“Oh. I heard about the (whisper) divorce, Kelly. I’m so sorry.”
“Are you dating yet?”
“You’ll find someone.”
“Oh. I heard about the (whisper) adoptive daughter who came back into your life. Wow. Tell me more about that. How’s it going?”
“You seemed (whisper) depressed this past year in your writing.”
“You don’t have a (whisper) sponsor for this trip? WHAT?” (Indeed, I do. I like to call it My Job. My Paycheck. Sometimes I call it My Bitch.)
“I didn’t want to say anything to you last year because I have (whisper) anxiety about these social events.” (I’m not a rockstar, people. Just a regular woman. Go read Mom-101’s list about that stuff. I bleedeth when prickethed. I also hug when you tell me you read me.)
“I thought you’d be wearing better heels.”
“I’m not going to the so-and-so party. I didn’t get invited. I’ll bet you did.” (Oh, just crash a damn party already if you want.)
Things I’ll likely be saying at BlogHer:
“Yes, you may buy me a drink.”
“These are my hotel keys. Take me back, please, because I can’t find the way.”
July 16, 2009 @ 10:59 am | Filed under BlogHer | Permalink | Comments (35)
Stacy Morrison Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 11:27 am
Oh, sister, I’ve heard almost all those whispers myself. Except the adoptive daughter one, true. And I am happy that I will never be a person who whispers those things. I BLEED OUT LOUD AND FOR THE PUBLIC! Rock on! xxoo
Lori E Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 11:57 am
So you probably don’t agree with the advice for blogher attendees that said “don’t collect and use all the drink tickets that the non-drinkers are not going to use”.
Gosh that would be the best part of hanging out with a large group of women of childbearing age who may be pregnant.
Mocha Momma Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
Awww, Stacy. I hear you, too. And I heart you this much for it.
Lori E. Um. Do I need to make a list of pregnant BlogHers to steal their drink tix. OMG. This is brilliant. (Making notes…)
Angella Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
THIS. This is why I love you.
And because you’re hot.
And because you make me laugh.
And because you give really nice hugs.
Cannot wait to see you, sweetness.
Busy Mom Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
I thought your adoptive daughter would be sponsored by better heels.
Crap. I’ve already screwed up.
Lara Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
I read you. I expect a hug.
Also, I have no idea who would ever tell you they expected to see you in better heels. I’ve never seen anything on your feet that I would deem less than fabulous.
Renee Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
I am really looking forward to meeting you! I can’t believe BlogHer is next week. Can I get in on the list of pregnant attendees? I have no restrictions on the drinks.
Redneck Mommy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
The only thing you’re likely to hear from me is “Damn bitch, I always forget you are taller than me,” and “move closer so I can fondle you.”
Wink.
KBO Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 12:55 pm
“Kelly, they want you to karaoke ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’”.
Laura Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
“I thought you’d be wearing better heels.” HA, Ha, Ha!
Yum, sponsored by your favorite shoe store or brand. I like that idea.
Mocha Momma Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:16 pm
Damnit all to hell and back! WHY did I get a shoe sponsor?
I look forward to hugging, squeezing, licking and other -ings with many of you. Ok, all of you who have commented.
But no karaoke. Not until the 5th shot anyway.
Kerri Anne Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:24 pm
I like this list. Here’s to no whispers, just boisterous laughter.
annettek Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:30 pm
I read every post, and yeah I’m hoping for a hug!
Average Jane Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
I managed to avoid saying any of those things at the pre-BlogHer Meetup, so I think you’re safe here.
Cheron L. Hall Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
Not sure if I’ve reached “BlogHer Conference” status just yet…really wish I had known about this ahead of time…I’m learning though…sucks that its here in Chicago and I can’t go…errr…maybe next year…
Can’t believe people are so catty…drink lots of drinks…
Mighty Hunter Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
Oh well, no hugs for me, then. Maybe next year. Or something.
Mom Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
Hi Hon,
This isn’t really a comment on your blog, although it was, as always, heart-stoppingly wonderful. My *#&%(* phone still isn’t working and I realized that I only had your hotmail (hotmail can suck it!!) email address and I wanted to let you know that all is well, I’m out on bail and making a run for the border because I’m sure they don’t have extradition with Illinois. Thelma, I mean Eileen, and I will probably be home early next week. Or middle next week. Early August at the latest. Maybe November. Staying at my friend’s ranch tonight – 70 miles from anything and quite wonderful. Tell Mallory the flowers she sent were beautiful. I took a picture to show her. Went to the old home place and got so excited taking pictures that I forgot to scatter Mom’s ashes, so I’m still hauling some of her around with me. Maybe she just didn’t want to leave me yet.
Hugs all around,
Mom
Suebob Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:37 pm
What I want to hear? You saying “SUEBOB!” as I scream “MOCHA” (because I always forget you have a real life name too).
Mocha Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 10:20 pm
Suebob, that is a total no-brainer. I couldn’t call you anything other than Suebob if you paid me.
Aaaaand, I’ve just read my mom’s comment and I’m seriously considering using it for a post.
Beautiful Wreck Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 7:25 am
This was great! I will not be there but if I was I would expect a hug!
Redneck Mommy Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 7:27 am
YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR MOM”S COMMENT FOR A POST.
Dear lawd, that woman is brilliant.
Dying laughing and I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet so you know it’s funny.
*Waves to Mamma Mocha*
Mocha Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 7:37 am
You’ve convinced me, Tanis. I’m doing it. She’s so damn funny that she needs to be front page.
And she would LOVE you. I’m going to kidnap you and bring you to live with us here. Bring the kids and the hubster. The more the merrier.
EmmieJ Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:43 am
“Yes, you may buy me a drink.” ????? May need to flip that script when these favorited tweets come back to haunt you. (See exhibits A: https://twitter.com/EmmieJ/status/1814075057 and B: https://twitter.com/mochamomma/status/1814085785) Bwahahahahahah!
And, yes, I read you.
SEE YOU IN CHICAGO!!!!!
sizzle Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
You always have such good shoes so how in the hell would someone make such a remark? Feel free to hire me as your bodyguard as I have been acutely stabby lately.
Looking forward to seeing you next week. Lean down and hug me, will ya?
Mocha Momma Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 4:02 pm
Dangit, EmmieJ! You would bring that up…
Sizzle – I’ll even take OFF my heels to hug YOU.
BOSSY Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 5:08 pm
Don’t worry sister girlfriend, Bossy won’t be whispering anything of the kind, or whispering at all. She’ll be boldly pronouncing her love for you and, if not buying you drinks, raising a perpetual glass in toast to you and your family and your year because you Rock.
Miss Grace Said,
July 18, 2009 @ 10:33 am
I’m not good at whispering. I’ll be yelling. But can we spoon?
angie Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 7:45 am
You seem like a hugger. Have a great time. I would totally hug you if I went. Then I would go cower in the corner, not believing I actually hugged a rock star!
Shash Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 10:34 am
I’m there for hugs, catching up, and to back in the awesome that is Kelly.
The rest is just details.
Love you madly. See you soon!
Shash Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 10:34 am
That should have said bask. Sheesh!
Dana Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
I know I’ve said this a gajillion times already, and I know you’re probably sick of hearing it…. But I’m telling you again. (whisper) I freakin’ heart you.
Can’t wait to see you this week!
lettergirl Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 6:11 pm
This would be me at Blogher: “Umm, Kelly? Are you going to bottle and sell your awesomeness to the masses anytime soon? I totally need some. Also, can I borrow your prom dress if I ever have to go to one?”
Liz Ditz Said,
July 20, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
I’ve never been sponsored to BlogHer, and this is the first one I will miss. I spent my conference/travel money on other things.
Was sort of sorry up until last week, when the buzz just got too much about clothes & social anxiety for me.
What I will miss: meeting in real time women whose blogs I read (like yours), making new friends, feeling inspired and challenged.
Go & have fun.
Organic Meatbag Said,
July 24, 2009 @ 5:37 am
One thing I hope you don’t hear at Blogher is “My balls itch!”…I mean, guys aren’t invited, right? So…nobody should …have…balls… *sigh*
This blog is kick-ass by the way…my first visit here… thanks!
Boston Mamas Said,
July 26, 2009 @ 8:13 am
Oh man, Kelly. INDEED. The good of the conference was meeting cool peeps like you, but the shenanigans certainly did abound!
Great to meet you this weekend and look forward to getting to know you better via BAA! -Christine