stand up straighter and shift my weight to allow my body language to speak for me. My eyes close for a moment, but I know that I’m really rolling my eyes at this guy. This jerk. This idiot.

“Excuse me?”

“Your eyes. Are those real? Or are they contacts?”

All of a sudden he looks pretty innocent.

I feel pretty stupid.

“Oh. Yeah. These are my real eyes.”

People, you might want to set the context when you begin a conversation with a stranger using the words ‘Are those real?’.

Just a little lesson from me to you.

27 Responses to “Context, People. CONTEXT.”

  1. Deanna McNeil says:

    Phew, just glad to know they are REAL…just saying.

  2. Yolanda says:

    I don’t want to know if they feel real.

  3. Sra says:

    That is about the last way I would think to ask somebody if their eye color was real. I smell double entendre.

  4. Daddy Dan says:

    Maybe he was asking about something else but quickly changed to eyes when he saw your reaction. It’s a typical guy move.

    Then again, you do have stunning eyes, so I can imagine someone thinking they were contacts.

    P.S. Why were you hanging out by a wall?

  5. Mocha says:

    Deanna – And to think I made you wait all this time in wonder..

    Yolanda – I think that question would have gotten him a crotchpunch. Really.

    Sra – Possibly. I didn’t stick around long enough to try to figure the guy out. I walked away.

    Daddy Dan – SO TRUE. I’m way more stupid than I originally thought. So, thanks?
    p.s. None of your business. Geez, don’t you ever stand by walls?

  6. Avitable says:

    Well, there goes my typical conversation starter.

  7. Lisa says:

    What a great post. It made my morning. Thanks for the laugh.

  8. Meg Evans says:

    That was awesome!

  9. nec says:

    Hahaha

  10. Kristabella says:

    I would just use the standard Seinfeld line “They’re real and they’re spectacular!”

    It really works for anything.

  11. JenniferB says:

    I would say go with Kristabella’s response, but that would eliminate the possibility of a crotchpunch, which in certain times would be almost an actual requirement. Either way, you have spectacular eyes and hallalujah, they’re real! ;)

  12. furiousball says:

    what about your yoga pants? real?

  13. whall says:

    You were standing next to a whall and I didn’t even notice?!?!?!? But I *LOVE* them when they’re real!

  14. Mrs Soup says:

    Oh goodness! I agree with Daddy Dan. I think he just changed his question after your reaction. That’s probably how he managed to survive so long. Survival of the fittest and all that.

  15. Yes, they’re real. And they are fabulous.

    :)

  16. V's Herbie says:

    I think it’s a blue eye/brunette hair thing.

    I get that all the time too, and I’m of mostly European descent with a little Cherokee thrown in for flavor. With your ethnic heritage, “real” light eyes are even more rare.

  17. veep veep says:

    Luke and Harrison have blue eyes. Sometimes grey when its cold out. I think its different for men though. When the boys grow up, doubt anyone will ask them if their eye color is real. They would have asked Miss Nat but she’s got my eye color. As well as my sassiness ;)

  18. Maja says:

    Haha! That’s priceless – I also think he changed from boobs to eyes when he saw your reaction ;)
    I get the same question from time to time (concerning eyes that is!), in pictures people just assume I photoshop them lighter. I don’t!

  19. You go dressing up in the stuff you put photos of on this site and then you’re surprised when you get propositioned like that. And don’t deny it, you were propositioned, that guy just had a strong fallback because he’s used the line before and got on upside the head for his tardy retort.

  20. Miss Britt says:

    Well if you were wearing THE DRESS, I can understand the confusion… ;-)

  21. ms_teacher says:

    too frickin’ funny. Thank god I was NOT drinking anything! :p

  22. Elizabeth says:

    Yes, but was he hot? ;)

  23. Daisy says:

    Do all wallflowers get come-on lines like this?

  24. HA! That cracked me up =)

    The last time I was asked this, I was totally tricked. My husband and I were in the checkout at the grocery and the cashier asked the same thing, “Please don’t be offended, but are those real?” Since I’m not particularly busty, I was all super-proud and said “YES! EXCUSE ME!”

    And he said. “Wow, really? You’re very small. I just didn’t know if that was normal for some women or if it was a breast-reduction thing or what.”

    My husband still laughs about that. Sigh.

  25. Finn says:

    I probably would have just said, “Yes. And they’re spectacular.” Or possibly: “No, they’re just a figment of your imagination.” Works for boobs, eyes, whatever.

    I have similar reactions when people if ask me if “those are your eyes.” No, I paid the homeless guy on the corner $100 to borrow them for the day.

  26. Ha! I was gonna say…b/c I know how people stare at the breastisis…mine are ridiculous…if only I weren’t afraid of being put to sleep, they would have been gone a long time ago *visions of me buying a cute lil lacy bra* sigh…


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