There’s no way I’m going to post about something as lame as cheap implants but I was out of titles and I thought it would humor my good friend, Avitable. He’s easily entertained. BUT! He’s been giving me shit about not posting regularly and I was all, “Wait until school is out! I’ve been busy!” and he replied with “You are a dirty rotten whore. I don’t even like you.” We have a hate-hate relationship. It’s a beautiful thing.
On the serious tip, I’m having some writing block that is manifested because I’m always worried about who is reading and blah, blah, yadda, woo woo woo. I know. Just tell me to shut up and write already! In the interest of time and lack of paragraph formation I’m just going to take the easy way out. These are just some things occupying my brain lately and I have to put it down somewhere.
1. Weird, Funny Girls
Sometimes I just laugh when my students say funny things in front of me and forget that I’m there or that I’m listening. Last week two girls were hashing it out in my office (while I acted as mediator) and they were making up after having a little spat. I did my bit part and then proceeded to let them continue talking while I filled out forms and straightened up my desk.
Girl 1: Ok, so I’m sorry. Can we please be friends again?
Girl 2: Too late. I already replaced you with a midget who does juggling tricks.
Me, interrupting: I love you girls. Stay this way forever.
2. I Swear I’m Not A Man Hater
After a particularly rough year my mom and I decided to move in together last October since I’m single again. She does her thing. I do mine. Tonight she had a group of her friends over for movie night and they each made a dish to share. There was a couscous salad, chocolate covered strawberries, fresh vegetables and spinach dip, a ham and cheese ball, fresh baked artisan bread, and cheesecake. The entire day when I was at work I was wondering what this group would be like. The thing I kept envisioning is that scene from Jerry Maguire where Dorothy (Zellweger’s character) comes home to her sister Laurel’s house (played by the awesome Bonnie Hunt) and it’s filled with all these angry women. I asked my mom if my house would have a bunch of angry women giving me Man Hating Advice but she just laughed at that notion. During the meal one of the women said, “You know, I read this book that said you should stop eating when you feel full.” Then, the sassy Portia (who was LOVELY and kind and funny and who is old enough to be my grandmother) said, “It was probably written by a man!” My mom and I exchanged glances and we knew that my Angry Women’s joke was probably fulfilled. Later, when I was cleaning up the kitchen Portia came in while I lamenting the fact that I wanted a second piece of cheesecake she said, “Oh, honey. You have a darling figure.” I’m really going to like this group of wise cronies.
3. Stuff I’m Proud Of Doing
I have a group of friends of my own who get together every year for a Spa Weekend. We’re all teachers (even me, who’s gone on to the Dark Side of administration) and we refer to each other by last names most of the time. I think it’s a teacher thing. Or a P.E. teacher thing. In any case, this year we decided to do our regular dinner followed by a 5k Race for the Cure in Peoria and spend some time doing something worthwhile. This was my first race ever and I was eager to do it since I started running again. There is no other feeling in the world than coming up the last hill and seeing the finish line crowded with people cheering you on as you cross the line. I will remember this forever and am now inspired to do another, longer race. Basically, I’m telling you that because I know some people will hold me to it. As a bonus, right after the race I took a shower and slipped and my little toe hit the drain really hard so SCORE! I broke my toe right after the race. I’m still really proud of myself, though.
4. Music
I think I am in love with Blip.fm and I sort of have an addiction to it. I listen to these songs that everyone plays and find new stuff. Right now I am currently obsessing to and dancing along with The Ting Ting’s “That’s Not My Name”. It’s possible, but I cannot confirm, that I am making up a dance routine to it. It’s also probable that many of the dances are from Madonna’s “Lucky Star” video. Again, this cannot be verified. But it’s most likely true.
5. Stuff That I Still Want To Do
It’s highly likely that I will be pursuing my doctorate degree soon. I can’t seem to shake the fact that I want to do it and there are a few schools I’m looking into seriously at this point. I even went to visit Vanderbilt University in Nashville a while back and got the PhD bug. It’s an itchy motherfucker that I can’t shake but there is that nagging OH MY GOD DO I WANT TO GO INTO DEBT AGAIN FOR MY SCHOOLING? thing that I’m dealing with right now. Who, getting their doctorate, writes “itchy motherfucker” anyway? Yeah. I should just give up this ghost haunting me.
You live only once, as far as I’m concerned anyway. Go get that doctorate!
Well, if it’s a Doctorate of Badassedness, you should just wait. They’ll award you an honorary one soon enough and you won’t even have to take a single class!
Now’s as good time as any to get into debt.
btw, can I borrow a few hundred?
I think the world needs more PhDs who write “itchy motherfucker”. In fact, you should work that into your dissertation, somehow.
Oh, my GOSH! I just love you! I work as a para in our school and love that sometimes the kids think I’m part of the wall paint or something? and keep talking and the MOST hilarious things get discussed so seriously. And truly, I think running is of the devil, but am realizing that I need to move to the dark side and do it. So thank you for sharing and motivating, and YES, I will hold you to reporting your future “longer race”. As for the doctorate — yes, do it — you can make your kiddos do your laundry once a week, what would be better than that?
You don’t have to be a man hater to appreciate that men and women are just different.
And women, of course, are infinitely better.
Ting Tings are great, i will bash a lot of pop music, but they are doing it right. unapologetic sugary goodness
Go for it, GIRL! Dr. Badass has such a nice ring! Are you considering Vanderbilt?
I don’t think I could live with your mom. She is too much.
Consider Columbia. Unless you are in Nashville already. But, gosh. The whole time my husband was getting himself edified at Teacher’s College – i was seriously jealous. Truly, madly. Smart folk. Good times. And if you’re looking at debt anyway, why not some NYC-style debt? Plus, loads of schools to work in while you are there, and fellowships for public school teacher types. AND the only way housing in NYC is affordable-ish (student housing.)
Oh. The kids.
That’s what Mom’s for. Tell them they can all come visit.
For the record, every single person I went to grad school with would probably have said “itchy motherfucker” — they were a wonderfully foul-mouthed bunch.
My grad school professor said motherfucker all the time….just without the itchy.
Speaking of which, I am considering going back to get my law degree – I should have done it 5 years ago (to be honest), but I got my MBA instead. Main decision maker? Cost. Now I am thinking, I can either go to Law School and have over $200K+ in student loan debt, or not go to law school, still feel sort-of empty and have a mortgage eventually. Either way, I see the debt tsunami heading this way.
Tough decisions, eh?
Sra – You’re right. I should do it.
Avitable – I’ve been in schooling for that for like FOREVER.
JenniferB – But I kinda want my whites to stay white. They SUCK at laundry.
Whall, I can spot you if you co-sign the loan for college for me again, ok?
Maja – You’re funny. I will definitely try working that in!
Miss Britt – THIS is why YOU need a doctorate!
furiousball – I loved how you described them. Perfect.
Renee – Well, I was considering it and then I saw the pricetag. 55K a year. A YEAR.
anonymous – You’re right about that. (I’m kidding, Mom! KIDDING.)
CatrinkaS – No, I’m not in Nashville, but it’s a weekend program and 6 hours away. It would be doable except for that 55K price.
Julie – Then I’m in pleasant company.
Robin – You’re making this difficult because I want to encourage YOU but how can I do that without encouraging myself? Yeah. TOUGH.
Forget about the PhD. I’m waiting for your book. Enjoy your blog very much and if you wrote a book about being an administrator, I’d buy it in a flash.
seriously girl, take the summer off bring the kids , they can hang with my 6 and you can enjoy Montana… ps bring all the clothes and shoes…
You will have mucho fun and my find a cowboy or two…
aack.. sorry for the misspelling..!!
Maybe that could be the title of the thesis – “Itchy MF”. Or a working title at least.
And it’s so close to a Prince song that takes me back. Not all the way Purple Rain back, but back none the less.
I want a doctorate too — I was just accepted into an MA and an MFA program — but oh my god so damn expensive and I went into all this debt to start a business recently and I have mouths to feed (and send to college someday) — it’s just so overwhelming, so you know what I did? I asked for a deferment — never make a decision today if you can just put it off until winter!
#2- yeah, so…I planned on having one of these, then I started thinking about the scene in “Jungle Fever” where the sistas were sitting around taking trash…mmmh…didn’t think that would be me one day…yikes!
#3- Ummm…yeah, thanks for the new addiction http://blip.fm/Arounddawaygyrl added just now…so glad I’ll be working from home…