This is a challenge for me because the winds of change are blowing. Hard. It is entirely possible that I called this week a “blow hard” because of it, so I am going to present some good things that have come from it. 

1. My children got to see me at a vulnerable moment that turned into a piece of time where they took care of me. They helped clean the house and then took me to a movie and many hugs have been given. 

2. One morning before work I took out a package of hamburger meat and an arm roast. I wasn’t sure which one I would feel like cooking for dinner that evening. I made them both. Normally, I’m too tired to cook one meal let alone two. We’re having the roast today. My Awesome Chef Meter is off the charts because of this.

3. Most of my socks are accounted for and I haven’t had to buy new ones in quite a while. This means my dryer will probably eat them all on Laundry Day.

4. My resolve to write a book is closing in on me. I know I say this a lot, but this time I mean it!

5. Music. Music is always a good thing that happens to me. Right now I’m listening to a double CD set of Xavier Cugat that I bought at a re-sale shop for $3. Mason says it sounds like music from the Tom & Jerry cartoons. 

6. The kids and I all had an impromptu “Bohemian Rhapsody” moment in the car and we all sang it at the top of our lungs. It was a magical moment and my smile lasted for hours from that.

7. The Small Purse Drive! It’s a huge success! I love humanity right now!

8. I took out my camera again and started taking pictures because I missed photography so much. I’m anxious to capture some of these amazing fall colors and learn some new things about my camera all at the same time.

9. Resolve. I will proceed to negotiate life the way I want. Damn, that feels good. Last year I heard “This too shall pass” from friends so often that I began to hate that phrase. When this too shall pass is in the past one can only feel marvelous. 

10. I now know what I’d do for a Klondike bar. Everyone should know that about themselves.

I must admit: this is one of those times when I am in awe of what I have been able to do with a blog. At first, I read blogs in the hopes that I could learn something about the author and read with interest about their own anecdotes and stories. It took no time at all for me to exclaim, “Hey! I could do that!” and then this nagging voice in the back of my head would tell me that I hated writing and that I even hated teaching writing so why would I start an online journal of things that happen in my life? 

That stupid, nagging voice has been shut up for about 5 years now.

I must also admit: I had no idea that people from Springfield were actually reading me unless they were my friends who pitied me and felt compelled to write a comment now and then. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, BECKY. (I’m kidding. Becky doesn’t pity me.) (At least I hope she doesn’t.) (Because I love her to pieces. That’s why I hope she doesn’t. She’s ten shades of awesome yellow sunshine in my life.) (You know what happens when you mention just one of your friends? You have to mention them all.) (I’m going to get this over with, ok? Janie, Tammy, Kay, Lisa… hmm. Guess I don’t have that many friends.) So when I began reading comments recently I was surprised that so many people who live in my town are now reading my blog. I’d like to apologize if I’ve ever cut you off in traffic, ran to the checkout counter before you just to get served first, or if you sit behind me in a movie theatre because I’m so tall and annoying to have to see around. I also pop my gum and irritate most people within a 5 foot radius.

Other than that, I’m a pretty good neighbor. 

I’d like to think I’m a pretty good mom, too, because Mallory has sent out a request to her friends to help her mother’s Purse Drive out. Talk about being verklempt! I read her email and nearly fell over. Sometimes, we don’t even know how much we’re affecting our own children with our projects and activities. She came home from work last week (she’s a designer at an office space firm) and showed me this:

It occurred to me that she was designing purses and wanting to use scraps of leftover materials. She also wrote on the bottom “Home ec. class?” which makes me think she had a great idea for students to sew them (which is just an idea – I swear I’m not trying to make more work for the home economics teachers). This project is taking on a life of its own and I have friends in New York and Chicago and Houston who are collecting more purses for my school to donate. Hopefully, our boutique (the girls and I decided that “store” sounded less fun than “boutique”) will be open in two weeks.

Mostly, it inspired me to keep on thinking about this and dreaming big for my students. 

I admit: that’s a fantastic feeling.

If you want me to wax poetic about the kindness of strangers I will, but then there will be tears all over my keyboard and I won’t be able to see. But if you ask me how much I love the kindness of strangers I will do a happy dance that involves lots of twirling, smile my biggest, cheesiest smile, and then probably end up weeping all over my keyboard anyway. So, either way, I’m encouraged to cry because the response from friends and readers is amazing. 

Here are the short details I have so far:

This weekend I’m working on setting up a Pay Pal account for those who can simply make a donation to the Small Purse cause. 

Some wonderful, creative blog friends are helping with a button/widget/badge so people can post them on their own blogs.

The dimensions of the purse should fit a regular sized piece of paper. Nothing bigger than 8.5 x 11 will be allowed. 

My mom is letting me use her post office box (thanks, Mom!). If you’re ready to send anything please do so at:

Kelly Wickham (don’t use Mocha Momma for the title – I hear the Postal Service doesn’t have a sense of humor)

P.O. Box 9465

Springfield, IL 62791

One of the most inspirational ideas I heard in yesterday’s comments was adding a note with encouraging words in each purse. Obviously, that’s not a requirement. But boy, would karma be kind to you if you did that!

There’s a church in my neighborhood that I pass nearly every day when I walk my dog. It’s a pretty church with long, thick white columns. The congregants seem nice enough, too, as they don’t speed out of the parking lot in my quiet neighborhood on Sundays or when the Boy Scouts are having their meetings. All in all, I like this church. This building. There is a sign out front that poses a question to all passersby:

This sign has bothered me ever since I’ve read it. But this isn’t a post about the passive-aggressive message contained within. In fact, I could very well answer the question with the fact that I’ve used my powers for good once before and was overwhelmed with the compassion of friends and regular readers of this blog. (For those who don’t know the story, I offered to donate a dollar for each comment I got on a post about three students who wouldn’t have had a Christmas and readers responded with generous hearts and selfless motives until we reached over $1,000 for which to buy gifts for them. The story still chokes me up when I think about it and it’s all I can do not to blame it on hormones.)

Are you ready for a strange segue? Here goes…

SO! My school has been in the news a lot lately and it’s nothing short of fifty shades of SUCK. It’s no secret that the media beat us up and I already work at the district step-child high school. It’s also no secret (to readers of Mocha Momma) that I adore my co-workers and students and go into work every day to the hardest, most unappreciated job in the world. Some days call for me to take the hit that I don’t deserve. Other days I am challenged by those I work with one second only to be in a position to defend them passionately in the next. Right now I refuse to even link to those stories and I never read the online comments to newspaper stories because then I feel the need to apologize on behalf of all educators who have left those people behind. WE’RE SORRY YOU DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “YOUR” AND “YOU’RE” OR “PRINCIPAL” AND “PRINCIPLE.”

That’s about as much as I can say about work-related stuff without getting into trouble. I have a deficiency in the area of shutting-the-heck-up-when-I-should. There’s not a pill or anything that works to make that better. 

As I walk into work each day the poverty of my schools’ students is never lost on me. Yet, I watch some of these students who come from more than difficult home lives continually come to school where they want to learn. Even more impressive is that they come to school and help with blood drives, canned food collections, and other community service events even when they themselves are in need. It is not lost on me that they are themselves inspiring to the adults who gladly work with them. In a million years I didn’t expect to have a career that I loved this much. The things I get to witness and the growing I get to watch astounds me.

Recently, because of a response to the media trashing us, we are hitting hard on some things in our school. Students have never been allowed to carry backpacks, but the issue that keeps coming up are the girls’ purses. Hey, I’m as fashion forward as the next gal so I know that big purses are here to stay. When my male students complain that girls get to even carry purses I remind them, gently, that as soon as they have to carry around tampons and Midol this won’t be an issue. 

Some of the biggest complainers have come to see me in my office or caught me in the hallway or a classroom:

Why can’t we carry big purses? I saved up $50 to buy this and it’s the only one I have! I can’t buy another one.

This is stupid! I’m a good girl. Why are we always getting punished?

Who even SELLS small purses? Everything in the stores is big. 

These girls are right. They’re also pretty whiny when they come talk to me so I decided to take something ugly and turn it in to something pretty. I asked seven girls to help me coordinate a Purse Drive for school and I’m using my blog to spread the word. 

Do you have an old, small purse you’d be willing to donate?

Can you purchase a small purse that we can use for our Purse Drive?

My intention is to take all donations and sell them for the set price of $5 for any girl who wants to come to the Purse Shop I’m setting up in school and then give the money to the school. My seven girls will help me set it up, arrange the purses for display, collect the money, and do a really good thing. A small thing, but a good thing nonetheless.

Here’s what I was wondering: can you help? More details on where to send purses coming soon. Maybe a widget! A button for your blog! But most importantly, you get that really good feeling of doing some good in the world and showing compassion to a bunch of teenage girls you don’t even know.

UPDATE on November 8, 2009: Yes, the purse drive is still going strong. Perhaps I should have mentioned that there are nearly 700 girls in my school and we’d love to see this as a sustainable project. So, if you’ve been meaning to send purses and haven’t done it yet, please consider doing so. We are grateful for any and all donations.