Philosophy in Overalls
Part II : Kurt Vonnegut’s “Kerass”
Over the next several months Allen would try to catch me in my classroom and I stayed later and later to meet with him. We sat at my desk and exchanged poems, stories, and a great friendship. I got around to asking how he went from an English teacher to a janitor and he responded, “I haven’t quit teaching, I just quit being paid money for it.” 

Each morning I would make a mad dash to my desk to see what erudite things he left and I would leave him notes as well. He almost always did this on a 3×5 card which I would put in my pocket and re-read during the day. Always clever, he pushed me to be succinct by responding on the back of the card. We eventually had so much to say that we took to writing on notebook paper from the classroom supply.

Ultimately, we had to hide them in my desk because the head janitor found out about our notes and took Allen aside to ask if he and I were having an affair. We loved that there was such concern for our friendship and laughed at the assumption. He knew the other guys were talking about him behind his back. He also said, “I’m sorry to say this, but it doesn’t look so good for you, Kelly. I mean, I am 60. Twice your age. But it makes ME look like a stud!” 

Once, I commented on the ease of our relationship and he told me that he’d already met me. I was getting ready for a reincarnation discussion with my eye roll and snorted laugh, but he looked at me and said, “It’s true. I’ve already met you. I just can’t place you yet. Someone in this life from my past that I’ve lost touch with.”  Conversation ended there and it was months later that this letter was on my desk:

Kelly,

One day in my Super (read: favorite) class Melodi C. started the curriculum that day by opening the wasted 15 min. part of the split lunch 4th period by asking me “Have you ever met someone new who at once you felt like you always knew?”

And I answered, “Well there are only really 19 people anyway.” Fast forward to Kurt Vonnegut’s writing which contained the word “Kerass.” Stop: to realize I don’t know any longer how much I stole from Vonnegut and how much I twisted/added: Kerass a small group of people/personalities [souls] that one spends his life (lives) with.

More personally. In 1975 in Oregon I realized that wherever I had lived there were a small group of personalities, the same ones wearing different people on the outside. In each place, each personality could manifest itself in different ways (sometimes the same ways) and sometimes the “stock characters” in my “play” would switch from major to minor parts. And I certainly didn’t recognize all or even most usually. But I saw some, enough along with the accompanying feeling of knowing: “they are always there.” 

Kerass: When I knew you in Seattle/Bellevue/Washington you were a junior named Pam Berg who sat right up front. Jon was also in that class. He sat one row over and one seat from the back. He drove me crazy by making comic asides (and I couldn’t hear them) and so it gave me the excuse to move him across from Pam (who was going with a real shallow ass) where I could hear his wit and so could Pam. It worked. Pam dropped “Shallow” and dated Jon for awhile and I got to hear his wit which contained such wisdom. 

Anyway, I didn’t “recognize” you until several months after meeting you. I just knew we spoke/wrote real (as we could) to each other. Wow. Boy Howdy. Whatcha think about all this stuff : Kerass?

Allen

Since I’m unofficially “cheating” I’ll add more than one Allen story:

Philosophy in Overalls
Part III : Getting to Know One of the “Kerass”

Meeting after school in the evenings quickly became a favorite time for me and there were times when I would go home after school to care for my children and make dinner and then come back to my classroom where I would find Allen engrossed in a book (vaccuuming could wait) he borrowed from my shelf. There are many adolescent novels that I believe adults should read and I recommend them to my adult friends. I asked Allen to read The Giver, Maniac Magee, and The Watsons Go to Birmingham because I love them dearly and get very excited while teaching them. He, in turn, asked me to read things that I avoided as an English Literature major while in undergrad. He shed new light on To Kill a Mockingbird, “Fern Hill” by Dylan Thomas and even introduced several short stories by J.D. Salinger that I didn’t even know existed. We both dearly loved Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain quotes. There was a Twain quote on my board daily while I taught The Adventures of Tom Sawyer to my 7th graders.

When I think about the term “kerass” that Allen introduced to me, I often think of the number 19. He had fun telling me about the other 18 people he’d met over and over in his lifetime. I sat at his feet when he wept about a few of them who didn’t bother getting to know him even though he knew a lesson was to be learned from experiencing them. He would bring his thermos of coffee to share and tell me that he felt like a tutor in Roman times who was commissioned to educate a youth. The age difference was inconsequential, but Allen’s being twice my age amused him (especially since we were having a torrid “affair” – he told me that he mumbled “idiot” everytime he walked past the head janitor who accused us of this) and he, on several occasions, called me ‘precocious’ for developing the ability to be interested in an old man’s stories. 

My husband would tease me when he found the notes from Allen and say, “Oh? Another note from your boyfriend, huh?” but, in all seriousness, he encouraged my friendship with him because he knew I was growing. This was also a time in my life when I was teaching and becoming restless with it. This was my third school and a small Christian one. I kept seeing new opportunities in schools and kept taking them even though I took a $7,000 pay cut to work there. Still, he allowed it and for that I’m grateful to be married to one of the 19 people I’m to experience in this world. One who allows me to get to know myself better. Not at all unlike the survey I use at the beginning of the school year to get to know my students better. 

Here is Allen’s survey that he filled out:

Student Information Sheet

Name: Allen N.

Past reading experience (are you a fast reader, do you like to re-read books, etc…)

Most times the words propel my speedometer according to their meaning, but sometimes I slow to consider, stopping to savor now and then. I often reread the books, stories, poems I love.*

What type of books do you like to read for enjoyment?

History. Biography. Other non-fiction – since 1975 almost exclusively * from 1961-75 mostly literature. 1948 Horatio Alger Jr. Books. 
*exception Kurt Vonnegut – the closest thing to Twain we have.

What are some books you have read this summer (or recently)?

An Hour Before Daylight - Jimmy Carter
Maniac Magee

Do you have a favorite book?

Many. One is * Nine Stories by J.D. Salinger 
especially *“The Laughing Man” and *“For Esme with Love and Squalor” 
*please ask Mallory to read

Tell me about yourself. Include sports, artistic interests, hobbies, music tastes, siblings and parents, personality types (Are you funny? Serious?), anything you would like to share.

In 1949 Springfield got new stop/pedestrian lights downtown. My father and I, on the way to the Orpheum Theatre, encoutered only green circles and little lighted “walk” words until we hit the intersection at 5th and Washington. We were on the SW corner heading North on 5th and a red circle and a little lighted “wait” and a cop on the corner (NW) where we were headed. My father looked west. It was clear for three blocks. With no hesitation he stepped off the curb already in third gear overdrive (his usual pace). As we stepped off the curb the cop said, “The sign said ‘wait’.” With no hesitation, my father said, “It didn’t say how long to wait.” We walked on to the movie.

Do you have a favorite memory verse from the Bible? If yes, which one?
Jesus wept.

How would you characterize yourself as a student?
Terrible mostly. I’m lazy and rarely study. But I read a lot and think (often in flashes). And I’m eagerly easily motivated by a teacher who reads what I write — And writes copious comments back.

at the top he had written in red ink: Thanks for the loan of Maniac. I’m now reading The Color Purple from your shelf.

to be continued

In re-reading this I realize how much my writing has changed and see a number of things I’d change if I were to edit these stories. First of all, I was learning HTML and playing with the colors back then and that’s why it’s like a rainbow exploded onto the page. I even learned how to change fonts and got a little out of control there. Secondly, it’s so bare bones that I laugh all all that’s missing. But I was just practicing writing after years of only doing it for school or teaching and honestly, I should have known better even then. There are lots of facts left out and many details that I failed to fill in this skeleton with, but I won’t edit here on my blog. I’ll save that for the book. 

Someday.