It’s annoying when people are, well…annoying. It’s not everyone, but lately it seems like there is a full moon every single day and The Crazy is just oozing out all over the place. It’s like Annoying is the word of the day. Like my life is sponsored by Annoying. Like this message is brought to you by ANNOYING.

To the neighbor lady who yelled at my dog tonight as I was walking her and she stopped to sniff her flowers and she screamed, “Get outta there!” to her but then refused to answer me and engage with me, a human, when I said in my best Al Pacino Lindsay Lohan Robert de Niro voice, “Are you talking to me? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?” – May a thousand cats piss in your yard and then take a dump.

To my stomach who appears to want to be full-on lactose intolerant and won’t let me even eat a piece of cheese – May you just stop that. Right now. 

To the father who got mad at me when I was disciplining his son and he told me that he’d gladly come up to school and tell me how to “do that damn job of yours” – May your brain cells touch one another so you can “do that damn job of yours” of parenting.

To the media who fail to remember Journalism 101 and fact-check stories – May your stories come back to bite you in the ass because you get called on it.

To the people who butt in line even though they’re grown ups and do it to children who know unfair when they see it – May your debit card be declined the next time you do that.

To the Facebook friends who use capital letters for every update – May your days in class when grammar was taught come back to you so that you STOP YELLING EVERY SINGLE UPDATE.

To the chili with extra kidney beans I made for dinner – May you be doused in Beano the next time I make you.

I’ve just not been able to write as openly over the last two years and for that I’m sad. Not that I haven’t written at all, because I have. But I haven’t been able to share it in an open forum like this here humble little blog. But you know how it is. You start to write some things and share some personal stuff and people respond and say things like, “Thank you for writing that and being honest and saying what I haven’t been able to say” or sometimes they say, “Well, that was a load of shite” because they’re all British and shite and spell shit with an extra “e” and then you wonder how it is that people in England are reading you and then you go, “Holy crackerjack, Batman! I’m the shite because of the foreign readers on my blog!” and then, of course, you stop that crazy thought because you know that shit is spelled without an extra “e”. Am I righte?

In any case, I have to say a thousand thanks to my readers. Because you have understood and silently encouraged and written lovely emails meant to cheer me up for dealing with a broken marriage and a newfound previously-placed-for-adoption daughter and two new promotions at work that made blogging super difficult and moving into a new house and losing my grandmother and still trying VERY hard to be positive and honest in this writing space. I’ve not always wanted this to be the journal that it’s slowly becoming but I’ve learned that I don’t want to be in that club of greedy bloggers and wannabes and drama queens.

All that was to say thank you for understanding when I can’t write it all down. When I have to keep personal things personal and not puke out feelings that I have to sort through here. Thank you for sticking around and making me still love this place. A place where I can’t do certain things. All the things I cannot say. All the words that won’t come out right and will be misunderstood or used against me. All the general bullshit about how hard my job is to write about except in a generic sense to protect the people I work with and the students I service and the families I come in contact with.

Really. I mean it. Thank you.

You know how I am with useless information, so here’s more: whether you have one haiku or seventy of them, the word does not have an S at the end. You don’t have haikus. You always have haiku. I’m not sure why the word can’t be pluralized, but there you have it. So, I offer several haiku.

So, did you notice?

All my flickr pics are gone

Except for the shoes

Resume building

Plus interview readiness

Could mean a new job

Important new job

Doesn’t jar with the blog life

What’s a gal to do?

Some heartfelt gestures

Have been taken the wrong way

To which I say crap

The last comment here?

Some of it was on target

The rest of it? Ouch.

You’ve been watching me

Hey! All you district people

You and your big mouths

Difficult to say

This blog has come to an end

Difficult to say

Full Moon

We, here at Mocha Momma, strive to make things interesting and fun and caffeinated. In the interest of making sure I don’t completely spill my guts here all over the internet (seriously, the mess? You don’t want to know) I’ve decided to institute a little game called “Two Words” where you have to make an inference about what is going on in my life.

Today, I shall provide you with a clue: I didn’t write this post until AFTER I got to school this morning. (I will totally deny this and remove it from my post should I happen to get in trouble for this.)
Have fun. Be nice. To everyone who has sent me e-cards, uplifting e-mails, and general funny stuff (Duuude, link some funny stuff here because they are HILARIOUS and we need to S-H-A-R-E.)

Provide me with some entertainment, would ya? I could use some laughter today.