NPR called.

I have just always wanted to say something like that. As if they had my personal number and just picked up the phone to chit-chat over some Fair Trade vanilla coffee and a chocolate chip biscotti and tell me that they wanted to interview me.

It doesn’t really happen that way, but you get the gist.

There’s an interview here with Michel Martin (fast-talking, full of wit) on her show “Tell Me More“. Also included are Christine Koh of Boston Mamas, Catherine Sabonis-Bradley of This Matters This Day, and Jamila Bey of The Washington Examiner, discussing the business of blogging and integrity and marketing and product reviews and writing and social media and world peace and how to get your children to eat their vegetables and hair issues. So that was a bit of an exaggeration, but you’ll just have to listen to hear it all.

In other news, I am struggling with my SHORT curly hair. My diffuser just broke (yes, TODAY, when I haven’t used the damn thing in forever and now that I need it? Broken.) and there are about 12 different hair products and for some reason the back of my hair is curling differently than the front and YES, I’M TAKING TIME OUT OF MY NPR-INSPIRED MOMENT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW I CAN’T DO MY OWN DAMN HAIR.

Go have a biscotti and listen to the other rational, knows-how-to-do-their-hair women. I’ll just sit here fussing with my hair.

Instituting a Mandatory Sit-Down Dinner with real utensils and a colorful plate (see: must include a green vegetable) (see also: everyone seems to like broccoli) (see finally: a happy mom) is something to which I aspire but can’t seem to pull off on a regular basis. I should do it more often because the conversations at dinner are slightly better than television comedies.

Is there dessert tonight? I really want something for dessert.

Don’t eat with your mouth full of food.

Jesus would think that eating with a mouthful is gross.

Yeah, what would Jesus do with a mouthful of food?

Jesus wouldn’t be mad about that.

No! Jesus would DO that!

Jesus wouldn’t eat with his mouthful. Can’t you hear his mother right now? “Jesus! Close your mouth!”

I think Jesus would want ice cream. Maybe a McFlurry.

For dessert? Oh, for sure. Jesus was all about the McFlurry.

You know, The Last Supper would have required some dessert. Can you imagine that Passover meal? I mean, seriously. Bland, boring food.

What did they eat at The Last Supper?

Unleavened bread. Bitter herbs. All that stuff with cut up apples and raisins. Right? Yuck. Jesus would need a McFlurry to wash away that grossness.

Didn’t you look closely at that painting of The Last Supper? The big arms outstretched? He was holding ice cream.

Yeah. Jesus was all, “Everybody! LOOK. We are going to get this picture done and THEN we can have ice cream for dessert! Ready? Be still.”

Oh, yeah. We are going to do this more often.

I’m not here today. Don’t mind me. I’m just stopping in to tell you that I’m elsewhere.

First, I’m here at ConnectEd. And it wasn’t just today. But a while ago I was interviewed about education and spoke to the writer of this article. Even though it was published back in June (waayyyy back in June, when the beginning of my summer vacation started) it’s relevant because it’s just about time to start back to school! For the record, Naomi Seck interviewed me sometime last year before Sarah I-Like-The-Death-Panels-In-The-Living-Room Palin hijacked the word “maverick”.

Can you hear my enthusiasm? IT’S SO LOUD IT’S DEAFENING.

The other place you can find me today is over at BlogHer Beauty Hacks. I’m writing about the cutest workout clothes for athletic women and can I just say IT’S ABOUT TIME WORKOUT CLOTHES WERE CUTE. There are so many styles I want to buy right now but I think the kids’ tennis shoes are going to be where I spend mortgage-like money this month. (edited to add**the link is broken until I fix some issues on the BlogHer site. I’ll edit this post again to let you know when it’s live.)

If you’re ok with watching a video of me being interviewed (and the only person who probably isn’t ok with that is the guy who watched me do an Epileptic-Inspired-African-Anteater dance this morning when I walked through a spider web in the middle of the street, THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIGHTLY LIT STREET – that guy probably doesn’t want to ever see me again) by Yahoo and Silicon Valley Moms then you are more than welcome to check that out here.

Finally, if you don’t want to go anywhere or read anything else and are content with staying here (it’s nice and cozy here and I also serve cookies and delicious fruity non-alcoholic drinks so why would you go anywhere else?) then please feel free to do so. You can even put your feet up on the couch. I’m not fussy that way.

See? I’m not here. I’m in the bathroom listening to my iPod and taking pictures of my new haircut with my phone. Isn’t EVERYBODY DOING THAT?

Generally speaking, life is pretty happy for me. A few years ago I remember making the decision to be joyful. Willfully joyful. Basically, I was going to choose joy every single day. Some days are hard but they’re not always impossible and if I try hard enough I can find something to be joyful about. For example, even though I was running late to work this morning I sat at a stoplight next to a car with a little boy in the back who played peek-a-boo with me. He leaned forward and smiled. I leaned back to hide from him and then popped out again only to see him giggle. My mind imagined what that giggle sounded like because our windows were rolled up, but we kept up this game until the light turned green and his mom, who had turned around to see what he was laughing at, smiled at me through the window.

I’m pretty lucky to have started my day like that and it’s just now occurred to me to choose that as a moment of joy.

My graduating class has decided not to have a separate 20 year reunion because there are some organizers putting on an All School Reunion this October. It’s made me really sad to know that we won’t get to do something special just for us and one of my best friends, Tammy, decided to invite me to her 20 year reunion. Since it was local and I knew about 5 other classmates of hers who ended up going to college with us I decided to go. Unfortunately, I was a bit sidelined.

I’ve got this unfortunate knee injury right now. It came on suddenly this past Saturday and I limped around all day. I even had to miss a live recording of gospel music for my friend Jamar who had asked me to take pictures for him. The pain was getting to be a bit too much when I called Tammy to ask if she had an Ace bandage I could borrow.

“Some things are more important, Kelly. Why don’t you go to a prompt care facility?”

“Nah. It’ll be ok. I’ll go to the doctor on Monday. Really.”

She argued with me for a bit and then we decided that I would go to the reunion dinner and if I felt worse she’d take me home. Of course, I didn’t want her to do that and miss her own party, so no matter what I was going to stick it out. Plus, I really wanted to play through on the joke we created about me putting “Bruce” on my nametag and pretending to be some former football player who had a sex change just to see if anyone from her graduating class would be freaked out.

Tammy is totally my partner in crime on pranks and even if no one else thought this was funny we were getting some mileage out of the joke. 

When we sat down to dinner I chatted with the folks at the table and eventually moved around to sit by a woman in a red dress named Rachel. Before sitting, I asked, “Hey, is the leg under this portion of the table? Because my knee is all banged up and I don’t want to have to straddle it.” Rachel instantly asked what was wrong and I sat down and lifted up the bottom part of my dress to show her my knee.

She proceeded to take my leg and put it in her lap. She pushed on either side of my knee and asked me if that hurt. She grabbed my calf muscle and questioned me again: “Does this hurt?” At this point, I leaned back in my seat and peered at her with furrowed brows, “Exactly what is it that you DO?”

“I’m a physican in family practice.”

“OH, THANK GOD. YOU JUST PUT MY LEG ALL UP IN YOUR LAP AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE FEELING ME UP.”

She spent the next half hour talking to me about my recent exercise routines (Jillian Michaels’ “Shred”) and how I started running more lately (Remember to S-T-R-E-T-C-H) and what I could do to help these sore tendons. This isn’t really a story about meeting a doctor at a class reunion that wasn’t mine. It was actually about Rachel (whom I have dubbed “Dr. Sunshine”) and watching her find joy.

Rachel only spent 2 years at this particular high school and the one she transferred from was very close to the one I graduated from and we were bound by this connection. But really? This was also about how hard it was for her to change schools in her junior year of high school and also how she totally blossomed since that time. She was the first one requesting songs from the dj and she danced her ass off that night. It dawned on me that I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she was having SO. MUCH. FUN. Everything about her was filled with joy. Anytime someone came to dance she happily made room on the dance floor and no matter what the song she had every intention of having a blissful time. 

Maybe I can’t always find the joy right away but I’m reminded that I have to make room on the dance floor for other people to help me find it. 

Thanks for the Rx, Dr. Sunshine.

Think of these as snippets from my brain. This is also known as The Lazy Way Out.

Yes, I realize it’s the most wonderful time of the year for some folks. What I’m saying is that some parents are more than a little excited to be sending their cherubs back to school in my care. When I hear this from random strangers: “I’ve had enough of my kids this summer! When do you people go back to work so I can send my kids to you?” I have to restrain myself from throat-punching them and looking for sharp objects by which I can lobotomize them. 

I have barely done any promoting of the laptop that Acer is helping me give away to a lucky reader (and commenter – you have to comment to be entered) and the comments are already overwhelming. But it’s open for an entire month so you have until August 31st to enter. 

I decided that looking at the results of The Shred workout plan on a few of my friends was enough to inspire me to start doing it. One reasons is that it’s free and accessible through my cable tv provider. Another is that it’s a mere 30 minutes per day and even I can afford that much time. So after five dedicated and amazing workouts I failed to keep up with it since I had to spend a week in Chicago for a conference. Instead, I took to taking daily jogs along Lake Shore Drive and failed to stretch enough. Thus, I have tendinitis in my knee and am wearing a brace. Mostly, I’m annoyed with myself for blowing a perfectly good opportunity to start a new workout routine. I should really look into getting an elliptical trainer at home. Either that or I will farm out the work it takes to get great abs and just pay someone to exercise my body for me. That should totally be a thing. 

Not long ago I became a Brand Enthusiast for a company called Brand About Town. What I love most about the company is that it has integrity and style and class and I’m really honored to be on their team. I also love that they allowed me to try a pair of 1969 jeans from The Gap and that they are SO MUCH THE AWESOME THAT I DON’T EVEN NEED A BELT. They’re also long enough that I am not angry at my long legs. Except the leg with the bum knee. I’m not even speaking to that leg right now. (I got the very dark pair of Sexy Boot cut.)

The only television I’m looking forward to this fall are the shows: Glee, 30 Rock, and The Office. I’m a creature of habit who can’t really spend time getting to know new characters. If I say that I love Glee too much then they’ll probably cancel it. If they’ve cancelled it already, don’t tell me. I’m still distraught by missing the rest of My Name is Earl. I will never tire of hearing Joy yell, “Oh, SNAP.”

It’s official. Rum hates my intestines and shall never touch my lips again.

If you need some new music to infuse into your life please try Anuhea. Her real name is Anuheake’alaokalokelani Jenkins. HOW COOL IS THAT? One of my best friends, Tammy, introduced her to me earlier this summer and her album is on sale for $5.99. It’s pointless to try to fit Anuhea into just one genre so I won’t do it. She’s talented and vivacious and her lyrics crack me up so much that I still laugh aloud when I’m singing along with them. Try it. You won’t be disappointed. 

It’s entirely possible to eat too much edamame.