10. Emotionally manipulative people who use passive aggression as their coping mechanisms.
9. Thirteen year olds who roll their eyes at me when they don’t like me disciplining them. I know it’s disrespectful and that it’s the only power they feel like they can wield over me, but it’s laughable when a kid is mad at me when I’m working at school and their response is to see me as much as possible in the hallway, make eye contact, and then roll their eyes. It’s gone on for almost a week with one girl and she really thinks she’s getting to me. I don’t suppose she realizes that I keep smiling at her for a reason, but I’m definitely not worried about it.
8. Mason. I know I haven’t much updated anyone on this, but he has decided not to come back home. He loves Seattle and got a job there permanently. Someone even told me that once he goes out west he’ll never come home because it’s so beautiful. THANKS A LOT. But I’m not worrying because that kid is totally figuring things out for himself and I can appreciate how great it must be at his age to have the space to do that. (I’m also not worrying because he is coming home for a visit next month and I haven’t seen him since Memorial Day.) (If he wasn’t coming home even for that, I’d worry. But I’m not.)
The last time I saw Mason he was obliging his older, weirder sister. Hurry home, Mason, she got weirder.
7. Misdials from old friends to my cell phone where I get a 2-minute long message intended for my ex-husband. I was nice enough to call the person back and left a voicemail. I let her know that she called me instead of him and told her that it was really nice hearing her voice anyway since we haven’t talked in several years. I got an “Oops! Sorry! LOL!” text message after that which was kind of a downer since, you know, I took the time to call. I shouldn’t worry about this, though, right?
6. Well, uh, you know anybody else’s personal business.
5. A friend of mine works with the local Junior League here in town and said that my name came up between a few of the women there. They talked about my blog and wondered about getting the word out about their activities and how they could “tap into” me to get free advertising for their events because “Kelly has a socially conscious streak”. It’s weird when people tell you what others say about you and that one was downright bizarre. What the heck do they do at those meetings? Nah, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.
4. My cholesterol levels. Really. They’re terribly good numbers these days.
3. Former church members discussing ways to use my blog. For the Lord. Seriously, people, do you think my friends don’t tell me when they hear that mess? I find this especially disgusting since I left my last church because they wouldn’t help me. I went to the minister to ask for marital help many years ago when my marriage was falling apart. He told me that “the husband, the head of household, really must be the person who comes to the elders to ask for their intervention”. True story. I couldn’t make that up if I tried. My role, apparently, was to play the Good Little Wife and to be patient (and also, do nothing?). He also told me to pray on it so my husband would see the urgency to come in and ask for help. I’m sure the Lord will help them build their own website so I’m not going to worry about that one.
2. When people tell me that my writing is full of rage after I’ve given thoughtful, intellectual time in my writing to racism. Sorry. I’m not the Angry Black Woman you’re looking for. I’m not worrying about that one.
1. Getting those Responses to Racism posts up. I’m not saying that I won’t be doing them, but instead of having urgency about it I think it’s best to let some things simmer. I can at least say that having a holiday next week will ensure that I dive back into it, but I won’t worry about it for now.
I love how you’re not worrying about these things. Because I would worry about these things, and the worrying would do absolutely nothing for me. (Side note: I’m so terribly excited for Mason, yet I’m also worried. Does he have a nice warm hat?) ((I’m mostly kidding about being worried about his hat situation. With that said, let me know if the young man needs a hat.))
Yes! The boy needs a hat! Something cool and hip that would fit in with Seattle. I am positive you are just the person for the job.
Perhaps this one? http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter08/PATTfishy.php
That is SUPER CUTE. I love the picture when they’ve all folded the hats down and look like dead fish. This would be the best gift ever. How did you find this?
If that’s the hat you want, choose some colors and I’ll do it! (If not, I’ll put together something with a few smart cables and ecological wool…)
The picture of Mallory and Mason just needed him in a silly hat, because then he could stand there and look all chill, but participate in the silly with his headgear.
I crochet and knit, so I follow some of the goings on in the fiber arts world.
I’d offer to make one for you, but it looks like Angela’s go you covered.
Knitty is a great collection of patterns. I think I was reading it even before I taught myself how to knit just because they have so much pretty stuff.
Yes! Angela’s got me covered! Mason will love this. I showed him the fish hat and he LOVED it. Can’t wait. I’m so excited that you even offered to knit him a hat. Thanks, Angela!
I just started operation christmas scarves, so it’s a good thing you’re got another source for handknits. I have to produce a scarf a week between now and then to get them all done.
But if you ever find yourself in need of a crocheted doily I can hook you up.
(horrible pun not intended, but now that I’ve seen it, it will stay!)
I need to not worry about at least ten things too. Do you think you could send some of your calm aura over this way, baby? I need it bad.
I think I’m just getting old enough not to care. I wish I had this attitude when I was in my 30s, but I’ll still take it. Get you some.
I’d like to smack your the pastor of your last church in the head with a Bible. Or, you know, make him sit down and read it.
Yeah, well, megachurches get to do whatever they want. Mostly it includes preaching crap that could be on Oprah and calling it The Word. But he was totally ridiculous in that comment to me.
Kinda reminds of the time I wanted to put my children in Christian School ~ after filling out pages 1-22 (of about 40) of their enrollment process, I had to call them about “not” having a pastoral referral. I was then informed that only ‘church going’ Christians could apply.
Love the church thing. Really.
Yeah, that comment is just so church-y, isn’t it?
I wouldn’t worry about those things either, but I will say that I totally agree with Angela and Angella. Boy needs hat. Preacher needs a thump on the head.
One hat and one thump coming right up!
I’ll echo Angela and add that you’re a better person than me for not worrying. I’m hoping it’s a maturity thing, maybe there is still hope for me down the line.
You say maturity. I feel old. YOU CAN DOOOO EEEET.
Uh, noo! I don’t feel like maturity has much to do, necessarily, with age. If that is the case the world wouldn’t be in such a shitty state!
Besides, you’re not that much older than me. Shucks. I’m screwed.
That caption under your kids’ photo is funny. And you know that since your son’s name is Mason but he’s grown, and all these little babies are named Mason now, that means you’re cool, right? It’s true–it’s in Freakonomics.
You know, I have been hearing the name Mason a whole lot more. To me, though, he has an even cooler middle name but it’s not catching on. I named him after reading Upton Sinclair’s book “The Jungle”. I’ll leave it to you to guess which name I chose.
Jurgis.
After venting to some lovely coworkers/friends, I’m also not worrying about #10. It’s difficult, though.
I wonder if that eye-rolling trick will make her leave me alone…no?
I don’t think it’s possible to make passive aggressive people happy. LIke, ever. But let me know how the eye rolling goes!
“Someone even told me that once he goes out west he’ll never come home because it’s so beautiful. THANKS A LOT.”
I went out west, and it was beautiful. I came home anyway. It took awhile (okay, nine years), but it happened. Never underestimate the pull of a close-knit awesome family. <3
God, I hope you’re right.
xoxo
I tend to lurk, but I decided to pull a Punxatawney Phil and pop up long enough to say, “Hi! I like you. Please keep writing.”
I’m digging all the lurkers coming out lately. You pop in whenever you want!
(Fairly) new reader. I love your blog.
Ugh to the church thing. My husband and I just had a long talk today about how misinterpreted that Scripture is in many churches, and how it’s used to view women as inferior. And, in your case, it actually harms people. It’s infuriating to me. I mean, really!
Thanks, Rachel Anne. Welcome. I don’t normally even write about religion because it’s such a touchy subject, but that one still chaps me and definitely affected my life. Many choices were mine, but that’s just bad advice and lazy preachering. That’s not a word. But I like how it sounds.
Mason is staying in Seattle?! Well, that just gives you an excuse to visit him here. It is lovely. He’ll be home soon. Hugs.
He really loves it there but he’s visiting later this month. I’m still so grateful to you and your kindness toward him. I will never forget it. Thank you again.
I can’t wait until I don’t worry about stuff…
Hi there….I’m from Seattle….Mason will come home…it’s pretty but it rains and rains and rains and house prices are so high, it’s impossible to buy (not as bad as Cali but still high). Or you can do what i did and follow my kids to Atlanta which I love and am so glad I left the rain.
I really enjoy your blog.
v
Seeing as I spent his trust fund on essentials like food and housing, he won’t stay too long.
Oh dear, I am the Seattle person and it started in the 60′s when artists went to the left coast and stayed, then family did it. Go in the summer when it is gorgeous– not at Christmas when sun sets at 4:30 and depression rules the earth. A hovel costs half a million. Well, maybe only 300,00 but I round that up. (oh, and send him some full spectrum light bulbs for Christmas) It is a fabulous place to vacation. And when you go, get a beautiful cup of coffee in Freemont and hit that fabulous independent bookstore. I am giving you a mommy hug today.
I want to laugh when 13 year old’s roll their eyes at me. I am going to try that.
You don’t want to know what happens when people move to Arizona.
I totally understand choosing not to worry about things. I think it comes from being a busy person…. you just don’t have time to get weighed down by other people’s crap. As a single mom (with no child support to speak of), I don’t have time to worry abotu what other people are thinking or saying… if doesn’t have to do with my family or my work, it probably is nto worth worrying about. One comment on hair… I have straight hair… always have…always will. But I think curly hair is beautiful, and when I was younger I permed my hair to make it curly (I love myself too much to do that now). My sitter’s daughter wear their hair in what I call poof balls because their hair is so curly that it looks like cotton balls. I think it is my favorite of their hair styles. I love the poof balls. Silly, but I just had to say that.
Oh Seattle looks like such an amazing city. I think I’m headed out that way in the fall for my anniversary. If I run into Mason I have no problem being the weirdo who tells him to call (and visit!) his mother.
But seriously that pastor? I want to bop him on the nose and speak to him in the manner one might a puppy who urinated on the floor. The head of the household, my foot.
I don’t get angry from you at all–passion is what I get.
Thank you, Jenn. I hoped that was coming across, but people will see what they want to see. They will expect what they want to expect. I can only share my vision as I see it and relay it in my words.
Know what passive-aggressive people hate? People who handle issues in a direct, upfront, and assertive manner. Then they become aggressive-aggressive. Very interesting to watch the transformation when they can’t hide. Not so much fun dealing with the aftermath.
Stupid Christians make me want to act unChristian-like. There is so much GOOD to be done in the name of Christianity and they are making my work that much harder. Damn them! Sheesh. I’m sorry, Kelly, that that was the response you received. It was hurtful and demeaning, and did I mention stupid?
I didn’t get the eye-rolling last week, I got the snub. I just smiled, too, and talked to her every time I saw her in the hall. She’s back to loving me this week. Next week…?
I do find you angry at times, but in a good and passionate way, not a diarrhea-of-the-mouth way. Anger is brought on when we feel or are demeaned, dismissed, diminished. The anger isn’t the problem, it’s what we do with the anger that can be.
I have questions about race that I would love to ask sometime, but need time to thoughtfully prepare the reasons for my questions before asking. I may never ask. I also think it is unfair to make you my “resident expert”.
Know what I do worry about? Leaving comments on your post and later finding misspellings or miscalculations in them. Gah! I hate that. Seems to happen every time.
Hey. Have a great long weekend.
Mason graduated in 2010, didn’t he? My kid that age moved out. I can’t say as I don’t worry about her! I would tell you what the Jr. League does, but durned if I know!
Enjoy your weekend. It’s a long school year ahead.
“Emotionally manipulative people who use passive aggression as their coping mechanisms.” Huh?
Hey! I read “The Jungle.” I’m not sure I dug the ending.
Nice “Crane” technique Mallory!