That day I’ll always remember. That was the day I gave birth to my second daughter. The one who would be adopted by another family and find me many years later to reconnect. It hasn’t been like some overwrought, overacted Hallmark movie, either. In fact, it’s been painless and joyful throughout. We are very lucky to have had such a transition and I’m amazed at the ease of how our family grew. As much crap had been handed to me during 2008 I was infinitely grateful for this blessing, this gift, this undeserved grace. My thoughts, naturally, turned to this blog and how much to share. At first, I did so willingly and then it became overwhelming to write through the experience and I pulled way back to give it the attention and respect it deserved. Then, I kept getting e-mails and messages and notes that this was a good thing and that people were happy for us and, yes, some admitted to just being curious about how this was all working itself out in our lives.
So, while I happily share some private pictures and thoughts, I know that I won’t always want to put it all out there. But it’s become something I’m comfortable discussing and now when I meet someone new and they ask how many children I have my mouth and heart gladly say, “Four.” It’s been a painful question to hear up until now and normally it was my mouth saying, “Three” while my heart murmured, “Four”.
Photo of me and the kids when Maddie visited for the first time.
Today is Maddie’s birthday (and yesterday was my sister’s – Happy Birthday, Trayday!) and for the second time ever she will be here with me to celebrate it with my other three children. It’s gonna be pretty damn amazing and there’s no need to wax poetic about how incredible tonight will be.
Photo taken last October when all four of the kids (and the dog) jumped in my bed. A most awesome moment.
Happy 22nd Birthday, Maddie. I promised to give you whatever it was you needed, but you gave me more than I ever expected.
********************************************
The Acer Laptop Winner, not to be outdone by this sorta sappy entirely sentimental post, will be announced on Friday! Check back then!
{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I literally have goosebumps. I am so glad the transition went so well for your family.
You have very lovely children. I’m really happy for you all, K. You deserve this.
How my heart leaps and rejoices for you. Happy birthday to your baby and I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day.
Amazing how children end up giving us more than we give them. I am exstatic that you two found each other and have been able to build a relationship. Love can get you through ANY situation and you have shown us that. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. *HUGS*
Oh, and Happy Birthday Maddie!
What an awesome-looking family! I hope you have the top picture framed and on display somewhere.
Absolutely beautiful.
Happy Birthday Maddie!
I’m so happy for you; it’s amazing the way things work out! Enjoy today.
What a beautiful passel of younguns you have, Miz Mocha! We have a magnet on our fridge that reads, “Never forget birthmothers; birthmothers never forget.” Amen, and again I say amen! Happy birthday to Maddie!
And the tears are welling up in my eyes. As an adoptee, I am overjoyed for you all (and overjoyed doesn’t seem to capture it, but it’s the best word I can find).
Lots of love!!
What a beautiful family! Hope you guys have so much fun!
So, so, so happy for you and your four beautiful children!
I’m so happy for all of you. What a lovely family.
This post makes my heart swell!
i’m loving how your dog gave a serious pose in front of all of you on the bed! can you tell i live alone with 2 dogs?
happy bday maddie & i’m glad all of you are expanding your hearts to one another. amazing outcome!
All. choked. up. Happy Birthday, Maddie.
So very wonderful! Happy Birthday to Maddie!
Your daughter, and you, and your family, are all lovely.
As a former adoption worker/secretary I am so glad that your reunion experience was good and smooth and has turned out well!!
And, not to be selfish … but …
IHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOPIHOPEIWINTHELAPTOP
I wanted to pass on a Your Blog is Fabulous Award to you- I love reading your blog… see here: http://www.chellebox.com/2009/08/other-things-aside.html
What a beautiful beginning for you and your family. Such beautiful people! Have a wonderful day today and take pictures for yourselves!!!!
It’s really wonderful that your daughter now spends time with you, but why is she not spending her birthday with her family? Are they mad she wants to spend time with you? Great photos!
Oh. This was perfect. I am verklempt!
“And [my] heart grew three sizes [today]”
Thank you, Mocha, for sharing bits and pieces of your life with us!
And Happy Birthday Maddie!
PS. That second pic is awesome!
There is a meridian-based therapy called EFT that can help immensely with dispelling the guilt, trauma and shame of the past “life lessons” which served you at one time, but now need to be replaced by more self-honoring and loving behavior. Add it to whatever therapy you currently use, and you will make significant progress. God bless the reconnection with your daughter.
Beauty. So happy for you.
this touches me so…i too placed a child up for adoption, he is 9 now…it’s rough…we have an open adoption…thank you for hope for the future…beautiful family…
My LORD your children are HUGE next to you!
Wait.
Are they standing on a stoop?
Happy Birthday, Maddie! (Late, because I’m always late.)
What a blessing to find your entire family together after so many years. Not only for you and Maddie but for all your children to have their sister in their life now.
Enjoy this happy day!
Oh, two things (and I’m too sick to scroll up to see who I’m responding to) but
1. Maddie is closer in proximity to where I live right now to visit for a three-day weekend.
2. My kids are standing on some steps but the boys ARE huge.
Back to sleep with my cough syrup in tow.
It’s so awesome that you got to see Maddie for her birthday.
Every time you write about this, it brings tears to my eyes. Pure, raw love leaps from out at me, and takes my breath away. You have four beautiful children, inside and out from all I gather here, and they are so very lucky to have you as their role model. Enjoy the visit!
Next time you are wondering about yourself, fretting about the freakin’ frackin’ minutia… come back here and look at these words.
I don’t do religion, but You are blessed in all sorts of ways…
I am late to this post. But I am touched that I get to see pictures and read your words about what are clearly intimate moments. All I can think of to say is what a beautiful family you have. It radiates.