This will be the first year in the history of my being a parent that I won’t be with my children on Thanksgiving day so we have decided to our meal today. It was the basic turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie (blech. I don’t eat it, but the children do – I just eat the whipped cream out of the can when no one is looking) and cheesecake. I made everybody clear their schedule so we could spend the day pretending like it was really Thursday. I watched a full 10 minutes of a college football game on tv this morning (don’t ask which one, I just wanted it to feel like Thanksgiving) and then later we sat down to view “Miracle on 34th Street” because we didn’t have the real Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade to get us through. Divorce is hard on kids and families and this was the best I could do to make my family enjoy a meal. Creating a family moment that feels right is more work than one would anticipate, but if it’s crafted just so then you can convince yourself it’s Thursday and not really Saturday.
Even though we kept calling it Fake Turkey Day we all pretty much realized that it was important to make the effort for this day. It felt weird at first and any time we needed to go out for something we surprised ourselves with, “Wow, there are SO many stores open today on Thanksgi…OH YEAH THAT’S RIGHT IT’S SATURDAY.” It even ended like our Thanksgiving meals normally do – arguing about who will do dishes and who will put the food in the leftover containers and with everyone sitting around the television afterward with their hands in the waistband of their pants.
Actually, we pretty much do that every Saturday night. We’re doing this family thing the best we can and it’s damn near perfect.
November 21, 2009 @ 5:42 pm | Filed under Can You Tell I've Been To My Therapist?, Freaky Family, Lessons I'm Learning, NaBloPoMo | Permalink | Comments (13)
Jen Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 5:49 pm
Here is Canada, Thanksgiving Day has come and gone for us, but very seldom does our family get to eat together on Turkey Day. I feel for you – but it sounds like you made out very well. Just remember it’s not about the specific Day but the time shared together.
Daisy Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 7:03 pm
Hugs to you all! If it ended like a typical Thanksgiving, it was probably just right.
Jeannette Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 9:26 pm
Just because today isn’t the last Thursday of the month, that doesn’t make it less Thanksgiving-y.
martha-california Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
Happy early-Thanksgiving Day!
Whittydeb Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 10:11 pm
Your right about divorce wreaking havoc on holiday celebrations and family get togethers. My brother and his wife divorced and my already limited time with my two beloved nieces has been cut in half with the whole splitting custody thing. Factor in the ex-sister-in-law choosing to just take the girls at her own whim and it gets pretty damn frustrating. What I’ve learned is that it will be a rarity for me to actually be able to celebrate holidays or special days on the actual day and so I will just plan to celebrate them when I am actually with them. Yes, it’s not what I would prefer, but in the end it’s less about the actual date and more about the time invested with the ones you love the most! So Happy Thanksgiving to you and your kids!
Kara Said,
November 21, 2009 @ 10:24 pm
This was quite interesting. My parents divorced about 12 years ago and I don’t think we ever thought about trying to do two Thanksgivings. My mom’s birthday is Christmas, so she always get’s Christmas and dad gets Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving… I know I’ve told people that and they think it’s not fair b/c she only gets one, but we lived 100% of the time with her, so we (everyone, including mom and dad) always felt it was fair… and we’ve never thought of having multiple holidays… I wonder why…
Mommela Said,
November 22, 2009 @ 11:14 am
We’ve had Thanksgiving on the Friday after for years. Not because of divorce or anything, but because when I was working outside of the home, it gave me a chance to do a lot of prep work on Thursday, we didn’t have to work around football schedules (living in Detroit and being from Wisconsin, the annual Lions/Packers game was always in mind), and we could include more of the extended family. After I stopped working outside of the home, we continued the tradition of Thanksgiving Friday just because we like it better–and some years, we just ordered a half-dozen pizzas and some salads. Truthfully, those were the ones that stick out in everyone’s minds as being particularly great!
angie Said,
November 22, 2009 @ 11:47 am
Tragicomedy at its best. Belated happy faux Thanksgiving, and early happy Thanksgiving. May it be half as good as the fake one.
Mrs RW Said,
November 22, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
Personally, I wonder: why is it that we all wait for “holidays” to get together for dinner with family members? There are what – 362 or so other days we could have family get-together meals? Add in the stress of the hostess/host working like a mania, doling out who-brings-what, and I’m hard pressed to remember a Thanksgiving or Christmas Day family get together I really enjoyed.
Love the six pizzas and salad idea for a non-holiday gathering. What? We could actually focus on each other and TALK???
I love seeing my family (especially the littler ones) but the holidays just seem to bring out the crabbiness and fatigue rather than the love and sharing.
Oh, well. I know I’m in the minority here.
Mrs RW Said,
November 22, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
maniac – sorry
Meg Evans Said,
November 22, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
Happy Faux Thanksgiving, Kelly! Our holiday will be a little different this year–one of my sisters-in-law has to, uh, sorry, wants to spend the holiday with her in-laws…you’re welcome to join us!
Kate Said,
November 23, 2009 @ 4:01 pm
Thanks is for giving daily.
And, unfortunately, the italicized quote about stores being open on Thanksgiving is probably more true than we realize…there’s just no resting in this world.
Blessings to you!
HipM0M77 Said,
November 25, 2009 @ 12:31 am
I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with my mom and son tomorrow. My dad is back home where my sister and her family are. My boyfriend is visiting his sister back East and who knows about Christmas…
One thing I do know is that family time is priceless, no matter what date the calendar shows.
Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Wednesday. Happy Day to you.
*hugs*