Typical Day. Typical American High School.

by Mocha Momma on March 5, 2010

It was a whirlwind day and yet it was entirely typical of what happens at our high school. In most high schools, probably. I just thought it was worthwhile to put this day down as an official mark that this is what regularly happens.

First thing in the morning my secretary called me on the radio to tell me that I had a visitor. This could be anybody. Former students, current students, teachers in other buildings who are visiting and wanted to drop by to say hello. It was Janelle. Janelle graduated early this year so I never get to see her (or her growing belly) (which has completely shrunk, that little stinker). She brought her month old daughter and wanted to show me that she had all ten fingers and all ten toes. Of course, I said, “You know I’m going to hold her, right? And smell her? And kiss her? And then I’ll steal her.” She laughed and looked at me sideways. I’m always joking with her. She never takes me seriously but man, did I want to put that sweet baby in my purse and take her home.

While Janelle was there, Dakota walked in. He’s been gone from high school for almost two years now and when he left he was carrying around an extra 60 pounds, but he went into a military program, shaped up, got a job, and also has a new baby. When he left us he was a mess. He’s getting it all together now. He knows I’m proud of him so he keeps coming back for reinforcement. I’ll give it freely.

As I’m walking out of the office after visiting with them both I see Annie. She’s been my office assistant in the past and I never get to see her anymore. “What are you doing in here?” I ask. She tells me that she got kicked out of class for no reason. It’s always NO REASON to hear the students tell it. “There’s more to that story,” I say. “No, there’s not. She kicked me out for saying ‘crap’ so here I am.” This doesn’t sound like it’s going to end well and I can see that I will probably work for at least 20 minutes to get the full story out of her. “Come on, Annie. Just saying ‘crap’ doesn’t get you kicked out of class.”

I put my hands on my hips, look at my watch to indicate that I don’t have time for all this, and she caves.

“All I said was that this class was crap and she told me not to say that word and I’m like, what! It’s not a bad word! And she’s all, oh yeah it is, and I’m like fine, then crap crap crap crap crap.”

I turned on my heel and walked out of the office, sighing loudly to voice my displeasure at her silliness.

In the hallway, Drew stops me to ask if we can have a Jedi Day at school. “What for? What’s the purpose?” Drew tells me there’s no reason. He just likes Jedis. Drew is the best kind of student. He’s funny and always joking. I can’t imagine where he’s going with this. He says he wants to use Jedi moves on the teachers, too. “This is not the grade you’ll give me,” he joked. “See how awesome this could be? LET’S DO IT.”

I turn on my heels again and keep walking down the hallway, but I’m chuckling at him.

By lunchtime, I’ve written four letters of recommendations, visited six classrooms, dropped off an evaluation to a teacher, and loaned money to a student. I’ve also been roped into buying raffle tickets for some sporting events and one chicken dinner. This is why I’m always broke. While I’m in the lunchroom, I see a girl that I’d noticed earlier in the day and I wanted to tell her how much I liked her outfit. She has on green earrings. As I’m wandering around the cafeteria monitoring students I see her and saunter over to her lunch table. Her friends see me approach and get that nervous AN ADULT IS COMING THIS WAY look so I quicken my step and see that she’s texting on her cell phone (a no-no) so I smile wickedly and say, “Well, I was going to come over here and give you a compliment, but not now. Nu uhhh. Nooooo way.”

“Nooooooooooo. Please? Give me the compliment. What were you going to say? Please?”

“I was GOING to say that you’re just the perfect student and you do everything right, but not now.”

“Come ON. Tell me tell me tell me.”

I determine that she needs a compliment. I give it to her. Then she tells me she won’t be on her phone ever again. I ask what grades she’s getting in class. She says, “Oh, you must already know about that C- I’m getting in Chemistry. I’m working on it. I promise. It’ll be a B before the end of this quarter.”

After lunch I watch the coordinator of a Teen Parenting group walking upstairs with three girls. One of them, Elyse, has come to my attention recently because she’s normally a hall wanderer but I have taken an interest in her now that I notice her growing belly. Her records state that she’s missed upwards of 50 days of school this year but she’s managed to pass 4 out of her 7 classes. How does that happen? I shake my head at trying to come up with an answer to it.

Elyse and I connected last week when I casually asked her why she’s still here in high school because she doesn’t appear to want to be in school. Most of the time the profile for students like her (not the pregnant ones, just the apathetic ones) end up in an alternative program. Defiantly, she tells me that she is NOT an alternative kid.

“I don’t need to be frisked every morning before school. I just can’t seem to want to get to class.”

It broke my heart when she said that, so I confided in her that I was really pulling for her and would do what I could to get her the help she needed. There’s no way she can trust me enough yet, but the interest is there. The seed is planted. I’ll water it when I can.

Elyse and two other girls (the other girls are already parents, but are no longer pregnant) need to get passes back to class and since I’m heading in the direction of my office I offer to take them, get their passes, and send them on their merry ways. As I’m writing passes for them I say, “Boy, I wish I had this kind of program in high school where I was encouraged and taught to be a mom. Know what my counselor said to me?”

“What?” they all ask in unison.

“She told me I should probably go to cosmetology school since I made a “mistake” and would need to get a job and wouldn’t amount to anything.”

They all gasp. One of them pouted and cocked her head to the side. “Awwww,” she says. “That wasn’t nice.”

“I know. It’s ok. Guess how old my Mistake is now?”

“How old?” they all ask loudly. By this time, they’re excited by this conversation. I’ve got them hooked. They want to know how it all turns out, like watching the beginning part of a movie and wondering what the end brought.

“23, almost 24. And guess what else? I went to college WITH my kid and then when she grew up she went to college. Don’t lose sight of what you want, ladies. You can have it, but you have to work for it.”

I’m finishing up the passes that I’m writing for them and they’re desperately searching all the photos on my desk and the degrees and certificates I have plastered on the walls. That’s purposeful because students think that we’re all just magically here at work in education as if we didn’t do anything to get here. Whenever I’ve mentioned teaching English in the past they exclaim, “You used to TEACH?”

All my time could be spent talking to students and checking in with them and being there for them on an intermittent basis. It’s not all I do, but these stories can’t really be told by anyone who isn’t here to connect with them. These things don’t exhaust me all the time and I was, in fact, energized by my interactions with students. They might come back someday and bring their babies to me and show me their degrees and tell me what kinds of things they’re doing. They might go off and I’ll never see them again. There’s a lot of uncertainty in the waiting and a lot of hope, too. I don’t know the answers to what they’re dealing with now nor will I be able to fix anything. It is what it is and in the meantime, we all work, never knowing the outcome.

Crap crap crap crap crap.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

landismom March 5, 2010 at 2:53 pm

You are so strong and amazing. I hope you hear that every day.

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scout March 5, 2010 at 2:59 pm

This made me cry. Then it made me miss teaching. But I don’t want to do that really. You fucking rock. I hope you really know that and own it.
xoxoxo

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Neil March 5, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Man, if everyone in education was as committed as you are… we would, well, it would be great.

I wish I went to your school back in the time. But then again, you wouldn’t be there, right? But you get the idea.

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Headless Mom March 5, 2010 at 3:37 pm

I love your stories of the kids. Those kids are lucky to have you.

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Keyona March 5, 2010 at 3:40 pm

I live this post. It’s so real. Thank god they have you. You are good at what you do.

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Miss Grace March 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm

You made me tear up. I love your love for your students.

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trayday March 5, 2010 at 5:48 pm

this was sooo full of win and mirth, sister. thanky!

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Angela Washington March 5, 2010 at 6:35 pm

You brought tears to my eyes. You should write books, you are such a good writer. You have stories to tell and an audience that will listen. I’m glad to know you and to have seen you grow into the SMART,beautiful woman that you are!

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Bree March 5, 2010 at 9:09 pm

I heart you!

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Sra March 5, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Good post. Thanks!

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KBO March 5, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Love you, lady. Keep fighting the fight.

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DeLaMi March 6, 2010 at 12:24 am

Dude, between you and my mother I never look crazy at a high schooler with a baby on the way! You are only limited by what you limit yourself to do. Your little monsters turned out amazing and hell I turned out amazing and shouldn’t have *looks up at my degrees.
I REALLY hope those kids see what they have in you! I WISH you were working at the school when I was there. I mean I am pretty awesome now but can you imagine how much more awesomer (yeah… I decided that was a word) I would be if you were my mentor during those developing ages?
Keep doing what you are doing so that way when one of these kids get famous and youre old and gray they can host an appreciation dinner for you. I’m RSVPing now… and I want the chicken, not the fish… unless it’s salmon… then I’ll have the fish… :)

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furiousball March 6, 2010 at 10:54 am

mad loves for ya lady. mad, like twitchy weird guy across the bus station kind of mad.

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emma March 6, 2010 at 10:59 am

“We all work, never knowing the outcome.”

Ain’t that the truth!

I love it when you talk about your “typical” days. They don’t seem typical at all to me. They seem amazing.

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Laura March 6, 2010 at 1:17 pm

I have never gone back to my HS during the day. There wasn’t anyone I wanted to connect with. They are lucky to have you!

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Amanda March 7, 2010 at 7:00 pm

The best part about you is that you do in fact have a past…and you share it! I find too many of the teachers I would with seem to insist on being an enigma and heaven forbid the students actually get to know them as people beyond the world of academia. :)

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Tanya March 8, 2010 at 9:33 am

I hope to not be residing in my neighborhood in another six years. But may I say, if I am still a resident of my current neighborhood, I hope to hell you are still where you are. I will sleep better knowing I am sending you my precious ones. Particularly my bright, beautiful, sensitive girl.

ps: My “mistake” is now 24 years old and has made a couple of mistakes of his own (who are beautiful as well)

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Kelly March 8, 2010 at 10:23 pm

How much do I love your education-related posts!? OMG! Just inspiring.

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angie March 10, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Does it seem to you that the pregnancy rate has sky-rocketed since your days? Or is there just more support for the young parents?

I hope your students understand how lucky they are to have you at their school! I love your enthusiasm and support.

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,k0k,0 March 15, 2010 at 6:48 am

iij90ji90

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karate kid katie March 16, 2010 at 6:01 pm

woah kelly.
i have sat with MM on my screen all morning, and keep floating back to it.
jeez you are inspiring. you’ve flipped my head. i have finally congratulated myself, twenty one years on, teen pregnancy and freaking all.
love you, thank you X

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Megan September 19, 2010 at 7:50 am

You are amazing! I just found your blog and working my way through the archives. as a teacher and as a person, I want to say Bravo.

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