Everyday Mundane

August Resolutions

August 8, 2008

How do you like my posts with no direction? I don’t like them either. Next time I promise to write an outline with Roman Numerals, write a first draft, give it to a Writing Buddy, and then edit and make corrections. Just like I used to teach my students to do when I was still [...]

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I’ve Been Holding Onto These

August 5, 2008

There are just too many things swirling around in my head that are beginning to take residence up in my armpits (the sweating could also be due to the New Orleans type humidity we experienced yesterday where I clutched my chest every time I went outside) and they are working their way down to my [...]

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In Between

July 31, 2008

As my friend Big Mike says, my “lurker to commenter ratio is off the charts“. Had I known you folks were lurking perhaps I would have started giving away stuff MUCH sooner. Thus, I would have been poorer because of it. Even getting a salary raise isn’t going to help because there are shoes calling [...]

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Happy Will Smith & Jeff Goldblum Save The World From Aliens Day

July 4, 2008

Grab some hot dogs. Drink a super frosty cold beer. Slice some watermelon for the kiddies. Cool off in the swimming pool. Enjoy your 4th of July. What are y’all doing today to celebrate (with apologies to my Canadian friends who celebrated their own day (of independence? I don’t know. Angella? Jess? HBM? JenB? There [...]

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Manners & Missions

June 29, 2008

Within my circles of friends we’ve often had the discussion lately about the manners of people. Rather, the lack of manners. Midwesterners, by most standards, are kind people and the things I’ve witnessed lately tell me that they are absent of those things taught to them (hopefully) as children. (Complete aside: I’m going to Boston [...]

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Tough Guys

June 2, 2008

Now that I realize my son, his friends, and his youth group counselor have been reading my site I will have to slow down on all the talk about vajayjays. So, if you’re here for that then too bad. This won’t stop me from complaining about MY CRAPPLE WITHOUT A NAME, though I have realized [...]

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10 Things I Can’t Seem To Learn

May 26, 2008

10. Proper cherry eating. When eating a bowl full of cherries I just grab a cup to put the stems into and spit the seeds into but when I know I’m starting to get full I don’t bother stopping. When I get a really sweet one I ruin it and eat another one. I need [...]

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Not Going To Be A Linear Narrative

May 19, 2008

I am not cut out for Xtreme Sports and Mountain Dew or any kind of vitamin water in which my body shrinks and I dive into the bottle. Every time I drive by a Red Lobster my brain quietly sings “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s. My children are quite emphatic about the types of things [...]

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Hot, Sweaty Dreams

May 15, 2008

This will be brief since my internet is spotty, my unnamed Apple laptop’s mouse pooped out, and the internet gods are farting on my head. Does anyone sense a pattern here? First the body, then the technology. Such is my life. Since my computer is taking this FORCED SABBATICAL, I can only offer my recent [...]

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I’m Everywhere And I’m Sick

May 5, 2008

Today I woke with a nasty version of the fuckyou flu. Symptoms include having the feeling of an enormously inflamed throat, goosebumps from The Chills mixed with a feverish temperature, and the inability to turn my head past my shoulders. Normally, I do a full turn-around a la The Exorcist just to crack my neck [...]

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