If I have to look at Oscar Wilde’s face one more time with his taunting, strong jaw and piercing eyes that say, “Write, damnit! Write!” then I may as well just throw my Kindle against the wall. It’s been collecting dust ever since I finished reading Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen on it because I thought I’d never read anything else on it. I’m super lazy in ordering books online and when I go to Barnes & Noble I inadvertently end up sitting in the café section reading something until I’m finished with it. It’s my own personal library because I don’t have one. In the fifteen years that I’ve lived in Springfield I have never had a library card except when we lived in what we affectionately called “Ghetto West”. The other houses I’ve lived in required me to live within the city limits, but I keep ending up in Unincorporated Springfield and it’s like a black mark on my track record of reading. My own scarlet letter that tells everyone, “I’m a rebel! I live in unincorporated areas! I don’t own a library card!”
Anyway, Oscar is sitting on the home page of my Kindle just staring at me. “Buy another book already, would you?” he pleads earnestly. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d like for me to spend my hard earned dollars on something that I won’t even have time to read!” When John Milton looks at me I just stick out my tongue. Lewis Carroll just makes me giggle. But there’s something about Emily Dickinson. When she looks at me from the Kindle screen I find myself apologizing to her. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to write here and it’s just not flowing yet. The ideas are plentiful, but the writing is jumbled and awkward.” I can write for myself, but the thought of putting things down on paper because a literary agent told me to or because my publisher says that I need more words is a daunting task. Just sitting behind my blog and bitching about the mundane doings in everyday life? Piece of cake, baby.
All that was to say that I’m trying to write a book here. It’s day 4 of the new year and for the first time ever I’m committing to this in such a passionate way that I’m scaring myself. This is terrifying and incredibly freeing to just put down as many words as I can. How this will change the way I blog I don’t know yet. Will I end up apologizing to you, my readers, the same way I do to Miss Dickinson? Who knows?
For now, though, I’m searching for things that I didn’t ever let myself search for in the past. I’m trying to locate literary agents and publishers who have put out books like the one I’m trying to write and needing far more eye cream at night these last four days because when the urge to write strikes me I’m just going to grab it by the horns (or balls? is it balls?) and run with it. (Oooohh. No. Not balls then. Ouch.) Even if that means I’m awake at 3 a.m. because a thought has to get down on paper.
If you have any advice, I’m taking it. If you know anybody who could help a poor, starving mum with her child in a baby carriage sitting at a cafe and trying to write on scraps of paper…hold on. That was J.K. Rowling. I’m delusional now.
Hold me?
No. Just cheer me on, please. If ever I needed a cheering section, it’s now. I’m paralyzed with fear and doubt.
January 4, 2010 @ 7:30 pm | Filed under All the cool kids are doing it, Does This Confession Make My Ass Look Fat?, Help A Brutha Out, I Have Questions and I Need Answers | Permalink | Comments (26)
Jill Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 7:35 pm
I do not know what your book will be about, but I know that I will buy it when it’s finished. Then probably buy one for all my friends.
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 8:19 pm
Rah, rah, sis boom bah! Gooooooo Kelly! *shakes pom poms*
LaughingMouse Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
A friend of mine started a writing blog called Words On Paper. Title inspired by her time mentoring incarcerated youths and getting them to write. At one point she said all I want is “words on paper*.” So, go for it!! Write! Write anything and everything. I’m reading Stephen King’s book On Writing and he says your First Draft is for you! So, Draft Away!!!!!
(*Full Explanation of my friend’s mentoring time and blog title here: http://writingwordsonpaper.blogspot.com/2009/08/words-on-paper.html )
mayberry Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 8:54 pm
Go Kelly go go go! You know you have some (millions) of adoring fans out here!
Toni Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 8:56 pm
I’m so glad I stumbled across your blog last month…I am finishing up my administrator credentials and hope to be an associate principal next year…hope…But I also long to be a writer. I have ALWAYS wanted to write a book…and I’ve also told myself: “This.is.the.year.” No more ridiculous excuses! You have a kindred soul out here…
Katy Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 8:59 pm
Can I say “Go, Kelly!” You moved me to tears back in the MSN days, so I’m sure you can do it now. Just find your Kelly voice and go for it. Also, I find a good stiff drink can get the words flowing. But you were an English teacher so I’m sure you know that.
Angella Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 9:52 pm
Cheering you on, babe. Per usual. You will rock anything that you do. Per usual.
Karen Sugarpants Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 9:54 pm
Okay 1) stop talking to your Kindle – it’s weird. Hee! 2) when the mood hits – write. It works when it works and cannot be forced/ This I know. 3) you don’t know you can do it until you do it. 4) I believe in you. and I know you well enough to know that you’re smart enough to believe in you too. xoxo
jenn Said,
January 4, 2010 @ 10:31 pm
woohoo!! write, babe, write!!
Okay, seriously: write. Just write. Heck, write down your conversations with your Kindle. Something good will get out along the way. It always does*.
(*note: the only bad part to this awesome puking-on-paper theory is that editing is required. Sometimes, a lot. Editing sucks. Sorry about that.)
Beth Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 6:00 am
You’d better rock it out. Because when you get this book published (not if, but *when*), I will buy it and make all of my friends buy it. And then we’ll come to book signings and make other people buy it, even if it’s against their will because your book will be THAT GOOD.
I’ve always wanted to write a book. I have so many ideas tumbling around in my brain. Someday. Maybe someday soon.
Good luck from your cheering section up here in snowy Central New York!
Meg Evans Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 6:36 am
ohhhh—book signings!???! Yes!! I’m so there!
I know you can do it–we all know you can do it! Please don’t make me pull out my old high school cheerleading uniform…I wear it every Halloween while I’m giving out candy, and the kids are looking more scared with each passing year. I”m cheering you on –but I’m gonna leave on the comfy PJ pants, if that’s okay with you.
Like everyone has said, just put pencil/pen/whatever to paper and let the ideas flow. The rest is just organization. You’ve told us you work best in mess–make a mess on paper and get the words flowing!
And I can take care of that Kindle for you…if you need that to happen…just sayin’.
furiousBall Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 6:59 am
eye of the tiger, champ. eye of the freakin’ tiger (sorry had to Jersey it up a bit there)
Mommela Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 7:32 am
You can do it. You can do it because you’re smart, creative, a hard worker, and one heck of a writer. You can do it because you’ve chosen to do it and you do what you say you will. You must do it for the legions of fans you have and for those who have yet to discover the joy of reading your words. And who is going to play you in the movie?
KBO Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 8:04 am
In our quest for global domination, we should write a book together on education. I’ve already got one in the works about alternative schools. THINK ABOUT IT.
Ami Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 9:18 am
I’m here, cheering you on! And you’re an inspiration to me in my own writing. Thanks for sharing your struggle and your accomplishments. You’re a great example!
Rita Arens Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 9:21 am
I got the rough draft of my novel out in 2009, but I have to REVISE it in 2010. It’s one of my writing goals. I think the revision process will be harder than the writing process.
My advice? Schedule time with yourself. Write the book before worrying about the agents and publishers. You might totally change your mind about what the book is about halfway through. It happens.
Don’t set a time timeline, set a word count timeline. When you sit down to write, tell yourself you will write a minimum of 500 words. Stop when you start to feel crabby about it. Each time you write, cross out the old word count and write the new word count to reassure yourself you are making progress.
Write at least once a week, but don’t kill yourself to do it every day.
Resolve to get the plot out before you forget it. Unless you are Tom Robbins, writing perfect sentences while you’re still thinking up your plot is nearly impossible.
I think that’s all I’ve got for today, but I’ve got your back, sistah!
Amy in StL Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 12:17 pm
If what you write for your book is even half as good as things you’ve written on here; it’ll be a huge hit. You’re funny and smart and successful; so you can totally rock the writing. Also, you look great in photos so you should start practicing your look for the book jacket. You know, while you procrastinate actual writing.
Ace Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 2:25 pm
You know you will be great at this, right? I realize you are not one to chime in saying yes at this instant, so let me say it for you: YES!
You always keep us coming back for laughs, crys and a good ole “no she didn’t.” So, I think the book venture will be great…and yes, I’ll buy copy.
I was on Amazon the other day and read the “look inside this book” excerpt for On Writing Well by William Zinnser. Looks to be a good book…
http://www.amazon.com/Writing-Well-30th-Anniversary-Nonfiction/dp/0060891548/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262726407&sr=8-1#reader_0060891548
Go for it! We’re all behind you.
Dawn Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 3:26 pm
Write, write, write. Write first find agent later. Write. Write. Write. The rest will come when your brilliant masterpiece is done.
I can’t wait to read it.
katie Said,
January 5, 2010 @ 7:27 pm
oh boy i have just scoffed a ridiculous amount of sushi that we made and then i had a nana nap and then i had some MORE so my tummy hurts!! and just read your facebook SHOCK and so – hey – sending you some rocking sushi vibes. cos i have spares X
emma Said,
January 6, 2010 @ 10:24 am
I’m cheering, I’m cheering… with pom poms and a marching band. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and BREATHE. I have so much faith in you – take as much as you need.
Yvonne Said,
January 6, 2010 @ 7:01 pm
Awww babe, don’t doubt the genius you have hiding behind that rocking smile! YOU WILL NAIL THIS! Not a doubt in the world.
I would also like to offer my proofreading services if you need them. I work for free but only for you
LOL @ Meg Evans who was quicker than I to offer Kindle-sitting services. I CANNOT even buy a Kindle or any of it’s counterparts here in Oz. Sometime this year Sony apparently intend on releasing them here. BUT THE WAITING IS SOOOOOO HARD.
Hurry up and send me something to read (no pressure intended)
I will buy lots of copies if you promise to do smoochy lipstick kisses on the pages for me.
I will refrain from dragging out the pom poms. Sooooo not a good look right now
MommyTime Said,
January 6, 2010 @ 7:57 pm
You CAN do it. The key is to commit to an amount of time that you’ll write — say 30 minutes per day, and then just write for that whole time without trying to make any of it perfect. At some point, you will get all the words out of your head and onto the paper, and then you can print it all out, and take a look at what you’ve got, and start trying to organize and polish and rearrange, and all the stuff it takes. But just start small. 30 minutes a day. Once the writing becomes a habit, the words will find their way. Good luck!
Kate Said,
January 7, 2010 @ 2:44 pm
Kelly,
Sign me up and sign my copy of the book! I have a friend in Joplin who has published two books, one for children, one for women – titled GOAL SISTERS (non-fiction). I will point her to your blog. She’s all about helping women and may be able to connect with you.
Mocha Said,
January 7, 2010 @ 6:32 pm
I’m overwhelmed by your encouragement and for pointing me in the right direction. I know I say it all the time, but I really do have the best community members right here on this blog.
Thanks a MILLION. You people are gold.
Laurie Said,
January 14, 2010 @ 8:22 pm
If you don’t get a deal? That would be the shocker.
And I’m being completely serious when I say I am really surprised no one has approached you already. You are magazine columns and books just waiting to happen.
Seriously.