Dinnertime Morsels With Jesus

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Instituting a Mandatory Sit-Down Dinner with real utensils and a colorful plate (see: must include a green vegetable) (see also: everyone seems to like broccoli) (see finally: a happy mom) is something to which I aspire but can’t seem to pull off on a regular basis. I should do it more often because the conversations at dinner are slightly better than television comedies.

Is there dessert tonight? I really want something for dessert.

Don’t eat with your mouth full of food.

Jesus would think that eating with a mouthful is gross.

Yeah, what would Jesus do with a mouthful of food?

Jesus wouldn’t be mad about that.

No! Jesus would DO that!

Jesus wouldn’t eat with his mouthful. Can’t you hear his mother right now? “Jesus! Close your mouth!”

I think Jesus would want ice cream. Maybe a McFlurry.

For dessert? Oh, for sure. Jesus was all about the McFlurry.

You know, The Last Supper would have required some dessert. Can you imagine that Passover meal? I mean, seriously. Bland, boring food.

What did they eat at The Last Supper?

Unleavened bread. Bitter herbs. All that stuff with cut up apples and raisins. Right? Yuck. Jesus would need a McFlurry to wash away that grossness.

Didn’t you look closely at that painting of The Last Supper? The big arms outstretched? He was holding ice cream.

Yeah. Jesus was all, “Everybody! LOOK. We are going to get this picture done and THEN we can have ice cream for dessert! Ready? Be still.”

Oh, yeah. We are going to do this more often.

13 Responses to “Dinnertime Morsels With Jesus”

  1. Passover dinners aren’t THAT bad. But, no, no ice cream. Just a lot of wine.

  2. Veep Veep says:

    Pass the vino!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Mocha Momma says:

    Jeremy, I had forgotten about all the wine. Except my kids can’t have wine with every meal. BUT, they can’t drink it with their mouths open!

    Apparently, Veep Veep didn’t forget about the wine. AS DRUNKENLY.

  4. Yep, 3/4th a glass of wine each time, for each glass. Totally get hammered.

    I think wine would do them good – they’d get over this McFlurries fascination.

  5. Daisy says:

    Dinnertime conversation is fun when they’re older. When both my kids (17 & 22) are home, it’s fascinating – and hilarious. Hubs & I don’t have to say. A. Word.

  6. Michelle says:

    This post is a total crack up! Thanks for sharing. Jesus and McFlurries… priceless.

  7. LizP says:

    The apple-raisin stuff is actually apples, nuts, honey, and WINE :-) and it’s really good!

    Passover is the reason for the invention of the macaroon and the meringue cookie (not really), two dessert items that do not require leavening. And both go well with WINE. I make a killer flourless chocolate cake for Passover dessert. Jesus would approve :-) My Catholic husband does.

    Carry on …

  8. emma says:

    Maybe Judas wouldn’t have done his plotting if he’d known there was ice cream for dessert. Ben & Jerry against the Romans. That’s a story I’d like to read.

  9. mommymae says:

    now that shit’s just funny. especially since i’ve seen you all in action.

    and MOST passover food is horrible. well, the kind of food my in-laws make is pretty tasteless. put my husband in charge & it’s a whole new delicious ballgame.

  10. Love this – “Yeah. Jesus was all, “Everybody! LOOK. We are going to get this picture done and THEN we can have ice cream for dessert! Ready? Be still.”

    Hilarious.

  11. Jenn says:

    HAHAHA oh man, this sounds like the kind of conversations my husband and I have, I can only imagine the expansion of that awesomeness into offspring…glad to know we’re not the only ones!

    PS, do/did you watch Gilmore Girls? They go off on tangents like this that just crack me up, that was a beautifully written show! /sigh

  12. Jonez says:

    This conversation REALLY happened at your dinner table?? Tooo funny!
    (lost your blog address then I found it again. Now I’m catching up on all the archives.)


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