No, not like a reverse Oreo. Like a Zero candy bar. I hope you get that joke and laugh as much as I am right now.

Speaking of food (weren’t we?), I have eaten a metric ton of junk in the last few weeks and need a really good detox. We didn’t have enough time for The Pioneer Woman to cook me one of her famous meals, but we enjoyed a wine and cheese tray so I feel like I’ve done my part to encourage CULTURE and I’m ok with that. Ree and I were taping a show while I was there and we got to discuss shoes. Our giddiness over the topic got a little out of hand when we decided to start naming shoes. Instead of “red pumps” we might have named them something like “Lola” (because whatever Lola wants, well…you know the rest) and a pair of pink metallic stilettos that could kill a buffalo with one whack to the head that we named “Hollywood”. I think they look like shoes that one would wear to a poker game. One who might just have the nickname of “Hollywood” or one who has maybe been to Hollywood and has seen A GOOD TIME.

Instead of the obligatory plane shot, I thought it would be fun to see the shadow of the plane on the ground. Incidentally, I’m not fond of flying so the ground is really appealing when I’m in an enormous flying machine suspended in the air.

All I can say about Ree’s Ranch is holy-incredible-lots-of-green-acres-and-wild-mustangs! Everything was beautiful and relaxing and calm and I needed the R & R just before I make a huge decision. If I haven’t mentioned it here it’s because I’m so nervous about the whole thing that I don’t want to jinx it. In any case, I bought a house. A lovely, darling, well-kept, cute almost-everything-on-my-wishlist house that is just making me weak in the knees. I close on the house this Friday so I was sure to take one of those barf bags off the airplane with me because I’m pretty sure that signing all that paperwork is going to make me hurl.

But, back to the ranch. Here it is in the morning light. In case you ever go visit Ree and her Marlboro Man’s ranch you should be warned about this: you will wake up singing “Morning Has Broken” and you won’t be able to get it out of your head for the rest of the day.

Heaven is not, in fact, Iowa. It is Oklahoma. Right here.

No trip is complete without your rental car breaking down when you’re with Lisa Stone of BlogHer. I mean it. You must try to swerve and miss every road kill carcass on the highway and then inadvertently run over a piece of metal which blows out your tire. And then you must pull off the road in front of a house where a guy named Larry rushes to your aid and grabs the extra tire and the jack and does it himself. You just MUST. It’s an adventure if you don’t! You must also bring Larry a case of root beer and some vanilla ice cream so he can be rewarded with root beer floats!

As part of your adventure, you must covertly snap a picture of Lisa, she of the BlogHer fame, while she gets down on ground to supervise Root Beer Larry.

Suffice to say, the time spent at the ranch was wonderful and a much needed rest for me. The end of the school year is nigh and doing my usual Whirling Dervish routine becomes, as usual for me, a bit tiresome. With all that the last year has brought (and even some of 2010!) I am ready for a break, a rest, a new direction, an unexpected sunrise, and love. I’m completely ready to let love rule. Or as Lenny Kravitz says, “Leeeeeet loooooooove ruuuuuule.” I am devoted to being a happy person, saying YES to everything, and finding beauty in anything I am allowed to lay my eyes upon.

These teacups at the ranch were just so dainty and pretty that I couldn’t help but capture their stillness.

So, get ready 2010. I hope you’re prepared for the awesomeness that I expect from you. There is a break in the clouds for me and some sun is shining through right smack down on top of me. The universe is being kind and it would be foolish not to accept it.

Morning has broken. Indeed.

2. There is just an amazing amount of good fortune coming my way right now and I’m afraid to mention any of it. Any time I share it with someone they say things like, “Ooohh, girl. You been livin’ RIGHT to get this blessing!” or “What good karma have YOU been putting out there?” or “Knock on wood.” It’s no secret that the last few years have been rough on me personally and emotionally and there has been a lot of work put into forgiving myself for some things. Things are looking up. (I just said that out loud AND I wrote it. Holy crap, y’all.) For me, this is all very weird.

3. Have you ever heard of Ree, the Pioneer Woman? She’s invited me to her home and is letting me stay at her lodge so we can talk about shoes. SHOES. I’m going to visit her next month.SHOES. Did I mention that I’m going to Oklahoma to talk about SHOES? Weird, right?

When I returned to work this week there was an amazing number of students who stopped by my office and in their infinite wisdom and people skills they demanded, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”

That was their first question. No saluation, nothing. Just WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? which led to to assume they were also thinking DON’T LEAVE US, WOMAN! WE MISSED YOU. DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN.

Ah, to be chastised by 15 year olds. Repeatedly. I can look deep inside them and know they are, ultimately, concerned about me, they just don’t know how to express it.

So, for today’s Feelin’ Good part, I review some important things that have been incredibly prevalent to my own learning as a student advocate. My mother was talking to me about emotional teenagers and I realized that a large part of my time is devoted to counseling students and that I continue to teach over and over correctly identifying emotions when students talk to me.

“I hate her! She makes me sick! I could just HIT HER! Ooooohhh.” I’m eternally amused by this last emphatic Ooooohhh they throw in.

“Why do you not get along with her?”

“I don’t know! She used to be cool with me in junior high.”

“I see. So you’re hurt by her.”

“HURT? ARE YOU CRAZY?” they will say to me. Calming down, but obviously, still upset. “Nawwww. I hate that B” That also amuses me that they don’t SAY the word ‘bitch’ because my ears must be too delicate for that. They just say “B”.

“No, you are hurt. You’re mistaking these two emotions. Anger is just the easiest emotion for you to access. Make no mistake, honey. You are hurt.”

The number of times I’ve had this discussion, be it with boys are girls, is staggering. But it’s one of my proudest moments as an educator and I’ll take a happy emotion from it on any day. Not just a Wednesday.

DNA. Dude. You rock.

Morgan: Oh yeah? Say it to my face!

Mason: You say it to MY face!

Morgan: Say it to my face!

Mason: Say it to my face!

Morgan: Say it to my butt!

My baby totally trumped his brother. That wins hands down in my book. Good mother that I am.